How Chinese Men Can Meet Western Women in America | Speaking of China

16 Responses

  1. Grace
    Grace November 26, 2010 at 8:49 am | | Reply

    And be very careful..if DHS or DOS finds out who you are, you will have a very difficult time getting a visa to the US.

  2. Li Lan
    Li Lan November 26, 2010 at 1:30 pm | | Reply

    If you are into fitness, check into local wushu, kungfu, and taiji classes. If you are willing to use your weekend time for teaching, check into the local Confucius Institute for opportunities to teach a class. If you are into religion – Buddhist, Catholic, etc – look for a congregation of your choice. Some have Chinese services. If you are able to do this, try to live in an urban area that tends to be very international and very educated – examples in Texas are Austin and Houston, in Illinois they would be Chicago and Urbana. I assure you there are indeed Western women in the US looking for Chinese guys. Some just know a little bit of Mandarin and some are near native speakers to the point they are actually teaching the language in a high school or even college.

  3. lifebehindthewall
    lifebehindthewall November 26, 2010 at 10:06 pm | | Reply

    You know there are many groups on facebook that have many western women looking for Chinese men. You have to just open your mind a little and not be shy. Also, there are other sites that are better than match.com… look into interracial sites or Asian sites you would be surprised. the one thing is not to give up… we are out there and we are searching too…. good luck..

  4. Beth
    Beth November 27, 2010 at 5:44 pm | | Reply

    Sometimes girls in the west just don’t know they like Asian guys so feel free to approach anybody. I never would have known until my Chinese ex. asked me out (but we worked together, so work is a good place too), but don’t be shy and go for it! Try talking to lots of girls, and if you expect a ‘no’ then you don’t get disappointed and will be surprised when she says ‘yes’. 😉

  5. Ayeshter
    Ayeshter November 27, 2010 at 6:10 pm | | Reply

    I for one am a young western girl who is crazy for Chinese men! I also know of more than a few like minded women. So don’t worry, we are out there! You just have to come find us!

    So, what are some tips……..?

    To repeat what the last post said, don’t be shy! If your friendly and approachable, you will get noticed! Many of us are just waiting of a nice, friendly Chinese man to “by chance” start up a conversation after class/work or while waiting for the bus!

    Another idea is think of a hobby or cause that you are sincerely interested in, like photography or animal rights or something, then find an interest group. If you choose anything artistic or socially conscience, there is no doubt in my mind there will be many girls for you to talk to. Furthermore, many of these women will probably be interested in hearing about your experiences living in both China and wherever you are now and will want to hear your stories. But, it crucial that this is something your actually interested in, and not only about meeting girls. The idea is to share a common interest and passion. Check out what the nearest University or even the city has to offer.

    The kung fu idea is very good too. I know it’s stereotypical, but believe me, even if your not really into these sports per se, try to befriend a kung fu/wushu/taiji teacher and maybe offer to help them out with cleaning up or something. Case in point: my two friends really want to meet a Korean guy. The very first thing they did was take Ti Kwon Do. My friend then told her teacher that she really wanted to meet a Korean guy. Within a week, an eligible Korean bachelor suddenly started attending there class!

    And of coarse, talk to your friends. Tell them what your looking for and I’m sure they will keep an eye open for you! Even talk to some Chinese female friends and see if they know any western girls who have expressed interest in Chinese culture and men.

    Just stay positive and confident!

  6. Li Lan
    Li Lan November 27, 2010 at 6:32 pm | | Reply

    >>>My friend then told her teacher that she really wanted to meet a Korean guy. Within a week, an eligible Korean bachelor suddenly started attending there class! <<<

    Wow that's incredible. I wish an eligible Chinese bachelor would suddenly start attending my wushu class. Guess I need to tell shifu.

  7. Bruce
    Bruce November 30, 2010 at 7:11 pm | | Reply

    Li Lan ,

    I’m going to attend your Wushu Class soon *hint hint* :).
    I’m 6’1″ 195lbs muscular Chinese Man. My interests are body building , basketball ,etc. I like to collect lots of things.

  8. Bo
    Bo November 30, 2010 at 7:31 pm | | Reply

    >>>Some of these groups “live” at your university — like the International Affairs Council I mentioned above. Others thrive in the larger community, such as the Cleveland Council on World Affairs.<<<
    Jocelyn, I looked this up and found out that the World Affairs Council of Philadelphia is supported by my company, WOW! I wish I can take advantages of it, but I still have many doubts.

    It is one thing to say that you'll end up having Three Strikes and You're Out on Match.com. It is another thing to say that you can touchdown in another match! What if you grew up in China and you never took any "kung fu/wushu/taiji" lessons (because you are not interested in them), but you develop "enthusiasm" in those activities when you are here in America(because you just want to meet Western women), isn't it too "goal-oriented"? What if the Western woman you met is really into "Bodhidharma", "zen meditation" and ""kung fu/wushu/taiji", but you actually love God, Bible and football games.

    So the question is, what characters (of Western women)do you really appreciate? To me, it's not how fluent she can speak Mandarin, or how much she is crazy for Chinese men. But how much she likes me as a unique individual and life partner, and because of that, she does not care about whether I am a Chinese or not.

  9. Hanho
    Hanho December 1, 2010 at 3:30 pm | | Reply

    LOL,you can almost read our mind about common dating frustration for Chinese men,or Asian men in general.

    Yes,the stereo type and main stream media’s strong bias have also done plenty of demange to our dating life.

    HH

  10. Hanho
    Hanho December 1, 2010 at 10:16 pm | | Reply

    Well,this brings me to the next point.

    We can get frustrated, blaming on negative stereo image,media’s bias and taking all those negative factors personally. Or,we can do what Lifebehindthewall have just mentioned. Breaking off negative stereo type with confident and great inner strength.

    Hanho

  11. Bo
    Bo December 2, 2010 at 9:34 am | | Reply

    >>LOL, maybe someday a couple might get together after leaving comments on this blog! (P.S.: If anyone ever does, don’t forget to invite me to the wedding…)<<

    Jocelyn, , isn't it the most wonderful part of being a blog matchmaker!

  12. Peter
    Peter October 24, 2013 at 3:43 am | | Reply

    The headline suggests it’s about America but it’s only about the US….

  13. askdsk
    askdsk October 24, 2013 at 6:12 pm | | Reply

    The most important thing is confidence and open attitude. You might be a wonderful person, but a relationship with someone from a different background is challenging, added layer of challenge. There is no need to blame others for not trying. Women need to be wooed, or left alone.
    I think Jocelyn’s advices are also conservative. It resonates her own experiences. Remember you are surrounded by those women you are interested in. Be who you are and be interested in other people’ lives. Learn social rules because they are different in US. If you are a good communicator, almost a must for a good relationship, you are good to go.

    The hardest thing is to be who you are. If you want someone to be interested and attracted to you, be very comfortable of your own skin. Practice with common social skills. Keep a positive attitude for your own happiness. Don’t limit yourself only to one place and one type of person.

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