Interview with Yuan Fu, the official translator for Speaking of China – 采访付远,《谈中国》的官方翻译

For the past year, Yuan Fu, a native of Shandong Province, has graciously volunteered his time to help translate a variety of posts on Speaking of China into Chinese. I thought, wouldn’t it be interesting to get to know the guy behind the translations? (I admit, even I was interested in knowing more about this fellow who magically appeared in my e-mail inbox one day, offering his talents to Speaking of China.)

So I put together this interview with Yuan Fu. As it turns out, Yuan is one fascinating and incredibly funny guy — his answers had me laughing out loud at times. I’ve provided his original Chinese responses below (he answered my English interview in Chinese — for those of you who can read Chinese, his answers are best in his native language); otherwise, you’ll have to forgive me for the simple translation of his answers into English. Trust me, if you can read the Chinese, you’ll understand just why he’s such a whiz with words. 

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You’ve volunteered your talents to help speakingofchina.com translate many wonderful posts into Chinese. Tell us about how you came to find this website and what motivated you to translate content for it.

I don’t consider myself a “volunteer”; I’m just one shrewd “businessman!” That’s because Speaking of China gave me more than I could possibly offer. So if there’s someone I should thank, it’s Jocelyn and her website!

I’ve always loved words and have been weaker with numbers. From elementary school I’ve been far more passionate about writing, even though only I think the articles read well. In contrast, I could barely pass mathematics by memorizing formulas. I really like feeling as if I’m “flirting” with readers through words. When you know that simply adjusting a word or phrase can completely change the reader’s experience, that feeling is really amazing. Ironically, after I graduated I staggered into profession of auditing, a world of figures 24 hours a day. So working for Speaking of China has become really important for me. After a day of getting “bombed” by worksheets, Speaking of China gives me a thread of breathing space and for the first time, provides me with readers. This is an essential change. I really cherish this opportunity.

Of course I also await the day when I will finally meet a girl who shares my ambitions and outlook on life. Among the girls who visit Speaking of China, if they’re not interested in AMWF then they’re interested in language. That’s perfect for me. In light of the fact that I often feel overwhelmed whenever I’m together with a girl I’m attracted to, I’ve learned to be careful, so I hide behind the computer. If I give it my all, who’s to say one day the perfect girl will actively find me?

Finally and most important, I’ve noticed that a lot of young Chinese guys have this kind of demand, but they don’t have a platform where they can be heard. I hope Speaking of China’s Chinese version will change that a little – that they’re not freaks in the world of love and marriage. Many of us have the same thought. If you love foreign girls then you should confidently go after them! Speaking of China can provide you with suggestions in this respect and even real-life love stories. I look forward to the future when we can receive many more “Double Happiness” stories from young Chinese men!

我不认为自己是“志愿者”,而更像位精明的“生意人”,因为 SOC给我的要远多于我能提供的。所以,如果有谁要感谢,那就是Jocelyn和她的网站。

我一直喜爱文字而弱于数字,自小学起便热衷于写那种自认为“很通顺的”文章,而对于数学则基本靠强记各种公式涉险过关。我很喜欢通过文字与读者“调情”的感觉,当你知道自己只要调整一个词或一句话就可以完全改变读者的阅读体验时,那种感觉真的很棒。讽刺的是,毕业后我却跌跌撞撞入了审计—这一24小时和数字打交道的行业,于是为SOC工作就显得至关重要了。她使我从每天的“报表轰炸”中得到一丝喘息并让我平生第一次有了真正的读者,这是质的变化,我珍惜这一机会。

我当然也期待着结识志同道合的妹子。在这潜水的姑娘如果不是对AMWF有意就是对语言感兴趣,这很对我的口味。鉴于每当和一些来电的姑娘相处时就会overwhelmed,我现在学乖了,躲在电脑这边码字,如果我尽心竭力,说不定哪天妹子就送上门来了呢。

最后也是最重要的,我注意到很多中国小伙子有这样的需求,却没有像样的发声平台。希望SOC中文版的出现能改变这一点—他们并不是情场或婚姻中的怪胎或异类,我们许多人有同样的想法。如果喜欢外国姑娘就大大方方地去追,SOC会在这里提供建议并分享那些真实的浪漫故事,期待着未来能收到更多写自小伙子们的“双喜”(Double-Happiness)故事。

You actually work as an audit trainee for an accounting firm. How do you make time to translate posts?

For that we should thank the horrible traffic situation, the crowded streets and buses – that’s where I’ve finished most of the translations! Just like Ford and his Model T, I “assemble” each article in my mind starting with the easiest and most fascinating parts and then the more challenging parts of the articles. This whole process – starting from nothing to a finished product – is always exciting to me.

“Accuracy, expressiveness, elegance” is the highest standard for translation but I cannot reach it. Instead I strive to preserve a certain amount of character in the articles, (kind of like when, after suffering for a long week at work and finally making it to Friday, you can actually relax). I’m very clear about my own abilities, you don’t even need to mention the enormous gap between me and translation professionals. In front of those readers who are very serious about language, I appear like “Cub Scout” with this hobby of translation. However, with time I will improve.

那我们得感谢这里糟糕的交通状况,拥挤马路上拥挤的公交车,我大多数翻译就是这样完成的。就像福特生产T型车那样,我将文章从脑海中“组装”起来,先从最容易有趣的部分开始,然后是稍显晦涩的语段。这一从无到有的过程总是让我兴奋。

“信、达、雅” 这一翻译的最高境界我现在是做不到的,但我仍力求保持一定的风格,就是那种上班族在煎熬的周五读后能呵呵一笑的感觉。我很清楚自己几斤几两,不要说和专业人士有天上地下的差距,就是在那些对语言真正认真的读者面前也像“童子军”一样业余,不过假以时日,我会进步的。

You studied abroad at Cardiff University in Wales. Could you share with us your most interesting experience or experiences there?

During our graduation trip we went to Loch Ness in Scotland. That sturdy captain of the ship spooked everyone into keeping their eyes glued to the sonar screen, because the Loch Ness Monster could at any time overturn the boat. In reality this was completely unnecessary, as the Loch Ness Monster was in all of the gift shops – just 15 pounds and you can bring one home. If you buy more there’s a discount. And the “Made in China” tag left on each of them would make you realize they were Asian.

Similarly this street of luxury goods in Oxford was completely occupied by Asian merchants. Seeing this in the small village of Oxford made me suddenly feel like I was back in Beijing’s Wangfujing shopping area; I even wondered if there was someone selling fried flatbread. As it turns out the place only had French hot dogs for sale, and the taste only proved that the technique of these young Frenchmen couldn’t compare to those Henan women selling fried flatbread (for one yuan more they’ll add an egg to it).

Besides the sights and scenery, England’s good regulations gave me a deep impression. For example, how motorized vehicles must yield to pedestrians or how medical services could really be free (despite the fact they weren’t always the most efficient). Of course everything the English people now enjoy comes from the hard efforts of the previous generations, benefiting from how they became industrialized in the 19th century. They’ve waded through war, endured a recession and the inhumanity of Imperial England. So we have nothing to envy. Maybe the hard work of this generation of Chinese will give their children a better country, don’t you think? Those of us born in the 1990s should be thankful for the many things we have received from previous generations.

Yes, until this day I still regret that I haven’t dated anyone. This makes me feel as if I spent all of that university tuition for nothing. Ha ha!

毕业旅行我们去了苏格兰的尼斯湖,白白胖胖的船东吓唬大家要紧盯声呐屏幕,因为湖怪随时可能掀翻小艇。事实证明这完全多此一举,因为尼斯湖小怪兽充斥在大大小小的纪念品店中,15镑就能搂一个回家,要是多买还能打折。留意一下铭牌你就会发现甚至它们也是有亚洲血统的—Made in China.

同样被亚裔面孔占领的还有号称奢侈品一条街的比斯特,踏入这个牛津郡的小村子我恍然以为回到了北京的王府井,于是思量着能不能在下一个街角找到卖煎饼果子的。结果是比斯特只提供一种法式热狗,而事实也证明法国小哥的手艺比不上卖煎饼果子的河南大姐,1块钱还可以加个蛋。

除了山水风物,英国良好的秩序让我印象深刻。比如机动车真的会给行人让路,比如医疗真的会是免费的,尽管效率不甚高。当然英国人民现在享有的一切来自他们祖辈的付出,得益于他们在19世纪就完成的工业化,他们也趟过了战争,熬过了衰退与没人性的“镀金时代”。所以没什么可嫉妒的,或许这一代中国人的努力就能使我们的子孙生活在一个更美好的国家,不是吗?应该感恩的是,我们90后已经从前辈身上得到了许多。

是的,我至今对没有谈一场恋爱懊悔不已,这让我感觉自己所有的学费都打了水漂 哈哈。

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Why did you choose to return to China after your studies?

I think it’s because my visa was going to expire, ha ha! What’s interesting is that in England when I tried really hard to find work there, more than once I heard locals complain “they’ve already had enough” of this country that in my mind appears very well developed. There was even one Londoner who sent me a text message when I was boarding my plane: he is returning to Shanghai, and he persuaded me to quickly leave this “sinking” country. The very concerned tone of his message made me feel as if I had just missed Heathrow’s last “Noah’s Ark”. I think he’s not wrong in what he said. Immigration moves from a place you are tired of to a place someone else is tired of. Still that Londoner doesn’t realize that Shanghai is the eponymous “sinking” place because the ground there cannot handle the massive weight of Pudong’s skyscrapers. Fortunately this process can be controlled!

我想是因为我的签证过期了 哈哈。有趣的是当我挖空心思想在英国谋一份差事时,不止一个当地人抱怨 “他们已经受够了”这个在我看来各方面都很成熟的国家。 甚至一位伦敦老哥登机前还短信我:他要回上海了,奉劝我也麻利儿离开那个下沉的(sinking)国家,那番语重心长的口气就像我刚刚错过了希斯罗(Heathrow)的最后一班诺亚方舟。看来那句话果真没错–移民就是从你呆烦了的地方跑到别人呆烦的地方去。不过那位老哥有所不知,上海才是名副其实的“下沉”,因为那里的地质无法承受浦东天量的摩天大楼,还好这一进程是可控的!

You’re currently single, but you’ve told me you hope someday you want to marry a Western woman. Why?

First off, because you’re so beautiful. Second…aiya, I think the first reason is enough for me, ha ha! Foreign women have provided many thoughts and ideas that aren’t in my culture and circle of friends – this is something that matters to me. I started to realize that there are some things you shouldn’t care too much about while there are other things worth pursuing. In our lives we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves most of the time – we really can just not worry too much about it and move at a slower pace. Regarding “doing what you’re passionate about” or because you love a specific field so while studying you focus on that area, now it seems this is no big problem. Simply put, I discovered some values that resonated with me. I admit, my initial reason for liking foreign girls is because of their pretty looks, but now I’ve discovered many more reasons that go beyond your appearance.

One of my deepest impressions is the alcohol tolerance of foreign women. Once we went out to drink beer with some very petite German girls. After their “warmup” stage was over, I was already very inebriated. Sorry everyone, I think I just made Shandong men lose face.

第一,因为你们很漂亮。第二,哎呀,好像第一条对我就足够了 哈哈。外国姑娘提供了许多我的文化和生活圈子中没有的思路和想法,这是我看重的。我开始知道有些东西不必太在意而有些东西更值得坚持一下。生命中大多数时候我们都不必对自己太狠,真的可以不着急慢慢来。至于“从心所欲”,或者因为喜欢某一领域而在学生时代偏科,现在看来也都不是什么了不起的罪过了。简而言之,我找到了某种价值观上的共鸣。我承认,喜欢外国姑娘的初衷是因为她们俊俏的模样,但现在,我看到了更多超越外貌的理由。

印象深刻的还有她们的酒量,当时我们和几位 “小号的”德国姑娘喝酒,当她们的 “热身”环节结束时,我已经是天旋地转了。对不起大家,我给咱山东爷们丢了脸。

Describe the woman of your dreams!

Actually I’m very interested in Jocelyn, but I don’t know if John will mind. At least China prohibits guns, ha ha!

Just kidding! I mean to say, I hope I can find a foreign girl who is as interested in Chinese culture as Jocelyn is. And if she also loves Mandarin and even wants to become a translator or interpreter, that would be perfect. I can definitely be a big help to her! You see, the fascinating thing about China is that, first it is quite ancient and yet it has changed very quickly. So no matter whether you are a historian with your head buried in the old pages of our history or you want to do something modern or different, you can basically find your place here in China. So to all of the girls living in the first world, if you come over to our third world for a turn you’ll find it’s very fascinating.

Or maybe we ought to talk about what kind of person I am – anyone who loves my kind of personality is also that kind of girl I’m looking for.

I have some really cool friends in my life. These people don’t just live well, they also can bring a lot of happiness to the people around them. What’s even more appealing is that they have this kind of ability to grasp the future. Without exception, they all love to read or at least do according to that saying, “There’s nothing exceptional under the sun,” books provide them with wisdom to understand the world. I also hope for this kind of wisdom. As such reading has gradually become the biggest thing I do outside of work. Of course, this kind of life can be pretty “quiet.” Similarly, my two other biggest pastimes — traveling and making military models – are also “soundless”. One young English guy once told me with a very concerned face, “Yuan, if you want to know the meaning of the word ‘Nerd’, you’d best look in the mirror.” Ha ha, in fact I wasn’t concerned at all about my lifestyle. Ladies, it’s good to find yourself a quiet partner. In this way you’ll always have someone to listen to your stories. Plus, perhaps these guys who are always reticent are in fact the most passionate guys!

Due to the limits of writing, forgive me for not being able to provide more details. But I strongly suggest any interested ladies to come forward and have a try. Based on my understanding of Yuan, I bet I would not disappoint the vast majority of readers. 🙂

其实我对Jocelyn就蛮中意的,但不知道John会不会急眼,还好中国是禁枪的,哈哈。开个玩笑,我是说,我希望能遇到一个像Jocelyn一样对中国文化感兴趣的外国姑娘,如果她还喜欢汉语甚至想成为翻译,那就完美了,我可以帮上很大的忙!你瞧,中国的有趣之处就在于,首先她极其古老,其次她快速变化。所以无论你是埋头于故纸堆的历史学家,还是想做时代的弄潮儿,基本都能在这儿寻到自己的位置。嗨!那些身处第一世界的妹子们,有时来我们第三世界转转也蛮有意思的!

或许我更应该交代一下自己是怎样的人,那些喜欢我这款的八成也是我要找的。

我身边有些很棒的朋友,这些人不但自己活得从容,也总可以为旁人带来欢乐,更令人着迷的是,他们似乎还有某种把握未来的能力。而无一例外,他们都喜欢阅读。或许正应了那句话“太阳底下再无新鲜事”,书赋予了他们洞明世事的睿智。我同样渴望这份智慧,于是阅读正慢慢成为我工作之余的头等大事。当然,这种生活注定比较“安静”。的确如此,俺另两大爱好—旅游与军事模型—同样的“无声无息”,以至于曾经有位英国小哥一脸忧虑地对我说:“远,如果你想知道Nerd是啥意思,就最好去照照镜子。”哈哈,我可一点儿都不为自己的生活状况担心。其实姑娘们,找个安静的伴侣也好,这样你就总能为自己的故事找到倾听者了。再说,那些一直沉默的家伙没准是最有激情的呢!

由于篇幅所限,恕我不能在此提供更多细节,但强烈建议那些有兴趣的姑娘前来试用体验。以我对远的了解,我打赌绝大多数用户是不会失望滴.

There are a lot of Chinese men out there who, like you, have the dream of finding a yangxifu – but not every guy will be successful. What do you think are the biggest barriers for Chinese men to meet and date Western women in China?

First, Chinese men lack opportunities to regularly interact with foreign women. Objectively speaking, the vast majority of Asian men cannot compare to the tall stature of Western men. This is not worth complaining about nor is it racist, this is Darwin’s evolution. Because of this, I ask Chinese men to call upon their “soft power” in more superior areas, such as being more attentive to women or smarter. In this way we can become ideal to girls. Unfortunately this kind of “soft power” is not as easy to see as the huge biceps on a guy’s arm. You have to work long and hard together in order to observe it. And this kind of opportunity to “work long and hard together” is without a doubt in unusually short supply. So it’s very possible that young men here are already excellent enough, but that women just haven’t noticed it yet.

Secondly, you should also blame the spiritual impotence of Chinese men, their sense of inferiority. Whenever I tell someone that I’m interested in finding a foreign girl, the response I receive is, “Gosh, you need lots of money to do that!” As if I don’t have this then I cannot win the battle for a spouse! Another example is when a guy is standing before someone from a developed country, we can be overcautious. Yet when we’re standing before friends from less developed countries than China, we can behave all high and mighty.

首先,中国男人缺少与外国姑娘持续接触的机会。客观地讲,绝大多数亚洲男人不比西方男人生得高大,这既不值得抱怨也不是种族主义,这是达尔文的进化论。因此,这要求中国小伙在其他“软实力”方面技高一筹,比如他更体贴或更聪明,从而赢得中意的姑娘。不幸的是,这些“软实力”不像胳膊上发达的肱二头肌那般显而易见,你们需要共事良久才能有所体察。而这种“共事良久”的机会毫无疑问是异常稀缺的,所以很可能小伙子们已经足够优秀,但就是没有姑娘注意到。

其次,这得归咎于中国男人的精神阳痿—“自卑感”。每当我告诉某人自己有意找一位外国姑娘时,得到的反应一定是“哇塞,那你必须要很有钱!”仿佛没有这个我就无法打赢一场配偶争夺战!另一种表现是当面对来自发达国家的国民时,我们会显得缩手缩脚,而对待那些后发国家的朋友,我们或又表现的趾高气昂。

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I hear from Western women out there who are looking to find a good man in China. What advice would you have for them?

To all of those ladies searching for a “good man”, I want to say your search can stop right here. Just choose Yuan. Don’t hesitate. He will become the best decision you ever made for the longest part of your future. Ha ha!

If you’re speaking of the biggest strengths of Chinese men, that’s probably that we’re hardworking. I remember there was an economist at MIT who, when asked why he was so full of confidence about China, this gentleman shrugged and leisurely replied, “Forget about all of those economic models because the Chinese are very hardworking.” Look, whenever people attempt to answer these truly important questions, we often must return to the most essential things. So if I was a woman, I would stay away from those good for nothing laggards or the men who are constantly changing their jobs – the kind of guys who think they can use women because they’re cool and handsome. Just like Lucy Kellaway of the Financial Times once said, “Find a responsible partner, even though that doesn’t sound sexy or romantic.” Then I would choose someone with similar values. For example, my father values frugality; whenever he goes shopping he always picks the cheapest items. But my mother values quality and she absolutely would not compromise her values because of price. You can imagine that this couple of such mismatched people will not live very peacefully together. However, thank the heavens, as long as it’s not time to go to the supermarket, things are fine. But if the two of them cannot agree on what kind of beef to buy, then the two of them are not so well suited for each other.

However, perhaps the silliest thing in this world is to listen to me, some 24-year-old guy who has yet to find love himself to give some advice to such experienced young women on how to find true love. So I’d best keep my mouth shut!

对于正在物色“好男人”的姑娘,我想说,你们的寻找可以到此为止了,选择远,莫踌躇,他将会是你在未来很长一段时间内做的最正确的决定 哈哈。

如果谈中国人最大的优点,那八成是“勤劳”。记得有位麻省理工(MIT)的经济学家在被问到为什么对中国充满信心时,此君耸耸肩,悠悠地说到:“忘记那些经济模型吧,因为他们很勤劳。”你瞧,当人们试图解答一些真正重要的问题时,往往要回到最本质的东西。所以,如果我是姑娘,我会首先远离那些游手好闲或像走马灯一样更换工作的男人,即使他们又酷又帅能耍宝。正如《金融时报》的露西·凯韦拉所说,“找一个负责任的伴侣吧,尽管这可能听上去既不性感也不浪漫”。然后我会在剩下的人中挑一个有相似价值观的,举个反例,我的父亲崇尚节俭,买东西只捡最贱的,而我的母亲注重品质,绝不为价格妥协。可以想见这么一对儿冤家聚到一起生活是不会太平的。不过谢天谢地,在不必去超市的时间里,日子还算过得去。如果两个人连买什么样的牛肉都谈不拢,那他们可能就不合适。不过,这个世上最蠢的事可能就是听一个24岁还在寻找初恋的“男孩”告诉一群“经验丰富”的女人如何寻找真爱,所以我最好还是闭嘴吧。

Finally, you currently reside in Ji’nan, China. Let’s say I’m coming up to visit your hometown. What you suggest I see and do in your city?

Oh, Ji’nan is a very embarrassing provincial capital city. Not only does it have no international recognition, here in China you almost never hear anything from Ji’nan. In fact the most recent thing I’ve heard about Ji’nan is that some guy put his girlfriend on his neck and received some praise for being a “Good Chinese Boyfriend.” Still, just because this place isn’t famous doesn’t mean it’s not fun. You should definitely see the usual sights in the city. Qianfo Mountain, Baotu Springs and Daming Lake are the three best in Ji’nan. Of course if you loathe manmade pools, Ji’nan – which is also known as “little Jiangnan” – also has a number of good places to go swimming, though they’re often hidden in the most inconspicuous places in the city and usually only locals can find them. Of course you totally shouldn’t be worried about those lewd stares, as can assure you there are far too many to count.

If you’re willing to walk a little, then we can also have a look at “the mountain”, “the water”, “the sage” – that’s Taishan, the Yellow River, and Confucius. Yes, in Shandong Province you can find all of these things that are deeply meaningful in Chinese culture. No matter what, don’t worry. Any trip with Yuan will be a happy one.

By the way, now that you mention travel, next year I’m planning on visiting China’s West (Xinjiang and Tibet). Is there anyone willing to come with me? (This is limited to single girls only! 😉 )

嗯,济南是一个很尴尬的省会城市,不仅毫无国际知名度,在国内也鲜有新闻。事实上我最近一次听到济南的消息还是一个男人将他的女友放在了自己的脖子上从而获封 “中国好男友”。但不出名不代表不好玩。常规景点是一定要看的,千佛山、趵突泉和大明湖是济南的三大名胜。当然如果你厌恶了人造泳池,号称“小江南”的济南也有几个游泳的好去处,不过它们通常隐藏在那些最不起眼的小径尽头,只有当地人才能找到。当然你也完全不必在意那些“色眯眯”的眼神,因为我保证那会多的数不过来。

如果愿意走的远一些,我们还可以去看看“一山、一水、一圣人”—“泰山、黄河、孔子”,是的,这些对中华文化意义深远的东西你都可以在山东省找到。无论如何,请不要担心,因为任何有远弟的旅行都会是愉快的旅行。对了,说到了旅游,明年我打算去中国西部(西藏,新疆)转转,有没有人愿意加入?仅限单身妹子哟. 😉

—–

Thank you so much to Yuan Fu for this interview and for all of his generous assistance to Speaking of China! I’ll be posting more of his translations in the next few weeks, so look out!

For any comments or suggestions regarding translations, you’re welcome to contact Yuan at speakingofchina(at)hotmail(dot)com.

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8 thoughts on “Interview with Yuan Fu, the official translator for Speaking of China – 采访付远,《谈中国》的官方翻译

  • March 20, 2015 at 7:38 am
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    Excellent interview! I really enjoyed hearing about Yuan in his own words. I wish him luck in finding the woman of his dreams.

    Reply
  • March 20, 2015 at 9:50 am
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    What a lovely guy! I really liked these answers as they are smart and weel-thought.

    I particularly enjoyed what you said about developing “soft skills” to attract a woman; in my opinion those soft skills are what any smart and considerate person should look for in a partner. Picking a partner goes well beyond physical and sexual attraction (which is of course still a component of it though!) and making a relationship work in the long run requires respect, trust, involvement and ability to support your partner’s goals and desire.

    You sound like you are the kind of person that would be willing to provide that, so I am sure it is just a matter of time soem great girl can see that! I am sure you will have no problem making Western girl fall in love with you, if that is what you want.

    Reply
  • March 21, 2015 at 11:41 am
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    “Objectively speaking, the vast majority of Asian men cannot compare to the tall stature of Western men. This is not worth complaining about nor is it racist, this is Darwin’s evolution. Because of this, I ask Chinese men to call upon their “soft power” in more superior areas, such as being more attentive to women or smarter.”

    If you’re reading this, Yuan Fu, you can enlighten in your blog in Chinese for all Chinese men out there.

    When you walk, walk like a man. when you talk, talk like a man. When you’re in a party, socialize like a man. I’ve seen several Asian men in birthday party, on the bus, in a car, on the street, you name it. They’re less than stellar, I must say. You wonder if I’m a foreigner. Nope, I’m ethnically Chinese, originally from Fujian, and migrated from China long time ago. But whenever I see those guys, I wanted to smack their heads and make them behave.

    Walk like a duckling, can’t have a nice conversation, instead staring at their smartphones in a party. Conversation works both way. No matter you are a good talker, at least there’s gotta be another one who can sustain the conversation. You need two persons to keep the conversation going. Light, funny, nothing serious kind of conversation. Chinese men? No way. I’ve been there. I improved myself. I tried to find a good topic to carry on. It works when you have someone with the same attitude. I tried that on Chinese guys, didn’t work, stopped after a small talk.

    It’s not only men, Chinese women too. Took a subway in Manhattan to Brooklyn, awful old Chinese women, 35-40 Chinese women with awful, awful manners. I hate to say I’m Chinese. But anyway if someone ask me, I’d proudly say I’m 华人。

    The other perspective for your view is Men like a woman with curves. But men don’t know how good their women will be once they get married. Now let’s turn our head and think about, why don’t Asian guys spend a little bit of time in the gym, work out, and be a man, instead of being a skinny guy and trying to be working on soft power? Girls also don’t know if the guys they’re interested are jerks or attentive. Let’s be real. Guys like girls most of the time on “love at first sight”. If girls are attracted to the guys with good looking stature, why don’t we work on that aspect? I rather work out, be confident than being able to make dumplings. Of course I’m making a joke here.

    ———————————-
    “Another example is when a guy is standing before someone from a developed country, we can be overcautious. Yet when we’re standing before friends from less developed countries than China, we can behave all high and mighty.”

    This is not only China, this happens to everyone on this earth.

    Put a white American guy and a British guy together on the same spot, and imagine what’d happen. Or maybe put Swedish guy and British guy on the bus stop together and see what happens.

    This mental complexity is not only applicable to Chinese, it’s the trait that all humans possess. The only admirable thing to do is try to be a gentleman, keep your heads up, not too arrogant, not too cocky, but also not cowering, not slouching.

    Reply
  • March 22, 2015 at 1:52 am
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    I would say be yourself. True confidence comes from competency. Build on your interests and develop in areas you consider important.
    Beyond cultural differences, girls from every ethnicities looking for a good relationship would appreciate courtesy, humor, authenticity, critical thinking, and modest or better career success.

    Practices make perfect. Put yourself out there to meet other women. I am sure there are some that will suit you. Remember to focus on what YOU want.

    Basic hygiene and grooming is a must.

    Reply
  • March 22, 2015 at 5:57 am
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    “Objectively speaking, the vast majority of Asian men cannot compare to the tall stature of Western men. This is not worth complaining about nor is it racist, this is Darwin’s evolution. Because of this, I ask Chinese men to call upon their “soft power” in more superior areas, such as being more attentive to women or smarter.”

    I wholly disagree with this. If you are going to generalize and put your own race down , don’t generalize it to ALL asian men. Stop having this attitude that Asian Men are not comparable to Western men. Because Western Men does not only include white men. It includes all the other races out there who live in these “Western countries”. I can’t believe I would hear this phrase from someone in China of all places. You don’t have to deal with all the racism or cultural conflicts of growing up in a White dominated country , yet you still harbor this attitude of “white people are superior”.

    This subtle self -racism is harmful. There is nothing Chinese men from China or outside china that isn’t comparable to others.

    Reply
  • April 2, 2015 at 10:19 am
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    Congrats on getting an intereview on here Yuan Fu 😀 Glad to see your sense of humor is still alive haha

    Reply

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