What White Parents Think of Asian Boyfriends: Pub'd on AMWW | Speaking of China

36 Responses

  1. Sara
    Sara October 20, 2011 at 2:24 am | | Reply

    I think there’s a difference between people who grew up partially overseas and people who grew up only in the West.

    Those of us who grew up in certain overseas posts, ironically, seem to have parents who are more against it because they’re more progressive than most Western parents. They sometimes don’t see how Chinese culture is compatible with feminism. Moreover, they simply don’t see how their daughter’s life can be better in a land with 1950s-era gender relations. They also may not see how a child raised to be progressive can exist long-term with a Confucian man or within Confucian culture. (I’m aware of a Chinese-American feminism, but that’s not the same thing as Chinese feminism.) While all the Chinese men talk about valuing family, it’s ultimately the woman who does all the work. It didn’t work well the first time, so why would it work well again?

    In retrospect, my parents had a valid point. YMMV.

  2. Bruce
    Bruce October 20, 2011 at 7:20 am | | Reply

    It’s okay that Jocelyn doesn’t write about this subject because some things are hard to swallow and understand. I understand everything and you don’t even have to open your mouth to tell me. Do you guys know something that really bothers me? You don’t need approval from friends , parents and societies on who you should be with!! We even have problems with relationship within our own race already. I mean does it matter if he is Chinese ,black,white etc? As long as he is a good person and he loves you and your white families. I’ve told you guys already that even I speak English perfectly with no accent , I will still be treated as a foreigner? WHy? We’re are freaking minority in this country!! that’s why! There will always be racists in this world even like 1000 yrs from now. Yes, Chinese men are different in many ways and we always have to prove ourselves no matter which continents we reside. Once, we’ve proven ourselves that we’re not what they are thinking in their minds, either they accept it or not that’s their problem not yours. Life is tough everywhere in this world , we just have to endure racism, economic crisis and hardship. If we don’t move forward and just throw in the towels, just call yourself a “loser”.

    Sincerely,

    Bruce

  3. Kedai
    Kedai October 20, 2011 at 7:38 am | | Reply

    @Sara
    I honestly don’t remember the last time I met a “Confucian man” in China.
    You are basically saying your parents’ particular brand of progressivism helped close you off to experiences that you might share with others from different backgrounds. Hmmm….

  4. David
    David October 20, 2011 at 7:42 am | | Reply

    Seems like if more white progressive parents are against it, more white parents (progressive or otherwise) will be against it. First putting all the Chinese in the same basket is wrong. Even worse there is a tendency to put all the Asians in the same basket. There are a lot of white people who to this day really believe that there are no Chinese Christians. May be not in China but definitely in Hong Kong and Singapore and also in Malaysia. I will talk about Singapore here as Chell refers to it now and then. Singaporean Chinese are more progressive than most white Americans who call themselves progressives. True, mother-in-law hangs around, but chances are the mother-in-law is also working outside the home. Actually, in Singapore, while most Chinese women work outside their home, most white women stay at home and hang out at the Starbucks while their husbands go to work and the Filipina maid does all the work at home. Most locals think that the white women and white girls have the most privileged life in Singapore, and I agree, having lived there for more than two years in the past. There are also single white women who work in Singapore but many sit and drown their sorrows about the local women taking all the good white men on the weekends. However, unlike the folks on this board many of these women are not progressive at all except for one or two and they are not looked upon very favorably. First this young lady from Indiana or Kentucky,….her parents told her that she should not be marrying someone of a different religion, but when to their surprise they found out that this guy is an evangelical, they issue became his race and possible children. Parents visiting a young lady from Katy, Texas bluntly told her that if she ever dated or married a Chinese guy, she had to stay on in Singapore, and would not be welcome by extended family in Texas and this was no ordinary Chinese Singaporean guy she was dating…a multi millionaire, having riches that her extended family in Texas can only dream of…and yes her parents were surprised that he was not a pagan or a communist but a very conservative christian with progressive values on certain things. Generally the first impression of some of the local men when they see a white woman, particularly from the US or Australia is “racist” unless proved otherwise..(which goes to the book that Jocelyn’s husband was reading…does not help when a book written by whites on diversity says that all whites are racist). However, in Singapore most locals dont have the impression that white men are racist, because they frequently see local non-white women with white men. However, they do see most white females as racist because they hardly see any white woman with a local guy. May not be fare and it may work both ways, but as Chell says it is not much different from some Americans viewing anyone who looks South Asian as a terrorist. I do agree with a lot of point that Chell makes and I think he has explained it very clearly and hence I need not go into this much further.

  5. David
    David October 20, 2011 at 7:51 am | | Reply

    “I’ve told you guys already that even I speak English perfectly with no accent , I will still be treated as a foreigner? WHy? We’re are freaking minority in this country!!”

    If that is the case, why do Singaporeans and other Chinese people complain that even in their country where Chinese are are a majority, the “ang moh” (white people) are treated better. Why in the world in Hawaii, do Hawaiians complain that in their island where they are a majority (if you combine them with Asians) they feel that white people are treated better despite being a minority. Being a minority has nothing to do with it. It is the mindset that white is better or white is beautiful..and this is not only in the psyche of white people, it is also in the psyche of the Chinese, Koreans, and everyone else. I can definitely tell you that in India, white people, particularly the white women, are treated much better than the locals. An Indian woman is raped, no one gives a damn, but a white woman is attcked the entire CID would be on the case.

  6. Barbara
    Barbara October 20, 2011 at 12:00 pm | | Reply

    I think that you also generalize too much about so called “West”. My parents have many doubts about my relationship with my Chinese boyfriend not because they are prejudiced to Asians; actually, I can count on my fingers how many Asians I’ve seen living in my hometown (and it’s not a village but one of the biggest cities in Poland). It has nothing to do with racism or stereotypes. I believe that the experience of Communism also affects my parents a lot, even if there’s a huge difference between Poland over 20 years ago and China now (and my parents are aware of this). So also putting all white parents into one basket is quite wrong. Chinese kids shout “meiguoren, meiguoren!” when they see me on a street, but please remember that not only American or British girls can date Chinese guys 😉

  7. Laowai in Shanghai
    Laowai in Shanghai October 20, 2011 at 12:45 pm | | Reply

    My grandma warned me not to marry my Chinese husband. She suggested he was an evil communist only after a green card. Looking forward to reading your article.

  8. Friend
    Friend October 20, 2011 at 12:59 pm | | Reply

    I read the article. I think most of the AMWF couples I know mainly have three situations:
    1. Better than Black.
    2. The Foreigner.
    3. Loves Diversity.

    Some of these couples are my friends, some are acquaintances, and family. From what they told me, I don’t think I’ve heard the colorblind thing (at least not until the parents meet the guy for a while), not so much model minority, nor the harder life. I thought it was just Asian parents, but White parents (or other non-Asian) appear to be also curious about the guy’s occupation. Though I think in their case it’s mostly curiosity and practicality rather than the obsession found among Asian parents. The children are generally accepted nowadays, I mean, most parents are glad to be grandparents in general.

  9. David
    David October 20, 2011 at 1:03 pm | | Reply

    “Yes, he does say all white people are racist — but if you read the book, you’ll understand that this racism often happens in subtle and subconscious ways.”

    I will say almost everyone in the world thinks white people are superior, and white females are the prettiest, whether the people concerned are white or not. My friend grew up in Southern India thinking all white females are prettier than non-white females..probably a colonial mindset, but most likely that is how Indians have been brought up for generations. Subtle comments made at home that the “woman is really fair and beautiful” etc. existed long before the Brits were ever seen on Indian shores. So racism in the case of whites and self-hate in the case of non-whites happens in subtle and unconscious ways. My friend got over it, but it took years of racism against him from whites here in America and for a few months in Australia (he is a dark skinned south Indian christian male) and especially outright racism from white women in his church and workplace who told him that they would rather date a black American over him to get him deprogrrammed from this white women are prettier cult like mindset. Literally white women had to sneer at him over a quarter century to get over this delusion that he was living. Now he has gone to the other extreme. Everytime he sees a white woman on the street his first reaction is racist, especially if she is attractive. Not fair, but the same as white people considering all south Asian men as suspected terrorists. So it is not just that all white people are racists as Su claims, but most people in the world have a pro-white bias and want to be accepted by white people….they are enablers in this game. Any white people will do..whether living in a slum or in a mansion, educated or uneducated. Whiteness is something money cannot buy. If you feed the cat on the dinner table, it will jump on it when you are having dinner…you are enabling it. So if non-whites have a pro-white bias, racist whites will take advantage of it and that is exactly what is happening. Non-whites are not innocent in this game…they are basically enabling this foolishness.

    As far as Barbara is concerned, I will not call it racism unless her parents are ok with marrying an Anglican from the UK over a Chinese or a Central Asian Asiatic or African or Lebanese Christian or for that matter an Indian catholic from the US. This is because Barbara has probably nothing in common with an Anglican from England other than their common white skin color. Her parents probably wanting her to marry a Pole or a Slav from Czech Republic or even Russia has more to do with cultural compatability rather than race. However, a white American saying that she will date a person of any culture as long as the person looks white smacks of racism and I am afraid that is what many white American women think outside the small group who join the discussions here or in the AMWW magazine.

  10. David
    David October 20, 2011 at 1:15 pm | | Reply

    One more thing: whatever one may say about Hollywood, they read American public well and their distaste of interracial relationships. That is one of the main reasons the main Asian female character in Hawaii five o, Kono, played by Grace Park, does not even have a white love interest. The public, especially the white public in 2011 cannot stand an Asian woman with a white man….it wont sell although it is the most common IR couple in this country…so much so single Filipina, Chinese and Thai women are denied visas to the US 70% of the time. On the other hand an Asian woman with a black man is ok although that IR is not that common….Grace Anatomy, if you remember before Isiah Washington did himself in with anti-gay comments, his character was supposed to marry the Korean woman he was seeing. It is more palatable for the white, especially the white female audience in America!

  11. ordinary malaysian
    ordinary malaysian October 20, 2011 at 4:58 pm | | Reply

    However progressive we think we are or want to be, we are all racists (please don’t jump up yet) whatever the race we happen to be.

    We see other races differently, we have perceptions (right or wrong ones) of other races and we also have our own individual and even group prejudices of other races. So our gestalt is really nothing but the sum total of the individual parts, except that the whole should be more than the sum. That’s what gestalt is supposed to be anyway.

    But what is the problem? If someone thinks he is superior because of race or colour, that’s his problem. And if someone else thinks that he is inferior again because of race or colour, that’s his problem also.

    But just because that idiot thinks that way of himself, am I to lose sleep? No, I am who I am and you can be who you think you are.

    Thank you.

  12. Sveta
    Sveta October 21, 2011 at 12:20 am | | Reply

    I had no idea that AF/WM is suffering backlash… back then my parents were surprised that I became determined to date Asian men. One of them mentioned or asked about the size, and another one made tasteless jokes about the cuisine. Some Asian friends as well told me that it’s improbable for Asian men to be attracted to white women. (A Korean friend said that less than one percent are attracted to white women.) Today in 2011 I think they are okay with idea, they just want me to be with someone who will respect me and make me happy.

  13. David
    David October 21, 2011 at 6:23 am | | Reply

    “I had no idea that AF/WM is suffering backlash…”

    Backlash from Asian men who believe that white women will not date them, and to a large extent this is true. 1.4% of white American women are married to Asian men and about 5% date them. Then again to be fair to most white women, 90% will not date non-white men. Gallup keeps telling us that 84% of whites accept IR, but they never ask the question whether they would do it. In MS close to 46% of white GOP are opposed to IR, and a staggering 80% of the evangelical christians. However, unless they are really bigots, most white parents are ok with their sons dating Asian women but not their daughters dating Asian men as Chell had pointed out. But, many white parents do try to stop AW/WM couples before they are formed. In California, if you analyze data for Cuppertino or Aracadia or for that matter Milbrae in the SF area (most liberal cities) as the school becomes more Asian especially Asian and female, whites move out, especially white people with sons. My observation based on data, nothing else…totally unscientific.

    “One of them mentioned or asked about the size, and another one made tasteless jokes about the cuisine.”

    I do not want to say this, but this is the major difference between western white parents and Asian parents. The will never ever talk about the size to their daughter. It is not appropriate. And as far as Asian cuisine is concerned, it tastes much better than western cuisine, sorry…unless the western question is Mediterranean which tends to be more spicy.

    “Some Asian friends as well told me that it’s improbable for Asian men to be attracted to white women.”

    Probably Asian women.

  14. David
    David October 21, 2011 at 6:51 am | | Reply

    http://www.usariseup.com/latest-news/interracial-dating-and-marriage-even-love-often-cannot-overcome-race-and-racism

    Only 1.4% of white women are married to Asian American men. May be a lot higher than those married to black men (0.8%) but the result for AM/WW or even AF/WM is still dismal if you want IR to increase in this era of globalization and I will bet anything that most WMs are married to AFs from abroad (FOB or met while in Asia). Once Asians grow up here they become as racialized as white people.

  15. Barbara
    Barbara October 21, 2011 at 7:41 am | | Reply

    “but this is the major difference between western white parents and Asian parents. The will never ever talk about the size to their daughter.”
    Believe me David, my parents would NEVER EVER talk about the size or make any allusions to sex.
    Frankly, I find my boyfriend’s parents more open in this matter. They offered me to live with them (means “sleep with my bf every night, in their house”) for over one month when I had no place to stay in Shenzhen. And it was just two weeks after he introduced me to his family! It still seems strange to me. Surely my parents would not be happy with the fact that my bf is sleeping with me in the same bed if we’d stay in their house. Even when my older sister got engaged, her fiance couldn’t stay at our place for a night. And, to make things clear, our parents are not conservative or very catholic. They would just find it inappropriate.
    And one more thing. I know that I’m in the minority now, but I really don’t like chinese food, especially Guangdong cuisine (it’s quite boring actually). There are just a few things I like. But it’s about one’s taste, so you can’t say which cuisine is better and which is worst, right?

  16. David
    David October 21, 2011 at 9:06 am | | Reply

    Barbara:
    You are from Poland right? Cant really say it is western in the conventional sense. Yes, the Poles are white, but as I have said in an earlier post, there is not much in common between Polish catholics and WASPS other than skin color. In the US, they are considered the same..ie., skin color matters because there are clearly visible minorities to detest or hold in contempt, if not hate. When I said white and western I was referring to folks of northern and western european origin, not necessarily anyone who looks white. Actually there is more in common between a Filipino and Pole as far as values and religion go…they are both catholics although different skin color. As far as values go, a WASP from England has very little in common with a catholic from Poland although they both look white. Even better comparison, a white looking Arab of Lebanese origin has nothing in common with a Polish person other than skin color!

  17. Bruce
    Bruce October 21, 2011 at 1:03 pm | | Reply

    All you guys have made great points on this subject. The main point here is to have a longlasting relationship like any couples ( asian or non asian couples). This is a serious subject and this is not a test or a game. A lot of “people” just date different races for “experimental reasons only”. I don’t know about you guys but I’m more attracted to a woman’s personality and how she makes my day laughing and smiling all the way home every single day!! I have to educate you people a little bit here that it doesn’t matter what people say or think , just live your life freely. For example, if I give you a million dollars and you say good things about me all the time but once I don’t give you any more money you will say bad things about me. Anybody can be labeled as smart and hardworking but it’s the entire package that counts the most. If you call me smart and hardworking is not enough for me seriously. I have tons of other interests that will make others think for a while. Of course , we have to be smart and work hard toward our goals but we are not machines just work days and nights. The question is can he make her happy in ways that pleases her personality. Most people are hard to please. Anybody ( white or asian ) can have a socialist or communist mind . Look at Europe ( socialism) and look at America now ( heading toward socialism). You know even a Chinese American guy is afraid that his Chinese wife from China is marrying for Green Card also. I know a few cases are like that here. I don’t care who you are but if you expect too much out of a relationship, you’re moving toward a disastrous relationship/marriage. Do you know that we’re focusing too much energy on what our parents , friends , societies and others think about mix kids instead of thinking about building a happy family/relationship/ marriage. You can buy books and movies on racism all you want but you can not stop yourself from loving a man/woman of different race who loves and cares for you . Normally, when you listen or obey parents and societies on how they think, your life won’t be much fulfilled . For example, all these houses I’ve seen only have grass , a deck/patio and soo typical . I can’t not picture my house will be like this. I want a fountain, a vegetable garden, a fish pond and an outdoor kitchen built w/ stone, SS sink etc. surrounded my home. Damn so nice! I’m drawing a picture for you guys that majority of people just think like that in a particular area/country.” If you think the same, you will act the same and when you move out of this group you will change”

    Bruce 🙂

  18. David
    David October 21, 2011 at 1:55 pm | | Reply

    Bruce:

    Where do you live?

  19. Sveta
    Sveta October 21, 2011 at 2:03 pm | | Reply

    @David Actually, a Korean male friend told me that less than one percent of Korean men are attracted to white women. And I’m actually Eastern European Jewish from Russia, I’m not WASP. If I ever see this Korean male friend again, I’d like to tell him that one of the longest relationships I’ve had was with a Korean guy just to see the look on his face. Unfortunately so far, I never had a long relationship with a Chinese male.

  20. David
    David October 22, 2011 at 11:52 am | | Reply

    “a Korean male friend told me that less than one percent of Korean men are attracted to white women.”

    I have heard just the opposite.

  21. Eileen
    Eileen October 22, 2011 at 7:18 pm | | Reply

    I am very happy when my family first met my husband – they totally LOVED him; they accepted him with open arms. My grandmother thinks he’s adorable. I don’t know how my husband did it but he made my dad TALK and I mean TALK – I never seen passion in his eyes for a very long time. It was great. 🙂 To this day, my grandmother calls me wondering when we’ll be seeing them. My aunt wants to feed my husband so much of her seafood dishes. Gah!

    Jocelyn, I am finally on wordpress. haha.

  22. Barbara
    Barbara October 25, 2011 at 6:18 am | | Reply

    David: I thought that when you say “western”, you mean sth like”to the west from China” more or less, but, apparently, you draw the border between west and east somewhere at the Odra river.
    Saying that Poles and Filipinos have sth in common because they are catholics sounds quite naive – we live on different continents, in different climate (surely it determines our temperaments) and we don’t have even a single common episode in the history of our countries (in contrast to Poland and other european countries). So even if you mention the relation between British and Poles (“As far as values go, a WASP from England has very little in common with a catholic from Poland although they both look white”), you are wrong, simply because religion isn’t the only thing which determines one’s mentality. There are also many protestants in Poland and Czech Republic, but surely they don’t have much in common with WASPs in the US. I think that even british protestants are very different from american WASPs…
    But actually all these matters are not related to the main subject (white parents and asian bf).
    So, my parents totally don’t care about my boyfriend’s race, religion or nationality. At the beginning my dad was affraid that he just wants to emigrate from China, untill the moment when I explained that I’m the one who’s staying there. They are worried that it will be hard to cope with cultural differences and that I’m so far from home, but it’s all because they love me, not because of his skin color.
    BTW, my family members and friends never said sth like “he is Asian, your children will look different”. Guess what they say? “OMG, he is so handsome! your babies gonna be so cute” 😉

  23. David
    David October 25, 2011 at 6:36 am | | Reply

    “Saying that Poles and Filipinos have sth in common because they are catholics sounds quite naive – we live on different continents, in different climate (surely it determines our temperaments) and we don’t have even a single common episode in the history of our countries (in contrast to Poland and other european countries).”

    Check all the legislation pertaining to abortion, euthanasia, adoption, divorces, religious believes and policy making in both Poland and the Philippines. True food is different, but both like pork although the spices they make are different. After that check the British legislation pertaining to values regarding abortion, birth control, Euthanasia, divorces, etc. The values between Poland and the Philippines are very similar due to similarlity of religion whereas the values in the UK and the values of the WASPS are much different.

    True, history is different. Poland was invaded by Russia and Germany whereas the Philippines was invaded by Spain and the USA…only one thing similar between all these invaders…white skin color, although the anti-Hispanic bigots in the US will beg to differ.

    “There are also many protestants in Poland and Czech Republic, but surely they don’t have much in common with WASPs in the US. I think that even british protestants are very different from american WASPs…”

    Good point, but the WASPS in the US will see only skin color. Heck, even some catholics in the US think skin color is more important than religion. Otherwise, would this pagan calling himself a catholic oppose catholic Hispanic immigration and try to make alliance with WASPS?
    http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/politics-raising-children/2011/oct/24/pat-buchanan-suicide-superpower-will-america-survi/
    This is America where white skin color worship is prevalent although not as common as in Jim Crow days. But, there is a significant 25% of the white population which thinks like the so-called catholic I mentioned above.

    “But actually all these matters are not related to the main subject (white parents and asian bf).”
    White is a very generic term. While most white Americans, particularly white women, notice skin color first, and so do Indians and many Asians, for many whites in Europe, white people differ from each other. So, all white parents around the world wont have similar views.
    “At the beginning my dad was affraid that he just wants to emigrate from China, untill the moment when I explained that I’m the one who’s staying there.”
    No personal jab here. But, job opportunities in Shanghai are better than anywhere in the west. And it also speaks highly of the openness of China despite its communism. Foreign skilled worker policies are much more liberal in China than in the US!
    “BTW, my family members and friends never said sth like “he is Asian, your children will look different”. Guess what they say? “OMG, he is so handsome! your babies gonna be so cute””
    As I said white parents in different parts of the world react differently.

  24. Bruce
    Bruce October 28, 2011 at 11:07 am | | Reply

    @David , I ‘m from the United States of America. We understand the frustration of not being treated equally when it comes to dating ,incomes and privileges. Life is never fair no matter where you live in this world. Some people were borned with silver spoons in their mouths and some had to climb the ladder like everyone else ( like me). We as Asian men, have to attract the right types of women. Those women don’t have to be white period! We have to be well informed and educated before we date those women. Normally, women are attracted to you because you have the same interests, the same hobbies, etc. You don’t have to make $250k a yr in order to date/marry a white women or any other women. Don’t buy into that notion because the study behind it has an agenda ! If those white women just want money and wealth , run the other way like a rocket! That kind of thinkings and behaviors will not last long term. David, maybe asian countries have to be the “Big Brother of the world” and control the world with military and money and influence America , the British and Europe in order for Asians to have special privileges. We have a Chinese saying ” we look up to the strong and step down on the weak” . It’s called arrogance. Just ignore everything out there and we will be fine. People just have to accept us for who we are. In America, our divorce rate is extremely high and we have entitlement issue here. Anyway, don’t believe and listen to all those nonsense out there. We just have to be strong minded wherever we go/live.

    Bruce

  25. David
    David October 31, 2011 at 9:55 am | | Reply

    Bruce:

    I do agree with you. However, we need to fight nonsense such as these which show Asian people in a very bad light…

    http://blog.zap2it.com/ithappenedlastnight/2011/10/the-good-wife-recap-good-she-banged-a-nice-bin-laden.html

    They showed Asian men as wussies for a long time, now they are rapists and murderers!

  26. Bruce
    Bruce October 31, 2011 at 10:40 am | | Reply

    I think if asian population is big enough in America , we can have more of our Asian American Media and hire more Asian American actors and actresses to represent the “REAL” Asians. Once , you get controlled of the media for our community, we can portray what is really in reality. We can pick who is perfect for certain roles. Of course, you understand how CHina controls the media and now you understand how America controls the media.

    Bruce

  27. LP
    LP November 5, 2011 at 2:31 pm | | Reply

    My ENTIRE family has fallen in love with Meng! Especially my Dad they can talk for hours about anything. Everyone think he’s wonderful! He grew up in China then moved here when he was 14, so he’s been here for 15 years. I know not all white parents and grandparents would be as accepting, I’m just happy mine are. This year for Thanksgiving I have to work and this is our first Thanksgiving together, stinks right? My Grandmother asked him what he was going to do since his family is still in China. His reply stay at home and watch TV. My family found this to be very unacceptable and asked him to come even though I’m not going to be there. So he agreed to go 🙂

  28. Carrie
    Carrie December 27, 2011 at 6:36 pm | | Reply

    I am surprised none of you talked about Asian parents disliking Western girlfriends!

    My boyfriend was born and raised in the US, but his parents are from Taiwan. We have been going out for 3 years and have been living together for a year and a half. He just finished college and went to Taiwan to stay with his mom for a few months (his parents are divorced and she lives there) and has had Chinese girls thrust at him left and right! He just found out that his dad had sent his mom an email begging her to introduce him to Asian girls because he thinks we are too serious and are going to get married…and his mom agreed. His mom likes to tell us how liberal she is (when I visited Taiwan, she put us in a room together), but apparently her words do not match her actions.

  29. Bruce
    Bruce December 27, 2011 at 7:55 pm | | Reply

    Go to las vegas to get married first and the rest is history. Is your bf strong and brave enough to go against his” divorced” parents. This is sooo freaking funny to that divorced people teach what is right. It’s like a fat,290 lbs doctor tells you how to diet. Seriously, does that sound right?

    Bruce

  30. Carrie
    Carrie December 27, 2011 at 9:28 pm | | Reply

    Yeah, his parents are both Chinese and their relationship didn’t turn out well….I don’t think a relationship with an Asian girl necessarily means success. I think it’s wrong to force something on him that he doesn’t want, but I can also understand that he loves his parents and doesn’t want to damage his relationship with them, you know? Especially his mom. She likes to tell us that he is her world…something I find a little funny since they haven’t lived together since he was 6, but whatever. I guess he can be her world without him being in her world?

  31. Bruce
    Bruce December 28, 2011 at 10:24 am | | Reply

    Tell your bf’s mom to carry him on her back until he’s 65 yrs old then. I understand parents are always concern about their kids even the kids are like 60 yrs old. I think you and your bf know what to do now.

  32. Kirko Bangz
    Kirko Bangz July 14, 2012 at 8:55 pm | | Reply

    You guys are complaining about acceptance of the Asian boyfriend. Hah…yeah, what about acceptance of the BLACK boyfriend?!

  33. White
    White July 19, 2012 at 6:27 am | | Reply

    All Asians hate COONS

  34. Daniel
    Daniel August 20, 2012 at 8:44 pm | | Reply

    Many white parents don like if their children get an asian wife or husband, Especially if they came directly from Asia, and from a poor country there. My parents ignore my asian wife, so you are not alone.

  35. Dan
    Dan August 20, 2012 at 10:28 pm | | Reply

    I found most people are likeable. Prejudices exist, but not in the majority. Culture differences can get in the way. If you can give, most people will return with good will. It might take time for your messages to get across, but I remain hopeful, and my experience has been positive in general. Few likes a man who plays victim even if you are right. It is easier to blow everything out of proportion in inter-cultural and inter-racial relationships.

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