Because I’m currently on deadline for two paid articles (I write for a corporate magazine, they’re both due tomorrow, I’m in the crunch, Yikes!), I’m unable to drum up a fresh post for today.
However, one thing to look forward to — my exclusive interview with Anna Sophie Loewenberg should be coming out shortly (I’m hoping sometime this week). If you’re curious about what she’s been up to and what her latest 30-minute documentary is about, stay tuned.
In the meantime, if you’re looking for a good read, I’m going to recommend a few of my baby-related articles. Why babies? For one, my stepsister just had a baby, her first. Second, a Chinese friend of mine just commented about one of my posts on having kids — and I realized that some of you might have missed it. Third, I believe there’s a link between babies and deadlines — namely, that some folks out there seem to have those kiddos to meet some biological or societal cutoff.
“Zao sheng guizi”: the pressure of having babies in a Chinese family. This is the classic post my friend raved about. If you’ve ever been harangued by your Chinese relatives about your indecision in the reproductive department, well, this one’s for you.
My Chinese Husband, Almost Switched at Birth. When someone gives birth to a baby boy, you wouldn’t say “can we switch babies?” Unless, of course, you happened to be neighbors to my Chinese husband’s family.
The China Baby Race. My Chinese friend Peter had only been married to his wife for about a year. And within that year, he and his wife had already turned double happiness into triple happiness. Fast.
Wish me luck on cranking out those articles. 😉
Congrats on your paid assignment! Let us know when the articles are published. We await your next post on your interview with Anna Sophie Lowenberg. This pressure to have a child early 早生贵子 zaosheng guizi used to be a pressing matter too for the Malaysian Chinese at one time. I think it still is for the Malays here.
I didn’t have any zaosheng guizi pressure after my Taiwan husband and I married. But when it had been a while, my mother-in-law started hinting I should see a specialist. And then she sent over a recipe (fangzi) for some Chinese medicine that one of her nephews’ wife had tried. No pressure, no pressure! Being the year of the dragon, I think there is an added deadline dimension …
Good luck with your deadlines! You’re such a consciencious worker so I know your end products will be fabulous. I definitely felt the pressure to have a baby after I married my (former) Chinese husband. It became all consuming and as a result I developed so much anxiety over the issue that it ended up taking a year to get pregnant. It wasn’t just coming from me, though. My then-husband sent me to a fertility doctor when I was only 26 and had been trying to get pregnant for just a few months. Fortunately my doctor knocked some sense into me and told me to take it easy and wait a year before trying fertility drugs. Her advice paid off!
Good luck with the articles 🙂 Don’t have any baby experience to share. My younger sister got married last year, but my parents aren’t pressuring her to have kids, at least not yet I think.
Never ever let others pressure you on having babies. It’s wonderful to have kids but it’s fine having NO kids also. I know I know what’s on your mind on this subject.
Good luck with deadlines and thank you for always having something for us to read.
When you have a doctor as relative, you know all kinds of crapes normal people do not know nor care. Biological cock is one of them. The reason doctors who do IVF procedure make good living is people change minds over time, and IVF is expensive.
We all face deadlines in life and know the stratergy of managing deadlines is planing ahead, and giving yourself plenty of lee way. I think it applies to work and life alike, in my opinion.
BTW, the picture freaks me out…
Checking out these links now, good luck with your deadlines!
Read all the linked articles, and yes, that is the reason why China is over populated and why the one child policy. I also knew that one of my childhood friends was switched or gaved away at birth. His uncle and aunt are his biological parents.
I never get why man and woman are not equal in China in term of carrying bloodlines. I think it is very wrong.
Having more kids will only cause troubles in the long run especially when you age. I advise lots of my friends not to have too many kids.
I’m so excited about reading the interview – can’t wait! 😀
On the subject of babies, I have two sisters and I used to think it was completely normal to have 3 children. Until one of my sisters did just that and it has just about put me off for life haha.
I am really surprised at how many people in the UK seem to meticulously plan to get married then have children soon after. I suppose it is a natural progression in some ways but I thought attitudes would have reaxed somewhat by now.
One of my friends who is pregnant and not married mentioned to me that she was a bit worried that people might comment to her about it when she went to a shotgun wedding last month. She obviously didn’t like my suggestion of having a joint wedding :p
@Claire (and anyone else awaiting it), the Anna Sophie Loewenberg interview is now out, plus I’ve posted some exclusive interview extras here on Speaking of China. Check it out.
@Bruce – since you mentioned it, have you noticed that most of the single child families in US are families of ABC.
@Claire – I was told that in UK a mother can take ONE YEAR maternity leave without losing her job, 6 months of that are paid by the company. Could that be one of the reason?
@cvaguy I’m not too sure of the reason, I was just thinking that people were more traditional than I thought.
It is true that the mother can take up to a year on maternity leave in the UK, she will get a percentage of her salary which decreases throughout the year.
A couple of years ago, I’m sure one of my colleagues took more than a year because she had accrued ‘too much’ annual leave while on maternity leave – which astonished me.
@cvaguy, you’re correct. Normally it’s for Chinese with a little bit understanding that you don’t have to have kids or 2 kids in order to have a completed life. I only see lots of troubles with kids/boys/men at the ages from 13 to 25 yrs old. You just name the problems and you will have them. I have lots of experience in this field..
For those who don’t read my blog, Yankee Texan in China, my recent post there plays into this subject. Because of our ages, the fact her brothers and sisters have children, my wife and I were not under any pressure by the in-laws to have a child, but this last Chinese New Year after visiting family, I returned to work while my wife spent an extra couple of weeks with her mom. During that time EVERYTHING that was supposed to happen did. Once she returned and some “I missed” you re-bonding, we settled down to normal life. About two or three weeks later she noticed her ‘monthly visitor’ hadn’t shown. we went to a pharmacy and got a test, and sure enough, we’re about to become parents. We are expecting a delivery date in November, around Thanksgiving. Needless to say her family is ecstatic not because it is a dragon baby, but because it will be a mixed blood. Even though I know boys are preferred in China, I’m hoping for a girl because there are already to many boys in my family. I have two brothers, my brother has three sons and and among 12 cousins, half are boys, so we need a few more girls to shake things up.