Chapter 16: Foreign Girlfriend or Fascinating Moonlight Tale? | Speaking of China

10 Responses

  1. SBC
    SBC April 13, 2012 at 3:46 pm | | Reply

    Wow… this is strangely similar to my case but somewhat different… a few days before I was to leave for university in another country, my chinese bf’s mother who had met me told him that he could have a foreign gf but not a foreign wife (i guess coz we had already been together for more than a year)… The references you make of Chang’e really touched my heart. We are still working on me not being Chang’e fied… but we ll see…Great post! Thanks for sharing..

  2. Stephanie
    Stephanie March 12, 2013 at 6:47 pm | | Reply

    You know, there have been many times when I asked myself why it seemed that my husband and I chose such a difficult road for our future. We love each other dearly, and are committed to each other… but sometimes it seems that we ask so much of each other.

    In just the fact that I am a foreigner, and have so much to learn about the world that my husband comes from is by itself a huge obstacle. For him to have such patience and longsuffering as I blunder along must not be easy for him! Not to mention the demands that I come with when it comes to being an independent Western woman.

    The question of where to live is constant: having the option to live in my home country, or his, to live close to his family or mine. Are we being “fair” to our parents, but limiting the time that one side is able to see their grandchildren? Even in the issue of when we die, where we be buried or kept? We can say that as long as we are together, nothing else matters…but is that really true? It seems as if we will always, deep down, be sacrificing dearly for the other; that we really chose the hardest road when it comes to spending your life with someone you love.

    Even so, we are both too committed (and stubborn) to let those questions and uncertainties control what we both want to do and be.

  3. CTse
    CTse January 19, 2014 at 2:33 am | | Reply

    Perhaps it’s being raised in a Western country, but I do think that if my parents wouldn’t accept the relationship I would carry on anyway regardless. There’s a lot I could say in terms of places to live, but it’s a long story. In regards to Stephanie’s comment, I don’t think knowledge is a one-way street though, but of course it depends on the situation. If my partner has to learn about my culture, then I also want to know about his. ‘Western’ shouldn’t be generalised either, just as ‘Asian’ has many dimensions.

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