Ask the Yangxifu: How to Introduce Your (Western) Girlfriend to Your (Chinese) Parents

Me with my Chinese mother-in-law and Chinese grandmother-in-law
Read my article, "How to Introduce Your White Girlfriend to Your Asian Parents," on Asian Man White Woman Magazine.

Instead of my usual Q&A this Friday (nothing to do with April Fools Day, I promise!), I’m steering you over to my latest article on the Asian Man White Woman magazine. If you’re a Chinese guy who just started dating a Western girl, well, this one’s for you. It’s called How to Introduce Your White Girlfriend to Your Asian Parents — here’s a snippet:

When I first started dating John, my future Chinese husband, everything seemed as perfect as our first kiss by the lake.

We could have entire conversations with just a glance. Our chemistry was so good that, for weeks, I came to work every morning, beaming from bedroom bliss. And within weeks of getting together, we had taken two romantic dates together, and planned a third trip to Beijing.

So finally, after a little over a month together, John decided to go home and tell his Asian parents all about me. His report?

“My father said I can be friends with you, but not date you.”

Gulp. Not exactly what you’d call, uh, “perfect.”

So if you have a white girlfriend or fiancee, what do you do when your Asian family gets in the way of happily ever after?

To find out, read the full article now. If you like it, share it. And thanks!


Do you have a question about life, dating, marriage and family in China/Chinese culture (or Western culture)? Every Friday, I answer questions on my blog. Send me your question today.

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8 thoughts on “Ask the Yangxifu: How to Introduce Your (Western) Girlfriend to Your (Chinese) Parents

  • April 1, 2011 at 7:20 am

    I am fortunate to not have this problem. My husband and I got married in Key West and his mother and didi (younger brother) were there. I can’t say I can relate. What great advice, though. =o) Very good points.

  • April 1, 2011 at 7:24 am

    “I am fortunate to not have this problem. ”

    Meaning: I was accepted right away. I didn’t have to go through all that.

  • April 1, 2011 at 8:11 am

    Great! Now how do I introduce my Chinese-American boyfriend from Hawaii to my white western parents living in Atlanata!

  • April 1, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    Jocelyn, as usual you have great advice. i think the points you have mentioned should really work, and work well. It is always a pleasure to read your blog. Keep up the good work. If there should be a noticeable increase in the number of successful AMWW pairings, you surely have played a part.

  • April 3, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    Thank you for this article Jocelyn 🙂 It’s very reassuring.

  • April 8, 2011 at 11:11 am

    How come I’ve never seen you photographed with your FIL? Was he a harder nut to crack than your MIL?

    • April 12, 2011 at 11:30 pm

      Belated thanks to all for the comments!

      @Henry Yeh, no, actually my MIL was the harder nut to crack. I think it’s just a fluke that I haven’t posted up photos with the FIL — plus, probably, that, among the easy-to-find photos on my computer (I was terrible at arranging them for a long time), the ones that seem to look better happen to be with my MIL. But I should dig a little more. Surely there are some decent photos with the FIL? Next time I have a post about the parents, I’ll try to put one out there.

  • December 2, 2011 at 4:07 am

    When I married my Chinese wife, her mother, brothers and sisters liked me fom the start. Her father on the other hand refused to even meet me because he was in the Chinese army during the Korean conflict. To him, as an American, I was THE ENEMY!. But from the day I left China till the day she arrived in Texas, she her mother and siblings made it a point of telling him how nice I was. After she came to the US, they kept it up and my wife called him regularly to let him know she was happy. Finally on our next trip to China, he agreed to meet me. As a gesture of thanks, and cosulting with the wife, I bought an antique railroad gold pocket watch as a gift. He loved the gift (after seeing them in moves he watched as a child, always wanted one) and from that moment on decided I was #1 son in law.

    My advice is, just be yourself. If you are a good person, it will come through and the Chinese family will come to accept you


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