My Chinese Husband's Vanity | Speaking of China

12 Responses

  1. Gerald
    Gerald June 6, 2011 at 3:51 am | | Reply

    I don’t think “vanity” quite captures it… there is a whole other dimension of how much more your self-worth is not how you yourself feel about yourself, but what others say and seem to think of you.

    Remember a time a teacher told you that you’ll never learn something, keeping you up worried for a night? Something like that would capture the way Chinese seem to approach their self-image…

  2. Laowai in Shanghai
    Laowai in Shanghai June 6, 2011 at 7:58 am | | Reply

    Oily hair was a huge problem I had in China, too! I found that the Herbaliost Shampoo and Conditioner for oily hair worked magic! It left my hair clean for 2 days even with the crappy shower we had. It is a bit expensive, but well worth it!

  3. Sarah
    Sarah June 6, 2011 at 10:44 am | | Reply

    Recently my boyfriend requested that I do not get any fatter and said that he wished I was thinner because he’s under social pressure. Even though my mom’s always been on my side, she made me feel that what he said was reasonable and I am just over reacting about it. I’m not sure what I feel…

  4. Crystal
    Crystal June 6, 2011 at 12:33 pm | | Reply

    Haha, now I know what to do!
    I need to nurture vanity in Eugene 🙂

  5. Claire
    Claire June 6, 2011 at 12:46 pm | | Reply

    Love this post. Now I know why my boyfriend was asking if I wanted my hair cutting and was suggesting how I could wear my hair when I last visited him…

    It makes me feel a bit sad whenever I read about how people dress so casually at Chinese weddings – I’m not sure if I would be able to go to a wedding and not dress up 🙁

  6. Woman
    Woman June 6, 2011 at 2:09 pm | | Reply

    I hate to actually admit to doing this…. but yes. I did that head cocking to the side and went ahhhh cute! But beyond my sudden girlieness… I do admire your relationship with John with his being able to admit to this many of the things you have told us about.

    Depending how how it has been brought up in the past I have either been extremly annoyed or happy about being asked to get dolled up.

  7. Susan Blumberg-Kason
    Susan Blumberg-Kason June 6, 2011 at 10:30 pm | | Reply

    Oh, that sounds all too familiar. The make-up and the weight issue that Sarah brought up. I used to let it get to me and would often feel like I wasn’t pretty or thin enough. I’ve grown up and have become more confident, but it’s definitely a cultural difference and I love Jocelyn’s go with the flow attitude!

    By the way, it’s good to know Chinese weddings are still informal!

  8. 静脉曲张
    静脉曲张 June 10, 2011 at 12:20 am | | Reply

    很久没来了 看看

  9. rhiannon
    rhiannon June 17, 2011 at 9:05 pm | | Reply

    he he he I love it!

  10. Jenna cody
    Jenna cody May 22, 2012 at 4:49 am | | Reply

    “well-educated (but not above him)” – this attitude would be a dealbreaker for me, culture differences be damned. I wouldn’t care oif a guy was better-educated than me but absolutely could not stay with a man who thought I, just for being the woman in the relationship, could not be better educated than him (regardless of whether or not I am). Just ’cause he’s got man parts and an ego. That relationship would be OVER before you could say 再見 or “byebye 囉".

    I know at least one guy in Taiwan who doesnt think this way and so others must be out there (not that I am looking!)

  11. Bruce
    Bruce May 22, 2012 at 9:08 pm | | Reply

    it’s okay now that women are more educated than men. Even educated people are not street smart and fast in figuring out problems/things. I’m the fastest person to see things will go wrong before anything can happen but I’m not the most educated 🙂 . hahhahah heheheheh lol. Being a good hearted person is all I ask for regardless of education. Losing weight is all about being very active, diet and will power. Don’t do it for others. Do it for yourself and then you will lose weight. Trust me I am an exercise freak! I’m stronger than men in their 20’s hahahah heeheh 🙂

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