Comments for Speaking of China http://www.speakingofchina.com One Western woman with a Chinese husband writes about love, family and relationships in China 洋媳妇看中国 Sat, 04 Feb 2012 15:18:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on Ask the Yangxifu: Chinese Men, Sex and Prostitution by BRUCE http://www.speakingofchina.com/ask-the-yangxifu/chinese-men-sex-and-prostitution/#comment-43910 BRUCE Sat, 04 Feb 2012 15:18:01 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=3499#comment-43910 A Chinese friend told me yesterday that he really wanted to have a relationship with those Chinese women. He said it was hard to maintain a relationship because those women wanted a good life, they wanted to have fun and they wanted men with some money ( no need to work). If a man who makes equal to or 2 times less money than his woman in China, most likely she is still looking for someone better. In America, we have women who think like this too. This friend has dated another Chinese woman in America and that relationship didn't work out because he made 2 times less than her. Well, not all women think like this. I know a few couples here that their wives make 2 or 3 times( $150k to $200k) more than their husbands ;however, within a few yrs their husbands made more than their wives. A relationship /marriage is about building a family together. Have you experienced a lay off or your profession just disappoints for yrs or for good ? I have !!!Money just makes life better but doesn't matter 100% that it will bring you happiness. It's proven!! Of course , everyone wants to have a mansion, a wonderful wife , a luxury car , an expanding career/business. Being balance is the key to happiness to me. I want to be debt free. I want to have good health so I can still move around until my 80's . I want to go to work if I want to and under my own terms. Most men would go to prostitutes rather dealing with women problems , demands from women, nagging from women etc. Don't give up on finding your woman out there. You have to test her occasionally on any issues ( money, health, etc etc etc). Ask her what the hell is a marriage? Is it like just renting a house with someone living under one roof and have separate bank accts ? Well ? you tell me ! Bruce A Chinese friend told me yesterday that he really wanted to have a relationship with those Chinese women. He said it was hard to maintain a relationship because those women wanted a good life, they wanted to have fun and they wanted men with some money ( no need to work). If a man who makes equal to or 2 times less money than his woman in China, most likely she is still looking for someone better. In America, we have women who think like this too. This friend has dated another Chinese woman in America and that relationship didn’t work out because he made 2 times less than her. Well, not all women think like this. I know a few couples here that their wives make 2 or 3 times( $150k to $200k) more than their husbands ;however, within a few yrs their husbands made more than their wives. A relationship /marriage is about building a family together. Have you experienced a lay off or your profession just disappoints for yrs or for good ? I have !!!Money just makes life better but doesn’t matter 100% that it will bring you happiness. It’s proven!! Of course , everyone wants to have a mansion, a wonderful wife , a luxury car , an expanding career/business. Being balance is the key to happiness to me. I want to be debt free. I want to have good health so I can still move around until my 80′s . I want to go to work if I want to and under my own terms. Most men would go to prostitutes rather dealing with women problems , demands from women, nagging from women etc. Don’t give up on finding your woman out there. You have to test her occasionally on any issues ( money, health, etc etc etc). Ask her what the hell is a marriage? Is it like just renting a house with someone living under one roof and have separate bank accts ? Well ? you tell me !

Bruce

]]> Comment on Double Happiness: A Chinese-American Christian Love Story by Kath http://www.speakingofchina.com/double-happiness/chinese-american-christian-love-story/#comment-43909 Kath Sat, 04 Feb 2012 15:09:39 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=3526#comment-43909 I am so very very happy for you both! Congratulations! I love the part where you have a mouthful of ice-cream when he told you he liked you and I loved the bit where your reaction was to run around the car park squealing even better. May there be many more "running around squealing with glee" moments for you both in your life together :) I am so very very happy for you both! Congratulations! I love the part where you have a mouthful of ice-cream when he told you he liked you and I loved the bit where your reaction was to run around the car park squealing even better. May there be many more “running around squealing with glee” moments for you both in your life together :)
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]]> Comment on Ask the Yangxifu: Chinese Men, Sex and Prostitution by BRUCE http://www.speakingofchina.com/ask-the-yangxifu/chinese-men-sex-and-prostitution/#comment-43906 BRUCE Sat, 04 Feb 2012 14:19:51 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=3499#comment-43906 We know a Chinese woman here who is a total slut :) hahahah lol hahaha. Really slutty woman but she doesn't show on the outside. I know this story will excite alot of you men out there but I won't tell :). Yes, some Chinese men can be rough. bang bang bang doggy style :). We know a Chinese woman here who is a total slut :) hahahah lol hahaha. Really slutty woman but she doesn’t show on the outside. I know this story will excite alot of you men out there but I won’t tell :) . Yes, some Chinese men can be rough. bang bang bang doggy style :) .

]]> Comment on Ask the Yangxifu: Chinese Men, Sex and Prostitution by Valentina http://www.speakingofchina.com/ask-the-yangxifu/chinese-men-sex-and-prostitution/#comment-43892 Valentina Sat, 04 Feb 2012 02:12:43 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=3499#comment-43892 Like I always say, 1.5 billion people didn't come from nowhere. LOL! And add to that the number of condoms littering the place, all the underhand abortions etc and that's a LOT of sexual activity going on. Prostitution is so rife in China, I wouldn't be surprised. I find it all rather nauseating. But hey, 200RMB for a good quick bang is better than paying 200,000 to keep your Chinese wife, who will undoubtedly end up denying you sex! No security = no long term sex from any woman, so no wonder the men need to get their fix quick. In a way, Chinese women have really dug themselves into a huge hole with that one. I blame the lack of sex ed and ghastly general attitude towards sex. Most Chinese men I've met aren't happy to talk about it. Probably because many of them have shady pasts. I'm not sure my Chinese boyfriend was being truthful when he told me he'd only had sex with his uni girlfriend (who by the way was a bit of a skank and lost her virginity at 13 or so) and 1 other girl. He often talked about 'dates' or 'meetups' with other girls but never talked about any sexual contact. When we had a LDR I'm guessing he had a few encounters. Even some of his old (married) workmates would visit the cleaning ladies' dorm for sex. That really shocked me. Chinese men are rough. they'll insist on bang bang vigorous doggy style on your first time together. Raised in with a strong Catholic background, I was a virgin when I met him. Which was pretty unbelievable for him, as a foreign woman. Chinese girls are smart - they just don't talk about sex in front of others. Overall, in my experience I've often found the girls who look the most innocent are usually the biggest sluts. End of. Like I always say, 1.5 billion people didn’t come from nowhere. LOL! And add to that the number of condoms littering the place, all the underhand abortions etc and that’s a LOT of sexual activity going on. Prostitution is so rife in China, I wouldn’t be surprised. I find it all rather nauseating. But hey, 200RMB for a good quick bang is better than paying 200,000 to keep your Chinese wife, who will undoubtedly end up denying you sex! No security = no long term sex from any woman, so no wonder the men need to get their fix quick. In a way, Chinese women have really dug themselves into a huge hole with that one. I blame the lack of sex ed and ghastly general attitude towards sex. Most Chinese men I’ve met aren’t happy to talk about it. Probably because many of them have shady pasts. I’m not sure my Chinese boyfriend was being truthful when he told me he’d only had sex with his uni girlfriend (who by the way was a bit of a skank and lost her virginity at 13 or so) and 1 other girl. He often talked about ‘dates’ or ‘meetups’ with other girls but never talked about any sexual contact. When we had a LDR I’m guessing he had a few encounters. Even some of his old (married) workmates would visit the cleaning ladies’ dorm for sex. That really shocked me. Chinese men are rough. they’ll insist on bang bang vigorous doggy style on your first time together. Raised in with a strong Catholic background, I was a virgin when I met him. Which was pretty unbelievable for him, as a foreign woman. Chinese girls are smart – they just don’t talk about sex in front of others. Overall, in my experience I’ve often found the girls who look the most innocent are usually the biggest sluts. End of.

]]> Comment on Double Happiness: A Chinese-American Christian Love Story by Sveta http://www.speakingofchina.com/double-happiness/chinese-american-christian-love-story/#comment-43888 Sveta Fri, 03 Feb 2012 21:51:05 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=3526#comment-43888 Congrats to both of you. On the contrary, I'm hoping to meet someone who isn't a Christian in any shape or form on the other hand. (Not trying to be rude, but I did date a guy who wanted to be an Episcopal priest and wanted me to convert, and I didn't want to do it.) Congrats to both of you. On the contrary, I’m hoping to meet someone who isn’t a Christian in any shape or form on the other hand. (Not trying to be rude, but I did date a guy who wanted to be an Episcopal priest and wanted me to convert, and I didn’t want to do it.)
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]]> Comment on Double Happiness: A Chinese-American Christian Love Story by Blossom http://www.speakingofchina.com/double-happiness/chinese-american-christian-love-story/#comment-43887 Blossom Fri, 03 Feb 2012 21:17:58 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=3526#comment-43887 Thanks Kristen for your amazing story and the beautiful photo of you both. I wish everyone could experience love like you! Your story made me want to cry (and I am not an overly emotional type). You write so beautifully I think you need your own blog! And besides, we all want to follow you, see you get married, see you have children! :) One observation I have, is that I find it interesting that he assumed you knew he was talking about his love for you. I am seeing this sort of 'assuming' in my own relationship, and also I am seeing it in many of the posts here on Jocelyn's (awesome) blog. Is it related to shyness? Or is it more like a cultural trait... Or in fact both of these things? Anyway, cheers to you both. :) Thanks Kristen for your amazing story and the beautiful photo of you both. I wish everyone could experience love like you! Your story made me want to cry (and I am not an overly emotional type). You write so beautifully I think you need your own blog! And besides, we all want to follow you, see you get married, see you have children! :) One observation I have, is that I find it interesting that he assumed you knew he was talking about his love for you. I am seeing this sort of ‘assuming’ in my own relationship, and also I am seeing it in many of the posts here on Jocelyn’s (awesome) blog. Is it related to shyness? Or is it more like a cultural trait… Or in fact both of these things? Anyway, cheers to you both. :)

]]> Comment on Marriage in China is Home, Car, Money? by BRUCE http://www.speakingofchina.com/china-articles/marriage-in-china-home-car-money/#comment-43885 BRUCE Fri, 03 Feb 2012 20:34:05 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=2348#comment-43885 UPDATE on house, car and money : A friend just came back from China said that when he was in China dating those Chinese women, they always wanted to be with men who had money. Those Chinese women that he dated finally married other well off Chinese men ;however, they were all divorced. Their ex's didn't make money later on due to bad business decision so those women left them. I could go into more details but I have to work now :( UPDATE on house, car and money :

A friend just came back from China said that when he was in China dating those Chinese women, they always wanted to be with men who had money. Those Chinese women that he dated finally married other well off Chinese men ;however, they were all divorced. Their ex’s didn’t make money later on due to bad business decision so those women left them. I could go into more details but I have to work now :(

]]> Comment on Double Happiness: A Chinese-American Christian Love Story by David http://www.speakingofchina.com/double-happiness/chinese-american-christian-love-story/#comment-43881 David Fri, 03 Feb 2012 17:34:29 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=3526#comment-43881 "have you ever been to Kentucky or Alabama, or are you just repeating stereotypes?" Not sterotypes.... http://www.kentucky.com/2011/11/30/1977453/small-pike-county-church-votes.html http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/15/interracial-couple-denied_n_322784.html I have been to all fifty states. "My Chinese wife and I live in Auburn, Alabama, which is a university town, and my parents live in a very small town in North Alabama and go to a country church there. " Glad your experience has been good. May be it is not as good for AMWW couples. A college Volleyball white female coach in Birmingham and her Japanese executive boyfriend were literally run out of town from a suburban town. Things got so bad in 2009 that the car company sent the executive back to Japan...and the woman was from way up north, closer to the Canadian border like Kristen. May be they are more accepting of AWWM couples compared to AMWW couples down there..dont know but that could be happening. "I had a Chinese professor here tell me that he got worse treatment in Ohio than he ever did in Alabama." Parts of Ohio and PA are about the same. There is a saying PA is Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in between. "There are ignorant rednecks everywhere, but don’t lump the rest of us in with them." It is the matter of proportion and it is evident from their voting habits as in the case of the recent GOP primary in SC. “have you ever been to Kentucky or Alabama, or are you just repeating stereotypes?”

Not sterotypes….

http://www.kentucky.com/2011/11/30/1977453/small-pike-county-church-votes.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/15/interracial-couple-denied_n_322784.html

I have been to all fifty states.

“My Chinese wife and I live in Auburn, Alabama, which is a university town, and my parents live in a very small town in North Alabama and go to a country church there. ”

Glad your experience has been good. May be it is not as good for AMWW couples. A college Volleyball white female coach in Birmingham and her Japanese executive boyfriend were literally run out of town from a suburban town. Things got so bad in 2009 that the car company sent the executive back to Japan…and the woman was from way up north, closer to the Canadian border like Kristen. May be they are more accepting of AWWM couples compared to AMWW couples down there..dont know but that could be happening.

“I had a Chinese professor here tell me that he got worse treatment in Ohio than he ever did in Alabama.”
Parts of Ohio and PA are about the same. There is a saying PA is Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in between.

“There are ignorant rednecks everywhere, but don’t lump the rest of us in with them.”

It is the matter of proportion and it is evident from their voting habits as in the case of the recent GOP primary in SC.

]]> Comment on Double Happiness: A Chinese-American Christian Love Story by David L. http://www.speakingofchina.com/double-happiness/chinese-american-christian-love-story/#comment-43880 David L. Fri, 03 Feb 2012 17:18:04 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=3526#comment-43880 Great story, especially since it sounds a lot like the story between me and my wife (except it happened while I lived in China). In response to the other David...have you ever been to Kentucky or Alabama, or are you just repeating stereotypes? My Chinese wife and I live in Auburn, Alabama, which is a university town, and my parents live in a very small town in North Alabama and go to a country church there. We have never had any problems with anyone criticizing our international marriage. Ever. In the university town or the small town which is basically Redneck City, USA. Sure, there are bad apples everywhere, but you don't need to paint everyone in a large part of the US with the same brush. I had a Chinese professor here tell me that he got worse treatment in Ohio than he ever did in Alabama, but the NYC was the best place he had lived. There are ignorant rednecks everywhere, but don't lump the rest of us in with them. Great story, especially since it sounds a lot like the story between me and my wife (except it happened while I lived in China).

In response to the other David…have you ever been to Kentucky or Alabama, or are you just repeating stereotypes? My Chinese wife and I live in Auburn, Alabama, which is a university town, and my parents live in a very small town in North Alabama and go to a country church there. We have never had any problems with anyone criticizing our international marriage. Ever. In the university town or the small town which is basically Redneck City, USA. Sure, there are bad apples everywhere, but you don’t need to paint everyone in a large part of the US with the same brush. I had a Chinese professor here tell me that he got worse treatment in Ohio than he ever did in Alabama, but the NYC was the best place he had lived. There are ignorant rednecks everywhere, but don’t lump the rest of us in with them.

]]> Comment on Double Happiness: A Chinese-American Christian Love Story by ordinary malaysian http://www.speakingofchina.com/double-happiness/chinese-american-christian-love-story/#comment-43879 ordinary malaysian Fri, 03 Feb 2012 17:17:43 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=3526#comment-43879 Reading this story, I can't help but think of the Chinese belief in 缘分 (yuan fen) or destiny/fate. What if Kirsten had liked Italy? What if he had told her that he loved her when she was not ready? What if they had not met again so soon at the crusade meeting? What if... Ha, ha. The bottom line is that some many things have to happen exactly as they happened ... Of course it may all be down to just coincidence. But coincidence is a funny thing. What is it? I don't know. Neither do I know what is yuan fen. Reading this story, I can’t help but think of the Chinese belief in 缘分 (yuan fen) or destiny/fate. What if Kirsten had liked Italy? What if he had told her that he loved her when she was not ready? What if they had not met again so soon at the crusade meeting? What if… Ha, ha. The bottom line is that some many things have to happen exactly as they happened … Of course it may all be down to just coincidence. But coincidence is a funny thing. What is it? I don’t know. Neither do I know what is yuan fen.
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