7 Weird Search Terms on Love & Dating in China (and More) that Will Never Become Featured Questions

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(photo by Mike Licht, NotionsCapital.com)

Some people ask the darndest things.

While checking my site analytics the other day, I noticed some incredibly weird questions that brought visitors to my site. Let me tell you, some of these search strings read like a bizarre Ask the Yangxifu question from an alternate universe. And that gave me an idea…

So, in the spirit of having a little fun with this column, I thought I’d share seven of these weird questions. Of course, they’ll never end up in a real Ask the Yangxifu column. But hey, they might just make you go “Hmmmm”, “Whoa!” or just give you a laugh before your weekend comes. 😉

P.S.: As always, if you have a real Ask the Yangxifu question, you’re welcome to send it on to me! I can even answer you off the blog and keep things confidential. See my Ask the Yangxifu page for details.

1.

why do china gal divorce their husband and go overseas to married than divorce and return to their family in china

There’s a potentially tragic personal story behind this search string, but given how the asker referred to her as “china gal” (which sounds a lot like a female version of that offensive term “chinaman”), I think I’d rather not know.

2.

how do i find out if my chinese wife divorced me in china 

Whoa. If you’re not sure about your marital status in China, you should not be asking a yangxifu about this. Try asking a divorce lawyer in China some questions. Like, now.

3.

why do chinese people keep having babies

Hmmm, I guess you missed that health class in middle school where they talked about, you know, sex.

4. 

what's an asian guys favorite sex position

So, because a guy is Asian, he must have a certain favorite sex position, like all Asian men? Would you be asking about “what’s a white guy’s favorite sex position”? No? Exactly.

5. 

which chinese race of women are most likely to tolerate infidelity

Uh, I think you’re a little confused about ethnicity and race. And, for that matter, women, relationships and, you know, basic human morals.

6. 

what is it like to have sex with an asian guy

Because, of course, it must be so wildly different from all the other non-Asian guys you slept with. [insert sarcastic look]

7.

how western men unknowingly insult women in china

File this one under “search terms with a crazy story behind them I’m dying to know”.

Have you ever encountered weird search questions about love, dating or relationships in China or Asia? Share them in the comments!

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25 thoughts on “7 Weird Search Terms on Love & Dating in China (and More) that Will Never Become Featured Questions

  • April 11, 2014 at 9:26 am
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    What perfect way to start off my Friday morning – coffee and some humor!! I am not sure which made me laugh more – the questions posed or your commentary!!

    I would love to know the answer to #7 as well. I could write a whole article about how Taiwanese men unknowingly insult western women but I’ll leave that for another time.

    I recently had a search term ‘Taiwan man Canada woman good in bed?’ I am not entirely sure why my blog popped up and I am damn sure they didn’t find any info about that topic on my blog!!

    Happy Friday, Jocelyn! Have a great weekend!!

    Reply
    • April 11, 2014 at 1:14 pm
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      I copy-paste the most ridiculous search terms and try to look how in hell someone could make it to my blog. Try it too! 🙂

      Reply
    • April 12, 2014 at 8:20 pm
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      Hi Constance, I’m glad you enjoyed the post!

      Whoa, that is a bizarre search term — who would look for that? Well, as my husband reminds me, “In a big forest, you’ll find all kinds of birds.” (林子大什么鸟都有).

      Happy weekend to you too!

      Reply
  • April 11, 2014 at 9:33 am
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    Ha, ha, ha… Really funny and weirdly revealing in a way. But so, oh so confounding to boot! Interesting what people ask. I think they are as confused as we are. Had a good laugh! Made my day!

    Reply
    • April 12, 2014 at 8:21 pm
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      So glad to give you a good laugh, ordinary malaysian! It is fascinating what people ask. 😉

      Reply
  • April 11, 2014 at 12:43 pm
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    Hahahaha. I LOVE going through search terms every week. It’s just like… but… what???

    Yours are hilarious. Thanks for sharing (as always).

    Reply
  • April 11, 2014 at 12:52 pm
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    I died 🙂 I cannot believe someone would ask that kind of questions 🙂 I luckily did not get any question like that (besides the mighty ‘penis size’ ones) but I often laugh seeing some of the search terms used to get to my blog. My favorite are (copy-paste):
    is it ok for men to look at naked women while married
    wilf tide up and mad to watch wall husband is being raped by to guy
    to find rich husband from hong kong (!)
    and last but not least
    image for ken chan penis – to make it even more funny I know a guy named like that … O.O

    Reply
    • April 12, 2014 at 8:23 pm
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      Oh those search terms are just so bizarre and hilarious! Love it! And again, you have to wonder about who is searching for them…my, my!

      Reply
  • April 11, 2014 at 8:47 pm
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    Most Kra-Dai (related to Thai) ethnic groups are traditionally openly promiscuous. There’s a reason why Thailand resembles a giant brothel.

    Reply
  • April 11, 2014 at 8:51 pm
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    Hahaha, I also love looking at my blog stats and seeing how people arrived there. But it seems because of some new privacy law, google does not show any more the terms people searched, so lately I get a lot of “unknown search terms” as a result 🙁

    I think the weirdest one I got was “picture of the most disgusting teeth”. It was on my Spanish blog and I don’t think I have posted anything like that hahaha.

    Reply
    • April 12, 2014 at 8:30 pm
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      That is a weird term! And who would want to see disgusting teeth! Ugh!

      I hadn’t heard anything about that new privacy law from Google. At least, if there is one, it doesn’t mean that I see no search terms. I do see the (not provided) in my analytics (and there are a lot of (not provided) results) but it also shows me quite a few search terms. I’m using Google Analytics myself, is that what you’re using?

      Reply
      • April 13, 2014 at 6:36 pm
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        I don’t know what I’m using… whatever it is that WordPress uses by default! I’m a lousy webmaster 😀

        Reply
  • April 11, 2014 at 8:58 pm
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    Looking up your statistics sounds like fun. I get a lot of “where can I find prostitutes in Shenzhen” and “what does saying good night in a text message mean” (I get a few different versions of this one daily – I once had an article about a guy messaging me good night every day for 2 weeks). So mine are a lot less fun!

    Reply
    • April 12, 2014 at 8:36 pm
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      It is fun!

      Oh, yeah, “find prostitutes” keywords, gotta love those! 😉

      Interesting that so many people search on that “text message” term, though in a way it doesn’t surprise me. My Ask the Yangxifu mailbag often has questions sort of like that (e.g., he or she did this or that, what does it mean?), which are of course super-tough to answer without actually being there or seeing what happened or even knowing the people!

      Reply
  • April 12, 2014 at 3:30 am
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    My question: How did Mike Licht come up with that cool image? And how did you find it? It’s so perfect.

    Great (funny) post! I’ll have to start collecting funny search terms. What a hobby!

    Reply
    • April 12, 2014 at 8:37 pm
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      It is a cool image! I found it on Flickr.com and couldn’t imagine a better image to go with this post!

      Yeah, collecting funny search terms is good for laughs for sure!

      Reply
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  • April 14, 2014 at 12:48 pm
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    Wow, crazy and yeah, I’m tempted to make up stories about these people too 😀

    Reply
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  • March 7, 2015 at 7:08 pm
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    will you believe some comments were posted by some network agents。

    Reply

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