I thought I couldn’t go wrong with the American ginseng root. My coworker Grace — a Chinese girl who doted over me like a mother, despite the fact that she was a few years younger than I — had helped me pick it out. “Her parents will love this,” said Grace as she handed the package to me. The ginseng was displayed in red and gold foil packaging with a matching bag. It was elegant and auspicious — surely the perfect gift for the parents of Mandy, my Chinese tutor who invited me to her home to spend the Chinese New Year in 2002.

But then, days after my arrival at Mandy’s house, I went with her family to visit her grandma and grandpa. There was Mandy’s mother carrying a surprisingly family ginseng package. Wow, they have the same ginseng here in her city, I thought. Until it hit me — Mandy’s mother was re-gifting my gift to her in-laws, right before my eyes. It turns out, the ginseng made them feel too old.

Ouch.

Gift giving has been a lot less painful since I married a Chinese man. I know the basics (avoid white, don’t give clocks, etc.). And I’ve bought more business gifts (think pens and bookmarks) than I’d care to write about.

But knowing what not to get doesn’t get the shopping for your Chinese family done.

So, I’d like to share how I get my shopping done — with recommendations for gifts for the Chinese family.

(NOTE: I call this a “Modest Guide” because I couldn’t begin to cover every single gift possibility — or, for that matter, every single region of China! Remember, my experience is limited to Zhejiang Province. But if I can help a fellow foreign daughter-in-law or foreign son-in-law — or one to be, or on the way — then this post was worth it.)

Any adult in your Chinese family:

Snacks: Western-style pastries, such as sweet rolls or sweet croissants, are a nice treat. Don’t bother bringing them from overseas if you’re coming in to visit; I have an easier time finding these in China than traditional Chinese pastries. Visit vendors in the food court of a major shopping center (Bread Talk is one to try), or try supermarkets such as Carrefour, Wumei and Hualian.

Most Chinese love local specialty foods (土特产) — especially if you’re visiting them after travels around China, or live in a Chinese city far from them. For example, my husband’s hometown makes a great smoked tofu, and I give this gift to people of all ages, all over China. Many come in gift boxes available in the supermarkets, or from specialty food vendors (often located in the basements of malls or shopping centers)

You can also bring local specialty foods from your country too, provided they don’t give you too many headaches with airport security. Just don’t bring them your country’s chocolate in the summer — unless you want to present them with puddles instead of presents.

Remember, if your recipient is more elderly: keep it soft. Grandma and grandpa may have a lot of love for you, but (at least for mine) not so many teeth.

For the younger set, reach for some more sophisticated — and crunchier — choices, from Starbucks products to specialty chocolates.

Chinese tea: Premium teas — especially those from outside the recipient’s hometown — make great gifts for people of all ages. They often come in gorgeous containers, with matching bags. Best place to buy is a teahouse or tea store in China, such as Tenfu’s tea or the Huangshan tea company.

Chinese Grandparents (外婆，外公，爷爷，奶奶)

Chinese traditional herbal medicines: Deep in every Chinese supermarket is an aisle almost as fascinating as a trip to the carnival. Lamb’s placenta. Spirulina. Royal jelly. Swallow spit. Nutritional wines. All packaged in boxes too beautiful to throw away — a forest scene from a scroll painting in red and gold foil; a Qing-dynasty emperor perched silently on his throne; traditional Chinese script from a classic book.

There’s nothing that says “filial” quite like these nutritious herbal medicines and supplements. Just make sure you’re choose a healthful and effective one, instead of the fake supplements my father-in-law took. Buy from a large, established supermarket such as Carrefour, Wumei or Hualian.

Multivitamins and supplements: These score high on the “filial” meter. They also usually come with names in English — helpful for any foreigner dazed and confused by Lamb’s placenta or royal jelly. You don’t even need to buy them in your home country either; Watson’s sells an excellent line of high-quality vitamins and supplements. So do many large supermarkets. Amway has some, but a more limited selection. That’s why Watson’s K-Lex line is a favorite. They have everything from a basic multivitamin to Coenzyme Q10. Another bonus of buying in China? You don’t have to write out instructions for them in English.

(Avoid): Clothing: This summer, my husband and I made the mistake of buying bright orange college T-shirts and sweatshirts for grandma and grandpa. “Why did you waste your money?” said grandma. While she usually says that when we give her any gift, we probably did waste our money on these shirts.

Seniors in China don’t wear clothing outside of the indigo-gray-black-brown spectrum. Clothing might work if you stick to super-drab colors. But why bother? Chances are, grandma and grandpa will find the clothing’s style too strange for them anyway.

Chinese Parents (老爸，老妈 )/Chinese Brother-in-Law or Chinese Sister-in-Law

Gifts for Chinese parents depend on their age. Are they retired? Over 55? See my recommendations for Chinese Grandparents.

For younger Chinese parents (or a Chinese brother-in-law/Chinese sister-in-law), here are some ideas:

Bath and body products: Luxurious lotions and perfumes for her; cologne for him. Either way, you can’t go wrong with these gifts. Many are available in China — Watson’s or duty-free stores — but your family may love something special from abroad. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law loved the Bath and Body Works cologne and perfume we bought them a few years ago.

Clothing: T-shirts, sweatshirts and baseball caps from your local university or sports team work great for men, and just about any color is fine. But don’t bother for the ladies. I’ve yet to find the same ultra-feminine fashions in the US.

Books: Foreign language learners will love a good read. The choice depends on their interests and language level. One I might recommend for advanced English learners is English as a Second F*cking Language. It helped my Chinese husband master the art of swearing.

Young Chinese Children

I only have one 8-year-old nephew, and very little experience giving gifts to Chinese children for the holidays. But I stick to one of three choices: toys, a special sweet snack or pastry, or a hongbao. The hongbao is a red envelope filled with an auspicious amount of money, given to Chinese children during Chinese New Year.

What about you? What gifts do you usually give to your Chinese family? What gifts have been a hit — or a miss?

P.S.: Don’t forget — please also see my Holiday Gifts Roundup Post for more advice on gift-giving.

Possibly Related Posts:

1. Ask the Yangxifu: Why Does My Chinese Family Refuse My Gifts?
2. Ask the Yangxifu: Gifts to Buy Abroad for Chinese Family and Relatives
3. Ask the Yangxifu: How to impress your Chinese boyfriend’s (or girlfriend’s) family during Chinese New Year

Giving Gifts to your Chinese family – A Modest Guide | Speaking of China - One Western woman with a Chinese husband writes about love, family and relationships in China 洋媳妇看中国

——–

Have you ever had such a severe case of the flu that it took away your voice? Have you experienced months of annoyingly frequent respiratory infections? Did you ever have cases of…er…diarrhea so horrible that you had to leave the room mid-sentence? Do you yearn for the days in your home country, when you only got ill once or twice a year?

If you’re a foreigner in China, you just might understand this. Getting up close and personal with a lot of odd colds, flus, and…yes, diarrhea…is all part and parcel of committing yourself to living in China.

But, for some of us foreigners, China’s illnesses have a wrathful hold. Look into our gentle, tired eyes, and you’ll see the tell-tale signs of multitudinous trips to hospitals, pharmacies, and practitioners of traditional Chinese medicine. Look in our homes, and you’ll find several Chinese traditional remedies hiding in the refrigerator, and boxes of prepared cold medicines strewn about the sitting room.
However, I discovered that surviving China’s illnesses goes beyond mere medicines, treatments, or therapy. Surviving demands that you take a holistic approach to your body and lifestyle.

With this “holistic”, common sense approach in mind, I’ll share what I’ve learned from my experiences, plus all of that good motherly advice from my Chinese friends. [see disclaimer at bottom]

Upper Respiratory Infections (aka “ganmao”) and the flu

Drink hot water. Nothing is better for “ganmao” than LOTS of hot water. Are you drinking enough during the day?

Get fresh air in your home or at work. Open the windows to circulate the air in your home or office. Stale air is a breeding ground for “ganmao”!

Also, do NOT use air conditioning or heating while you’re sick. If you MUST use a heater at home, make sure it is one of those little portable units that blows out warmed up air (refengji), not hot air coming from your air conditioning unit.

Wear more clothes. How many times have I heard Chinese tell me this? And how many times did I disregard their advice?

Keeping yourself warm is essential in China! Unless you’re in North China, heating is either pathetically cool or nonexistent. Officially heated cities are, generally speaking, those areas north of the Yangze River. Heat is officially turned on November 15, and shut off March 15. Also, you’ll find the heat efficiency go from “inferno” hot up in Heilongjiang to “whisper cool” at the Yangze’s border.

Being indoors doesn’t guarantee you’ll feel comfortable, especially in the winter. If you’re up North, you might be pining for the heat for weeks. And, if you’re down South, you must face the reality that there is no satisfyingly warm public space. Any visit to your office, your school, or the local restaurants demands wearing a jacket at all times. Think your home will be an oasis of warmth? Even in my apartment, leaving my bedroom is like stepping out into the sub-arctic.

To avoid giving your body frequent shock, wear layers of clothes at all times. Invest in some good pairs of long underwear for the winter. Make sure you’ve got a warm jacket…if not, you can pick up some fabulous down jackets almost everywhere in China.

Minimize exposing yourself to the cold in general. At home, if you must leave your toasty little oasis of a bedroom, throw on a robe or a jacket. Get dressed at army speed in the morning, and do it first thing when you get up. Avoid swimming in unheated pools or pools that don’t provide a warm atmosphere.

Exercise. This is a no-brainer…your poor, tired, foreigner’s body that sits in front of the computer all day is itching to go out and play!

Walking and bicycling are a good start. An intense walk or bike trip can bring out the “Mongolian warrior” in you!

However, if you’re not dreaming of trekking through the snow in the dead of winter, find yourself an invitingly warm indoor pool or modern gym. And, remember…play nice, now!

Sleep more. Ready, set…dream! You’re poor, tired out body is craving a good night’s rest. Indulge yourself! And, while China never seems to rest on the weekend mornings, forget about them and just sleep in!

Take vitamins. All right, so it’s not totally holistic…but it does wonders for your body.

Antioxidants are incredibly powerful against “ganmao” and the flu…I started taking them over a month ago and haven’t taken ill, as well as feeling more energetic and looking more vibrant. Make sure you’re getting a good shot of Vitamin C, E, and beta-carotene from your multivitamin.

Anyone in China can obtain good-quality vitamins at their local Amway (pronounced “Anli”) store or Watson’s, your personal store. Most large cities in China have one—ask your friends where to find Amway or Watson’s.

Otherwise, if you’re preparing to go to China, don’t forget those antioxidants!

Chronic diarrhea and indigestion

Eat at regular times. Often, diarrhea occurs when you jockey your mealtimes around too much. So, if you’re having dinner at 4:30 yesterday, 10 pm today, and 6:30 the next day, this means YOU.

Don’t fear! Just eat dinner at a “reasonable and convenient hour”, whenever that may be for you, and stick to it. Generally speaking, it’s best not to eat close to bedtime.

Eat easily digestible foods. Digestible foods? Isn’t all food digestible??

Well…some more than others.

Rice is a VERY easily digestible food (attested to by all of the rice infant foods available in China). Eat plenty of rice and rice porridge.

Plain noodles and mantou (steamed bread) are fine as well.

Be careful with Baozi (steamed dumplings). Baozi, in my experience, are generally a little unclean, and can irritate a delicate stomach.

Most vegetables are fine, especially if cooked. Beware, however. Any vegetable loses its digestibility when drowning in a puddle of oil.

When eating out, remind the waiters to go easy on the oil.

Tofu is excellent, and plentiful all over China. Softer varieties tend to be more digestible.

Non-acidic fruits are OK.

Go easy on the tea, but forget about the coffee! And, for that matter, give fruit juice a pass…it tends to be pretty acidic as well.

In general, avoid any of the following:
- Greasy or oily foods
- Fried foods
- Acidic foods

Drink ginger tea. Simple, effective, and SUPER-cheap.

Buy ginger root at any supermarket or open market. Slice up a small part, and boil the slices together with water. You’ll end up with a deliciously aromatic, light yellow tea your stomach will LOVE you for.

You can drink it at least once a day, or whenever you have indigestion.

Did I miss something here? No problem…for more information on well-being and holistic healing, check out Dr. Andrew Weil’s website. I visit regularly, and the best part–it’s free!

[Disclaimer: All of this advice is based on my experience living in China and dealing with common illnesses and health problems...think of it as the kind of advice your friends or parents would offer.

But, remember, I AM NOT A DOCTOR! Also, while this is all good advice, it may not always work ALL the time for everyone. Your situation is always different from my situation. If you have serious health problems, don't hesitate to visit your friendly local hospital in China...promise?]

Possibly Related Posts:

1. Finally, a Taobao for Foreigners in China – Shoppinglu.com
2. Chapter 19: Only Mandarin-Speaking Foreigners Belong in China?
3. Chapter 80: The Foreign Foreigners

The sensitive foreigner’s guide to staying healthy in China | Speaking of China - One Western woman with a Chinese husband writes about love, family and relationships in China 洋媳妇看中国