About

IMG_4255_2-2Jocelyn Eikenburg is a writer and blogger who discovered her passion for the written word — as well as her true love — while living and working in China. Her marriage to John/Jun, a Chinese national from Hangzhou, ultimately inspired her to blog about love, family and relationships in China as well as AMWF (Asian Male, Western Female) relationships.

She has been interviewed by the BBC about her blog and cross-cultural marriage and appeared on CCTV (China Central Television). The Wall Street Journal has also featured her site, while other press coverage highlights include the South China Morning Post. You can find her writing in The Wall Street JournalThe Huffington PostMatador, Asian Jewish Life, and Global Times. Jocelyn has interviewed Celeste Ng (Everything I Never Told You) and Alex Tizon (Big Little Man), two authors with book reviews in The New York Times.

Her essay “Red Couplets” was published in 2013 in the anthology Unsavory Elements alongside some of the biggest names in the China expat literary world including Peter Hessler, Simon Winchester, Michael Meyer, Deborah Fallows, Alan Paul, Susan Conley and Jonathan Watts. The 2014 anthology How Does One Dress to Buy Dragonfruit includes her essay “Huangshan Honeymoon“.

A Cleveland, Ohio native fluent in Mandarin Chinese, Jocelyn has resided in Shanghai, Zhengzhou and her husband’s enchanting city of Hangzhou, but now calls Beijing, China home. She attended Marshall University as a member of the Society of Yeager Scholars, the institution’s highest academic scholarship, and graduated summa cum laude. Jocelyn is currently at work on a memoir, but her secret wish is to one day master the most uptempo Jay Chou songs without missing a beat.

Jocelyn has blogged about topics such as being a yangxifu (the foreign wife of a Chinese man) in China, interracial/cross-cultural relationships (including related stereotypes and racism), AMWF pride, and books and authors that appeal to her readership. To read the best of her work, check out this hand-picked list of her favorite posts.

Have a question, comment or suggestion? Contact Jocelyn at jocelyn(at)speakingofchina(dot)com or through this form.

Yuan Fu photoYuan Fu is the official English-to-Chinese translator for Speaking of China. A native of Ji’nan, China who studied abroad at Cardiff University, he has always loved languages — and this lifelong passion ultimately moved him to offer his talents to this site. When he’s not racking his brains translating posts, Yuan serves as an audit trainee for an accounting firm in Ji’nan. Someday, he hopes to work for a non-profit organization, have a workshop for creating translations and handcrafted military/building models, and also marry the Western woman of his dreams (ladies, he’s single!).

For any comments or suggestions regarding translations, you’re welcome to contact Yuan at speakingofchina(at)hotmail(dot)com.

108 thoughts on “About

  • May 27, 2009 at 12:48 pm
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    Thank you for sharing your gift with the rest of us. Your writing, as well as your experience, is inspiring. I am fascinated with Chinese language and culture, but have no means to experience it firsthand. Your descriptions of Chinese life help me to envision what it will be like when I am able to visit someday.

    Reply
  • May 27, 2009 at 11:08 pm
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    Jocelyn, I enjoyed your writing very much! I just returned back to Pocky two weeks ago. Missed seeing you around in Zen center.
    Have a safe and great journal! Keep writing about China!
    Mei

    Reply
  • May 29, 2009 at 3:30 pm
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    Wish you all the best(2 of u)!:)

    Reply
  • June 4, 2009 at 10:12 pm
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    When my husband and I were first thinking of moving to China back in 2003, your blog helped me to decide to go. You so obviously loved China that I knew it would be a good decision, and it was. We lived there for four years before going to Korea (major mistake) and then back to the US last summer. We couldn’t deal with the US anymore, either, and so went on to Mexico.

    I’ve missed China ever since I left, some days crying from missing it so badly, sometimes even dreaming of it.

    I’ve thought about your web site often and wished you had it going again – and viola! I love Mexico more all the time, but often my students ask if I will ever return to China, and I have to say, “Maybe…maybe…”

    Reply
  • June 24, 2009 at 12:54 am
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    I was led to your blog as I was reading China Law Blog. Great blog. Love it.

    ~ a reader from HK

    Reply
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  • September 16, 2009 at 8:29 pm
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    Can it be? Someone else with an obsession for Chinese people and culture? Glad to find your blog, and thanks for the linkage in your latest post. It’s nice to find China reads and discussions that aren’t preoccupied with politics or business.

    Reply
  • October 4, 2009 at 6:08 am
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    It is great to see your article here. Wishing u enjoy your life in China

    Reply
  • October 19, 2009 at 1:23 pm
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    I chanced upon your website and really love it!! I am really touched by your profound affection for China and the Chinese people. I also studied in the US and am now living in Hong Kong. Keep up the love and I wish you all the best!

    Reply
  • October 19, 2009 at 10:26 pm
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    Beautiful storey. Beautiful life. Thanks for sharing. You and your family are wished happiness. There are so many people rooting for you.

    Reply
  • October 24, 2009 at 12:17 pm
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    哇塞!写好多啊!嘿嘿!真棒!祝你幸福in China~!best wishes n good luck~!

    Reply
  • November 10, 2009 at 8:36 pm
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    I TO LOVE CHINA!!!! MORE FOR THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE I HAVE GROWN TO LOVE THERE.
    Tears came to my eyes as I read your account as it is similar to mine in some ways. I am an American through and through….but I have fallen in love with China this mysterious and wonderous country. I have traveled there 2 times in the last 2 years.
    A friend at work gave me the articles in the State Journal, I read them again and again, because I long for China.
    Keep up the writing.

    Reply
  • December 26, 2009 at 6:22 am
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    for a certain reason, i happen to read your “about”.
    as a Chinese college student, i’m glad that you love my motherland. nothing can be better if your account is read by a sea of Chinese who live in China, especially by those students who don’t love their hometown and are eager to go abroad. thank you for your writing very much!

    Reply
    • December 26, 2009 at 12:57 pm
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      Dear æ—­æ–‡,

      Thanks so much for the comment — or should I say 谢谢? 🙂

      I do love China, though I understand that China, like my own country, the US, is not perfect. It has flaws, there is injustice, and people do suffer. But China is changing, as my husband always tells me, and there are more and more opportunities for people to succeed there.

      I wish you luck, and hope you’ll come back to read more! 欢迎欢迎!

      Reply
  • December 27, 2009 at 12:41 am
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    Great site!! I too am an American woman with plans to marry my Chinese boyfriend. While we are currently living in America, I felt as though I could relate to some of your cultural experiences of loving someone of Chinese descent. It makes me feel less alone! Keep up your great work!

    Reply
    • December 27, 2009 at 1:39 pm
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      Hi Celeste,

      Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment! It’s people like you that keep this site going. Hope you and your Chinese boyfriend have a long, happy life together!

      Now, don’t be a stranger — please stop by and visit my site anytime! 🙂

      Reply
  • January 1, 2010 at 1:10 am
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    I am a Chinese guy who is going to graduate next June. I am majoring in English simply because I want to know more about this world. You mentioned a lot about the cross-culture relationship which is something I desired for years. I always wanna a life different from the ones that most people have in China. I know it is gonna be tough, but I have faith. No difficulty no fun. Life itself is that way. Anyway, it is rather hard for a Chinese mainlander to seek the chance of meeting any International women especially those who want to marry chinese guys. If you have any good channels or tips, why not tell us?

    Reply
    • January 1, 2010 at 7:07 pm
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      Hi Aiden,

      Thanks so much for your comment!

      Good question on how to meet international women in China. Tell you what, let me think about this, and I will give you an answer in one of my upcoming Friday columns called “Ask the Yangxifu” — how does that sound?

      Reply
  • January 1, 2010 at 7:56 pm
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    Sounds great! It is so much nice of you to do this! I already bookmarked this blog. You are really a good Xifu of China. Hahaha….

    Reply
  • January 6, 2010 at 4:53 pm
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    Hi Jocelyn

    Your blog is very well done and your stories are very well written. I came across it from another Chinese friend who linked your blog to her facebook page. I didn’t think much of it at first glance but for some reason decided to click on the link to see what it was able. To my surprise it was your blog speaking about your experience in China and its people. What really caught my attention was the Caucasian perspective of China and its people. I am chinese with a Caucasian girlfriend as well, but I am not a Chinese national. I am actually a US citizen and basically grew up in the States. But I’ve always found it pretty cool when I see other couples that are cross-culture relation.

    Anyways, wanted to thank you for sharing.
    Best

    Reply
    • January 6, 2010 at 8:27 pm
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      Hi Scott,

      Thanks for the sweet comment, and for stopping by! I always love hearing from people in other cross-cultural relationships, especially Chinese and foreign women (no matter where you are in the world). I wish you and your girlfriend the best, and I hope that you’ll come back often to join the conversation. 🙂

      Reply
  • February 4, 2010 at 11:47 pm
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    Hi Jocelyn,

    Your postings are sweet. Am really enjoying them.

    Best wishes,

    Terry Chowan

    Reply
    • February 5, 2010 at 7:19 pm
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      Dear Terry Chowan,

      Thanks for reading, and the support. I’m so glad you’re enjoying my site. 🙂

      Reply
  • February 20, 2010 at 1:59 am
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    Hi Jocelyn

    just followed you from twitter, @winserzhao is mine account.
    Glad to meet another expert who always speaking China. great staff. Hope I can interview you and post to China Travel 2.0 website.
    Winser

    Reply
    • February 20, 2010 at 7:26 pm
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      Thanks for the comment, Winser! I just direct-messaged you on Twitter — I’d be happy to do an interview, anytime.

      Reply
  • March 28, 2010 at 10:24 am
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    Jocelyn, thanks for adding me on your blogroll.
    Congratulations on reaching the mark of 100 posts! 🙂

    Reply
    • March 28, 2010 at 2:58 pm
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      Thanks so much for the comment, Crystal — and thanks for noticing my “achievement”, if you will. 😉

      Reply
  • March 31, 2010 at 12:32 pm
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    Dear Jocelyn,
    I think you’re doing a great job with this blog. Just keep on doing it. You should really have all these experiences published as a book.

    Greetings from Shanghai from Vladimir:)

    Reply
    • March 31, 2010 at 9:36 pm
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      Dear Vladimir, thank you so much for the thoughtful comment — your words of encouragement are so inspiring, and put a smile on my face. 😉

      Reply
  • April 13, 2010 at 9:49 pm
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    I just found your website… and I think it is pretty good… and I will add your site to my page.. so my readers can visit. I am also married to a Chinese national.. however.. I am still living in China. I am in Yuyao City.. if your were in Hangzhou .. then you know where I am .. not far from there. I hope you dont mind but i am going to steal your idea of the questions and answers… (smile).. it is a great one.. I hope we can be in touch and become great online friends.. and hopefully one day meet when you are back in China. I wish you the best with your website…

    Reply
    • April 13, 2010 at 10:13 pm
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      Hi Jo,

      Thanks for the comment, and glad you enjoy my site. Yes, I just found yours a few days ago and added you to my own blogroll, and I think it’s great you’re sharing your own story. Of course I know Yuyao — I have never visited, but I know it is near the Ningbo area.

      I’m glad my Q&A inspired you to start your own — so, by all means, go for it. I would love to keep in touch with you, as 洋媳妇 need to stick together. 😉

      Reply
  • April 14, 2010 at 3:38 am
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    I have a friend who’s study Chinese at University in the UK, she’s had a year experience in Beijing and back in the UK teaching now (she has her PGCE). I am wondering what is your view on a female white teacher in China, how’s easy/difficult life is and anything to be aware of?

    Thanks for sharing your story, it is very moving, I am also in a cross-cultural relationship, and intend to look more into this area and do a PhD on it. Is there any reason why your husband did not study in China for his PhD?

    Any reply/email will be greatly appreciated!

    keep up the good blog!
    British HK Girl

    Reply
    • April 18, 2010 at 12:12 am
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      Hi British HK Girl, Thanks so much for the comment, and for reading! I’ll send you an e-mail to follow up.

      Reply
  • June 11, 2010 at 11:57 pm
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    Hi Jocelyn. I felt obliged to drop you a line and just let you know how much I am enjoying your blog, which I happened to stumble upon one day. (I actually keep getting updates and coming to read it around 5:30 p.m., which is supposed to be the time I get off work, and I always end up staying 10 or 20 minutes late to finish reading your posts and all the comments!)

    Although I do not have a Chinese partner (my boyfriend is a blue-eyed, blonde-haired American, though I might call him a wannabe-Chinese based on his fascination with everything China!), I still find your posts incredibly relevant for dealing with many of the perplexing scenarios Chinese culture can confront us with. And as an editor, I can attest that your writing style is very good, which always makes reading a blog much easier for me! 🙂 When you come back to China, I’d love to get in touch as fellow media professionals (if I am still here). Anyway, best of luck to you and your husband. I look forward to following your chronicles.

    Reply
    • June 14, 2010 at 12:02 am
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      Hi Brittany, your comment really brought a huge smile to my face! Wow, I am so touched that you like my writing, and even stick around the office after hours just to catch up.

      Thanks for the offer to introduce me to media professionals in China! I’ll probably be visiting China next summer in 2011, so hopefully if you’re still there, I’ll just have to take you up on your offer. 😉

      Reply
  • July 21, 2010 at 4:27 pm
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    Hi Jocelyn,

    I just found your blog yesterday and I’m so happy I did. About 13 months ago, I met my wonderful husband. We got married 7 months ago, and are looking forward to my first trip to China this December. My in-laws are having a Chinese wedding for us within days of our 1-year anniversary. We are also visiting Shangai and Beijing. We are so excited!

    It seems that you and I have a lot in common- in the few posts I have read I noted that you are vegan – I was vegan and tend toward that diet most days but am now vegetarian. We also seem to be about the same age and both come from Cleveland, OH.

    I have been using the Pimsleur Mandarin Chinese CD’s which have been extremely helpful-it sounds like you learned Chinese on the ground through immersion, but are there any materials that have been extremely helpful to you?

    I am really enjoying reading your blog to learn more about China and what to expect when I visit in December. THANK YOU so much for pouring your heart out in your blog. I am enjoying every word.

    -Laura

    Reply
    • July 23, 2010 at 10:25 pm
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      Hi Laura,

      I was so touched to find your comment, and if I wasn’t so exhausted from heat and a recent project, I would have written much sooner. Thanks so much for your kind words.

      I can’t get over the similarity between us — vegan, from Cleveland, both married to Chinese, and about the same age. Wow!

      I never used Pimsleur, but I’ve heard rave reviews about it from friends, in particular a business associate who has used it to supplement his tutoring sessions.

      I actually started out with Conversational Chinese 301 (汉语会话301句) by Beijing Language and Culture University and studied with a private tutor (who made makeshift tapes of the conversations in the book, since I didn’t have the book’s tapes). It’s a great book if you’ve never studied much of any Chinese and need to get around the country fast — but I’m sure Pimsleur is much, much better.

      I also learned a lot through some non-traditional study aids — Chinese TV love dramas (yes, admittedly, I was a Meteor Garden fan), karaoke-style video discs w/ subtitles (Jay Chou was one of my favorites). Once you get a foundation in the language, methods like these make learning fun, and keep you going.

      Good luck with your wedding — that will be an adventure to remember!

      Yours,

      Jocelyn

      Reply
  • July 28, 2010 at 6:57 am
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    I like this blog! amazed to know that you know so much about China!
    I am a Chinese who is learning English now,i hope more people can learn about China from your articles.

    Reply
  • September 19, 2010 at 7:39 pm
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    Hey Jocelyn! I am researching different programs to teach abroad in China and the Appalachians Abroad Teach in China program sent me to your site. I did not know the best way to contact you but I would love some advice on being a young traveler in China. I am graduating with my Bachelor’s degree in May and am contemplating going to Beijing for a year. Any advice, tips, worries you could share with me would be reallly appreciated!

    Reply
    • September 19, 2010 at 10:14 pm
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      Thanks for the message, Emily! I’ll respond to you by e-mail within a couple of days.

      Reply
  • September 25, 2010 at 10:12 pm
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    I am a Chinese guy and I came across your blog by search engine and found your blog very helpful on explaining the love relationship between western women and chinese men. I started reading your blog and those questions to you yesterday, and hopefully i will add some of my comments on it shortly. and apart from the love relationship, i think you have provided some very first hand experience on many aspects about China.

    Reply
  • October 12, 2010 at 11:56 pm
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    Hi Jocelyn,
    You make an excellent cross culture ambassador for America and China. I am a Chinese guy with a white partner for 30 years, and we have two beutiful daughters together. I thoroughly enjoyed your blog. Thanks and keep up with your good work.
    Regards,
    Albert.

    Reply
    • October 16, 2010 at 9:19 pm
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      Thanks so much for the comment, Albert — I’m touched. 😉

      Reply
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  • November 29, 2010 at 3:33 pm
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    I’m so happy that I came across your site! I’m an Acupuncturist who is quite obsessed with China myself (and Pearl Buck). I can’t wait to read your posts!!! Hen gaoxing jian dao ni. 🙂

    Reply
    • December 1, 2010 at 3:44 pm
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      I’m so glad to find your comment on my site. Wow, another Pearl Buck fan! I bet we would have a lot to share in person.

      Reply
  • December 1, 2010 at 6:34 pm
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    Interesting blog. I am Chinese grew up in Boston, born in China. I didn’t know that much about China until I found this blog:) My dating life has become a bit dry lately, and definitely would read some of the posting here to see how I can get back on track! I dated mostly Asian women as it is hard to date non Asian but have gone out with a few who cares more about my personality!

    Reply
    • December 1, 2010 at 8:46 pm
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      Leo, so nice to find your comment on my blog, and I’m so glad you enjoy it. I really love hearing from my readers. Hope you can find some inspiration in these pages!

      Reply
  • December 9, 2010 at 6:31 pm
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    Greetings from Hangzhou:

    Thanks to your site, I easily found the character for gui in, “Zao sheng gui zi!” Isn’t it nice being one of the first results on google for that phrase? A student of my wife’s (Dental Hygiene) is getting married today and I needed to add that in our card for her.

    We live in Hangzhou and I, like you, much prefer the small towns and villages hidden away in the hills and valleys (though if we have to be in a city, then Hangzhou is a blessing). I very much hope you get a chance to come back soon.

    Reply
    • December 11, 2010 at 10:30 pm
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      Thanks for the comment, Matthew — I always enjoy hearing from people who love Hangzhou, and China, as much as I do! Glad my website could help with the card for that wedding.

      Reply
  • December 31, 2010 at 3:06 am
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    Hi! Jocelyn
    I am very glad that I can visit your website , It is wonderful place , bridage the gap between the westerners and chinese people , this is the platform which enhances the comprehension of chinese culture , I am a chineseman , I like western culture too,
    I am 40 , single , actually divorced , I like to find a yaxifu , Could you help me find one , I am vey appreciated your help !
    my Email : [email protected]
    your sincerely Ben

    Reply
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  • February 4, 2011 at 10:13 am
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    Hello,

    I cant find you email so I´m sorry to write you here. My name is Martina Kaderova and would like to ask you about possible cooperation with finding wedding tailor in Suzhou. My salon is located in the Czech Republic. I am looking for the
    tailors and wedding factories in China.

    Sincerely,

    Martina Kaderova

    Reply
  • March 15, 2011 at 3:52 pm
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    I am so very happy to have found your blog. I only wish I had found it years ago. Oh if you only knew, I have been in love with a Chinese man since I was 10 years old. He was my mothers co-worker, and I grew up with the biggest crush on him. It wasn’t until I was of age that he came to California to see me one weekend and what a glorious weekend it was! And though I have dated a few Asian men it is he that I return to yearning for. We have reconnected from time to time in the past 20+ years. He always tells me that he doesn’t have time for a relationship right now because of work. I fear he just isn’t that into me but I still adore him and am grateful for the time I do get to spend with him.

    Your blog gives this old lady hope that one day I will find an Asian man to love and love me back. Thank you!!

    Reply
    • March 16, 2011 at 10:09 pm
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      Thanks for the comment, Cheri, and glad you enjoy my blog. I hope your dream comes true and you find your Asian Mr. Right someday. 🙂

      Reply
  • April 7, 2011 at 12:39 am
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    My name is Charles Ho ,chinese male ,single .27 years old.Now work in Dongguan,Guangdong province ,China,the city next to hongkong.
    I am excited to find out “speaking of China”,just wanna make sure if there is a spot for ladies only?cross-cultural love, dating, marriage and family.
    I believe there is a point where this 2 cultures can match, but for a life time, i express my doubts. After few years tensions will came and in the end ours life will be paintfull. I can only say, no one is perfect, but for me always a kind-hearted girl will be my match.
    But in my eyes, I don´t see their nationalities, I rather see their quality of a nice human being, I know many examples of intermarriage, some persist and some end up with divorce.
    It´s ok that you guys like Asians or whatever, but please don´t make provocative and generalized statements.
    Get back to me any comments on cross-cultural love, dating, marriage .See you next time!
    Email:[email protected]
    Skype:charles19850319

    Reply
  • May 12, 2011 at 11:21 pm
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    Hello Jocelyn I am really admire your husband. He can
    meet and date marry with your such as pretty west girls
    I am living and working in Shanghai. But unlucky I don’t have chance to know and meet the west girls in Shanghai
    and don’t know how to know them. and where I can easy to say hello to them and be their friends. If any foreigner girls that working and living in Shanghai. Pls contact with me. I really want find a foreigner girls as
    girlfriends. I hope I can marry with a west girl like jocelyn
    Then have a nice family. My name is Frank. any my E-mail is [email protected]. and my skype is frankzhao555. my mobile is 13671918270. I am waiting for the good new. Thanks!

    Reply
  • May 16, 2011 at 9:40 pm
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    Hi ,
    I run a free learning website called bizpanda.org and I recently added your
    link to my blogroll. I’m a long-time admirer of your blog. I would love it if you
    added my link http://bizpanda.org/ to your blog. I feel it would benefit
    visitors to your blog studying Chinese or doing business with China.

    Yours Sincerely,
    David Glynn

    Reply
  • May 21, 2011 at 1:28 am
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    I think you have a great blog, providing advice, hope and genuine encouragement to others, from your own experience of life.

    Reply
  • May 31, 2011 at 7:27 pm
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    jocelyn,
    your articles are very true, whereby you only get to see and live it when you are in china. it is very helpful to many people actually. I appreciate it because my mexican wife would love to read it because I am a Malaysian Chinese, she has stories similar to yours. Especially the worries,concern and pressure of a mother in law…..

    Reply
  • July 1, 2011 at 3:00 am
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    give me your weico adress i’m yo that guy you know in the bus

    Reply
  • July 3, 2011 at 7:23 pm
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    I kind of wish I knew of this blog five years ago in 2006. I met a Chinese international student back then and being ignorant, well, in cultures, taboos, pretty much everything, chased him away to make long story short. 🙁 Should I ever be with a Chinese guy again, thanks to your advice and articles, I think I at least will have an idea of how to behave and what to expect. (Hopefully won’t mess it up.) Also in the future if I end up with a Chinese I might ask some interesting questions hopefully.

    Reply
  • July 4, 2011 at 7:26 am
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    Hi jocelyn,

    Thank you for putting all the posts about AMWH. I am a Chinese Australian who came from Hong kong over eleven years ago. I have recently been dating an Aussie girl and to be honest, we both love what we read on your site. Keep up the good work! I hope soon I can contribute to your blog with my personal experience 🙂

    Reply
  • July 15, 2011 at 12:56 am
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    Hi Jocelyn,
    Just read your blog by chance.
    Chinese culture is very complicated as our country has so long history. But the country is losing its tradition and valuable things,especially after the so called New culture movement during the 1920s. However this is not a sole phenomenon in China but aslo in western countries.
    If you want to understand this country and culture I suggest you read some classical works of China. Such as “Si Shu Wu Jing”. All of the Classical works were written in ancient Chinese if would even be difficult for a Chinese to read, but as I know there has been translated version for them.
    I also want to recommend a very famous Chinese Master to you, Professor Nan Huai-Chin,he is the one who really knows Chinese culture and has learned through 儒,释,道。
    Here is a link of introduction of him.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nan_Huai-Chin

    My email is: [email protected] Hope to hear from you.
    Regards,
    Peter Xie

    Reply
  • July 15, 2011 at 1:10 am
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    By the way, enjoy your life in China!

    Reply
  • July 25, 2011 at 8:02 am
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    Hi Jocelyn,

    I want to thank you for your wonderful blog and stories on your experiences with your husband, his family, and life in China. I started reading your website about 2 years ago, just before meeting my wonderful Chinese boyfriend.

    Your website inspired me to revamp my own and start a new blog on relationship experiences (not just with my boyfriend, but also his family) as well as cultural anecdotes and stories from my trip to China in hopes other interracial couples will be able to relate http://nextcreativity.com. I want to let you know I added you to my blogroll because your site truly deserves to be read.

    Thank you!

    Reply
  • July 27, 2011 at 3:54 pm
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    Hi Jocelyn. I’m wondering if there is a way that I can contact you privately. I have a lot of questions and things I would love to discuss with you and get your opinion about. I love reading your blog and find that a lot of it is hitting home for me. I never thought to consider that there were other western women in China having similar experiences as me!!

    Thanks and let me know how I can send you an email or something!!

    Reply
  • September 11, 2011 at 9:47 pm
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    My advice to you is to best move to California where in some of those communities, there is more interracial marriage between Asians and others. Or Hawai’i

    Or to Vancouver, British Columbia or Toronto. Both of these cities have alot of Canadians of Asian descent. (Toronto has over 300,000 of Chinese descent, and that’s not even counting those of Thai, Vietnamese, Japanese, etc. descent! There is over 2 million people across Greater Toronto.)

    The reason why I suggest that, is when you live for a long time in a city of high interracial dating and marriages, then the discussions and generalizations about Chinese men tend to exhibit certain behavoiurs or Chinese women or white men, etc. fall apart pretty quickly. It is much easier to lift the veil of interrcultural/inter-racial perceptions when there’s others with a range of different challenges that have to do more with personality, socio-economic family background, etc.

    By the way, my partner is of German descent and we’ve been together for last 19 years. We collaborate in different ways like blog posts: http://thirdwavecyclingblog.wordpress.com

    2 of my sisters also have married Caucasians and have 5 children between the 2 of them. A 3rd sister is married to a Chinese-Canadian (3 children).

    Reply
  • December 13, 2011 at 2:41 am
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    When I discovered your blog I couldn’t stop reading through all your articles.
    Both my parents are Chinese but I was born in Germany and grew up here. This was the reason for all sorts of frustration in my upbringing. I was stubborn, refused to learn Chinese but I complied to their expectations in terms of academic success and that seemed to have been enough for them. We rarely talk through the phone now after I’ve moved away and they seem to trust me in my choice of a German boyfriend (although he didn’t make a good impression when he accompanied me home..). After reading your posts I feel I can understand their strictness and lack of hugs and compliments a bit more.
    I actually complained once that all they tell me is what I should do better and never how I did something well. I guess that’s just the difference in culture but I find myself doing the same.

    Reply
  • March 4, 2012 at 3:19 pm
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    Hi Jocelyn! I certainly hope that you can “master the most uptempo Jay Chou songs” as soon as possible, and as many as possible! :p

    I love translating Chinese pop songs: http://inmymelody.wordpress.com
    or http://blog.sina.com.cn/inmymelodychn
    I’ve translated 32 songs so far, including Jay’s 《水手怕水》and 《兰亭序》.

    Besides, I’d like to recommend my Sina Microblog account 哈哈中国HahaChina (http://weibo.com/hahachn) to you. I translate Chinese jokes and hilarious remarks every day.

    Best Wishes!

    Reply
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  • April 21, 2012 at 5:27 am
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    Hi!

    I read your blog and I like it very much!, I’m from Mexico and I’ve been in China 2 times in the last year and a half, right now I’m staying in Dongguan for 5 weeks (I’m on the third).
    I love the culture and the people, and I’ve found that language is never a barrier, Chinese really try hard to make you feel welcome.

    Hope you keep writing!

    Reply
  • April 27, 2012 at 10:34 am
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    I accidentally googled something and your blog came up. I have never heard of you. Of course, I do not live in China. But your blog is inspiring. Great work!! I wish more people here where I live know there is diversity out there. Too bad, you often heard China is less diversity… but you gonna surprise how my people in my redneck town have no clue about this. Keep good work. I might need your advice soon.. I am dating a jewish girl too. Thanks again.

    Reply
  • January 24, 2013 at 10:53 pm
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    Just came across your work while at work, I am really looking forward to getting a chance to read this space! I’m from the UK and have been in China for about 5 months, so far I’ve had a brief dating experienced with a Chinese guy that was confusing to say the least. Being in China I would prefer to date Chinese guys, so I think this will be an interesting reference point!

    xoxo

    Reply
  • February 18, 2013 at 6:04 am
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    Hi!My name is wanglei,I am from China,My English is poor,But I want to make a friend with you.I Will be very happy if you send me a email.

    Reply
  • March 17, 2013 at 4:02 am
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    Hi! I enjoyed my blog hop over here! I will surely come back for more! 🙂

    Reply
  • March 17, 2013 at 5:28 pm
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    I wish I can meet someone like you. too bad, I am a metro Asian lives in a redneck neighbourhood here in Canada. 🙁
    I have dated a few Jewish girls in my college. maybe i should use Jdate instead. lol.

    Reply
  • August 18, 2013 at 4:38 pm
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    Jocelyn,
    Thank you so much for your contribution to mixed marriage between the East and West. The reality is really about a relationship between a man and woman, just kick it up a notch. Learn some of his favorite recipes. For some reason Chinese men expect a woman to know how to cook. Also, respect him as a man, this is crucial to his identity as a Chinese male. I really admire you for learning to speak Chinese and am a little jealous. I’m almost deaf, so I can’t distinguish between the different tones in Chinese, plus my husband speaks four different dialects. Who knew? I really do appreciate you. Sincerely, Darla

    Reply
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  • October 26, 2014 at 9:46 pm
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    i don’t think words like white male/female …should be used in your article,Mrs.jocelyn.

    Reply
    • February 23, 2015 at 11:10 pm
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      come on, what’s wrong with this words mate, she’s just talking. yellow, white, black, just describing doesn’t mean anything. don’t be so fragile and sensitive.

      Reply
  • January 11, 2015 at 11:17 pm
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    Although my wife and I are both Chinese, I identify with a lot of what you write about given my Western upbringing (go Ohio!). Keep it up!

    Reply
    • January 11, 2015 at 11:53 pm
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      Thanks Jonathan! And always fun to hear from people who grew up in my old stomping grounds!

      Reply
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  • April 2, 2015 at 4:08 pm
    Permalink

    AMWF is a myth, like the Loch Ness Monster or the Yeti. Blogs like this don’t help because they propagate weird and fanciful theories, it feels just like the 70s again when people start becoming delusional. Next thing you know, aliens visiting Earth would become a mainstream theory. Let’s not go that way, for the good of mankind, kindly take down your blog.

    Reply
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  • April 12, 2016 at 10:58 pm
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    Wow so cool to see that you decided to reside in China, my wife is Dutch and I am a Chinese-American. We haven’t decided where to settle yet, but China doesn’t seem very likely even though we both love the country, the pollution alone is already too much for us to consider.

    Reply
  • July 1, 2016 at 9:43 am
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    i love China so much too. Their culture mostly similar to our own culture. Strong family ties,Respect,Passion,and Dreams. Thank you Jocelyn for your blogs.

    Reply
  • September 22, 2016 at 2:27 am
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    Here is an interracial love story. The guy is from China while the girl is from Ukraine .

    The girl is well educated and her family is in the middle income range. The guy on the other hand is a very poor village boy who haven’t even finished high school.

    It is the girl who made the first move when she first set her eyes on him and she ended up marrying him and settled in China.

    And of course you should watch the whole video here :

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eU4oaz5d_Ic

    Reply
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  • October 19, 2017 at 5:03 pm
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    Hello, I am an Australian woman that has never visited China. I eagerly read your posts that describe love, language and culture. I hope to visit China next year once I finish my masters, then I will be running the streets of China to find love. Hehe.
    Thanks for sharing western women love with Asian men.
    Jacqueline

    Reply
    • February 28, 2018 at 9:38 am
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      Hey Jacqueline, I wish you are going well for finishing your master degree.
      Welcome to experience China’s culture, life style, and also very different cuisines.
      For sure, best of luck to find a true Chinese boyfriend!

      Reply
  • January 7, 2018 at 10:08 am
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    Hello! I am so grateful to find this blog. I am an American Woman who is in love with a Chinese man. He is currently residing in the states for work but plans to move back to China. We are having a hard time trying to find a support group of friends who are also in a cross culture relationship. Our biggest concern is that his parents are coming to visit here for several months but they don’t speak English and I don’t speak Mandarin. We have no idea what is the best way to communicate in order to build a positive relationship with them. We are looking for advice, books or groups who we can lean on for advice or information on how to best combine our cultures.

    Please help!
    Best wishes,
    Jackie

    Reply
    • January 11, 2018 at 9:30 pm
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      Hi Jackie, thank you for the comment! I’m going to email you and I’ll get you in touch with our groups.

      Reply
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  • February 15, 2018 at 3:04 pm
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    Hi Jocelyn,

    I follow you on Twitter, and I also follow your site.

    My daughter has only been involved with Asian men, and she just turned 28 and is completing her Masters in Digital Marketing in Oxford, England. She will be looking for digital marketing jobs in Asia. I may have incorrect information, however, it seems it may be more unlikely to find a job in China as a white American woman, unless it is ESL. Is that true?

    I may have some misinformation, or just know about different circumstances. I follow Laowhy86 and Serpentza on Youtube about living in Shenzhen, and it seems getting a job in China is difficult (unless ESL).

    My daughter would love to work in marketing and live in China – although her Mandarin is minimal right now. She does speak Japanese, but has lived in both Hong Kong and Japan, and really likes Chinese men more.

    Do you have any advice regarding this? Should she even think about Shanghai or Beijing or Shenzhen? She is going to be looking for employment soon, and wondered if she should attempt Mainland China or not.

    Thanks for any feedback you can provide.

    Sincerely,
    Sharon (her mom)

    Reply
    • February 16, 2018 at 10:43 am
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      Hi Sharon,

      While it is true that job hunting is more challenging in recent years here in China, there’s still a very robust demand for talented foreigners here and your daughter shouldn’t necessarily write China off. There is definitely demand for talent in Beijing and Shenzhen, which are major tech hubs both in China and the world. Her Japanese skills could give her an edge with the right company too. But nowadays, with platforms like LinkedIn, she can start browsing positions and get a sense for what’s out there.

      Reply

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