Why Did I Assume I Would Stay Single in China? | Speaking of China

29 Responses

  1. Em Liu
    Em Liu August 24, 2015 at 9:49 am | | Reply

    Sounds familiar – I think a lot of us in the AMWF community have a story like that. My husband was also “friend-zoned” for a long time, until one day I suddenly realized I was in love with my best friend.

    I tend to blame the images we see in Hollywood (I wrote specifically about Asian men in Hollywood here: http://fictiondiversity.com/2015/01/31/hollywoods-real-problem-with-the-asian-male/), but I can see how a lack of diversity in one’s community could also contribute.

  2. R Zhao
    R Zhao August 24, 2015 at 11:14 am | | Reply

    In China, I think most western men generally get more (romantic) attention than western women, but that doesn’t me we are totally left in the dust! My second semester teaching, I’m pretty sure an entire class of mine had a crush on me. I’ve also been hit on here and there by local men and occasionally foreign men. It’s not completely hopeless.

  3. Boiling
    Boiling August 24, 2015 at 3:38 pm | | Reply

    It is a pretty common idea that western/non Asian women assume that they will be single in east Asia.

    I am not a western woman but I am a non east Asian woman, so a lot of it applies in a way.
    Yes, shutting ourselves off to the idea decreases any chances we may have but on the other hand my experience showed me that while white men are really hot property among east Asians, white women are generally not. Many local men are not really interested in dating them.

  4. Betty has a Panda
    Betty has a Panda August 24, 2015 at 10:24 pm | | Reply

    It looks like many who are in an AMWF relationship never even assumed to date an Asian guy in the beginning.
    When I started to date Mr. Panda I wasn’t even looking for love at all. And to be true, I did not have any special image in mind about how my Mr.Right should be. I only wished for him to be taller than me as I was always the tallest in school. 😀

  5. Sam
    Sam August 26, 2015 at 12:03 am | | Reply

    They say there’s someone for everyone……small little mercy.

    For those who like a new twist to a chat-up line ………..you’re not Google but you have everything I’m searching for.

    If nothing goes right, go left.

  6. Chinaben527
    Chinaben527 August 26, 2015 at 12:20 am | | Reply

    I am dating a polish girl who teaches in China currently ! I am a Chinese guy

    1. hadiSS
      hadiSS August 26, 2015 at 4:26 am | | Reply

      Interesting Chinaben527, is it possible for you to share your story to everyone here? I’m an AMWF enthusiast.

  7. BBC
    BBC August 26, 2015 at 6:24 am | | Reply


    You all might be interested in this story.

  8. Size matter
    Size matter August 27, 2015 at 8:37 am | | Reply
  9. Size matter
    Size matter August 27, 2015 at 8:38 am | | Reply

    Chinese guys are not at bottom at all.

  10. Size matter
    Size matter August 27, 2015 at 8:38 am | | Reply
  11. Size matter
    Size matter August 27, 2015 at 8:40 am | | Reply

    They use it well ahead of most English speaking countries. Active countries are continental europeans and Chinese.

  12. Size matter
    Size matter August 27, 2015 at 8:42 am | | Reply


    Certainly their brain size are top of the world. No wonder they are the smartest.

  13. David
    David August 27, 2015 at 11:32 pm | | Reply

    “Many local men are not really interested in dating them.”

    @Boiling…no, they are afraid of asking…it means loosing face if rejected.

    1. D-Maybe
      D-Maybe August 28, 2015 at 8:50 am | | Reply

      It’s a little more complicated. White women appeal to Chinese men because Chinese people regard white people, both the men and the women, as somehow superior but it doesn’t necessarily mean Chinese men actually find white women physically attractive as something more than a source of novelty.

  14. A & M
    A & M August 28, 2015 at 4:18 am | | Reply

    Why don’t white women /westen women stay single in China? Perhaps it’s because of the pervasive imagery that Hollywood keeps showing with Asian men, or perhaps it’s due to the complete lack of representation of Asian males in westen countries. Whatever it is, It seems media has a large role in who women see as attractive. And for Asian men, the media is simply not on our side.

  15. Northerner
    Northerner August 29, 2015 at 12:45 am | | Reply


    Are you southern Chinese? In north (manchuria, inner mogolia, hebei), the country people feel superior to white people. Actually white people are not considered attractive in many ways (intelligence, characters, physical features ect).

    We northerners often consider southerners got slave mentality (or inferiority complex)

  16. Northerner
    Northerner August 29, 2015 at 12:56 am | | Reply

    On the other hand, northern Chinese including han, mongolian, manchurian are the only people who had history of military victories over Europeans. In Chinese history, it is always northerners conquering south. Yes, northerners are proud people with humblbe personality.

    Most Cantonese are bitter and complaining all the time. They suffer severe inferiority complex yet with non-friendly attitude(arrogant) toward others. They are very clanish. Such personality change following a cline from north to south. The worst inferiority complex is in southeast Asia.

  17. Anonymous
    Anonymous August 31, 2015 at 6:05 pm | | Reply

    Wtf? Get over yourself northerner.

  18. Amber
    Amber January 29, 2016 at 12:02 am | | Reply

    This is an old link, I really like these stories. I am nun dog lady in China. I love to live vicariously through others love stories.

  19. TLAG
    TLAG May 17, 2017 at 4:56 pm | | Reply

    This Northerner person is playing divide and conquer game! This person is a troll!

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