Western Wives, Chinese Husbands -- Guest Piece at Middle Kingdom Life

7 Responses

  1. PH
    PH March 7, 2010 at 5:14 pm | | Reply

    Very pretty wedding dress

  2. Lauren
    Lauren March 8, 2010 at 8:19 am | | Reply

    Thanks Jocelyn for sharing this article. It seems as though Western women and Chinese men can have very happy romantic relationships/marriages with understanding each others cultural differences and personal preferences.

    One section of the article mentioned, “you may also notice that, because of their cultural backgrounds, many Chinese men unknowingly have different expectations compared to their western counterparts. Their expectations of you in the relationship, themselves, and of their place in the world may not match with typical Western assumptions.”

    Can anyone shed some light on some of expectations Chinese men may have that Western women might not be aware of?

  3. Susan Chi
    Susan Chi March 9, 2010 at 11:43 am | | Reply

    Lauren, I contributed to the article, and can say that there’ve been several examples, especially early in my marriage, where expectations were different which I attributed to our different cultures. Or at least that was how I perceived it. One example is that where I’d grown up learning to suck-it-up, take a pill, and not bother anyone with my minor illnesses, my Chinese husband had grown up with very different expectations for when he became ill.

    Off the top of my head, here’s a short list (which I’m sure can be added to) of some of the areas where different expectations might typically occur:
    *attention provided during minor illnesses
    *effort in meal planning and preparation, even if it’s just lunch
    *attention to a childs’ education outside of the school
    *expectations about the role of in-laws and what your own role is with them.
    *expectations of themselves (and you) regarding career choices and overall goals

    I could go on and on, and maybe Jocelyns’ future posts will address some of these! I suppose expectations are an area that every couple, cross-cultural or not, has to figure out. I actually think, however, that by being a cross-cultural couple, my husband and I had the advantage of stepping back from our differences in a non-emotional and less reactionary way because we were never quite sure if our conflicts were arising from “culture differences”, and we wanted to find out through a non-judgemental conversation! Does that make sense? I hope this helps.

  4. oegukeen
    oegukeen October 26, 2012 at 6:18 am | | Reply

    The link is broken 🙁

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