Ask the Yangxifu: Help a Western Woman in Shanghai Meet Chinese Men | Speaking of China

56 Responses

  1. thewhiffenpoof
    thewhiffenpoof September 20, 2013 at 7:56 am | | Reply

    “Don’t make the meetings like blind dates. It could be just a group of friends going out for a drink or going to sing at KTV or having a house party. So the guy you meet through a friend is like someone with a reference or recommendation, more reliable than the random guy you bumped into at the bar.”

    This sounds like superstition to me. What, bad guys don’t have friends? Yes they do. I find it doubtful that meeting men through friends is any more reliable as a measure of their good character than meeting them as strangers.

    1. Loving Korean
      Loving Korean September 20, 2013 at 1:41 pm | | Reply

      It’s no guarantee of a good character, but it is a guarantee that he’s not a criminal or a con artist.

  2. Lina
    Lina September 20, 2013 at 9:23 am | | Reply

    How about exchanging some e-mails with a man looking for a white girlfriend few posts ago? 🙂

  3. ordinary malaysian
    ordinary malaysian September 20, 2013 at 10:30 am | | Reply

    On the contrary, the advice to meet in a group with friends makes good sense to me. If that is superstition, it sounds like a good one to fall for. That of course does not mean that bad guys (or for that matter bad gals) don’t have friends. Nor does it mean that meeting through mutual friends guarantees compatibility and/or character.

  4. Bruce
    Bruce September 20, 2013 at 11:57 am | | Reply

    Jocelyn,

    Of course, there is no guarantee even though there’s a Chinese man in front of you. There has to be some compatibilities going on ,too. Yes, I do agree that most Chinese men are looking for stabled, long term relationship and we do stay married for a long long time.

    Yes as Chinese men , you guys should open up and don’t be shy. I know what I’m talking about because I got hit on by several Caucasian women. It’s possible! We get married very young though but I’m sure there are still lots of nice Chinese men out there.

  5. Bruce
    Bruce September 20, 2013 at 12:40 pm | | Reply

    Finding love is not like finding a gf to kill time/boredom!! The chance of meeting the right person is much higher when friends introduce you because they know about that person already. I told you guys last yr that over a decade ago, friends introduced me to a woman ( white) ;however, it didn’t work out due to our personalities. She was the calm type and I was the opposite . Timing plays a big part in meeting the right person ,too. For example, you are perfect for her and everything is just perfect except for your job etc. If you pursue her at that moment, then your future will have a different ending. In the past, I was the perfect match for lots of women I knew but timing broke us apart.

  6. Sveta
    Sveta September 20, 2013 at 6:12 pm | | Reply

    Can’t come up with anything because I dont’ live in Shanghai, but I do wish you best of luck

  7. Blossom
    Blossom September 20, 2013 at 7:07 pm | | Reply

    I don’t live in Shanghai (unfortunately) but I think this advice can be applied to anywhere in the modern world. Follow what it is that interests you and use the power of the internet to find out what’s going on locally. If you are interested in art, for example, you could check out what exhibition openings are happening and get yourself along to them.. Maybe even solo! Anything at all (cooking, photography, kite flying) might be a great way to meet someone interesting and fun. You could end up establishing some great friendships with Chinese women in the process who have a few single guys in their network of friends. Being intoduced via a friend of course acts as a great filter, but just remember there are other options. So jealous of you living my dream!! 🙂 Get out there and have some fun!

  8. M
    M September 20, 2013 at 10:18 pm | | Reply

    Hi all!
    Thanks for all replies. As for circle of friends, yea I know it’s good idea, all my friends are informed that I’m looking for a bf ;p I met my previous date thru friends as well, however he was not serious about relationship..

    As for going out, I do, I’m very social person and I have plenty of friends, whenever there is something interesting going on, I make sure to attend. I have my weekly routine as well, quiz nights, pool nights and such. The thing is there are too many events in Sh, so it’s not possible to be on every, lol. Also Im thinking that chinese are not interested in those maybe, where do they hang out with friends? If it’s only KTVs they go to, I guess I have no chance to meet them

    I have tried internet dating websites, but it just doesn’t work for me as the personality is very important and you cannot get it from the picture. Also most men are looking for fun there rather than relationship.

    I just think Im not that lucky maybe.

    1. Wei Cao
      Wei Cao October 26, 2013 at 7:08 pm | | Reply

      Most Chinese man are looking for a Western women just for fun, I came from Shanghai and now lives in Austria. I had a relationship with a blond girl for 5 years, at beginning we had so many different opinion about things. I knew it is not easy for Western women with Chinese man because the culture difference. We needed a lot of time to discuss how to respect each other. Well, we did not continue because the character difference, we understood the culture pretty well.
      I hope that I could help you to find a Chinese man, if you need. By the way, which city in China do you live?

    2. Wei Cao
      Wei Cao October 26, 2013 at 7:20 pm | | Reply

      Sorry, you are living in Shanfhai too:) I mix the thema and your reply.

  9. HAMLover
    HAMLover September 21, 2013 at 12:47 am | | Reply

    Hi

    How about advertising for language exchange? They should be Chinese then & interested in other cultures 🙂 I know people who started dating this way.

  10. thewhiffenpoof
    thewhiffenpoof September 21, 2013 at 6:16 am | | Reply

    “It’s no guarantee of a good character, but it is a guarantee that he’s not a criminal or a con artist.”

    What, criminals and con artists don’t have friends? They probably have more than average.

    How I understood the quote was that it’s advice to *meet through* friends. Of course it’s good idea to meet *with* other friends. That common sense good advice. but you can meet through someone (introductions) but not necessarily meet with friends which is how I understood the quote.

    1. R Zhao
      R Zhao September 21, 2013 at 8:02 am | | Reply

      I’d be willing to bet most criminals hang out with other criminals, so I don’t really understand this argument?

      Your friends know you, have an idea of what sort of person you are interested in, and have your best interests at heart. They are more likely to introduce you to and hang out with like-minded people that have some similar interests as you.

      I personally think that blind dates and internet dating can be successful. I know some people who have met and gotten married that met this way. I think that maybe the point is that meeting through friends can be safer and more fun. There is usually less pressure in a group setting. You also may have the opportunity to meet a variety of people.

      As for me, I met my Chinese husband at the gym. I never expected that to happen but it was a good place to meet because we had something in common and I could tell he cared a lot about taking care of himself and was really disciplined. That definitely scored him some points. 🙂

      1. Loving Korean
        Loving Korean September 22, 2013 at 3:37 pm | | Reply

        Yeah, I met my Korean boyfriend online and we have been in a happy relationship for 3 years.

        We didn’t meet on a dating site, though, so we started out as friends. That made things less awkward and gave us more time to get to know each other before meeting face-to-face.

  11. ruby
    ruby September 21, 2013 at 8:39 am | | Reply

    From my exp. (in Beijing) Chinese guys you meet at bars are generally just looking to hook up & think western girls are open to casual sex, but of course there are exceptions to this.

    Personally I’d recommend telling Chinese friends you are looking and let them introduce you to single guys they know. It’s no guarantee he wont be a criminal, but friends will only introduce you to people they believe are seriously looking for a relationship and are worthy of being with you.

  12. Someone
    Someone September 21, 2013 at 5:51 pm | | Reply

    You’re totally doing it wrong. There are guys everywhere. Are you making yourself open to approach (or even approaching them)? Going out and going buck wild at parties is not exactly (in the mind of your average Chinese guy) conducive to long-term relationship forming. Another thing is location. If you keep going to western-style socials, how do you expect to find many Chinese guys there? Let your Chinese friends take you to where they go to hang out.

    Luck has almost nothing to do with it. Dating is a numbers game. Just meet enough men of the caliber and type you’re looking for.

    1. M
      M September 21, 2013 at 10:48 pm | | Reply

      “Are you making yourself open to approach (or even approaching them)?” Not sure if I got you point, so shoul I make myself open to approach/ approaching guys? As far as I know chinese guys don’t like to be approached. Am I correct? So to answer your question, yes Im making myself open to approach, and no, I don’t approach guys myself.

  13. thewhiffenpoof
    thewhiffenpoof September 22, 2013 at 5:48 am | | Reply

    “I’d be willing to bet most criminals hang out with other criminals, so I don’t really understand this argument?”

    No, you don’t understand it. It’s ridiculous to say that criminals only have criminal friends. Where is your evidence of this? I’m willing to bet that most criminals has mostly if not all non criminal friends. Criminals have friends who are regular people. Obviously most criminals don’t go around telling other’s that they are criminals. They have family, friends, etc who may or may not know they are criminals. Even if they only have criminal friends it doesn’t follow that none of YOUR friends (you may be a criminal too). But additionally, just because you are not a criminal doesn’t mean you aren’t a bad person. There are lots of people who don’t break laws but who are bad people whom you don’t want to be associated with.

    Anyway, it’s clear after rereading the quote that the person was talking about introductions through “references” and “recommendations” (in their own words) and not group dates. Psychopaths and those with similar personality types are often very good at deceiving people into thinking they are ordinary and charming people. That’s what makes them so good at hurting others. Why do you think people are always saying “I’d never thought it would be him!” after some incident involving psychopaths?

  14. ordinary malaysian
    ordinary malaysian September 22, 2013 at 7:42 am | | Reply

    It is funny how the discussion has veered to criminals. Nobody was talking about criminals. Yes, you can meet criminals through friends too. There was the suggestion to meet the someone you are looking for through a mutual friend or recommendation, and therefore not a “blind date” thing. Go on a group date. Whether the group of friends are the friends of the recommender or your own group of friends or of both, is that the issue? I think it is not profitable to go into semantics or arguments about whether criminals have friends or not or whether they are “regular guys” just like you and I except and…Someone just wants help in getting to find a Chinese boyfriend/partner. The least we can do, if we can be of help, is to suggest what we think will best help her in the circumstances of her case and not going in a tangent.

    1. thewhiffenpoof
      thewhiffenpoof September 25, 2013 at 5:19 am | | Reply

      I don’t know what you are getting at. You seem to have confused me with someone else or totally misunderstood what I have said (I thought English was one of the official languages of Malaysia?). All I said at the beginning was that it seems that it is superstitious to me that meeting guys through friends’ recommendations is any more reliable a guide for a good character than meeting men through other means. Then all this talk started about criminals and them supposedly not having non criminal friends and you start talking about “semantics” and “group dates”. Let’s stick to the topic and not get bogged down with confused issues. This is about how she can meet single guys.

      1. ordinary malaysian
        ordinary malaysian September 29, 2013 at 7:32 pm | | Reply

        @thewhiffenpoof, so you didn’t start with the criminals thing? Good for you. Did I mention your name? As far as you were concerned, I only said if it was a superstition, it was a good one to fall for. English has nothing to do with M’s problem here. And you seem so ill informed about the official language in Malaysia. Perhaps you should ask Lee Kuan Yew about English as one of the four official languages in the Lion city.. But the language in this blog, I guess, is love – not English? Although, of course, English is used to expressed it.

        1. thewhiffenpoof
          thewhiffenpoof October 2, 2013 at 5:35 am | | Reply

          Umm, no, the criminals reference was someone else. See above posts. Did I mention your name? You said that meeting in groups was a “good superstition” but the original post and my comments about it were about meeting people through references and recommendations, not group dates. So again, you seem to be confused by my usage of the basic English language. English is the first language of most Malaysians so I’m a little surprised that you misunderstood so much about my posts and the original comments it was related to.

          1. ordinary malaysian
            ordinary malaysian July 17, 2014 at 12:47 am |

            Haha.. English the first language of Malaysians! Wow, that news, man. I won’t touch on the rest of your reply, though. Not because you are right, but really no point dwelling on diversionary assertions.

  15. Chen Yong
    Chen Yong September 22, 2013 at 9:14 am | | Reply

    The point is that what type of chinese guys you are looking for… 1. white collar class with manner , also can speak bit of English, 2. bule collar class, hard working tranditional type who may not speak English at all, 3. younger amateur students type, who could be nerdy, and wondering that having an nonchinese (russian pretty blonde) in their day dreams, or migrant wokers who are bunch or group of poor farmers who seeking jobs that could do whatever … randomly meeting in street everywhere, somking and spitting without manners at all. or sme creepy CHinese retarded guys, who are rude, and gross… ….. since No 1. is perhelps is your options, but it could be ending up with possibilities of No2…… which could bring u a nightmare. so narrow down that, first of all this “cute white lady” should get to know some Chinese guys are healthy, and physical attractive guy who have stable earning power also have manner and certian style, who should also have experience of living or studying in oversea ,quite fluent at English , most importantly this guy should be single, and have strong interest to Western women, for this matter, I suggest that this lady should target the certin few indusrty in China, which provide such mixed working enviroments would be good, More practically someone should put the guys contact info on here, and Let “she” choose which one is fit for her situation.

  16. sophie
    sophie September 22, 2013 at 4:36 pm | | Reply

    hello, If you want to meet chinese guys – should try wechat (wexcin) – chinese app for your phone- might be some weirdos but then there are some great guys on there that is how i found my wonderful chinese boyfriend. or best meet him through a friend, or go where there are chinese guys and not foreigners. Just be open with them and they would want to date you cause your foreign.. you might find the one.

    Hope this helps

    Regards
    Sophie

  17. Someone
    Someone September 22, 2013 at 11:07 pm | | Reply

    Well I disagree about Chinese guys not liking being approached. I think they’re not used to it, but it’s definitely welcomed. Give it a try and you may be surprised.

    I wonder what techniques you’re using to show that you’re “open” to being approached? Try doing that and approaching some guys at the same time. It’s the 21st century. Women can take their happiness into their own hands. No point waiting around for a guy to wise up and ask you out.

  18. Bree
    Bree September 23, 2013 at 11:20 am | | Reply

    I’m a 30 yr old American woman in Beijing. It is tougher at this age. I get asked out a lot, but usually by younger guys. I’m guessing they don’t realize I’m older, but no one has run away yet when they’ve learned the truth 😛

    Personally, I’m not too interested in dating someone who is 23. But if you are, you will probably have a better chance. Sure, there ARE older single Chinese guys out there… but I work in a fairly large Chinese company and off the top of my head I can’t think of any single male coworkers over about 26.

    I am not trying to be to negative, just commiserating. Good luck!

  19. Fred
    Fred September 23, 2013 at 5:10 pm | | Reply

    Hi M. I am sorry to read about your plight and your dating difficulties. I certainly can relate to it as finding the right person is not easy. But do you want to know some pick-up methods that we “bad ass” California boys use to pique the girl’s interest? Well, here it is……. and it is called the “direct/indirect approach.” And I have used this method in the past with a fair amount of success (though not 100%).

    The normal mundane questions people ask each other upon the first meeting are usually: 1) where are you from? 2) what do you do for a living? 3) why or what are you doing here? You must not immediately answer them. The “bad ass” California boy does not answer these questions directly so fast but he will try pique the female’s interest. Here is what I did in the past. After conversing with a girl for one or two minutes:

    1) The girl eventually asked me: “so, where are you from?” The Bad Ass California boy (ie me) said: “take a guess, girl?” She said perhaps: “I don’t know…. but I am guessing from San Francisco.” I said: “Wrong. I will give you a hint. I am from the wild, wild west.” She then smiled and said: “Wild, wild west? Where is that?” I then said: “California, and this is where the wild, wild west is located.” As you can see, do not immediately and directly answer the question but make her ask the question in order to extend the conversation and make it somewhat fun for her.

    2) The girl eventually asked: “So, what do you do for a living?” I answered: “Take a guess.” She said: “I don’t know.” I said: “Take a guess and if you guess wrong, then I will give you a hint.” She then said: “You must be an engineer or a businessman.” I then said to her: “Wrong. Are you ready for your hint?” She said: “yes.” So, I said: “the hint is that I am a licensed thief.” She exclaimed: “What! A licensed thief? What is that?” Then I told her: “I am a lawyer and lawyers are licensed to steal and so now you owe me $100 for talking to me as I charge an exorbitant rate for consultation.”

    3) The girl then asked: “What are you doing here or why are you here?” I said: “Take a guess.” etc. etc. Repeat the same pattern as above.

    As you can see the pattern is such that you must not immediately answer the question and make her ask in order to extend the conversation but at the same time make the contact fun for her. This is how you can pique the interest in the girl. So, Ms. M., you an use this method to ensnarl your Chinese man also.

    Do you still want to learn more? I can teach you how to get his telephone number using the “pressure cooker” technique that we “bad ass” California boys use to get the girl’s tele #. Just let me know by dropping me a line here and I will tell you about the “pressure cooker” method. I had very good success rate at getting the girl’s telephone number using it. Take care.

    Happy hunting.

    Fred (bad ass California boy)

  20. Blossom
    Blossom September 23, 2013 at 7:50 pm | | Reply

    Sorry Fred, but with the first “take a guess” I would’ve walked away. It all sounds like such hard work, and definitely not my idea of fun. To me it just sounds very cliched, immature and superficial.

  21. Mary
    Mary September 23, 2013 at 8:40 pm | | Reply

    Fred, your post cracked me up. But I agree with Blossom–that conversation would tire me out.

    I think Bree is dead on about being hard pressed to find a single Chinese man over 26. In China, if a man is single and over 25 then everyone assumes something is wrong with him–and that probably is the close. Right out of university at 22 Chinese men are on the prowl to get married and usually they want to marry girlfriend #1 (they don’t like to test the waters or casually date like westerners). So. Yeah.

    I don’t recommend bars or clubs, because like a commentor said above, most Chinese men that go there are looking for a hookup.

    I think doing a language exchange, as someone recommended up there, is the best way. You can meet someone who is interested in learning about your culture and vice versa, and since it’s just one-on-one meetings, you have more opportunities to develop your relationship.

    You can also try joining clubs or sports activities. Badminton, pingpong, jogging, calligraphy, tea ceremony, taichi, etc.. Shanghai has a bazillion groups and events going on everyday. Try sites like meetup.com and try a Shanghai event or two.

  22. Bruce
    Bruce September 24, 2013 at 12:22 pm | | Reply

    Fred,

    Write to me at [email protected] on other pick up lines for Chinese men so I’ll be entertained :).

    Thanks,

    Bruce

  23. Fred
    Fred September 24, 2013 at 3:47 pm | | Reply

    Hi Bruce. I will write to you at your private email account to tell you additional pickup methods that I learned in life as some of the methods may not be too agreeable with the female audience above.

  24. Fred
    Fred September 24, 2013 at 4:17 pm | | Reply

    @ Blossom and Mary. You two girls laugh and dismiss this method right now but if and when you are faced with its application, you will all too often forget and let yourself be fooled. So, I will tell you girls another pickup method called “the pressure cooker.”

    @ Bruce. Here is “the pressure cooker” method:

    After you have spoken with the woman for some minutes (using the “direct/indirect” method) and you then feel the moment is right you must:

    1) put your cell phone on “silent” mode (to avoid interruptions)
    2) pick up your cell phone and look at the screen; then tell her that you have an urgent text right now and ask her to wait one moment
    3) then tell her that the urgency or emergency concerns my mom (stress the urgency with proper facial expressions and voice intonations)
    4) then say that your phone has no reception and you need to make an emergency call re: your mom and then ask to borrow her phone
    5) Most likely she will lend you her phone because you will have developed enough comfort with her after speaking to her for some 30 min or so; and then use her phone to dial your own number; your cell phone will automatically register her tele #. So now you have her tele #!!!!!!!! (remember your phone is on silent and hence she will not know that you used her phone to call yourself). Then end this call
    6) then still using her phone, call your mom or your brother or friend (or whomever) and put the call on speaker phone so that she hears your call; then ask the person on the other end: “This is Fred. Did you just text me saying there is an urgency about my mom?” The other person will say “no.” The girl will then think that you made a legitimate call with her phone to one of your family members and she will not realize that you have now acquired her tele #.

    But remember, in the mind of the girl she has not given you her tele #. So, you must then ask her for her tele # using a pen and a piece of paper. One of 3 things will happen: 1) she will give you a real number; 2) she will give you a false number; or 3) she will give you no number. If she writes down a number, you then quickly tell her that you will enter her number in your cell. At this moment quickly compare the number which she just gave you and the number on your screen. If they match, then it means she likes you enough that you can call her. If the numbers do not match (i.e. false number), then you know you will have more work to convince her. If she gave you no number, then you must convince her. But in any event, you will still have your number.

    The “pressure cooker” method is more a gauging tool to see if the girl likes you enough.

    This is how we “bad ass California” boys get the girl’s tele #. So, ladies and gents. What do you think about this clever way to get girly’s telephone number?

    Do you want to know what happens next after you have successfully completed the “direct/indirect” method and then acquired her tele # using the “pressure cooker” method?

    Fred (Bad Ass California Boy)

  25. M
    M September 25, 2013 at 6:15 am | | Reply

    Hello Fred,
    I think you’ve missed the point of this thread. My question was, if there are any single chinese men around, in their thirties, and if yes, where they would hang out, not how to pick up a girl/guy.
    Besides, I think using pick up techniques is just ridiculous. Everybody should be himself/herself. There is nothing more pathetic than a shy guy trying to be ‘cool’ by reciting pick up lines he learned by heart. Confidence is sexy and admirable, but over confidence is just jerkish. Whats more, I really believe that western women interested in asian guys DON’T expect them to behave western. It is much easier when a guy is openminded and have been to different countries, but I don’t want him to behave like someone else. If I was interested in cool bad ass califonian guys, I would have gone to Cali by now.

  26. M
    M September 25, 2013 at 6:19 am | | Reply

    By the way, preassure cooker method ?? really that is just creepy. I definitely don’t want my possible bf to be a con artist, you can simply ask for girl’s phone number. Playing games like that is a total turn off.

  27. Fred
    Fred September 25, 2013 at 3:32 pm | | Reply

    Hi Ms. M.,
    Thank you for your contribution to our forum here.

    I agree with you that relying solely and exclusively on pickup methods will get you nowhere. A woman or a man will eventually see through you and realize that you are nothing but an empty shell. What I am saying is that you can use some pickup methods to get an advantage. Once you are comfortable with the person, then you can simply be yourself and show him or her your great qualities to attract the person.

    Since you want to meet a Chinese man to explore the possibility of a relationship, I suggest that you expand your network base of friends and then spread the word that you are looking for a man. If you increase your network base and your exposure, you will definitely increase your probability of success.

    The question is how to expand this network base. Do you want to know? I will tell you if you ask.

    Good luck.

    Fred (Bad Ass California/Asian boy)

    When I met my then Brazilian hottie who later became my wife, I used some of these methods to close in on my target. Then once we had developed some type of rapport, I stopped those using those methods and simply just became myself to show her my true colors. We have now been married since 2001 and we have 2 children.

  28. Bruce
    Bruce September 25, 2013 at 4:32 pm | | Reply

    Being natural is the way to go but some women are not attracted to that. Some women want excitement and stimulation at first . Those women find “natural” unattractive. M, I can tell you that Chinese men really do want serious relationships. I personally think that in a present and past relationships, I ‘ve done more than most men. Finding Chinese men like me will be very hard but they are out there. Just don’t give up!

  29. A random Chinese guy
    A random Chinese guy September 26, 2013 at 8:47 am | | Reply

    Chairman Mao said, any type of dating or relation between male and female, without purposes of getting married are all “sexual harrassments”
    so dating Me or Chinese guys , you gotta think of serious realtionship and marriage.
    so if you are serious, I would date you right now
    ——–A random Chinese guy

  30. Fred
    Fred September 26, 2013 at 10:29 am | | Reply

    @ Random Chinese Guy. Do not listen to Chairman Mao as he and his policies were misguided and destroyed China. Few of his policies and ideas worked and were impractical. That is why Deng Xiao Ping had to spend many years to fix Mao’s mess. China is rising today because of Deng’s policies and his legacy and not Mao’s. So, when Mao said it is sexual harassment to date without the purpose to marry, it too is misguided. I agree that most Chinese people date with the intent to marry. But if they date without the purpose to marry, it does not mean it is sexual harassment, because sexual harassment is unconsensual. If 2 adults agree to date without marrying, how can it be sexual harassment?

    All the best to you, bro.

  31. Fred
    Fred September 26, 2013 at 10:46 am | | Reply

    @ M. I have to agree with Bruce that in order to attract a woman, a man must ignite a spark to captivate her interest first. Thereafter, he can be natural and show his true self to see if the woman likes him or not. Without the initial spark or stimulation, the woman may not look at him.

    So, Miss M, we are not advising you to be put up a facade or charade to ensnarl the Chinese man, but we are saying that you can use some special methods to pique his interest and stimulate him, then you can show your true self in your purest and most natural form to see if he likes you or not.

    Now do you understand, girl?

    When I had just met my then Brazilian girl, I had to use some specialized methods to attract her (ie. pickup methods) and then later I showed my natural self and she liked me. If I did not stimulate her interest or excited her during our first meeting, she may have just turned away from me.

    Good luck.

    Fred

  32. Bruce
    Bruce September 26, 2013 at 1:34 pm | | Reply

    Fred,

    Yes !!!!!!!!! You got the right idea! Getting your foot in the door first and then show your real self later. Some women won’t give you the chance to step your foot in the door that’s the problem. like red wine, takes time to enjoy sip by sip lol.

    Bruce

  33. Fred
    Fred September 26, 2013 at 6:18 pm | | Reply

    @ M. @ Bruce @ Mary and @ Blossom.

    I still have more methods up my sleeve. Do you want to know about “fishing for fruits” method? It is not sleazy or perverted.

    Fred (Bad Ass Asian/California Boy)

  34. Miriam
    Miriam September 29, 2013 at 9:23 am | | Reply

    @Fred
    Aww… Bless your sweet, bad California ass… I never heard anything so very funny for picking up girls! Dear oh dear…

  35. Fred
    Fred September 30, 2013 at 10:17 am | | Reply

    @ Mariam. I consider your words a compliment. Do you want to hear more? I can annonce the “fishing for fruits” method?
    I think girls should learn about these “bad ass California” methods so that you girls can be educated and not be vicitimzed by these tricks. Then you girls can take counter measures. Also, you girls can use them on men as well. Just drop me a line and I can tell more, as I want girls to know these methods to protect themselves.

    Fred (Bad Ass Asian/California boy).

  36. Bruce
    Bruce October 1, 2013 at 11:07 am | | Reply

    Fred,

    Keep me entertained! tell us the ” fishing for fruits” method.

  37. Fred
    Fred October 2, 2013 at 4:02 pm | | Reply

    @ Bruce. Ok, I will tell you the “fising for fruits” method soon. I will have to write it up soon and then let you know. I am wasting so much time writing here that I am afraid that I will forget my current job. But stayed tuned and when I finish writing it, I will let you know.

    Fred (Bad Ass California/Asian Boy).

  38. Bruce
    Bruce October 4, 2013 at 12:32 pm | | Reply

    Fred,

    I love it !!!!!!! You won’t forget your current job because we need balance in our lives. I’m doing many activities at one time too. See I still remember to pose in the mirror once a day 🙂 .

  39. zhongguoyemen
    zhongguoyemen November 7, 2013 at 6:01 am | | Reply

    Hi, M! If it’s ok, u may ask jocelyn for my email. i’m single living in shanghai(not local, hometown is sichuan). we can be friends or more.

  40. Cynthia
    Cynthia November 18, 2013 at 2:57 am | | Reply

    This site is great! I am an American woman in Shanghai that prefers Asian men. I am 35 and have really good luck meeting men that are close to my age or older. I have a couple of places I go to near Hengshan Lu. Also, as said have friends introduce you. I find speaking a little bit of Chinese and playing dice as an ice breaker helps. I hope this helps. I can’t help it I just have absolutely no attraction to western men.

    Cynthia

    1. Adam
      Adam January 4, 2014 at 6:47 am | | Reply

      I am Australia Chinese and happy to help anyone out on this question. I have done research on this topic for many years..100% successful rate 🙂

  41. Fred
    Fred January 7, 2014 at 8:23 am | | Reply

    Hi Cynthia,

    You are an American woman in Shanghai. Your preference for Asian men over Western men is a rarity. Is it true what Jocelyn said that WM/AF pairings far outnumber their counterpart (AM/WW) in Shanghai, PRC? What is the ratio of WM/AF to AM/WW in Shanghai? Here in Torrance, CA I see the ratio is about 7 or 8 to 1.

    I praise you highly for treating us Asian boys with some degree of dating interest as you sound like an honest and decent lady.

    All the best to you, girl!!!!!

    Fred

    1. Cynthia
      Cynthia January 7, 2014 at 1:55 pm | | Reply

      Thanks Fred! Yes Jocelyn is correct. In a city as big as Shanghai I have never seen any other AM/WW couples. I have one other WW friend in Guangdong who shares the same interest I do.

  42. Jerrimy
    Jerrimy June 29, 2014 at 10:26 pm | | Reply

    Thanks for this special topic.I just found today,though.I am happened to bes a Chinese guy,looking for Caucasian woman as soulmate.I hope I am not too late here.
    🙂

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