I am dating a Chinese man who has lived in North America for years. He is quite westernized in his daily life, so it’s difficult for me to ascertain which issues may be cultural and which aren’t. We’ve been dating six months, and it got serious quite quickly. His parents are just in for three weeks now, and i’ve met them and spent quite a bit if time with them while they’ve been here. My boyfriend, however, seems to be acting strange. His parents appear to like me a lot, but could his strange behavior ( less texting/phone/ verbal affection ) be an indication that they’ve mentioned to him otherwise?? When I’ve spoken to him about it he gets quite stiff says I’m overreacting and shouldn’t question his feelings ( his general attitude hahaha) but the difference these last couple weeks is notable… Sigh…
Reminds me of what happens when my Chinese husband and I visit his parents in China.
The moment we step through the doorway, he turns the affection and flirtations down a HUGE notch, and we have to take our sex life upstairs, and pack it away in the bedroom (with the door firmly closed, of course). Outside of that little corner of the house, we exist in this wholesome world of innocence, where no one holds hands, kisses, or leaves their condoms out accidentally.
Most Chinese families show love indirectly, and that includes love between everyone from husbands and wives, all the way down to boyfriends and girlfriends. So it’s no wonder your Chinese boyfriend isn’t spilling over with romance, like usual — now that the parents are back, he’s just trying be more like the kind of son they’re used to. Unfortunately, that just means you’ll have to deal with a little less outward affection while the family is in town.
I wouldn’t worry about it, because it doesn’t mean he loves you any less, or is any less interested in you.
After all, when I get my own Chinese husband behind closed doors in his parents house, it’s like entering another dimension. We hold hands, kiss, and don’t care if that condom box is lying beside the bed. 😉
At least, until his mom comes shouting up the stairwell.
What do you think?
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