Twelve years after she first met her Asian high school crush, Rebekah never imaged she would finally get her chance at love with him — including a kiss that, as she put it, was 12 years in the making. She originally published her story on her blog, and kindly gave me permission to edit and reprint it here.
We first “met” in high school, way back in 1994. He was a senior, I was a freshman. From what I can remember, I just loved him the instant I saw him. The big movie at that time was The Crow, Brandon Lee’s last movie (which, coincidentally was my first Asian guy crush). Imagine my surprise meeting this adorable Asian guy at school, with long hair past his shoulders and a gorgeous smile, the kind that just lights up the room. I always saw him either outside of the lunchroom or in the music room. It is so funny for me to tell this now. At age 14 I was the girl who was so shy, I could barely make eye contact with a boy. I remember actually making eye contact with him once, and I could feel my face burning. He remembers this too, and he recalls not only me turning bright red, but “cutely” covering my face with my hand before looking away. I knew I could never talk to him because I was way too shy. So off he went to college and I never thought I would see him again.
Fast forward twelve years to 2006. By this point I had already been through two serious relationships that failed. I also had a five-year-old child.
On this one particular August night I set off for another date, to meet up with this guy I had met the prior weekend for karaoke and a few drinks. I never thought this date would develop into anything, and it didn’t in the end. So I decided to send my date on his way — he didn’t seem to be the type of guy I wanted to get involved with. I felt a little down about it. But I had run into some people I knew and decided to finish out the night by singing a few more songs. I definitely wasn’t thinking this night would end in any way other than me going home and going to bed.
And then there he was. He was sitting at the end of the bar quietly sipping a drink.
I should add here that I am no longer shy, but instead I am now an extremely outgoing person. I don’t even think about it, I just go right up to people and start a conversation. I also want to add that I had quite a few cocktails by this point, so I had no fear.
So I walked right over to him and said, in a slightly tipsy voice, “Hey, didn’t you go to my high school?”
I really cannot say what went through my mind at that point, but I knew he was receptive to my advances. We left the bar and sat in his car, where we talked and caught up with each other. This person I had felt so strongly about at such a young age was amazing. We spent all night talking to each other, learning about our lives and families, past failed relationships, and what had happened to us since 1994. Finally, I got to kiss this man. A kiss 12 years in the making is surely something to be proud of. It was a kiss worth waiting 12 years for.
I didn’t want to let him go, as amazing as that night was. Also, I knew things still weren’t finalized with his last relationship, and I was so afraid he would never call me.
How wrong I was.
Since then, days have turned into weeks, weeks have turned into months, and months have turned into five and a half years together.
We have had our ups and downs. It is really hard on him to have to deal with the mess that is my son’s emotions and how hard it is on me. My son has a lot of emotional problems, partly from his father and partly from all the deaths in my immediate family. As a single Asian guy with no kids I really am amazed he has stuck by me all this time, and I feel so special that he loves me this much to deal with all of this. He has even started coming to my parents therapy with me, and has been the most supportive person in all of these struggles to help my son with his emotional problems.
Another down is that his family still doesn’t know we are dating, or that I have a child. His family is a very traditional Asian family. They have a certain idea of what his perfect woman should be like, and let’s just say I don’t fit the ideal. It really hurts that I miss out on all his family gatherings and celebrations, something I am missing from my life since both of my parents are gone. In the years we have dated I have missed out on six Thanksgivings, six Christmases, his siblings’ weddings, and two births. Sometimes it really hurts that I can’t be there for all of these family times.
I love my boyfriend more than any other man I have dated. This is the man I can see myself spending my life with. I’m not really sure what the future holds for us, but I am certain that whatever we decide, we will always be close. I always hope for the best, but sometimes life throws you a curve-ball. You never know what tomorrow will bring, so you need to make the most of it while you can.
How did you meet? Why do you love him/her (or Chinese men/Western women)? How two different people “complete each other” in unexpected ways? We’re looking for a few good stories from Chinese men and Western women in love to share on Fridays. Submit your original story or a published blog post today.