How Marriage in China Gets Confusing | Speaking of China

6 Responses

  1. Gerald
    Gerald December 6, 2010 at 3:45 am | | Reply

    Sometimes I wonder what this practice tells us about the relationship between the Chinese populace and the Chinese state… but all in all, I think it just points to the importance of social recognition of, well, just about anything: if it’s private and no one knows about it – or for that matter, if no one talks about it (see the last post about silence from a boyfriend) – it basically does not exist…

  2. Chris
    Chris December 6, 2010 at 12:28 pm | | Reply

    Whoa, thanks for sharing, Jocelyn. I had no idea that marriages were like that in China. Are you allowed to have the ceremony before you get married?

    @Gerald, yeah it does seem that most Chinese care alot about how others in their social circle perceive themselves. marriage is much more of a wholesale family affair to them. good observation.

  3. jackie
    jackie December 8, 2010 at 3:37 am | | Reply

    My husband and I did the outrageous–we registered, and then didn’t have a ceremony. Well, a month later his mom felt the need to have a small dinner with some family members. But it was nowhere near the elaborate affair of most Chinese weddings. We consider our wedding day the day we registered.

    Last month a Chinese friend of ours got married–well, they had the ceremony. But his mother is very superstitious, and believes that registering the marriage in 2010 will bring bad luck, so out of respect for her they will wait until 2011 to register. So in the eyes of all his family and friends, they are married, although legally they are not. So, yes, you can have the ceremony before the registration, but the registration has to happen at some point to be legally married.

  4. Chinamatt
    Chinamatt December 11, 2010 at 10:25 am | | Reply

    Getting registered in China is quite an experience. I have great photos of my wife and me in tshirts holding our marriage certificate. Good thing we had a ceremony a few days later (and another 6 months later in the states). I wrote about the experience a while ago: http://everymanscritic.blogspot.com/2010/07/wedding-story.html

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