The other day, I was reading an article on chinaSMACK about Men in China taking Vietnamese wives, and noticed one of the translated comments:
My wife is German, blonde hair blue eyed, but I think I’m very ordinary and it was just fate. Actually, I think Western women apart from being a bit more independent-minded, they’re [also] much more virtuous/chaste than Chinese women, are kind-hearted, aren’t vain, are frugal, emphasize love and family on a spiritual level, and these alone totally blow modern Chinese young women away. I’m currently constantly introducing German girlfriends to my brothers [fellow male friends], exhorting them to not seek Chinese women. Oh yeah, Western women don’t demand that you have a house.
While this comment was written by a Chinese man, it echoed the sentiments of certain white Western men I encountered online — men who also justified their decision to date/marry Chinese women (or other Asian women) in a somewhat similar way:
Chinese women on the other hand are beautiful, intelligent, happy, and just plain pleasant to be with. They don’t have the associated emotional fluctuations Western women have and they are not demanding. They are serious about love and marriage and use common sense…. Single western women cannot compete with Chinese women and you can see it in their faces when you walk happily by with your Chinese girlfriend while they grimace and pretend to not notice.
(NOTE — that’s just one commenter in a thread that overwhelmingly criticizes Western women while commending the virtues of Chinese women. Read at your own risk.)
Honestly, I don’t get it. These same Western men who denigrate Western women also have mothers — and likely sisters or female cousins — who are Western women. The same could be said for the Chinese fellow above — that his mother is Chinese, and surely he has relatives close to his age who are Chinese women.
I’m so proud of my husband, and I love nothing more than sharing with the world why Chinese men can make amazing partners in life and love. But I don’t want to do it at the expense of my fellow white Western men. In fact, before I came to China I had only dated white men. While those relationships didn’t work out for a variety of reasons, I hold no grudges against them nor white men as a whole. Were some of them scumbags? Sure. But it’s unfair to generalize those scumbags as representing every single white Western man.
Why are people doing this then? It may be poor self-esteem — often the usual culprit when someone is publicly tearing down another group. Perhaps they’re still smarting from past failed relationships — and the “battle wounds” that were left behind in their hearts.
But whatever it is, they need to get over it. If they are really and truly in love with someone, shouldn’t that be enough to nourish their hearts and souls? Does our world really need more people mindlessly sowing hate (especially against their own) in an effort to justify their love?
I’m genuinely vexed by SB guys like this. Even if the foreign woman you’ve found is genuinely good, is it necessary to go look down upon your own country’s women? Chinese women gave birth to you, raised you, and instead of repaying/appreciating them, you’ve instead become a running dog for foreign women. It isn’t enough that your conscience has been eaten by a dog [lost], you run here to insult Chinese women. If you’re going to be like that, you might as well take your German wife and get the fuck out of China. Westerners are too open [liberal], how many green hats [a symbol for being cheated on] is brother [referring to the original commenter] ready to wear?
Here’s another one:
I find it annoying that American men assume all Western women are the same. I am not… Culturally or otherwise. Not that I’m slandering Western men OR women…
As for me, I have a Chinese husband who I live dearly. And that doesn’t mean nice white guys don’t exist! But there really are a great number of educated, kind and considerate Chinese men out there.
To those Western men with Chinese girlfriends: a question:
what about your potential half white daughters? Is this the lesson you want to teach them? the awfulness of their white femininity?
And what about your half Asian sons? Is this what you want to teach them- about the awfulness of their Asia masculinity?
Be gentle with those around you.
Wishing everyone a more gentle world.