If a Chinese man tells you "love" or "love you," does it always mean what you think it does?
Confusedoverlove asks:
For some Chinese, “love” isn’t always the love you imagine.
As long as you’re navigating in a language that’s not his own, you can’t always trust he means what you think. It’s possible that he grasps the connotation of a word like “love” in Western cultures, with all of the seriousness it carries — maybe he really paid attention to his English studies. But it’s just as possible he let the “L” word slip without realizing how you would respond.
Give it time, and see if your relationship changes. It just might. But, that said, don’t let the word “love” fool you.
What advice do you have for Confusedoverlove?
Do you have a question about life, dating, marriage and family in China (or in Chinese culture)? Every Friday, I answer questions on my blog. Send me your question today.
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I’ve come to realize that it’s quite popular to say among Asian people that speak English as a second language. I think more often than not, however, they don’t quite understand the “seriousness” that goes along with the word. Depends on who taught them and how well they understand Western culture.
I wish some western girl love me!!
Urgh! Chinese guys are so frustrating! I feel you frustration because here in China they’ll never ever get around to doing anything. They’re too shy and they make you feel like a fool for even being interested!
My advice, you’re probably going to have to make a bold move like grabbing his hand or something because it’s impossible to talk about it even if they’re speaking English it’s like they’re speaking another language!
And the paradox is that when they do LOVE – they suddenly forget this word
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Im SOOOOOOOO glad I stumbled upon this. Just hours ago I had a female student send me an email wishing me a happy halloween and then signed “i love you.” I asked another teacher what I should do, and she suggested I should explain to her that in the West we reserve that for a bf/gf and close friends and family…. any other suggestions?
Any help finding a chinese gf????
I’m not playing the foreigner card either, I will never be someone’s novelty!
Thanks for the comment, Josh! I think that teacher’s advice is spot on. Use it as an opportunity to help her understand the nuances of the English language better. Obviously, do it in a way that’s sensitive, but let her know. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it because, if she is a typical Chinese girl, she wouldn’t say something so serious to her teacher.
For finding a Chinese girlfriend, check out the advice on this site.
[Comment was removed because it contained hate speech]
Jocelyn, maybe the above comment requires deletion or strike-through?! Sigh…
Blossom, thanks for the heads up! I went ahead and just censored it because of the hate speech.