Is Interracial Dating Easier for Asian Men in Non-English-Speaking Countries? | Speaking of China

45 Responses

  1. Autumn
    Autumn October 17, 2016 at 8:20 am | | Reply

    I’d believe it. Especially given the amount of dormant racism that has been stirred up by Brexit and Donald Trump.

    1. Jon
      Jon October 17, 2016 at 12:56 pm | | Reply

      Why are we in the US? 🙁

      1. David
        David October 20, 2016 at 10:04 pm | | Reply

        “Why are we in the US?”

        My question is where in the US do you live before I say it is a good question….However, I do believe this happens more often than not…

      2. Jennifer
        Jennifer December 30, 2016 at 1:36 am | | Reply

        Jon:

        Ha! I like the YouTube channel that you and your wife have. I’m really enjoying the AMWF: How we met Chinese Husband American Wife. You two have a great sense of humor.

    2. David
      David October 20, 2016 at 10:02 pm | | Reply

      Do not think it is helping in non-English speaking white countries such as Austria or Switzerland where anti foreigner (read that anti non-white or even anti white Brit since Brexit) sentiment is extremely high.

  2. Svetlana
    Svetlana October 17, 2016 at 8:53 am | | Reply

    Although I don’t watch Russian dramas, I recall in the past when my folks have watched hem, there are a few (one or two I caught) where here was Asian male white female pairing. Unfortunately there are negative stereotypes when it comes to Asian people. (One being the Russian name for Asians is offensive, and stories of Asians’ diet stereotypes…) but it is interesting that a lot of women who are into Asian men are from Eastern Europe or of minority populations, at least in my knowledge.

    1. David
      David October 20, 2016 at 10:07 pm | | Reply

      Parts of Eastern Europe such as Hungary under Orban and the current Polish government are significantly more racist than twenty years ago. Russia is becoming very racist recently and Trump has a lot of Russian nationalist supporters. Strange, Poles want to be considered as white, but they are spat upon and beaten up in the UK. Among the East European countries, Bulgaria probably is the least racist. Among western Europeans it is probably the Portuguese and the Spanish…because folks with Spanish or Portuguese sounding last names are no longer accepted as white in America even if they look totally white!

  3. Nicki Chen
    Nicki Chen October 17, 2016 at 12:52 pm | | Reply

    I don’t know what the trouble is in English speaking countries. In the US it would probably help the Asian male image if we had more male Asian sports stars, music stars, and leads in action movies and TV. Those are the kinds of things that attract attention here. I’m not saying it makes sense, but …

    1. KM
      KM October 18, 2016 at 1:44 am | | Reply

      @Nicki Chen ~ Think about this. When you talk about big Asian movie stars people will invariably say Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee died nearly 50 years ago. It’s been that long since we’ve had any sort of positive media representation…

      Even Bruce was rubbished when they replaced him in Kung Fu with a whiteman.

  4. Jon
    Jon October 17, 2016 at 1:01 pm | | Reply

    Thank you for sharing all the info! very interesting indeed. It’s sad with all the politics going on in the US, it’s definitely not helping the Asian men here. I think another place that is more open to Asian men than the US is Canada! It is definitely more multi-culture and diverse than the US.

  5. MK Lim
    MK Lim October 17, 2016 at 3:33 pm | | Reply

    I think a lot of it has to do with what one is exposed to. Prior to living in China, I was not particularly attracted to Asian men. My hometown was not that diverse and while I went to a large, diverse university my social group was primarily racially white. Yet after a few years living in China I found myself more and more attracted to Asian men, and now I’m married to a Korean American!

    One of the great things of globalization is exposure to people and cultures you would have otherwise not known of. Hopefully this will one day end the negative, inappropriate biases toward Asian men.

    1. Jonathan
      Jonathan October 18, 2016 at 1:54 am | | Reply

      That is great to hear. I think what it comes down to is that not only you get expose to different cultures but also willing to learn and experience. That’s how you break barrier, clear misunderstanding, and create new relationships.

  6. George
    George October 17, 2016 at 6:06 pm | | Reply

    Indeed, this is no secret to me. Having been born and raised in Panama, lived in Taiwan and Brazil, dating for me has been extremely easy in foreign countries. And, as I’ve seen, much easier for Asian men in general.

    But then, dating hasn’t been difficult at all in New York and New Jersey. I’ve always believed that you’ll get what you want as long as you express interest. A few rejections here and there but that applies to everyone.

    Hmm, come to think about it, maybe I need a reality check. I have heard of dating sites and their statistics of how Black women and Asian men receive the least responses. And, at times, I do think that a walk through New York City streets will show a disproportion of white men with Asian women compared to their Asian men with white female counterparts. And lets not even talk about slimy place called Hollywood.

    So maybe there is a dating bias against Asian men. I guess. But then I’ve never seen a scientific study confirming that. Is there one? Come to think about it, there probably is. Too bad since I know that Asian men are very responsible partners. Oh well, part of the world misses out on a good family man.

  7. Henry Yeh
    Henry Yeh October 17, 2016 at 10:20 pm | | Reply

    My personal experience is rather limited (since I never lived outside of Hispanic-dominant areas), but as far as Asian men are concerned, it’s a bit more complicated than that. I’ve been told that Down Dundah, despite its reputation of racism, actually treat Asian men somewhat better than in the US.
    The US had a long history of institutional racism that somehow shaped its culture (that race determined one’s socio-cultural/economical/political status), but it’s shedding that unpleasant historical baggage rapidly. The fact that H. Clinton has a comfortable lead over Trump seems to indicate such.
    UK is a big enigma to me. The fact that it abolished institutional racism centuries before the US seem to indicate a more enlightened populace. But US cultural influence may have set it back slightly. Still it may not be quite as bad as the US; yet I’ve told that most white Brit women who married “coloured” men are either Celts, Catholics, or other more recent Euro immigrants: anything but English.

    1. David
      David October 20, 2016 at 10:52 pm | | Reply

      White English girls are generally racist but are so are many white women from anywhere in the world! These days in England, white English who marry Poles or any East European including Hungarians is looked down upon. So Poles and Hungarians may consider themselves white, but many English consider them “people of color”. The English really hate the East Europeans.

  8. 贝妮
    贝妮 October 17, 2016 at 11:50 pm | | Reply

    I never thought about it this way! It’s so interesting to see that people seem to favor Asian men if they’re not in an English Speaking country (I’m an exception hahaha), but do you guys have an article about ambw (Asian men Black woman) relationships and why is it not so common? As a Black girl who typically likes Asians, it’s interesting to see that Asians always seem to date other Asians or white girls (as I mainly see). Why is that?

    1. Jonathan
      Jonathan October 18, 2016 at 2:04 am | | Reply

      I am sorry to hear that 贝妮. Unfortunately, that is the case in general.
      I think racism against Black or dark-skin people is still pretty common in Asian societies, not just in the US. A lot of the older generations still think Black is a lower class, which makes me mad. It’s great to see more and more AMBW couples and in fact there are quite a few on Instagram and youtube channels.
      It’s a progress and it will take time. We should teach our kids that love has no color.

    2. David
      David October 20, 2016 at 10:54 pm | | Reply

      Why is that? Racism plain and simple!

  9. KM
    KM October 18, 2016 at 1:31 am | | Reply

    I’m going to be crude here…but what the hell worst that happens is I get banned.

    Gee what great advice! So essentially you’re telling us to become sexpats?

    You know what I mean. To exploit global poverty to get our wicks wet? All of those nations mentioned as great to go to are dirt poor. France is an exception but there is significant poverty in France too which we’ll come to later on.

    Great advice there… but there’s things called STANDARDS and INTEGRITY.

    Anyway here is the thing. As a Chinese man the world is your oyster IF you lower your standards considerably.

    Sexpats in Thailand, Philippines do exactly this and reduce their standards to the floor. This is why they’ll date desperate individuals such as prostitutes, hookers, bar girls and women who are not desired for one reason or another and exploit Christmas cake (once you’re over 25 you’ve hit the wall). So your trash ESL teacher thinks wow I’m so desired! When really all that’s happened is he’s got no standards and is dating a woman who has been with 100s if not 1000s of men.

    Your Chinese man can do exactly this too in WESTERN NATIONS. You see in western nations there is still the notion of class. In the UK there are sink estates and entire cities devoid of opportunity. The big employer leaves town and the town decays uncontrollably.

    A young man can join the army or take on welfare. They often do this is why you see army recruitment centres in areas of poverty.

    A woman can go be a prostitute or get pregnant and go on welfare for the next 20 years. The getting pregnant is shockingly one of the better options.

    Asian men (UK means Pakistan, India, Bangladesh) do well with poor young white women in such areas like Rotherham sink estates. I don’t mean rape or anything they do well because they will lower their standards and culturally they consider people not to be of their kind to be inferior anyway.

    So sure there is plenty of Mcdonalds hamburger around if you want it… however standards generally mean Chinese don’t eat Mcdonalds hamburger and probably want steak instead.

    As I said crude but the truth.

    1. David
      David October 20, 2016 at 11:00 pm | | Reply

      “Your Chinese man can do exactly this too in WESTERN NATIONS. ”

      Try what the white man does to Asian women to white women in Athens, GA or Tuscaloosa, AL.you will hang from a tree!

      “the UK there are sink estates and entire cities devoid of opportunity. The big employer leaves town and the town decays uncontrollably.”

      Who asked the people to vote for Brexit? All the white English want is a one way street. The right to live and work abroad without any reciprocity. Soon the pound will be at parity with the dollar!

  10. Miriam
    Miriam October 19, 2016 at 4:11 pm | | Reply

    Such a thought provoking and interesting post! What food for thought there is here. It reminds me of a great Ted called ‘the single story’ https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.

    The speaker spoke specifically about the American media (although it applies in Britain as well as far as I can see) and how it’s almost exclusively stereotypes that get widely represented in the media. When only such a narrow section of humanity is represented on TV, in films, magazines everyone starts to think that stereotypes are ‘normal’ and if they don’t look/live like what they see in the media then they are somehow ‘abnormal’. I imagine in countries that are more inclusive and less discriminating the media has less influence than in the English speaking world.

  11. LoLai
    LoLai October 20, 2016 at 1:30 pm | | Reply

    I think things are changing, even in English-speaking places (although gradually, I’m sure).
    I am living in Hong Kong, and I have noticed a big increase in AMWF couples in the last few years. And the white woman are often English speakers. Some of them are living here but I have seen quite a few who appear to be on holiday, and the Asian guy is showing the girl around (the ones I noticed are most often from the UK or US).
    There are definitely more now than six years ago. So…hopefully the tide is turning?

    1. David
      David October 20, 2016 at 11:02 pm | | Reply

      It is Hong Kong…not a white English speaking country, not even a white country although some Hong Kong and Singapore Chinese women may think they are white!

  12. David
    David October 20, 2016 at 10:00 pm | | Reply

    Easier in Asian countries such as Singapore than in white countries. Also easier in Asian regions of white countries such as Vancouver or Honolulu.

    The second issue at least in the UK is difficulty in getting Visa for spouses.

  13. LoLai
    LoLai October 21, 2016 at 12:40 am | | Reply

    As I said, David, many of them are on holiday so FROM English speaking countries. So they met in those countries, not in Hong Kong. And others live in Hong Kong, but they are still white women from Anglophone countries.

    1. David
      David October 21, 2016 at 4:19 am | | Reply

      If on holiday, they are probably just having a fling particularly the English females.

  14. Mal
    Mal October 21, 2016 at 3:38 am | | Reply

    Most of the War were fought by Anglo-english speakers with Asian countries.This is also the reason y Enlish speakers people has a negagive view. plus the main reason is cultural imperialism. Asian are the only one’s who still face cultural imperialism since when do u hear whites saying when Indians,Africans,Arabs become westernised? its only about Chinese,Japanese, koreanss becomming more westernised

  15. Fred
    Fred October 21, 2016 at 4:10 am | | Reply

    I can say with some degree of confidence that South America with those Latin countries is probably easier for the Asian man. I spoke to my wife who is from Brazil and she said that racism is not very prevalent there and that dating between various races does not seem to be an issue like it is in the English speaking countries.

  16. K.
    K. October 30, 2016 at 6:11 pm | | Reply

    Hi Jocelyn!
    From my experience, I would mostly confirm what you wrote. I am an European girl and my boyfriend is Asian and we have lived in Central Europe and France so far. I had never heard about all these stereotypes concerning Asian men and was quite shocked when I read about it online for the first time. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years now, and we have never encountered any racism towards us, and we’ve been to countries like Hungary, Austria, Germany, the Czech Republic. Sometimes we get curious looks, but never more than that.
    On the other hand, I would not confirm that Asian-male-white-female couples are as common as Asian-female-white-male couples. In my experience, you can still see a lot more of the latter.

    1. Fred
      Fred October 31, 2016 at 11:33 pm | | Reply

      Hi K,

      I send my praises to the French people for not holding such negative views of people such as Asians. Viva France!!!!!!

      Fred

  17. Aorijia
    Aorijia November 2, 2016 at 12:52 am | | Reply

    I’d have a guess and say than, in a few years time, as the popularity of Asian cultural exports keeps rising (music, TV shows and so on), Asian men will not be considered “undateable” anymore and all the negative stereotypes will be replaced (possibly by new stereotypes, with many Western women longing for a perfectly unreal “oppa”).

    I live in Spain with my Chinese husband (12 years together, 2 kids) and heads turn whenever we step out… Have I encountered stereotypes/racism? Oh, yes, too often (I’m also counting “positive” stereotyping here, like “oh, he must be so hardworking!”). There aren’t many ASWF couples here. He works for a very big Chinese company, and in his office there’s only another ASWF couple (and there are over 1000 employees!).

    We have traveled to many European countries together and I didn’t get the impression that things worked differently for Asian men. I’m glad to read in the comments that many readers have never encountered stereotyping in their countries.

    1. KM
      KM November 2, 2016 at 4:21 am | | Reply

      @Aorijia I doubt it. It will be 2-30000 years before there is any meaningful change.

      I’m not kidding. Think about it nasty negative stereotypes are STILL common on US TV and openly used. The other day Jeremy Lin was said to have a small dick.

      This was last week. Your Hapa children will be relentlessly bullied and accepted by neither group either.

  18. Leena-Maaretta Dixon
    Leena-Maaretta Dixon December 1, 2016 at 5:06 am | | Reply

    As a white Finnish-American living in Sweden with a chinese boyfriend, I would say that ´the attitude towards Asian men is mixed. I´ve talked to many white women who have said they find Asian men unattractive, but on the other hand I´ve also seen many AMWF couples while walking in town.

  19. Rob
    Rob December 4, 2016 at 2:52 pm | | Reply

    America is a tough place socially for an Asian man. The media is controlled by white men and their only intention to promote white males with everyone else be damned. The movies, TV, and everything here caters to white men. Every girl living in the West are exposed to stereotypes of Asians since birth. For Asian women, it is all about hypersexialization. White men love to use Asian women and shovel that to white feminists’ faces. Since many white guys have yellow fever, most images of Asian women images on TV and in the movies are with white men. For Asian guys, it is all about emasculation to dehumanize Asian men as much as possible. Even to this day, there are so many examples of media microaggressions against Asians daily on TV. One volunteer site started tracking some of these subtle racial stereotypes against Asians. Check out http://www.kulturemedia.org/page-about-us.php

    These brainwashing images have lasting effects on Asian men. Most women that have negative stereotypes against Asian men probably never dated one or even interacted with Asian men.

    As someone who traveled quite a bit and been to Brazil, I can tell you first hand dating for Asian men is 10x easier in Brazil vs. USA. USA is just a racist country controlled by white men whose only interest is promoting white male supremacy while dehumanizing everyone that’s a threat to white male masculinity. While many white guys don’t know or care about this, but they benefited from this regardless because of the media brainwashing here.

    I don’t know if things will get better. USA just elected Trump. Alt right is feeling all powerful and racists are coming out of woodworks in the USA. It is hard to predict what the future will hold. Some people, if they want to, have access to Asian dramas etc. Women that watch Asian dramas regularly tend to see Asian guys not as stereotypes but just as men. Hopefully, things will get better for Asian guys but battling Hollywood white male propaganda 24×7 is pretty difficult.

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