The Grass is Greener?: when the romance ends, and China's reality begins | Speaking of China

9 Responses

  1. Aaron
    Aaron December 14, 2009 at 1:02 am | | Reply

    love your website and your stories.
    wish more people know China more.

  2. Han Hu
    Han Hu December 14, 2009 at 7:27 am | | Reply

    As soon as the whirlwind romance turned into a steady relationship, I began noticing all the hurdles that my minority boyfriend and I would have to face. Of course, some of the obstacles were expected, but dealing with the convoluted bureaucracy has been more trying than I would have imagined. After a year of working on it, we still have our fingers crossed that he’ll get a passport within the next six months (and he’s an educated, law-abiding citizen!). And that’s only been the least of our troubles.

  3. Bill Rich
    Bill Rich December 14, 2009 at 11:27 am | | Reply

    It is just too bad that the China you love was in the past. It is not the China you live in now. Good luck with the green card.

  4. Karla
    Karla December 14, 2009 at 2:48 pm | | Reply

    Hi Jocelyn, Your stories are fascinating…keep writing! Your old friend, Karla 🙂

  5. ellen
    ellen December 15, 2009 at 9:07 am | | Reply

    Hi Jocelyn!
    Your writing is so relatable! Like you, I’m married to a Chinese man.
    This post sounds familiar…
    It’s just very sad that not everybody has the same amount of freedom in this world… To travel, to get married, to invite your parents to visit you on the other side of the world…it takes a lot of bureaucracy (bureaucrazy I’d say!), patience, and depending on the goodwill of others…
    My husband wants to keep his Chinese passport, cause he’s proud of his nationality, and I totally support him, but sometimes I can’t help but thinking how much more convenient an other nationality would be! A pity that the Chinese government doesn’t allow double nationalities….
    Thanks for sharing your experiences, they’re great reads!
    Oh, and ps: my Chinese mother in law calls me Ailing, quite similar to your alter ego 🙂
    Greetings from Antwerp, Belgium,
    Ellen

  6. Thandelike
    Thandelike December 17, 2009 at 5:43 am | | Reply

    It sure is instructive to witness how a country’s history, internal culture and status in the world makes life for its citizens difficult — or for people from superpower or favored nations (Singapore is the ‘most welcome’ passport in the world I’ve heard), easy as the case may be…

  7. melanie gao
    melanie gao December 17, 2009 at 5:48 am | | Reply

    My Chinese hubby wants to keep his Chinese passport too and I love that about him. For better or for worse he loves his country, and I love it too.

    And FWIW, I don’t think this piece is especially dark. I didn’t think that about the renovation piece either. Please keep the great posts coming.

  8. pug_ster
    pug_ster December 17, 2009 at 11:47 am | | Reply

    Yeah unfortunately, the US don’t hand out green cards like candy. My cousin, who has a green card, is in the process of getting his wife a green card in China. Unfortunately, he works in a job that pays under the table and has to get my brother’s pay stubs to prove that my cousin can financially take care of himself.

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