The "Good Chinese Wife" Interview with Susan Blumberg-Kason | Speaking of China

30 Responses

  1. Nicki Chen
    Nicki Chen July 15, 2014 at 9:39 am | | Reply

    After reading an advance copy of “Good Chinese Wife,” Susan’s story has stayed with me. Like every story of a relationship (especially an international relationship like hers) it’s a complicated, multifaceted story. I was interested to know that the genesis of Susan’s memoir was the 67-page document she wrote for her lawyer. Thank you, Jocelyn, for starting the blog tour with your questions. I look forward to visiting other blogs in the days to come.

  2. Susan Blumberg-Kason
    Susan Blumberg-Kason July 15, 2014 at 12:00 pm | | Reply

    Thank you so much, Jocelyn, for this wonderful interview and for putting together my pre-publication date blog tour! It was great fun answering your thoughtful questions. And thank you, Nicki, for your lovely comments. I’m so honored. I can’t wait for your tour post, too!!!

  3. Laura
    Laura July 15, 2014 at 12:16 pm | | Reply

    Thanks Jocelyn for sharing this part of the story with us!
    I always remind to people that or in laws are here temporary, as our parents do. In this interview Susan praises her mother in law for spending time with her at home while Cai was out as her own parents would have done. Mothers will be mothers.

    Sometimes we need that, time to open our eyes and see that there is people in our lives that are supporting us much more than we actually realize, and when we realize is time to let it go.

    I can see how Susan has learned a very valuable lesson here, and I totally agree, is not about getting married fast or young, is about “not listening” to the red flags.

    Happy you are happy Susan!

  4. Marta
    Marta July 15, 2014 at 12:51 pm | | Reply

    It has been very interesting reading this interview! Now I have more ideas that I will add to my review on Sunday. So many great bloggers talking about the book, I’m feeling the pressure haha.
    Thanks for inviting me to be part of it!

  5. Lina
    Lina July 15, 2014 at 2:07 pm | | Reply

    After reading the book Susan became my hero, I literally got emotional reading it, including wish to punch few people in the face (I cannot write it in the review, but that’s how I felt).
    Great person, great book. And great interview 🙂

  6. chinaelevatorstories
    chinaelevatorstories July 15, 2014 at 10:13 pm | | Reply

    I enjoyed reading the interview.

    I particularly liked the last paragraph: ” If something doesn’t sit well, it doesn’t sit well and shouldn’t be tolerated. It doesn’t matter if the person is from Asia or the US or wherever.” I wrote something similar in my review of the book.

  7. Sara
    Sara July 15, 2014 at 11:18 pm | | Reply

    Thank you for the interview, it was very interesting read and gives light to many things in the book. It was especially interesting to read what Susan thought about her marriage in retrospect and and what she hopes us readers can take from the book. I won’t go into details about the book, I’ll do that in my own review on the 17th.

  8. Lolai
    Lolai July 15, 2014 at 11:42 pm | | Reply

    Great interview. Her book definitely sounds interesting. I’ll have to add it to my reading list!

  9. Charlotte
    Charlotte July 16, 2014 at 2:03 pm | | Reply

    What a nice interview; I’m excited to read the book. Hoping it will be on Kindle so I don’t have to wait for my sister to bring me a hard copy!

    1. Sara
      Sara July 17, 2014 at 12:05 pm | | Reply

      Charlotte, I saw there is going to be a Kindle edition! I love Kindle books too as that way you don’t have to wait 🙂

  10. Dan
    Dan July 16, 2014 at 11:27 pm | | Reply

    I have not read the book. If my comments feel harsh in any way, I apologize.

    I live in cross-cultural relationship, and I am the chinese partner.

    I feel constantly being “repressed” in a way that I can’t express my opinions fully. If you have learned a second language, you will know there is always more in your head
    than you can say. This feeling often leads to frustration.

    While Susan can be very articulate to tell her side of the story, I wish there is more on the husband’s side. I wish to tell mine, but I can’t manage to get it out in the right words. You see what I mean?

    By no means I am implying every marriage should last no matter what. But I start to realize it is higher price to pay on the Chinse side. It is very often the case.

    The relationship requires sacrifice from both parties. But I think people like Susan often has more choices being an American.

    In any relationship, we need to respect, love, and care for each other. From what I read, Susan accepted responsibilities for her own decisions. Maybe it was not the right decision to marry at the first place.

    But it is ok. I just wonder if the husband has to struggle as much as we (the chinese partners) have and give up in a way often not recognizable. This type of relationship is challenging.

    I think about what is the hidden cost of the relationship a lot these days.

  11. Taiwanxifu
    Taiwanxifu July 17, 2014 at 7:28 pm | | Reply

    Thank you for this honest and well-written interview. Having read the book, it was great to put some pictures to the places and people in the book — and especially to see photos of the younger Susan!

  12. David
    David July 17, 2014 at 8:54 pm | | Reply

    Another marriage that broke up was “the Downtown Diner.” We dont hear from her lately. I do not believe Susan’s marriage broke up due to racism in America. But, I am left getting a gut feeling that AMWW marriages where the couple lives in an Asian country such as Singapore or Japan or for that matter, China have a better chance of surviving than AMWW couples in the US, with Hawaii and the west coast being the exceptions. All the AMWW marriages that I know of in the south, 10 of them in Texas, three in Alabama and one in Mississippi, have broken up (I am defining Asians to include Indians from the Sub-Continent), plus you can include the Downtown Diner as well…whereas the five AMWW couples in Hawaii and three in Washington State are still together after 25 years….so I wonder aloud whether racism and pressure from society has anything to do with it…may be the Asians are more accepting of AMWW couples than whites, especially in the US South? And whites in WA and HI are more accepting than in the rest of the country?

  13. David
    David July 17, 2014 at 9:15 pm | | Reply

    However, despite unwelcome attention and violence, one AMWW couple’s marriage survived in middle America…

    http://www.amazon.com/Hapa-Girl-Memoir-May-lee-Chai/dp/159213615X

  14. Sveta
    Sveta July 20, 2014 at 5:53 am | | Reply

    Am reading the book, and so far it feels very familiar as well as relatable. 🙂 Promise to get finished by the 24th 😀

  15. Fred
    Fred August 11, 2014 at 2:51 pm | | Reply

    Hi Susan,

    If you are reading this comment, I just want you to know that I just bought your book (A Good Chinese Wife: A Love Affair With China Gone Wrong) and I am half way through. I just want to say that your book is great, but I have not yet finished reading it. My eyes are just glued to your book. You had me laughing and cheering for you when you were able to win the love of your life (Cai) and how you both romanced each other culminating into a beautiful marriage. Then I wept for you when he became so controlling and domineering, when he ignored you for days, when he left you to be with his friends and the bad Professor Yoshimoto, when he would not allow you to take a brief visit at the foreign book store, when he called you “dirty” and when he transmitted trichomoniasis to you. Damn it, Susan! How could you allow yourself to be abused like this?

    I am certain that I will have more comments after I finish reading it in the next day or two.

    Fred

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