Is the AMWF scene a creepy thing?

How AM (Asian Male) Anything Creeps Women Out
(Screenshot from http://www.americanfobs.com/)

Is the AMWF scene a creepy thing?

I know, it sounds like a crazy question for a website that includes AMWF in its tagline. But ever since I came across this article in the summer titled How AM (Asian Male) Anything Creeps Women Out, it’s been on my mind.

For those of you who missed it, here’s an excerpt from the article:

Sending out a little over twenty e-mails to a little over twenty attractive women, I received some painful yet truthful responses regarding the Asian male (anything) women cults. “It’s creepy. A bunch of Asian guys in a room, or any guys for that matter make me feel like an object rather than a person,” said one responder. Another said the following, “things like AMWF feel set up. I actually really like Asian guys, but the environment is awkward. I’d rather meet someone in person. Also, for the internet, I don’t do online dating or meet ups – period!” Finally, another responder who had previously attended an AMWF meet up wrote back, “I didn’t like most of the guys that were there because the only thing they cared about was getting laid, or getting a girlfriend. We shared no common interests, and that’s why I chose an Asian interest group instead like a learning Japanese MeetUp.com group.”³

As much as I champion interracial dating for Asian men, when I read this part of the article, I couldn’t help but sympathize with the women. It would feel incredibly creepy and uncomfortable to be in a situation where you’re surrounded by tons of men (some with only one thing on their minds), or where things feel awkward/set up.

While I know there are people out there who have met through these sites/groups, it’s hard to argue with the author’s conclusion: “If you’re an Asian guy looking for a girlfriend or something along the lines of a girlfriend, your best bet is to actively seek through a less obvious approach. AM anything creeps women out regardless of whether they like Asian men or not.”

On the other hand, if you’re looking for community, I don’t think AMWF is creepy at all.

Look, AMWF is certainly not the rarest interracial pairing out there (I’m sure that honor would go to Asian men and Black men). Still, we’re rare enough compared to the entire interracial dating world – enough to feel like you’re part of a lonely club. And when you realize you’re the “odd one out” and you start having these experiences your friends don’t always understand, it’s really valuable to have a community you can turn to. You know, people who understand what you’re going through – such as negative comments you’ve heard about dating Asian men or the heartbreaking discrimination your husband experiences in your home country.

I also know plenty of people who aren’t in a relationship, but visit AMWF websites just for inspiration and encouragement. For example, a close male friend of mine from China once told me he loves looking at the photos of couples and families on my Pinterest board. He dreams of finding a Western woman somewhere in the world to love and marry, and these photos offer him a possible vision of that future family he hopes to have.

The people I’ve met through the AMWF community – from bloggers to authors to the many people I’ve connected with (online and off) — have truly enriched my life. I’ve learned from them, connected with them and found common ground with them. They’ve helped me feel a little less lonely and even supported me. I can’t imagine a world without them.

What do you think about using AMWF site or meetup groups for dating? Is it a creepy scene or not? What do you see as the value of AMWF communities?

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44 thoughts on “Is the AMWF scene a creepy thing?

  • October 13, 2014 at 7:42 am
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    Do women think that dating meetup groups for men and women in general are creepy, or is there something about desperate Asian men pining for white women that is uniquely creepy?

    Personally, I do tend to find that AMWF sites and communities give off an uncomfortable vibe, especially when the participants (both men and women) are obviously social oddballs that don’t quite fit in with the mainstream. I understand that sites like Jocelyn’s are helpful to many who are keen for an AMWF relationship, but I often wonder whether these sites are successful in the goal of putting AMWF in a positive light to the general public.

    Reply
    • November 24, 2014 at 11:49 pm
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      Its offensive to say that every man and woman in an AMWF is a “social oddball”. First, by whose standard are you judging “oddness” on? Yours? Well Im sure to some people you are odd yourself. So if,someome doesnt fit your definition and worldview as “normal” than there must be,something wrong with them? I think people who gemeralize like that are incredibly narrowminded.

      If you are talking about am or wf who fetishize the other based on race or some love of asian entertainment, then,I would,say that its not healthy to only be interested in someone those superficial reasoms and,continue to only like someone,for those reasons.

      But to make a sweeping generalization that all amwf groups are “odd” is offensive and very wrong.

      My husband and I are perfrctly normal people. We are both college educated, he works for a large company in a good position, I am a professional with a license. We have a 3 year old daughter, have a dinner time, a bed time, favorite restaurants, take our daughter to the park regularly, have 2 cats, have traditions, a supportive family on both sides, and live a happy life. And he is Korean and I am white. We also could,careless about asian entertainment celebs or western celebs for that matter. So why are so much more “odd” than same race couples? We actually have a happier, more stable, successful marriage than many same race couples.

      Reply
  • October 13, 2014 at 10:19 am
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    Actually, the first interracial couple that I knew personally were a AMWF. I met J. (the girl) and we became instant friends during our 2nd year of university. Not long after, I met A. (her boyfriend). They were (and still are) so in love. However, J. always told me about the challenges their relationship faced because of outside influences (especially the harsh remarks of random strangers). Little did I know during all our conversations in university that I would meet and marry a Taiwanese man. We still remain in contact today and even though we have always been great friends, we have another common factor and we can talk about another aspect of our life as well. But, your post got me wondering if she would have benefited from a community of AMWF – a group of people experiencing situations as they were during the beginning years of their relationship.

    I find interacting with other bloggers great. It is always nice to hear their stories and interact with them as well. And like my friend and I, we can relate to each other!!

    Reply
    • October 13, 2014 at 2:24 pm
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      That’s cool you met an AMWF couple so early on! I knew pretty much nobody when I was at university. It was odd. I had a lot of Asian friends at the time too (including international students) but didn’t know a single one of them dating someone who wasn’t Asian.

      It is totally great to meet other bloggers! I swear one of these days I hope we’ll have some kind of international meet up or something!

      Reply
      • October 14, 2014 at 9:58 pm
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        Yes, it was very rare to see a AMWF couple on campus and I am glad they were able to survive the challenges they faced during the early part of their relationship.

        Reply
  • October 13, 2014 at 11:36 am
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    I’d like to take exception to what D-Maybe says about participants in AMWF communities being social oddballs. I certainly don’t consider myself a social oddball. Although I do agree that there’s at least something uncomfortable about dating meet-up groups. For creepy, I would nominate the TV reality show: The Bachelor.

    Reply
    • October 13, 2014 at 12:18 pm
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      Hi Nicki,

      My comment was not directed at you personally nor was it meant to be an all-encompassing blanket statement about AMWF couples. It is simply an observation that I’ve made based on my experiences with various AMWF communities and, if I may be so presumptuous, what I said is not exactly controversial. The reality is that a great many members of such communities are social oddballs (for want of a better word) because they openly admit it and wear it like some sort of badge of honour. And those that don’t say so explicitly often indicate their oddball quality with their obsessive hobby or interest in a specific area (e.g. anime character, K-pop idol).

      Now, it’s not necessarily wrong not to be part of the mainstream, and I’m not one of those people who are naturally inclined to conform to the majority myself, but if the goal of AMWF advocacy is to make this coupling more appealing to the general public, then having a group of oddballs as the members is likely to have the exact opposite effect.

      Reply
    • October 13, 2014 at 2:26 pm
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      Wow, I didn’t know the Bachelor could be creepy! Now that you’ve said that, it makes me want to tune in sometime and see it for myself.

      Reply
  • October 13, 2014 at 2:57 pm
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    AMWF is obviously not inherently creepy.

    What is inherently creepy are any sort of forums or groups or efforts to find partners that are mostly based on race, no matter what that race is.

    I mean, keeping in mind that some people do have strong preferences regarding what attracts them, and perhaps some races and cultures fit those preferences better than others, and sometimes there is a strong desire to bring up children or create a home that is strong in the person’s home culture. These are not what I mean – I mean specifically saying “I want to date Asian guys” or “I only go out with Filipinas” or “only black men for me” or “if she’s not Eastern European, I’m not interested” because you think those races are better, or that members of the opposite sex of your own race are somehow bad (e.g. “I hate white girls, they’re so fat and angry and bitter” or “Asian guys are effeminate and mama’s boys” – NOT COOL).

    That is what’s creepy, not AMWF specifically. And when there are forums or groups dedicated to this, that’s even creepier. I mean, how can it not be creepy, it’s basically racist and fetishist. It gives interracial dating, marriage etc. a very bad name, which is not fair.

    And can be exploitative too – from the image of Russian women in China because there are a lot of Russian prostitutes (not that sex work is inherently bad, but these women are often exploited), to the profiting off of SE Asian brides sent to Taiwan, basically mail-ordered and paid-for, sex tourism to SE Asia, and you don’t even want to know how exploitative it can get in other places (Sri Lanka, Nigeria and Kenya have sex tourism problems, too).

    I think that’s what people are reacting to – the “I ONLY want a woman of this race” (or “I only want a man of this race”) fetishist part of the equation, not the interracial part no matter what races the people involved are.

    I mean, I raised my eyebrows at “he dreams of finding a Western woman somewhere in the world to love and marry” – why does she have to be Western? What does that have to do with love and marriage? Why does her race make her preferable (and if it didn’t, why is that detail important)?

    That’s totally not the same as “he met a Western woman, fell in love with her and married her” which only the worst kind of people would ever find offensive.

    Reply
  • October 13, 2014 at 7:13 pm
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    That article could have just as easily been about WMAF (White Male-Asian Female) groups where unwanted and dejected white men (they can’t live up to independent white women) seek submissive Asian women (who are self-hating racists who won’t date black and other non-white men because they watch too many Hollywood movies that portray white men as being better than non-white men -I know, hilarious!). Now, that’s creepy too. And their are even more of them than AMWF groups!

    Reply
  • October 13, 2014 at 10:29 pm
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    Why it seems creepy is the imbalance of demand. I am guessing 90-95% of Asian males (I am low balling this) want to date an white female, but maybe 15-20% of white females (I am high balling this) would consider dating an Asian male. So these event setups are mostly going to have number imbalance – 50-1 or 100-1. Doesn’t have to be Asian men, but any 50 men – 1 women meets up is down right scary.

    Reply
    • October 14, 2014 at 2:38 am
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      Don’t flatter yourself. As a Chinese male in the UK I have NO desire to date the white women.

      Old myths die hard, I get people slyly asking me sometimes if Chinese vaginas are really sideways that was a myth from 1850.

      Second a lot of English women are seriously overweight. The UK average is 11.6stone for WOMEN and dress size 14-16.

      Those women than I am.

      Reply
      • October 15, 2014 at 11:26 am
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        @Ken I agree that those figures (that Darian mentions) are inflated. I never got the sense that Chinese men were particularly interested in dating westerners. I just have the feeling that Chinese people, at least where I live, are somewhat curious about foreigners and foreign things (food, clothes, TV shows, etc). There is obviously a big difference between interest in foreign brands and dating a foreigner.

        I think it’s too bad that you will entirely write off white/British women though. It’s a shame people discount entire nationalities or races of people as datable. There are plenty of overweight Chinese women where I live and I know plenty of thin white women.

        I also find it odd when people fixate on dating a specific race. I understand having preferences, but doesn’t it all come down to the individual? I agree a lot with what Jenna said in her comment.

        @ D-Maybe. I’m not exactly a social oddball. Maybe I’m a bit adventurous and I sometimes like a good challenge. In China, I’ve met a lot of “interesting” people, both male and female. I think being an expat requires a little something special, personality wise, a little je ne sais quoi?

        Reply
      • November 24, 2014 at 11:34 pm
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        You know Ken, it sounds more like youre very bitter about not being able to get the interests of beautiful british girls. Yes, manh British women are overweight, there are as equally as many gorgeous, fit British women too. Theres also many unattractive asian women and many pretty ones. Its true for any group. If you are attractive, successful, have something to offer, you will get the attention of the beautiful women in any society. It sounds to me like you arent able to get the attentions of beautiful white girls and so youve adopted the “If I reject them, they cant reject me” defense mechanism. I get it, we all try to protect our egos. But try to work on toning down the bitterness, we all know its not that British girls are ugly (they arent), its just you projecting your issues on a whole group of people.

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    • October 15, 2014 at 1:14 pm
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      @ Darian.

      I am not certain that your statistics are accurate when you wrote that 90-95% Asian males prefer to date white women while only 15-20% of white women will give an Asian man a chance. Where did you get those statistics?

      I can vouch for the fact that many Asian men will not choose white women as their first preference (maybe 2nd or 3rd). I can attest to this fact personally. When I was younger I only wanted to date a petite, slim and slender Chinese woman, but only when I grew older then I opened my horizon and dated a white woman who is now my wife. I also know Asian men whose preferences are their fellow Asian girls. When I visited Hong Kong I rarely saw a AM/WF couple. If Asian men overwhelmingly preferred Western women to the point of 90-95%, then we will see more of these pairings.

      I think that many Asians are curious about Western cultures and this is the reason why they will want to know Westerners. As for dating them, I am not certain Western women are their first choice.

      Reply
  • October 13, 2014 at 11:38 pm
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    I think there’s definitely some truth in what D-Maybe said about dating meet up groups being creepy overall not necessarily being limited to the AM tag. Then again, I’ve never experienced one first hand, so I can’t say.
    I have to agree that having a communityーor being able to access one at leastーthat you can relate to is comforting, inspiring and helpful. It really is nice to read or hear something and go “oh, I know exactly (or at least a bit!) what you mean!” ^^

    Reply
  • October 14, 2014 at 7:44 pm
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    I don’t know if I would consider a meet-up creepy, although I haven’t ever been to one. I have to admit even though I am white, I prefer Asian men. I am very much into eyes and I prefer men that are more reserved. I get that alot of white women just aren’t into it. Recently someone asked me what I found attractive, I showed two Korean actors, and three of the women said they were ,”Ok, I guess, if you’re into that”. I was floored, but then again men they were naming off I just rolled my eyes.
    Right now, I am dating a man that is Chinese, hoping it goes much further, but it’s more of who he is, not what he is. I admit, what he is got me to look, but who he is, that’s what’s keeping me wanting more time with him.
    I think everyone needs a community or group of peers for support, someone to vent to how has possibly been there and can offer advice or just be there for you…

    Reply
  • October 14, 2014 at 9:19 pm
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    More Asian men are like Ken M more often than not, but for different reasons.

    Reply
  • October 15, 2014 at 4:03 pm
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    @Darian,
    Maybe things in USA are different,but at least in China,men’s preference has nothing different with Caucasians,namely attached more to their own race(actually I think it’s more about culture-recognition).
    However,I have to say the admiration toward white girls in China does exist but superficially.As is known,Chinese worshiping light skin color plus yearning for western step-in-advance modern civilization shapes the noble image of westerners which drives WHITES to prevail in China.
    But,Chinese attitude towards relationship or marriage is not paid as much about appearance as white ppl in my opinion.Simply,we mostly indeed consider white girls of being beautiful whereas rarely consider to marry one.Admiring,dating and marrying are three different pictures.

    At last,in fact,there are also stereotypes of white ppl in China like ours scattering in your society.And some,I have to say,are not that positive even about girls.

    Reply
  • October 15, 2014 at 10:44 pm
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    “Simply,we mostly indeed consider white girls of being beautiful whereas rarely consider to marry one.Admiring,dating and marrying are three different pictures.”

    As I have said in the past the reasons vary from country to country.

    Reply
  • October 16, 2014 at 1:11 am
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    @Darian,

    95% of Asian male

    I don’t know if you include indians, south east asians?

    So far, for Chinese men from China, Taiwan, HK, Singapore, Malaysia whom I have come across, don’t even look twice at White girls if they ever encounter one on the street. This is also two way streets. White girls also don’t look at East Asian guys (under 5’8”, thin) twice for potential partners.

    East Asian guys might be super smart, but if he looks like Wang baoqiang (The guy in “Lost in Thailand”) or even Jack Ma, there’s no way he would get twice a look from a girl, let alone White girls.

    White girls, on the other hand, might be super pretty, not obese (like Karen in “Selfie”), East Asian guys will NOT bend down their knees, carry the female handbag, grab her leg, and plead her to stay (Which by the way, is completely ridiculous and stupid, I must say for guys to do that.)

    So for interest wise, 95% is way too high.

    Just live in the White dominant country for an extended period of time, and you’ll get used to the idea that some white girls are just like Susan Boyle. But Susan Boyle didn’t get any chance in “Selfie”, but Jennifer Aniston who got nasal bridge under the knife got the big role in “F.R.I.E.N.D.S” So the media portrayal of white women works pretty well.

    ————————————–
    White girls, on average, stands 5’6” or 5’7”. So even if those shorter ones, 5’3”, 5’4”, enjoy the whole spectrum of just being a White girl.

    On the other hand, East Asian guys, on average stands 5’7”, 5’8”, with their outstanding haircut and muscular features. Those taller ones, 5’11”, 6’1” with athletic features find it hard to break out the East Asian mold. We can’t always point at “Yao Ming” every time. He’s an outlier while the rest is still eating Tofu.

    Tofu is basically starch, which is carbohydrates. Muscles is made up of amino acids, which is proteins. To build the body, we need proteins. Yes our body has an enzymatic pathway to change carbohydrates to proteins. But that takes an extra load on the body to change. Women have evolved to have an enzymatic reaction to change starch into fats way more powerful than men. That’s why they gain weight easily even if they eat tofu. Men, on the other hand, has evolved differently.

    Don’t get started on “Why Koreans as a whole population don’t have ass”. Every K-drama focuses on those surgery face, rather than showing their ass.

    But to my delight, I found more and more East Asian guys in the gym lately, some I found it quite handsome even for a guy like me, I guess they stand maybe around 5’11” or 6’2”.

    But never did I see an Indian guy and South East Asian guys in the gym so far.

    Reply
  • October 16, 2014 at 12:36 pm
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    @Rdm: the whole long post, and I still don’t see a main central point. Do you just like to hear yourself talk, hence only talk for the sake of talking? So much for Ivy League education right?

    Regarding the topic, I don’t think it’s necessarily a creepy thing, but maybe AMWF specific meetups are just too narrow minded, therefore less likely to bring success to its participants.
    For Asian guys who really would like to date white women (or really, any type of women), it’s best they have stronger and wider social network. Only with more social network, his chance of meeting the suitable prospects is higher, because he can go to social gatherings more often.
    Relying on just AMWF specific meeting is just like putting all eggs into one basket

    Reply
    • October 16, 2014 at 12:50 pm
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      I do in fact enjoy hearing my talk.

      Ugh, someone’s been stalking me for a while. Get your fact straight.

      Reply
  • October 16, 2014 at 4:24 pm
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    British women are probably not the best representatives of white feminine beauty as they seem to have an even worse reputation than American women amongst Western men. But the cool thing about British women is that they’re generally easy to get along with.

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  • October 16, 2014 at 8:40 pm
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    I have never used an AMWF dating site or been to a meetup so I can’t say, but… I’d say any dating site and meetup has the potential to be weird! (Most) Guys tend to use those kind of things to get sex, and (most) girls hope to be friends first…

    Reply
  • October 17, 2014 at 1:46 am
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    I’m serious! You asian men need to hit the gym man!. I’m posing right now in front of the mirror. Oh yes !!!! I like what RDM has to say.

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  • October 17, 2014 at 4:25 am
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    “British women are probably not the best representatives of white feminine beauty as they seem to have an even worse reputation than American women amongst Western men.”

    Seems odd…most white American me marry white American women…granted women of Turkish and Lebanese origin who look white are considered white..despite the contrary information 80% of white American men wont even talk with Asian women or Asian American women.

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    • October 17, 2014 at 2:00 pm
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      I don’t know the statistics but there indeed ever prevailed a phrase called FELLOW FEVER referring to white guys preferring Asian girls in America.
      But I guess maybe there are lots of dating instead of marriage.

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    • October 21, 2014 at 2:23 am
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      @ David.

      I am curious. Do you know any Asian males who have dated White looking Turkish or Lebanese women? I personally do not know of any such pairings. I don’t know of any Turkish or Lebanese women myself. I have been to a Lebanese restaurant several times in my life, and I have to admit that the Lebanese girls look white just like the Americans and they certainly are pretty. I do not know if they harbor any prejudice or aversion toward dating Asian men. I am guessing that they will not seek out Asian men to date as they are Muslims and Muslims tend to be very conservative in their dating culture (i.e. not going outside of their race, ethnicity or religion etc.). But this is just my guess as I have no basis to make this blanket statement.

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  • October 21, 2014 at 9:49 pm
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    “I am curious. Do you know any Asian males who have dated White looking Turkish or Lebanese women?”

    Two…Malay man and Indonesian man…accepted by their families because they are moslems but not accpeted by US society because the women look pale white and blonde and does not wear head scarf while the men look really dark…saying that some groups cannot see past religion…while many white Americans cannot see past color.

    “I do not know if they harbor any prejudice or aversion toward dating Asian men.”

    Moslem white women definitely do not…more devoted to religion…Christian Lebanese women consider themselves white…there are stories passed down over generations that Lebanese women (new immigrants) included, attended lynching parties in Louisiana. These Lebanese women are probably as prejudiced as southern whites…they are southern white for all practical purposes.

    “I am guessing that they will not seek out Asian men to date as they are Muslims and Muslims tend to be very conservative in their dating culture (i.e. not going outside of their race, ethnicity or religion etc.).”

    More moslems in Indonesia and India than the rest of the world put together, and last I saw (a few seconds ago in my organization) at least the ones in Bangladesh and South India and all the men in Indonesia are NOT WHITE…having said that many moslems are only interested in advancing the religion…so as long as they are concerned religion more than color matter. Then again a lot of moslems are tribal and I am not very sure that a Lebanese family will accept thier daughter marrying a black moslem…somali, Senegalese or Nigerian for that matter!

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  • October 21, 2014 at 9:53 pm
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    One more thing: Jews in America are powerful because they stay Jewish…Many Arabs in America, particularly women, try to become white as soon as they can…so they dont form an Arab group and lobby for the Palestinians…even Palestinian Christian women try to become white and assimilate into the US society if they can.

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  • October 22, 2014 at 1:10 am
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    @ David. Thanks for your prompt response. You have now answered my questions and satisfied my curiosity.

    I have never dated a Muslim woman before whether she is White, Black or of a different color. I am curious though that I had tried to date a Muslim woman, will she and her family accept a Chinese-looking Asian man? Also, if I did date a Muslim woman, will there be any difference if she is more white-looking or black-looking? But now that I am married, this question is now moot and will never be answered.

    Have you any experience dating a Muslim woman? I only heard from several White guy friends that they have dated Persian (Iranian) Muslim women and these white guys said that these girls are quite “wild in bed.” They said that because Muslim women are eviscerated of all rights in their society and cannot have sexual contact with men, they go “wild” when they come here in the U.S. after finding the freedom to date the “pretty white guys.” I cannot confirm or disconfirm this so called observation from my white guy friends.

    Can you confirm or disconfirm this fact?

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  • October 22, 2014 at 2:30 am
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    @Fred…depends…in most cases if you are moslem they will accept….however, dating is not common among moslems whether Malays or Indonesians or Lebanese…so if you focus on a woman you probably have to marry her.

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  • October 22, 2014 at 2:34 am
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    Can you confirm or disconfirm this fact?

    Never dated any…but I believe it is a heresay. However, in my experience white guys I know only dated white looking Arabs, Iranians or Turks…and in many cases these women happen to be non-moslem…actually more white guys date women of Arab or Turkish origin like Maggie Hassan, the governor of New Hampshire, of Jennine Shaheen the Senator from NH than date Asian women…the latter stands out because the races happen to be very different. Actually they say the fathest apart in genes are white men and Asian women…how far this is true I really cannot say.

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  • October 22, 2014 at 7:22 am
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    @ David.

    Thanks for your thoughts and your attempt to answer my questions. Take care.

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  • November 23, 2014 at 1:41 am
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    My husband and I met on one of those AMWF sites, funny enough! We connected on the site but started chatting and meeting off of it right away. I personally think the creepiest thing about AMWF sites is the focus on race too much on both sides. The men always ask things like “So what do you like about Asian men? What do you not like? Favorite Asian?” etc and some the girls borderline Asian fetish and look foolish. I find Asian men attractive but I really never wanted to focus on that. One reason my husband and I bonded so quickly was because we moved on from the “You’re AM and I’m WF thing” quickly and got to know the rest about each other. Ahhhh, memories. 🙂

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    • March 21, 2017 at 8:56 am
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      Yeah, I completely agree with how creepy this whole racial fixation is….I know a number of AMWF couples, mostly all of them happily married except for a couple of young people in their 20’s, but I think they will tie the knot, soon. As an Asian guy, I must admit, I would be open to marriage with a lady who is “white,” but her race is admittedly “very low” on my list of criteria….Having said that, I recall the most meaningful romantic relationship I have ever had was in fact, with a woman who just happens to be “white,” but if not for “difficult” circumstances that existed before we met, we both saw a possibility for a more permanent union…..But I definitely would still avoid the AMWF scene….I am just completely turned off by the idea of seeking romance with “race” as a major criteria….

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  • November 24, 2014 at 11:17 pm
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    There are a lot of mass generalizations about whole groups of women from people projecting their own race/insecurity/bitterness/jealousy issues here and trying to make it sound like its some,infallable truth when really its just a reflection on the poster and their own issues. Making statements like “White women are like……””Asian men only like or dont like….””Asian women are all like….” is always wrong, offensive, and troll baiting. Portraying one race group as somehow superior/inferior to others is wrong. No group is prettier, smarter, more feminine, less feminine, whatever. There are millions of individuals in each group and for every generalization someone makes I gurantee there is a counter example.

    I met my husband in university, not a amwf group. Before I met my husband, I was in no way interested in asian cultures, kpop, kdramas, anime, or anything similar. I liked my husband because of his personality, not because he was just asian. Anyway, I was a member on a few AMWF pages and I found the groups to be just too much. The asian men highly sexualized white women, I got tons of PMs from,asian men wanting sex and being generally creepy, many were straight up fetishizing white women and it was very uncomfortable. The girls in the groups were not any better. Many of them constantly posted kpop/kdrama pics, constantly compared real life asian men to asian entertainers, fetishized asian men too. I found it incredibly weird, immature, and creepy. Some people were normal, they were just highly attracted to the other race, and wanted to meet likeminded.

    I think online is a fine way to meet. Ive always preferred asian men to white men, sexually they turn me on, I love the way they look, but in my home town, les than,1% of,people are asian. So if I were dating, I would have to,use online dating to meet asian men. Theres nothing wrong in being sexually attracted to a certain race, its a preference, everyone has sexual physical preferences in what they like and its normal. What isnt normal is only focusing on someones race as the only thing about that person.

    Reply
    • March 21, 2017 at 9:14 am
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      Oh man, I know about that whole K-drama/K-Pop/ and even J-Pop/J-drama (Japanese) thing, as well! I even dated a Korean girl for awhile, but our meeting had nothing to do with K-entertainment….But all that apparently still appeal throughout much of the East and Southeast Asian populations….

      Reply
  • February 12, 2015 at 7:09 am
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    I attended my first AMWF group this year in LA and it’s exactly like what the article said: a giant sausage fest with a bunch of weird Asian guys.

    The reason I went was because I had actually dated a girl from Brazil last year and it was an amazing relationship so I wanted to explore this more instead of dating Asian girls (who have gotten kind of boring to me). I met her randomly at a hostel in San Francisco so I didn’t use any of these groups lol.

    Anyway, from what I saw, it looked like an AA group for guys who were just terrible with women and made me cringe. If I was a woman, I would definitely stay away lol.

    I definitely agree with Kate – I’ve joined a few Facebook groups to see what the “community” was like. Again, usually the guys were weirdos and the girls fetish came from their obsession with Asian entertainment (thanks internet!).

    For me, I actually was more into Asian girls when I was younger and never really entertained the possibility of a relationship with a non-Asian girl. However, that one relationship really changed my outlook and made me want to explore more. I think that I’m just a contrarian and I just love doing stuff that is out of the norm. When people would stare, I would just be like “YEAH! AND WHAT!” lol

    Many times people just pair up with people of their own race or country because they speak the same language and share the value culture (especially if you move to a foreign country). They might not necessarily be the right fit but they don’t have access to the general dating pool due to language, culture etc.

    As a second generation American, I have the privilege to go outside my race and I think it would make things a lot more interesting :).

    P.S. I’m SO glad I was not born in China – those guys have it rough. Because of the one child policy and selective abortion, the gender ratio is skewed towards men, meaning many men will not be able to marry. Talk about a tough dating scene.

    Reply
  • November 18, 2015 at 1:00 pm
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    Most importantly, for any Asian men who are living in any western country, especially in the United States should improve their body, their styles, and go out to socialize with women no matter what.

    There’s simply no excuse for Asian guys to succumb to any speed-dating events that are designed and marketted to empty your pockets.

    Check out this posts on the truth about dating Caucasian females at http://malaysianstudent.com/dating-white-chicks/

    – MalaysianStudent.com

    Reply

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