Jocelyn Eikenburg, who never stops speaking of China
My name is Jocelyn Eikenburg, and I’ve fallen in love — with China, to be exact. It’s my greatest passion. There’s nothing I love more than to write about the people and humanity of China, a country that, despite the attention and press, is still mysterious to much of the public.
But the country is especially close to me because I married a Chinese national, and adore nothing more than to visit with my doting in-laws in the rolling hills of the countryside, and experience a life so far removed from my upbringing in suburban Cleveland, Ohio.
I’ve spent five and a half years in China, living in Zhengzhou, Hangzhou, and Shanghai. While my husband and I now live in the Mountain West, we secretly plot our eventual move back to China. In the meantime, I keep the local library busy by reading every Pearl Buck book I can get my hands on. 
Why is Jocelyn Speaking of China?
Well…it all started out as admiration from afar. I’d been fascinated with much of Chinese culture during my high school years.
Taoism became my adopted religion.
I developed a palate for Chinese cuisine.
At the art museum, I was drawn to Chinese art and calligraphy.
I loved traditional Chinese medicine.
Yet, despite all of this, coming to work or live in China never crossed my mind.
However, I was determined to live the “expat” life after college graduation. I assiduously searched for the opportunity to work in Europe or South America. But nothing terribly inspired me.
Running out of options, I visited the International Office. Oddly, they suggested I go teach in China through their program.
Teach in China? Not only did the thought of standing in front of a room of people teaching terrify me, but I’d never considered living in China. Still, I thought it over — and said yes.
In 1999, I agreed to spend a year at Henan College of Education in Zhengzhou, Henan Province, China. Finally, I could learn what modern China was really like — while indulging my secret passion for Chinese culture.
This passion grew while I was in Zhengzhou, China. It grew through my friends and my experiences, both full of joy and sorrow.
Meanwhile, I began studying Chinese. I discovered my pronunciation was pretty good, a must for excellent Chinese. With the help of my tutor, I made rapid progress — within just four months, I could speak more Chinese than a teacher who had been in the country for four years.
I returned home to the US after spending a year teaching in China. While I’d planned to study Chinese in Beijing that summer, my plans went awry. So, after three weeks of bumming around Suzhou, I needed to recharge myself.
(Also, I was determined to find “meaningful work related to my major” (ha!).)
China never left me while in the US. I often dreamt of China, often longed for her streets, and yearned to reunite with my old friends there. Especially, I missed the adventure and stimulation of a foreign and highly fascinating culture.
I even enrolled in a Chinese class at a local community college. It just wasn’t the same.
A wonderful friend and career counselor, Jim, sparked my interest one chilly day in March. He said, “why don’t you return to China?” From that moment on, I was determined to make my way back to China. But little did I know, I would do it as a writer.
I returned in August 2001 to China to do volunteer work as a technical writer for an environmental NGO in Hangzhou.
While those four months were calamitous and stressful within the NGO, outside the doors of the building, I found nirvana — I was in China again, and it didn’t matter where I was or what I did.
New opportunities came along with the auspicious year of the horse. On January 2nd, I met the CEO of an excellent Chinese internet company. He needed someone to build his English websites and provide English training for his staff. And there were benefits…and a REAL salary. Oh, joyful day!
I joined the internet company on January 5, 2002, and enjoyed several months of engaging work while learning HTML, Dreamweaver and Adobe Photoshop. I also met my fabulous husband, John, there, who famously described our meeting to the US visa officer in this way: “I was a translator. She proofread my translations.”
But after a while, I found the job stagnating. Top-down management was frustrating and I had little opportunity for advancement.
I’d planned to stick it out for a little while before quitting to study Chinese…but the company beat me to it. After one year of work, they let me go, citing they no longer needed the services of a foreigner.
Hangzhou’s job market offered little promise, so I took a leap of faith and moved to Shanghai (where John already was studying psychology in a graduate program). Luck wasn’t far behind either, because my first job interview hired me on the spot–as a print copywriter.
In July 2004, I hit another milestone in my China career — I said “I do” to John at the Shanghai marriage registration office. That day began a partnership and new understanding of the country, as I learned to see things through his eyes, and the eyes of his family, most of whom live out in China’s less developed — but charming — countryside.
In December of 2005, John and I moved back to the US, where I would work as a freelance writer and John would pursue an advanced degree in psychology. I started The Wu Way (Writers who really know China!), and Jun began making preparations to get accepted into a clinical psychology Ph.D. program. It was a long, hard road of adjustment for both of us, and John’s hardships as a Chinese national in the US made my own country never quite feel the same again. At the very least, we enjoyed a wonderful respite trip back to China in 2007, when we had our traditional Chinese wedding in Tonglu (even if I lost my voice — long story).
In 2008, we cleared the biggest hurdle — John was accepted into a clinical psychology Ph.D. program in the US! Here at the university, we’ve reconnected with the Chinese foreign student population, and enjoy yet another side of China.
Still, the two of us have never forgotten our passion for China, the Chinese people, and Chinese culture. That’s why, when he graduates, we’re moving back — so John can help the people of China with his psychology, while I continue speaking of China.
So, come along and explore this incredible country with me — and who knows? Maybe you’ll fall in love with her too.
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Thank you for sharing your gift with the rest of us. Your writing, as well as your experience, is inspiring. I am fascinated with Chinese language and culture, but have no means to experience it firsthand. Your descriptions of Chinese life help me to envision what it will be like when I am able to visit someday.
Jocelyn, I enjoyed your writing very much! I just returned back to Pocky two weeks ago. Missed seeing you around in Zen center.
Have a safe and great journal! Keep writing about China!
Mei
Wish you all the best(2 of u)!:)
When my husband and I were first thinking of moving to China back in 2003, your blog helped me to decide to go. You so obviously loved China that I knew it would be a good decision, and it was. We lived there for four years before going to Korea (major mistake) and then back to the US last summer. We couldn’t deal with the US anymore, either, and so went on to Mexico.
I’ve missed China ever since I left, some days crying from missing it so badly, sometimes even dreaming of it.
I’ve thought about your web site often and wished you had it going again – and viola! I love Mexico more all the time, but often my students ask if I will ever return to China, and I have to say, “Maybe…maybe…”
I was led to your blog as I was reading China Law Blog. Great blog. Love it.
~ a reader from HK
[...] About [...]
Can it be? Someone else with an obsession for Chinese people and culture? Glad to find your blog, and thanks for the linkage in your latest post. It’s nice to find China reads and discussions that aren’t preoccupied with politics or business.
It is great to see your article here. Wishing u enjoy your life in China
I chanced upon your website and really love it!! I am really touched by your profound affection for China and the Chinese people. I also studied in the US and am now living in Hong Kong. Keep up the love and I wish you all the best!
Beautiful storey. Beautiful life. Thanks for sharing. You and your family are wished happiness. There are so many people rooting for you.
哇塞ï¼å†™å¥½å¤šå•Šï¼å˜¿å˜¿ï¼çœŸæ£’ï¼ç¥ä½ 幸ç¦in China~ï¼best wishes n good luck~!
I TO LOVE CHINA!!!! MORE FOR THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE I HAVE GROWN TO LOVE THERE.
Tears came to my eyes as I read your account as it is similar to mine in some ways. I am an American through and through….but I have fallen in love with China this mysterious and wonderous country. I have traveled there 2 times in the last 2 years.
A friend at work gave me the articles in the Idaho State Journal, I read them again and again, because I long for China.
Keep up the writing.
for a certain reason, i happen to read your “about”.
as a Chinese college student, i’m glad that you love my motherland. nothing can be better if your account is read by a sea of Chinese who live in China, especially by those students who don’t love their hometown and are eager to go abroad. thank you for your writing very much!
Dear æ—æ–‡,
Thanks so much for the comment — or should I say 谢谢?
I do love China, though I understand that China, like my own country, the US, is not perfect. It has flaws, there is injustice, and people do suffer. But China is changing, as my husband always tells me, and there are more and more opportunities for people to succeed there.
I wish you luck, and hope you’ll come back to read more! 欢迎欢迎ï¼
Great site!! I too am an American woman with plans to marry my Chinese boyfriend. While we are currently living in America, I felt as though I could relate to some of your cultural experiences of loving someone of Chinese descent. It makes me feel less alone! Keep up your great work!
Hi Celeste,
Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment! It’s people like you that keep this site going. Hope you and your Chinese boyfriend have a long, happy life together!
Now, don’t be a stranger — please stop by and visit my site anytime!
I am a Chinese guy who is going to graduate next June. I am majoring in English simply because I want to know more about this world. You mentioned a lot about the cross-culture relationship which is something I desired for years. I always wanna a life different from the ones that most people have in China. I know it is gonna be tough, but I have faith. No difficulty no fun. Life itself is that way. Anyway, it is rather hard for a Chinese mainlander to seek the chance of meeting any International women especially those who want to marry chinese guys. If you have any good channels or tips, why not tell us?
Hi Aiden,
Thanks so much for your comment!
Good question on how to meet international women in China. Tell you what, let me think about this, and I will give you an answer in one of my upcoming Friday columns called “Ask the Yangxifu” — how does that sound?
Sounds great! It is so much nice of you to do this! I already bookmarked this blog. You are really a good Xifu of China. Hahaha….
Hi Jocelyn
Your blog is very well done and your stories are very well written. I came across it from another Chinese friend who linked your blog to her facebook page. I didn’t think much of it at first glance but for some reason decided to click on the link to see what it was able. To my surprise it was your blog speaking about your experience in China and its people. What really caught my attention was the Caucasian perspective of China and its people. I am chinese with a Caucasian girlfriend as well, but I am not a Chinese national. I am actually a US citizen and basically grew up in the States. But I’ve always found it pretty cool when I see other couples that are cross-culture relation.
Anyways, wanted to thank you for sharing.
Best
Hi Scott,
Thanks for the sweet comment, and for stopping by! I always love hearing from people in other cross-cultural relationships, especially Chinese and foreign women (no matter where you are in the world). I wish you and your girlfriend the best, and I hope that you’ll come back often to join the conversation.
Hi Jocelyn,
Your postings are sweet. Am really enjoying them.
Best wishes,
Terry Chowan
Dear Terry Chowan,
Thanks for reading, and the support. I’m so glad you’re enjoying my site.
Hi Jocelyn
just followed you from twitter, @winserzhao is mine account.
Glad to meet another expert who always speaking China. great staff. Hope I can interview you and post to China Travel 2.0 website.
Winser
Thanks for the comment, Winser! I just direct-messaged you on Twitter — I’d be happy to do an interview, anytime.
Jocelyn, thanks for adding me on your blogroll.
Congratulations on reaching the mark of 100 posts!
Thanks so much for the comment, Crystal — and thanks for noticing my “achievement”, if you will.
Dear Jocelyn,
I think you’re doing a great job with this blog. Just keep on doing it. You should really have all these experiences published as a book.
Greetings from Shanghai from Vladimir:)
Dear Vladimir, thank you so much for the thoughtful comment — your words of encouragement are so inspiring, and put a smile on my face.
I just found your website… and I think it is pretty good… and I will add your site to my page.. so my readers can visit. I am also married to a Chinese national.. however.. I am still living in China. I am in Yuyao City.. if your were in Hangzhou .. then you know where I am .. not far from there. I hope you dont mind but i am going to steal your idea of the questions and answers… (smile).. it is a great one.. I hope we can be in touch and become great online friends.. and hopefully one day meet when you are back in China. I wish you the best with your website…
Hi Jo,
Thanks for the comment, and glad you enjoy my site. Yes, I just found yours a few days ago and added you to my own blogroll, and I think it’s great you’re sharing your own story. Of course I know Yuyao — I have never visited, but I know it is near the Ningbo area.
I’m glad my Q&A inspired you to start your own — so, by all means, go for it. I would love to keep in touch with you, as 洋媳妇 need to stick together.
I have a friend who’s study Chinese at University in the UK, she’s had a year experience in Beijing and back in the UK teaching now (she has her PGCE). I am wondering what is your view on a female white teacher in China, how’s easy/difficult life is and anything to be aware of?
Thanks for sharing your story, it is very moving, I am also in a cross-cultural relationship, and intend to look more into this area and do a PhD on it. Is there any reason why your husband did not study in China for his PhD?
Any reply/email will be greatly appreciated!
keep up the good blog!
British HK Girl
Hi British HK Girl, Thanks so much for the comment, and for reading! I’ll send you an e-mail to follow up.
Hi Jocelyn. I felt obliged to drop you a line and just let you know how much I am enjoying your blog, which I happened to stumble upon one day. (I actually keep getting updates and coming to read it around 5:30 p.m., which is supposed to be the time I get off work, and I always end up staying 10 or 20 minutes late to finish reading your posts and all the comments!)
Although I do not have a Chinese partner (my boyfriend is a blue-eyed, blonde-haired American, though I might call him a wannabe-Chinese based on his fascination with everything China!), I still find your posts incredibly relevant for dealing with many of the perplexing scenarios Chinese culture can confront us with. And as an editor, I can attest that your writing style is very good, which always makes reading a blog much easier for me!
When you come back to China, I’d love to get in touch as fellow media professionals (if I am still here). Anyway, best of luck to you and your husband. I look forward to following your chronicles.
Hi Brittany, your comment really brought a huge smile to my face! Wow, I am so touched that you like my writing, and even stick around the office after hours just to catch up.
Thanks for the offer to introduce me to media professionals in China! I’ll probably be visiting China next summer in 2011, so hopefully if you’re still there, I’ll just have to take you up on your offer.
Hi Jocelyn,
I just found your blog yesterday and I’m so happy I did. About 13 months ago, I met my wonderful husband. We got married 7 months ago, and are looking forward to my first trip to China this December. My in-laws are having a Chinese wedding for us within days of our 1-year anniversary. We are also visiting Shangai and Beijing. We are so excited!
It seems that you and I have a lot in common- in the few posts I have read I noted that you are vegan – I was vegan and tend toward that diet most days but am now vegetarian. We also seem to be about the same age and both come from Cleveland, OH.
I have been using the Pimsleur Mandarin Chinese CD’s which have been extremely helpful-it sounds like you learned Chinese on the ground through immersion, but are there any materials that have been extremely helpful to you?
I am really enjoying reading your blog to learn more about China and what to expect when I visit in December. THANK YOU so much for pouring your heart out in your blog. I am enjoying every word.
-Laura
Hi Laura,
I was so touched to find your comment, and if I wasn’t so exhausted from heat and a recent project, I would have written much sooner. Thanks so much for your kind words.
I can’t get over the similarity between us — vegan, from Cleveland, both married to Chinese, and about the same age. Wow!
I never used Pimsleur, but I’ve heard rave reviews about it from friends, in particular a business associate who has used it to supplement his tutoring sessions.
I actually started out with Conversational Chinese 301 (汉语会话301句) by Beijing Language and Culture University and studied with a private tutor (who made makeshift tapes of the conversations in the book, since I didn’t have the book’s tapes). It’s a great book if you’ve never studied much of any Chinese and need to get around the country fast — but I’m sure Pimsleur is much, much better.
I also learned a lot through some non-traditional study aids — Chinese TV love dramas (yes, admittedly, I was a Meteor Garden fan), karaoke-style video discs w/ subtitles (Jay Chou was one of my favorites). Once you get a foundation in the language, methods like these make learning fun, and keep you going.
Good luck with your wedding — that will be an adventure to remember!
Yours,
Jocelyn
I like this blog! amazed to know that you know so much about China!
I am a Chinese who is learning English now,i hope more people can learn about China from your articles.