3 Stereotypes About Asian Men I’m Tired Of Hearing | Speaking of China

33 Responses

  1. Eileen Huang 黃愛玲
    Eileen Huang 黃愛玲 February 28, 2017 at 6:49 am | | Reply

    My husband is 6’0 and he is not even the tallest in the family. My husband is an interior designer and is very creative. Stfu on the stereotypes.

    My husband’s former boss in Shanghai, China is from Shandong province (if I remember correctly, my memory is bad) and she is taller than my husband. ???? She said she is typical height from that region.

  2. Julie Collins-Ni
    Julie Collins-Ni February 28, 2017 at 10:26 am | | Reply

    I look up to my husband in all ways! My highest heels have nothing on him. He is tall, handsome, and I have no complaints in the most personal aspects of our marriage. Anyone who dares make any implications has learned the difficult way with me. I am proud of my Chinese husband every second of every day!

  3. Zhao
    Zhao February 28, 2017 at 12:25 pm | | Reply

    One stereotype I heard a lot is, western women are very wild in the sex and Asian men are supposed to have low self-esteem with their small penis. They generally think AMWF couples would be embarrassed in sex. But this is so unreasonable!

  4. Isabella
    Isabella February 28, 2017 at 8:25 pm | | Reply

    you are sooooo right! I had girlfriends who, very shyly, asked me that question: but, is it true that…?! arghhh, there are also stereotypes about us though that I heard or felt a lot in China. Like that Western girls are all sluts (sorry for the straightforwardess) and that we are rich. So, every culture has its limits and prejudices.

  5. Svetlana
    Svetlana March 1, 2017 at 1:23 am | | Reply

    Ugh I hate penis stereotype… and unfortunately I have encountered it way too often for my liking from former girlfriends to my own parents…most unfortunately, baby’shower father falls into negative stereotypes although we are no longer together. I did try going out with him for two years, but it was a hopeless situation. ( very cold, workaholic, did not like nor care for sex, had no normal social life, etd.)

  6. Autumn
    Autumn March 1, 2017 at 1:41 am | | Reply

    Yeah, unfortunately my Chinese-American husband totally hits the math/ computer stereotype. He’s got a masters in engineering and cyber security, and anything mathematical is damned easy for him.

    But this is also true of my own uber white Baby Brother.

    Height? I laugh. I’m way above average height and my husband is several inches taller than I am.

    As for the wang thing? Anytime any man brings that up, I’m all, “Dude. Your white insecurity is showing and it ain’t pretty.”

  7. AG
    AG March 1, 2017 at 6:24 am | | Reply


    One important thing to improve life and be successful dissociate yourself from negative force ( message, information,people). Bombarded with negative and pathetic information can make a person clinically depressed and suicidal.

    Bad people and bad things are part of life. But you can not be obsessed with them. Just imagine someone who keep bring up and remind you bad thing in your life. That is pretty evil.

    Move on from bad experience. Move on from bad messengers.

    Charlie Munger said well that he refused to think himself as victim. Victimhood is very destructive.

  8. Kelley
    Kelley March 1, 2017 at 5:01 pm | | Reply

    When I tell people I prefer Asian men, physical stereotypes come up, I just give them the resting bitch face, like why go there regardless…

  9. Julie Collins-Ni
    Julie Collins-Ni March 2, 2017 at 1:43 pm | | Reply

    I must make an admission. When I first started getting close to my husband, I had this idea that he would be very mild. Mild in an intimate way. I also thought that since I was the American blue eyed, blonde hair, “full chested” woman, I would have to be aggressive (I am not). I considered these stereotypes about both of us! Of course, not true. My husband is a confident man and I didn’t have to try and be something I am not. So, essentially, I am a very satisfied wife. I even make fun of this stereotype after a particularly good “workout”. Lol. I say, “I am the American who discovered truth, but I need to do some more research. “

  10. Sisly
    Sisly March 5, 2017 at 10:20 pm | | Reply

    I know you get a lot of tall guys in the North (and those that have migrated south), but the average Chinese guy that is from southern China is quite short compared to western men.

    1. TLAG
      TLAG May 22, 2017 at 12:57 am | | Reply


      I am not sure about it.

      The two Chinese basketball players who played in the NBA are from southern China. Yi jian lian from Guangdong privince and Yao ming from Jiangsu province.

  11. Julie Collins-Ni
    Julie Collins-Ni March 6, 2017 at 11:26 am | | Reply

    My husband is from Fuzhou in Southern China and he is taller than me in any heels I wear. I’m am American from Finland that is above average in height. My husband Kongfeng aka “King Kong “. Ahhh. Fitting alias.

  12. ManilaMemories
    ManilaMemories March 24, 2017 at 12:29 am | | Reply

    I really think “size” fixation is mainly a “Western” phenomenon, and mostly in the U.S. and as I observed before, it’s likely porn-induced. Living in Asia for part of my life, it’s rare or non-existent to hear such talk about “bigger being better” at least, among the guys I’ve talked to….But I know that some Asian women joke about it when describing “Western” genitalia, but not in a positive manner especially among those who are fairly conservative and have no history of sexual promiscuity and or “massive” exposure to Western pornography…..

  13. ManilaMemories
    ManilaMemories March 26, 2017 at 2:55 am | | Reply

    A lot of that hardcore stuff is truly harmful in the way that they corrupt the minds of those who view the material. Some might not be aware of this, but it is not just limited to the visuals. It is also verbally communicated to its audience that guys with a “smaller package” (almost always shown to be white males) are “inferior” and you see the white girls in these videos telling you how much they “love” being with men who are “large” down there, and oftentimes, it’s with multiple guys. I would say it’s prevalent with those exposed to interracial BMWF porn. Incidentally, the noticeable lack of Asian males involved in Western porn also contributes to the “Asian guys with a “small package” stereotype coupled with recent research studies that measure average male sizes among different racial groups.

    So just imagine being someone from a different culture and ethnic background whose general exposure to others of another race is largely limited to hardcore porn.

  14. ManilaMemories
    ManilaMemories March 27, 2017 at 6:04 am | | Reply

    A few observations:

    A “big heart” can more than make up for an “average/small package.”

    A man who can make a woman “happy” outside the bedroom should have no problems making a woman “happy” inside the bedroom.

    I think guys should view being in an “exclusive dating arrangement” as a “training ground” for a much longer-term and usually formal relationship (i.e. “marriage”) and they have to adjust their lives and schedules, accordingly. They need to realize that this may evolve into something akin to a 24/7 commitment even before a formal exchange of vows. Understand that there are no “short-cuts.” And there is no such thing as being just a “fair-weather” BF unless your intentions are less than “noble.”

    I think the “secret” to a successful, long-term romantic relationship lies in the ability to empathize with the one you love and to express that through care, compassion, and kindness towards that special someone who shares those traits.

  15. Julie Collins-Ni
    Julie Collins-Ni March 27, 2017 at 9:38 pm | | Reply

    I like this guy. LOL. You are, or will be, an amazing husband with an equally amazing wife ????

  16. ManilaMemories
    ManilaMemories March 28, 2017 at 7:34 am | | Reply

    Thanks, Julie. Yes, I have heard others make similar references, so I guess I must be on the right track…:) But anyhow, it actually took me awhile to finally figure things out that which included a bit of soul-searching, learning from relationship mistakes in the past, understanding what I did “wrong” and also what I did “right.” Plus trying to study and identify the tensions between men in women in committed relationships and to see how one can alleviate that…. Incidentally, I have come to the realization that a lot of these problems stem from a lack of empathy on the male side and a refusal or reluctance of guys to adapt their behaviors in ways that benefit a relationship….So I can understand that saying about how “women want to ‘change’ their men,” but I will also advise the ladies to focus on those who have already begun the process of “changing” and are moving in ways conducive to long-term relationship success….Don’t be the starting point; these guys should already have been well on their way before they embarked on a relationship with you….

    Now, I am sure some might “accuse” me of advocating that guys become a “doormat” to their GF/wives, but nothing could be further from the truth. What I am saying is that men need to learn and experience doing much of the “heavy lifting” for the sake of maintaining relationship stability way before it becomes “permanent”….They have to assume “leadership” by assuming a lot of the responsibility of making their relationships work, much of that being about how in-tune they are with their GF/wives’ feelings and emotions, corresponding with figuring out the best ways for guys to respond. Like I said before, this could evolve into a 24/7 commitment and you men should be ready to roll up your sleeves and do the job, right. Yes, there is a lot of work involved but isn’t it worth doing for the sake of the relationship and making your women happy?

  17. Julie Collins-Ni
    Julie Collins-Ni March 31, 2017 at 10:51 am | | Reply

    You are completely correct! My husband and I never try to culturally re-route each other. We listen, learn, and adapt. Actually, we don’t try to re-route each other in general. My husband had an “American” name he would go by when I met him. I never have used it. He is Kong Feng. That is the man I love. Kong Feng from China who needs no alternative personality. He is perfect in his imperfection. All qualities he possesses are his. You love all of someone or you will love none. Now there is no longer an “Evan”. Evan isn’t necessary when a Kong Feng exists. My husband prefers the name his mother lovingly gave him. So do I.

  18. ManilaMemories
    ManilaMemories March 31, 2017 at 12:19 pm | | Reply

    Indeed, Julie, what I love about you and Kong Feng is the fact that you both apparently put your marriage first…There seems to be a great deal of empathy between you both; you are so in-tune to each other, a characteristic so lacking in many a relationship these days….A lack of empathy, for example, is why oftentimes, a marriage dissolves when one person leaves, leaving the other spouse completely off-guard and bewildered….I think of the movie “Kramer vs. Kramer” as an example….

    Incidentally, I also detected a growing empathy between Zhao and Saara based on his post, and what he said about how they both learned to settle their differences amicably rather than putting their relationship at risk.

  19. Jack
    Jack April 9, 2017 at 2:47 am | | Reply

    As the economy have been developing,our life standards have a great improvement. The height is higher than before. The average height and weight The northern Chinese than southern Chinese This is true Beijing tianjin Qingdao shenyang dalian xian shijiazhuang, changchun, Harbin jinan VS Shanghai guangzhou shenzhen nanjing wuhan chongqing chengdu suzhou hangzhou Fuzhou

  20. Jack
    Jack April 9, 2017 at 5:02 am | | Reply

    There’s too much difference between our heights. My father was born in 1961 i was born on June, 17th, 1992 I come from Yantai, Shandong Province Real GDP per capita 316 yuan in 1978 2112yuan in 1992 9326 yuan in 2000 39170 yuan in 2010 $ 10000 in 2016 About 68978RMB 16 to 18 years old average height is 171.10cm in 1985 statistical data (300 boys) 173.57cm in 1995 (217 boys) 176.37cm in 2010 (251boy)

  21. Jack
    Jack April 9, 2017 at 5:37 am | | Reply

    Qingdao is the big city in Shandong (2016 )Capita gdp 115959RMB = 16811.0122 Dollar Western women think Asian men are short Our country used to be poor We have nothing to eat. but now the life of people more and more rich You will see many tall Asian men in the future

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