“A Western woman walks into a bar…” sounds like the start of a joke. But instead of coming back with a punchline, a number of Western women came back with Chinese men who they would eventually marry.
Sure, bars get a bad rap in the world of dating sometimes — yet these women show that your local watering hole just might turn into the backdrop for your “how we met” story. (In their case, the “how I met my Chinese husband” story.)
The white girl behind White Girl in a Chinese-American World met her Chinese-American man in the most ordinary of ways, the kind of “we met in a bar” story most of us have heard before:
So, how did we meet?
Just like any normal people. At a bar.
It was a Tuesday night. I was there for a drink with a few friends and sitting in the back corner when my Chinese Guy walked in. I noticed him immediately.
“Wow, that guy is soooo hot,” I said to my friends.
I stared at him. I literally could not peel my eyes away from him. And he was looking back. After gushing for a good 20 minutes over and over to my friends, a guy in our group casually got up to go to the bathroom. When he came back, I saw him at the table of my Chinese Guy with two shots. And before I knew it, they were on their way over. My Chinese Guy handed me a shot and told me he was lucky enough to have my friend come over and give him an opportunity to talk to the “gorgeous blonde in the corner.”And then we had a great conversation. And a first date. And a first kiss.
The Bait and Switch
But sometimes, who you meet at the bar is not who you date and marry in the end. That’s what Kelly Sandor-Yang — the woman behind Tales from Hebei — learned after her experience walking into a bar in China, which she shared in her guest post for Nomadic Chick:
I went out to a bar with a friend one night, met a guy, and we exchanged numbers. Later the following week, I got a text message, in English, from a number I didn’t know. It turned out that the guy from the bar had given my number to one of his friends, because that guy spoke more English (that guy would be my husband!). After sending messages back and forth for a few weeks, he asked if we could meet one day and go for a walk in a park in our city. I had determined by this point that he didn’t seem like an axe murderer, so I agreed. We met, walked around talking for hours, had lunch, and the rest is history.
While the Boyfriend’s Away
Jo Kelly-Bai — who writes at Life Behind the Wall — went to the bar expecting to meet up with her on-again-off-again boyfriend. Instead, she had her first meetup with her future Chinese husband:
While I was [at a bar] hanging out with one of my girlfriends that happened to be there also, a guy came up to me grabbed my wrist and said let me buy you a beer. Well, I took a look at this guy. He wasn’t very big, wore black rimmed glasses, and only had on a t-shirt and jeans but the fact that he spoke English kind of impressed me and I wasn’t doing anything special anyway so I said sure….
He began to ask me the normal Chinese questions… where are you from? Do you like China? Are you single? .. when I got to the are you single part.. I told him yes.. well.. I wasn’t married, and my on again off again boyfriend was nowhere to be found, after I had been waiting at the bar for about 3 hours.
The guy was funny and sweet and said he had seen me there a couple of times but I was always with people so he didn’t get a chance to say hello to me. We spoke for another couple of hours then I told him I needed to go. He asked me for my phone number, and I was like sure. Then he said call me anytime I get bored or want to do something. I said okay I would.I left and took a taxi home arriving at about 1am and still had not heard from my unreliable boyfriend, even after I had been calling him all night . At 1:15am.. I got a call from him stating he was busy and wouldn’t be able to come see me. I figured as much and just hung up on him. (I was really strong when he wasn’t in front of me with that sexy smile)…I am 40 years old .. why am I putting up with crap from a 30-year-old. I was very pissed and wanted to just talk to someone who would make me feel better. However, at 2 am who was I going to call. Then I thought about the guy I met at the club, he was probably still up seeing as the bar didn’t shut down until 3 or 4 am.
I decided to call him, he answered on the first ring. (smile).. I said do you remember me from the club.. he said of course. I said are you sleeping he said No.. then I said.. I just wanted someone to talk to. He told me he was thrilled to be at my service.. we talked for about 2 hours about everything that came to mind. We laughed so hard we were crying. Until finally I had to tell him that I had to work the next day and I had better get off the phone. He agreed and asked me if he could call me tomorrow. I said sure.
The next day and every day following that he called me three times a day seven days a week just to talk or to say good morning or good night. He took me to dinners, tea houses, and even to see different traditional sites in town.
Yes, reader, she married him.
So who knows? Next time you walk into a bar, you might just be getting a nice shot of your future love. 😉
What do you think about meeting your boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife in a bar?
How did you meet? Why do you love him/her? We’re looking for a few good stories from Chinese men and Western women in love to share on Fridays. Submit your original story or a published blog post today.