Why I Don't Have the Luxury to Think "Marriage Is Outdated" | Speaking of China

7 Responses

  1. Nicki Chen
    Nicki Chen May 30, 2017 at 12:38 pm | | Reply

    The marriage vows don’t guarantee that a marriage will last forever. But for many of us who have taken them they’re significant. Before I said “yes” to Eugene, there were still some “maybes” in the air. I thought we might want to spend our lives together. But once the decision was made and then the vows were taken, we had entered another phase of our lives together. No more thinking about SHOULD we live together and start a family. Instead our minds were focused on HOW to make it all work. For me, the marriage ceremony was an outward sign of the firm decision we had made. Like a graduation ceremony, it made the milestone all the more real.

    And, of course, marriage sure helps with the visa problems.

  2. Autumn
    Autumn May 31, 2017 at 1:22 am | | Reply

    Good point. People often forget about the rights and privileges that come with a wedding ring — everything from gaining health insurance to being admitted to your loved one’s hospital room.

    Until they are denied those rights, of course.

  3. Marta
    Marta June 1, 2017 at 2:36 pm | | Reply

    When I was young(er), I wasn’t too interested in marriage either. I thought, people can just live together and even have children without needing to sign a contract. I know that’s a bit naive, but I just wasn’t interested in weddings. Worrying about what would happen if I lost my job, my work visa and the possibility of living in China with C. was what helped me reconsider… well, and also that he really wanted to get married.

    Is it still difficult for Chinese people to get visas for the US? In the EU it seems they are very interested in attracting deep-pocketed Chinese tourists so it’s fairly easy, fast and painless nowadays.

  4. MM
    MM June 5, 2017 at 3:48 am | | Reply

    Pfft Chinese men should ALL go MGTOW China is next to Russia. Surrogacy is legal there. After 100s of job interview dates, bananarangs, gold diggers, psychopaths it is the ONLY winning move that is not to play

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