Living Apart from my Chinese Husband for the Summer in China

17 Responses

  1. Adriana
    Adriana May 16, 2011 at 2:20 am | | Reply

    You are so lucky having a Chinese family to take care of you and make you feel at home.
    There is something that happens to me when I am in China. I want to feel part of them, to feel integrated, you know, merge in (I have learnt their customs and social practices not to be “weird”) but still, sometimes it is hard and they see me as someone strange, that is not part of them. Any advice?

  2. Jin Feng
    Jin Feng May 16, 2011 at 3:04 am | | Reply

    Owww Jocelyn, I’m so sorry to hear that you are missing eachother. But at least if will last only for a short while. This is why, in ways, I’m glad that I am not so close with my sweetheart yet, because I can’t bear to think what it would be like to miss him from overseas if I were to be too used to his company, engaged or even married. We have another 2 years like this, but if everything goes well between us and if fortune is favourable on us, then he will be working from Europe because then even if he still is in another country, I will not feel long distance like this!

    Anyway, hopefully I will see you in Aug! We can talk about Tao Te Ching, and on 6th August, it will be Qi Xi so it will be a particularly romantic mood then I hope! If you want, we can even come to Hangzhou, as we were planning to make the journey there. It would be lovely to hear about this place full of tales from you!

    I wish there was a syrup I could give you to ease your few months of being apart. Anyway, they say it’s the thought that counts!!

    Loved this entry, you can tell it was inspired by China!

  3. rhiannon
    rhiannon May 16, 2011 at 6:00 am | | Reply

    My BIL has a wife and kids in China, he’s been here for six years! He goes back once a year to visit and they talk on QQ. I feel so bad for them though.

  4. Bruce
    Bruce May 16, 2011 at 2:34 pm | | Reply


    Since your father in law and mother in law will take good care of you, things will be fine. You will be fine because you and your husband have trust and love in the marriage. We must have confidence in our spouse. We must not afraid that he/she might find another lover or other woman/man might come and steal him/her from you.

  5. Brittany
    Brittany May 16, 2011 at 10:59 pm | | Reply

    Oh no! Yes, it is good that at least you will have your in-laws around, so you won’t be too lonely and will still be able to feel connected to him via his family. I’m sure it will be a good opportunity to really get to know them each better. And surely you can enjoy precious time with your new niece/nephew!

    As someone who has been apart from my boyfriend now for more than three years via seemingly endless combinations (different cities in America, America-China, China-America, different cities in China, and, now, Hong Kong-Beijing), I assure you I feel your pain! But a few months will fly by quicker than you think! Hopefully you will be able to visit each other a few times (?), and just think how much more you’ll appreciate your time spent together after being apart for so long.

    Best of luck adjusting to your new routine! Enjoy the summer.

  6. FrankZhao
    FrankZhao May 17, 2011 at 1:45 am | | Reply

    Dear Adriana,

    If you are in China or in Shanghai. Pls contact with me. I want invite you have a cup of coffee with me. So
    We can chat and be good friends

    I went to WINDOWS BAR and I AM LOVE SHANGHAI BAR in Shanghai last week. I try to talking with the western girls but mose of them are very cool
    to me. very bad manners. Some of them said they have no intersting talking with Chinese man. But they can introduce their friends to me maybe they are intersting be friends to Chinese man. But finally when I call them again they didn’t answer my phone. One of them from Germany named Jessica she told she knew a girls from Denmark very interesting about Chinese guy. When I gave her my name card. ang got Jessica’s number. Last
    Sunday. I called Jessica want her arragne the meeting for me and the Denmark girls. But her mobile no any answering. I just looks like a jester she cheating me like
    this way. I really can not understand why she did that to me. Why she told me she knew a Denmark girls very want find Chinese friends? I am really sad about it. But tonight I will go to I LOVE SHANGHAI BAR again. I really hope can meet the white girls like Jocenly would like be friends with Chinese, Any one who can help me pls send the E-mail address to me my E-mail is [email protected].

  7. BRUCE
    BRUCE May 17, 2011 at 8:28 am | | Reply

    FrankZhao ,

    Being too desperate won’t get no woman not just western woman. Any type of women can play ya . You should have a flow to everything like your outlook on life etc. Just talk and have fun . Don’t demand anything in return that a relationship will happen. Just don’t give a damn if things are going to happen! I don’t think GOOD women like pushy men in general. Women like pushy men are the types who like no relationship. Anyway, back to work 🙁 🙂

  8. Crystal
    Crystal May 18, 2011 at 2:12 am | | Reply

    Not related, but I am really curious – what kind of research your husband is doing?
    He is in the field of psychology, right?

  9. Sara
    Sara May 19, 2011 at 3:59 am | | Reply

    First I’m sorry to hear that you have to spend time apart with your husband, but mostly I paid attention how well you seem to do with your in-laws. I have met my boyfriends family members (some of them) only twice so it is still very scary for me to meet them and I don’t get even one word out of my mouth! I hope that in the future I would have as good relationship with them as you have with yours.

  10. melanie gao
    melanie gao May 19, 2011 at 4:24 am | | Reply

    Jocelyn, my twin! When we meet in Beijing in June I will tell you about how I’m moving to Nashville for a year in July and my dear husband is going to stay behind in Beijing to work and support us during the year. It’s a huge sacrifice for all of us but very necessary at this point.

    I remember when we were dating and lived on different continents we swore that once we got married we’d never be apart for more than a few weeks and now look at us. So different. I’m kind of excited about the idea of long-distance dating my husband. We might even send each other hand-written love letters.

  11. ChinaMatt
    ChinaMatt May 22, 2011 at 10:52 am | | Reply

    And I was getting worried about sending my wife back to China for a month or so to visit her family and friends (we can only afford one ticket this year). I don’t mind too much when my wife is away for a day or so, but extended times are difficult–longest she was away was 3 weeks on a business trip. Just be sure you both have gifts for each other when you get back together.

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