The Courage to Blog Personally About Love, Family and Marriage in China | Speaking of China

44 Responses

  1. baixiaotai
    baixiaotai June 8, 2015 at 9:41 am | | Reply

    Don’t be afraid, you’re doing great!
    Or… be afraid. And fight it, again and again.
    Be hardworking, be lazy. But most importantly: be happy about your life, your marriage and your blog. I feel so much better when I can compare my experiences with you and other people – if not in real life, then in blog stories. It makes me stronger when I know that everyone has to fight for happiness – and that we can do it!

  2. marghini
    marghini June 8, 2015 at 9:44 am | | Reply

    Wow Jocelyn, what a brave, intense and touching article! You are a great writer.

    As a fellow blogger (albeit much less experienced!) everything you said rings true: the anxiety about my writing, the creeping feeling that it will never work out, the disappointment over the scarce responses and so on. Blogging is great but God knows how much perseverance and effort it takes.

    You mentioned one thing that was particularly true: quitting blogging is often not a conscious decision. It is more of a passive “maybe I will write something another day” kind of a feeling. It is really hard to decide consciously to quit something you’ve put so much effort into. Letting it slip through your fingers is much easier. I would almost compare it to hitting the gym: you know you should go, you keep postponing, and the more you postpone the lazier you get.

    Blogging is a bit like exercising, just for the brain and soul instead of the body.

  3. Constance - Foreign Sanctuary
    Constance - Foreign Sanctuary June 8, 2015 at 10:21 am | | Reply

    We, as bloggers, constantly put ourselves out there to be judged and usually the more personal and opinionated a post is, the harder it is to press the publish button.

    I am glad that you had to courage to restart your blog and you should be proud of all the accomplishments you have had. You give other bloggers the courage to speak their mind and have a voice!

  4. Autumn
    Autumn June 8, 2015 at 11:49 am | | Reply

    I have a hard time imagining blogging without “Speaking of China” leading the way. I have (virtually) met many interesting people and heard many fascinating stories through your blog. I am grateful for it as a resource (though I found it a little too late for it to help me with my in-laws!), as a source of inspiration, and also as a source of comfort.

    It’s nice to know I’m not the only one with the Chinese mother-in-law from hell!

    1. Dan
      Dan June 9, 2015 at 6:34 am | | Reply

      Your andy’s flow chart is funny.

      I think good looking people will always have easier time in dating. The good news is that there will be somebody for everybody.

      1. Autumn
        Autumn June 9, 2015 at 7:15 am | | Reply

        Aw, thanks, Dan! I will tell Andy you said so.

        1. Dan
          Dan June 10, 2015 at 9:14 am | | Reply

          I really enjoyed your latest post. I remember saying about the Asian loyalty, but I was being optimistic.

          I like reading a blog post not feeling too sentimental at the end. Good work!

          1. Autumn
            Autumn June 10, 2015 at 10:30 am |

            You are very kind! I think I am turning pink.

  5. Miyagi Mermaid
    Miyagi Mermaid June 8, 2015 at 1:54 pm | | Reply

    Thank you for sharing this. I have been struggling trying to figure out what to do with my blog. I love blogging, I love reading blogs, but I am also very cautious about posting my personal information online.

    Whenever I write, I think, this is the sort of thing I like reading from other people, so I should write it that way someone else who feels the same way will read it and maybe it will comfort them to know they are not alone.

    But then I think about all the personal information someone could gather from everything, put the pieces together, and then what? I don’t actually think anyone cares that much, but the thought still gives me anxiety.

    Maybe one day you can write advice about being personal, but not too personal!

    Thank you again though, I also think you are truly brave to stick to it! And I’m thankful because reading your blog is like chatting with a friend and I look forward to it.

  6. Ruth - China Elevator Stories
    Ruth - China Elevator Stories June 8, 2015 at 9:11 pm | | Reply

    Great article!

    I’ve thought about quitting blogging in recent months, so it’s definitely something I can relate to. Sometimes I’m just not sure if putting oneself out there like this is worth all the hassle. I loved writing, but recently it often seems like a burden to keep up with blogging. I haven’t called it quits yet because it might just be a phase and I’d probably regret it if I quit.

    I never used to read blogs until I stumbled upon yours. I then read every article on your blog (I hope that doesn’t make me a virtual stalker). You have a great talent for writing and I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts and your memoir.

    1. marghini
      marghini June 9, 2015 at 9:38 am | | Reply

      Hold on Ruth, we are with you! Don’t quit!

      1. Ruth - China Elevator Stories
        Ruth - China Elevator Stories June 11, 2015 at 10:42 am | | Reply

        Thanks! I hope my true love for writing these little conversations will come back sooner or later.

  7. Grace Mineta
    Grace Mineta June 8, 2015 at 10:13 pm | | Reply

    I’m so glad you started blogging again! Your blog was one of the ones that inspired me to start (and then again, to keep going).

    It takes a lot of courage to post your thoughts online – and I always enjoy reading yours!

  8. Ziqiao
    Ziqiao June 8, 2015 at 11:04 pm | | Reply

    Thanks for doing this

  9. Sorrel
    Sorrel June 9, 2015 at 12:29 am | | Reply

    Kudos to all of you who blog.
    It takes courage to put all your personal thoughts, both the positives and the challenges, online for all to read.
    You share your journey with us all!!

    The internet can be an unpleasant place at times, so to continue posting in the face of disagreement and everything else, shows a courage that many don’t have.

    Long may you all continue!

  10. May
    May June 9, 2015 at 1:59 am | | Reply

    Blogging about your own personal experiences, love and life definitely takes a great deal of courage….but utterly worthwhile, even if it is only to preserve some much treasured memories for yourself. Thank you for writing this post to encourage more honesty in our world. Have a lovely week ahead!

  11. Abigail Fitzgerald
    Abigail Fitzgerald June 9, 2015 at 4:35 am | | Reply

    Oh Sweet Lady. I depend on your blog. You allow me to see how it can be to find a true love and experience other cultures. Wonderful Insight- It’s what draws us in and connects us with you. Your writing pulls us together in camaraderie- women in similar situations and those curious about Bi-racial Ships, China, Love, and Writing. So glad you tried again!

  12. Dan
    Dan June 9, 2015 at 6:30 am | | Reply

    I think you have done a great job. You will have something interesting to look back when you get older too.

  13. MM
    MM June 9, 2015 at 1:55 pm | | Reply

    I came to China in 2008 and by accident or out of sheer determination I searched and found Jocelyn’s blog. Her blog was a rarity, one of a few that was offering some answers to questions that I and I presumed other Western women were asking or thinking about such as “ Why aren’t there or Why don’t you see Western women dating Chinese men”, when the opposite (Western men dating Chinese Women) can be seen everywhere you go. Jocelyn was in my mind, original, daring, a follower of her own heart and mind. She’s someone living her life with her Chinese husband and through her writing and her experience I got an insight into something that was “different” , something that was uncommon not only in her own Country but also in China, a different way of seeing people, their culture, their differences/likenesses. But also through her blog I thought of the “possibility” there is if we are open to the experience of not only dating but loving and living our lives with a Chinese man.

    I find Jocelyn’s b blog to be honest, open, insightful and doesn’t shy away from any topic. It made a path for all other ( Western Women dating/loving/married to Chinese men) bloggers/blogs to rise and that’s evident in the amount of blogs that are out there on this topic written by women who are experiencing their own journeys/adventures with Chinese men.

    So thank you Jocelyn ( and John) for having the courage, taking a risk, opening up and daring to write about your life and experiences both good and bad.

    P.S. Sending out a big thanks to all other bloggers who put themselves out there.

  14. Sara
    Sara June 9, 2015 at 11:31 pm | | Reply

    Jocelyn, you’ve been such an inspiration for all of us blogging about China and dating/marrying Chinese! So first of all a big thank you, without your blog I’m not sure if I would have started mine.

    I’ve written posts as well that made me very nervous to hit the publish button, perhaps some that I later regretted. I’ve also had pauses in my blogging when my own life have been a mess or just too busy. But still blogging is important for me and I keep at it even though sometimes it might be slower.

  15. Svetlana
    Svetlana June 13, 2015 at 3:45 am | | Reply

    What a brave thing to admit! Few years before I started to write my book review blog, I planned on writing a Korean drama blog, something similar to what does. But I guess I got bored and kind of, well, failed with that. Everyone who knew me, knows I love reading, and someone suggested that perhaps I start to do book review blog.

    I started to do it, but like Jocelyn, in beginning I felt helpless and frustrated, unsure of why I was doing it and trying to get used to it. Something about reading and blogging about my reads appealed to me, which explains why I don’t quit, and it took a lot of time and mistakes for me to find my voice and my preferences and to continue to expand my reads, but I love doing it.

    Also, I would like to thank everyone for checking out my blog and for giving me reason and motivation to keep on reading and reviewing books!

  16. Jocelyn
    Jocelyn July 11, 2015 at 4:48 pm | | Reply

    You’re doing fantastically, keep up the good work. I love reading your posts 🙂

  17. Kei
    Kei January 4, 2016 at 7:41 am | | Reply

    Thank you for posting about your struggles and successes as a blogger! It takes courage to share so much personal stuff. Having people read and comment on it is terrifying, but even having people NOT comment on it is hard! I have been blogging for a year and I have never broken anywhere near 100 hits in a day, but I am still motivated by blogs like yours.

    I think that your daily struggles are very relatable for people in interracial, multicultural relationships, and your writing style is easy to follow. I hope I can find a “voice” that is as natural and as absorbing as yours. Thanks again for sharing your life with us!

  18. it's me
    it's me May 17, 2016 at 8:11 pm | | Reply

    hi, i’m pretty sure there were already millions reader who have appreciated your articles. pls include me from those million of fans you got. what made me appreciate your articles is the honest truth that you write straight from your heart. keep it up. More success to you! 🙂

  19. LI Sir
    LI Sir August 3, 2016 at 11:15 am | | Reply

    You are a brave girl. We benefit a lot from your blog. Thank you!

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