Fenshou: Algerian Muslim Falls For Chinese Atheist, But Love Doesn’t Last

(photo by openDemocracy via Flickr.com)

I receive e-mails from people all over the world with tales of love, and one of the most unusual ones comes from Soulef. She’s Algerian and Muslim, and falls for a Chinese atheist she meets in her home country. Thank you for sharing this story, Soulef!

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My name is Soulef. I am from Algeria, North Africa. I have always been interested in Asian culture, especially Japanese culture. I’m a big fan of manga and watched many manga shows and movies in their original version. But I never thought of being in love with Chinese men. China was for me the barbarian side of Asia. Yes, shame on me.

I work as a translator in an American company, which is located in a building with many other foreign companies. Two years ago, while I was waiting downstairs in the building for a friend, I noticed the most beautiful — yes, this word suits him — man that I have ever seen in my life. I was petrified. I couldn’t even look away as my heart skipped a beat. I was literally staring at him. He was Chinese and was with his colleagues. I remember that I spent two hours in the car waiting for his return. I even had lunch in my car. Stalker? Yeah, definitely.

When I got home, I told my sisters that I had “the coup de foudre” for a gorgeous Korean, as I thought he was from Korea. I spent the entire weekend thinking of him.

Upon returning to work, I was downstairs in the building at 12 noon — lunchtime — to wait for him. He saw me that time and kept staring at me. The day afterwards he sent me his phone number. I called him immediately, but he couldn’t even talk. He told me later that he was unable to speak, and that his name was Bo.

Everything was so evident and so obvious. We fell in love at the first glance, we talked about marriage and kids few days later. Of course, there were some obstacles as he said. Language. Even if we both speak English, we couldn’t express our real feeling through it. Religion, too. I am Muslim and he has no religion. Physically he had issues at the beginning as I am more curvy and not like Chinese women (we had to have a long discussion to overcome this). In age, he was four years younger than me. But it didn’t matter. We were in love, totally in love.

A few months later, he had to return to China to see his parents and to tell them about us. He was a little worried, and kept telling me he will say that I was pregnant so they would accept our marriage. I found the whole thing funny because I didn’t have a clue about his inner turmoil. I thought that since my parents agreed with it, so his parents will too.

Then my sister died and I was living a family tragedy. Bo left three days later. Then things went worse when Bo sent me an e-mail two weeks into his visit to China, saying his parents were against our marriage.

He returned from China and the guy before me was not the one I once knew. He was cold, tough and rude. He avoided me. I remember once I touched his face and cried, “Look at me! It’s me! I am the one that you love!” He was crying, but never he loved me again. Despite all this, we spent some time together. Sometimes he said he would miss me. He told me once that we would meet at the end of our lives, and that he would take me to a Chinese mountain ( I don’t remember its name). The last day, he made a video for me that I recorded. He said he was not happy. He wished I will be happy, and that I will forget him. The day after, he left forever.

Later on, sometime after returning to China, he sent me an e-mail saying he was a married man. I felt as if I was living in a real-life drama, with the loss of my sister and the love of my life.

After one year of mourning, I was still in love with Bo. But I decided it was time to meet another guy — Chinese, of course. I’ve recently been flirting with another Chinese man who also works in my building. I don’t know where things will go with him, but I’m certain of one thing. Bo changed my life forever.

Soulef is a translator in Algeria, North Africa who hopes to one day marry her true Chinese love.

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We’re looking for a few good stories from Chinese men and Western women in love — or out of love — to share on Fridays. Submit your original story or a published blog post today.

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18 thoughts on “Fenshou: Algerian Muslim Falls For Chinese Atheist, But Love Doesn’t Last

  • July 19, 2013 at 5:44 am
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    Lmfao ! Since this Racist muslim gal hate China and Chinese so much,
    But she keep falling in love with Chinese guys,One after another.
    this is a joke,Right?

    Reply
    • July 19, 2013 at 9:24 am
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      Racist? She admits her preconceived notions and her biases! But she is no racist! She follows ever admission with a line about how much she now likes China.

      If only most Chinese could be so honest about their racism and less sensitive to other people’s view of them!

      Reply
      • August 6, 2013 at 7:21 am
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        Where abouts are these chinese you speak of? That stereotype is shocking. Where did you ever come up with that notion?

        Reply
    • July 3, 2014 at 6:12 am
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      Please read once before your posting the comments. Do u notice there are so many mistakes in your sentences? That will indicate u r short of education.

      Reply
  • July 19, 2013 at 6:17 am
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    linda,

    Have you been living under a rock? Your derogatory remarks do not make sense here at all.

    Reply
  • July 19, 2013 at 8:07 am
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    I appreciate your story, as to me at least, what you’ve went through was and still is very real. As for me, I’m in love with an individual of a different ethnic background, and there are parental disagreements on both sides, so I can somewhat relate. However, I’m neither perfect or worldly in my understandings of differences – and you were just being honest. People always have misconceptions about different areas of the world because of the way their own society shapes growth. I just wish you well in your future love endeavours, regardless of what ethnicity you fall for. Visit China when you get a chance!!

    Reply
  • July 19, 2013 at 8:11 am
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    @Linda

    Do you know some women love “bad boys”? As barbarian bad Chinese boys, you have better chance with non-Chinese women.

    Reply
  • July 19, 2013 at 9:50 am
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    Also give Soulef a break

    Most people in this world are not sophiscated enough to see through Western dominated skillfully biased media. Only a few smart people can analize things through diferent angles or perspectives.

    Without Snowden revelation, most people would think China as most evil country hacking USA. US politicians exploit such bias or ignorance. Most US citizens are brainwashed to believe their govement. These `patriotic’ Americans then go around critisize China passionately on the nets. Also most people in the world are less humble than Chinese. Most people are not very self-critical of their own kind than Chinese.

    The result is very distorted image of China.

    Reply
  • July 19, 2013 at 10:13 am
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    Here is a Western guy experience in China.

    http://youtu.be/SE7LE03NYEw

    Like he said, China is totally not what western media portraited. He is obviously able to see through fog of media and make conclusion on his own.

    Reason for media bias: Political motivation(wall street journal, NYT, ect), racism motivation (a lot of them out there if you have long term memory to connect dots about their reporting style), or simple ignorance (low end of journalism).

    A lot of Westerners also enjoy racist reporting to satisfy their sense of superiority.—Schadenfreude.

    Reply
  • July 19, 2013 at 1:17 pm
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    @ Soulef. When I read your story, I almost wanted to cry. I cannot believe that the Chinese man pulled a disappearing act on you after both of you are so deeply in love with each other. For you to write that he was the most beautiful Chinese man whom you have ever seen, he must have been so good in your mind. I am so sorry to read that you lost the love of your life. All the best to you.

    You left a gaping hole in your story though. You wrote that the next day at noon you waited for him and he stared at you and then he gave you his telephone number. You also wrote that he cannot speak. If he cannot speak, how did you two communicate? What prompted him to give you his telephone number? Staring at you and then later giving you his telephone number did not make sense. Did you initiate conversation with him and then converse for awhile before he gave you his tele #? But then how did he communicate if he cannot talk or speak. Are you a sign language interpreter?

    I wish you the best.

    Reply
  • July 19, 2013 at 1:36 pm
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    I know a Chinese man who ONLY dates black women. His brother married a black woman. It’s possible.

    Reply
  • July 19, 2013 at 2:08 pm
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    The guy’s reason to break up sounds really, really fishy. He is either a married man, or has a GF back home, and was merely playing with Soulef. When Asian men accuse Western men of treating Asian women as expendable sex toys, are we really any better?
    And we’re dealing with a Muslim here. Have Chinese no religious/cultural sensitivity at all?

    Reply
  • July 19, 2013 at 6:30 pm
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    Lovely story! I find most Chinese men are beautiful to look at. What a shock to have him suddenly be so cold. Was this a deliberate tactic to try and make things easier for you, or do you think he actually resented you? Good luck finding your beautiful Chinese love.

    Reply
  • July 19, 2013 at 8:40 pm
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    I’m sorry for your loss Souleff. Recently I liked a Chinese guy and we met once, talked and I never heard from him afterwards! I wish you best of luck.

    Reply
  • July 19, 2013 at 8:46 pm
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    Soulef thanks for sharing your story. I am sorry that you went through all this. But I hope you became stronger thanks to it!

    You will some day find someone who loves you and fights for you despite of language barriers, religion or family affairs. This person exists, maybe he is Chinese or maybe not.

    Inchallah!

    Reply
  • July 20, 2013 at 8:55 am
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    Soulef, I do assume he was that cold to you to make it “easier” for you giving him up. It’s not easy to be in a situation like this, but I’m a firm believer that if things don’t work out, there’s a reason for it (maybe the reason is that you’re not supposed to be with this guy but somebody else instead). Wishing you good luck with finding real love!

    Reply
  • July 20, 2013 at 8:47 pm
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    As long both parties agree to disagree with the faith issue then nothing will stop her to marriage the atheist lover of hers. If she pushed the faith issue then she must seek the hui tribes and not the Hans

    Reply
  • July 22, 2013 at 7:18 am
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    Henry,

    I dont think this guy was lying or using Soulef. Although no one can ever tell… but it seems he underestimated the family pressure and how it would impact him. The behavioral changes also make sense, as he was probably trying to distance himself from her (I dont think he was making it easier for her, as much he was for himself), meaning he probably decided that he could not choose her over his family yet since he loved her, he thought ignoring her would make it easier for both of them.

    @Linda: Are you a troll? How is she racist? She is flagging out a very common misconception mostly propogated by western media btw…

    Your story is really heart breaking Soulef. Its really sad that even to this day we live in a world where people can accept lying and cheating but not love between people from different races. 🙁 Wish you best of luck with finding your true love, chinese or otherwise. 🙂

    Reply

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