From the Archives: On Finding Courage in Love

A sign taped to a Canada Post box saying "Courage - take as much as you need."
(photo by AshtonPal)

So, we moved this past Friday for the second time this year. But different circumstances precipitated this move: someone I know (don’t worry, it’s NOT my husband John!) assaulted me, and it was no longer safe to live where we were. John and I are now settled in a safer place.

The other day, John told me it took courage for us to leave. So, while I get myself readjusted and resettled here, I thought I’d share with you some stories from my archives, all surrounding the idea of finding courage in love.

Three Inches of Separation: On Loving a Shorter Chinese Man. You might say it takes courage to transcend your own expectations of what your dream man “should be.” I never set any limits on race or ethnicity, but always believed I’d marry someone taller. Then I met John.

Ask the Yangxifu: Chinese Student Wants to Approach American Brunette. “To hell with inhibitions.” With these four words from a reader’s e-mail, a Chinese guy inspired Asian men everywhere to give interracial love a go.

My Chinese Husband Has Balls. You might say John’s gentle appearance is his secret weapon. Behind that 5’4″ stature and soft voice of his lies the heart of a hero — and some serious balls.

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17 thoughts on “From the Archives: On Finding Courage in Love

  • September 10, 2012 at 3:14 am
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    Assault? That’s not good…I hope you’re okay. I’m not a big believer in G-d, (although he gave me an odd protection last two weeks,) but I do hope that good things will happen to you and John.

    Few weeks back I met a Korean guy online and he was literally a pest. (Called every single day or what seemed to be every single hour…grrr, even when I told him that I’d have plans hanging out with a friend he still called…) We talked on the phone and even then didn’t seem right for one another (he didn’t want kids, while I had was one, and I love literature and history while he didn’t like the subjects and so forth.) That first weekend we didn’t meet due to my parents’ insistence. (Nothing against his ethnicity, just the fact he wanted to get back with his ex.) We scheduled to meet next week, which would be few days back, but his car broke down and he told me that he had something wrong with him which he got from his father. When I asked him over the phone what it was, he admitted he had hepatitis B. When I mentioned my folks that piece of news, they were in shock and mentioned I couldn’t see him at all. I could talk to him on the phone, just couldn’t see him. He didn’t take the news well and that’s that.

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  • September 10, 2012 at 3:15 am
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    *sorry, while I wanted kids, that’s what I meant.

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  • September 10, 2012 at 9:40 am
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    Assault? I hope the worst case is someone hit you or threw something at you for being with a Chinese guy..and nothing more than that! This is not good!

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  • September 10, 2012 at 9:58 am
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    I hope the assault was not because of IR thing. Whatever, assault is a no-no. Sorry to hear about it. Be careful and take good care.

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    • September 10, 2012 at 10:34 am
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      @Sveta, David and Ordinary Malaysian, thanks so much for your concern. It actually had nothing to do with my relationship with John; it was just someone who was mentally unstable and a loose cannon. This person acted in a way which caused me to realize they were violent and capable of doing bodily harm to me. I decided not to stay to find out just what sort of harm they were capable of.

      Reply
  • September 10, 2012 at 11:17 am
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    Jocelyn,

    I think it’s time for you to buy a lottery ticket. Yes , go buy one at the supermarket today. Some year we do have bad luck.

    Bruce

    Reply
  • September 10, 2012 at 12:21 pm
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    See, others will give us problems even we sit in our chair! I always want to do happy things. Finding ways to handle stress and problems will make you a happier person. Problems are surrounding us 24/7 so help yourself find peace within you.

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  • September 10, 2012 at 6:19 pm
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    Glad to hear that it had nothing to do with your relationship with John. Wise that you have moved. You don’t want to live near someone like that. Well, go get yourself a lottery ticket like Bruce has suggested. Maybe it’s your lucky move this time! Well, take care!

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  • September 10, 2012 at 8:58 pm
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    A relationship is what you make out of it ;however, something is really hard to avoid troubles. I’ve always been nice to people and I get carried away sometimes so people come back to bite you. This society is not perfect. No matter how wonderful you treat these people, they might come back to give you trouble. They can cause you your career if you’re not careful. I’m going to buy myself a lottery ticket tomorrow. How can I/we have bad luck yr round this yr ? ( bad luck period). It’s very hard to get off this rat race! Have a backup plan and just enjoy life everyday like the last day. Life is short!!

    Sveta,
    I think you are a cute woman. Hopefully, you’ll find a prince charming this yr.

    Bruce

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  • September 10, 2012 at 9:44 pm
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    Whoever assaulted you deserves arrest. Hope the move could avoid these type of situation. Good to know it was not very serious. Wish your guys the best. Take care.

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  • September 10, 2012 at 9:57 pm
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    Glad to hear you guys are fine though. Hope things turn around for you soon!

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  • September 11, 2012 at 2:56 am
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    Courage is a wonderful word, it can refer to something big or something small and yet the fear, debates and uncertainties we feel and face is the same.
    Partners encourage “courage” in one another and this gives strength to achieve change or to go after something that you may not have otherwise.
    Take care of yourselves!

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  • September 11, 2012 at 5:23 pm
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    Sorry to hear about what happened to you. I am happy to hear you are safe.

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  • September 12, 2012 at 3:16 am
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    Had a similar experience several years ago when I was knocked down by a homeless and mentally unstable man trying to steal my bag. Although the neighborhood shopkeepers came to my defense when they heard me scream, we decided to move out of that area as well. Glad you are ok and I think moving was probably a smart idea.

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  • September 12, 2012 at 3:24 am
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    …SORRY This is happening in China?
    ………….Each country
    Will be some garbage
    ……

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  • September 15, 2012 at 5:41 am
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    Jocelyn!

    I’m so sorry to hear what happened to you. I’m glad you’re in a better place now and safe. What on Earth is happening with people? And someone you know, no less. Jeez!

    Reply
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