12 Responses

  1. SBC
    SBC August 16, 2013 at 3:16 am | | Reply

    wow, this is a really sad story. I can understand that he doesn’t want to start things after ending them as some people have difficulty moving on until they completely give up. IF that is the case though, it might be worth a try to at least visit him and resume your friendship. Because if you guys had such a strong connection, then it might spark again.

    You could also offer to help him, in whichever way possible. I am sad to hear your story and it must be very painful.

  2. Lina
    Lina August 16, 2013 at 9:27 am | | Reply

    Sigh, made me so upset… Having a Chinese husband I can understand a bit why he was doing that, not to mention financial trouble could make every guy feel like losing their face but as a little bit naive lady I cannot accept why do that thing? I wish ‘Lisa’ very best, same to that guy – hope everything will end up better than it seems today. Maybe try contact him again? There’s nothing to lose now. Keep my fingers crossed for you.

  3. Bruce
    Bruce August 16, 2013 at 10:03 am | | Reply

    You two have made a very big mistake! You don’t run away from something wonderful! Listen, those insurance co/ judges can only garnish your wages to pay back debts. Typical Chinese men will never let others help. Too bad you didn’t know friends like me. I would have told you two to stick it out. I said several times already here that if you’ve found someone special , never let that person go away. Who doesn’t have debts nowadays? Debts can be settled pennies to the dollar! hint hint …….

  4. Ria
    Ria August 16, 2013 at 10:27 am | | Reply

    My heart is with you…big hug.

  5. Sveta
    Sveta August 16, 2013 at 10:38 am | | Reply

    I’m sorry to hear that this happened and wish you all the best.

  6. Henry Yeh
    Henry Yeh August 16, 2013 at 11:54 am | | Reply

    Filial piety going overboard.

  7. Marcus
    Marcus August 16, 2013 at 1:10 pm | | Reply

    This is indeed a very sad story! It seems that the overbearing family placed the blame on her for causing the accident that resulted in a big financial loss. So sadly, he have to side with his parents because that whole filial piety thing…That’s just not fair!

  8. Oegukeen
    Oegukeen August 16, 2013 at 1:15 pm | | Reply

    Wow, this is so heartbreaking. I don’t know what I would do if this had happened to me.

    Especially the part with dog tags hit me hard, because (like all other Koreans) my boyfriend had to spend 2 years in the army and I know how much they meant to him when he gave them to me.
    Oegukeen recently posted..Korean packages: pronunciation book, Kwave magazines and suprise gifts from Korean embassy

  9. Laura
    Laura August 16, 2013 at 9:04 pm | | Reply

    Sad story…
    It strikes me every time I read about someone leaving someone else like this. With problems that generally do have a solution.

    Anyway…
    If a guy really wants you to forget him and move on paying your flight back, telling you that he wanted it to work, giving you something to remember him and trying to look like a kind person who has no other solution is, from my view, not a way to help anyone, must be the way he is used to do things, but that way the other person won’t be able to move on. Now, if you want her to leave sad, guilty …yes do that,..make her feel bad about herself, the situation and yourself, and don’t lose your face.
    Laura recently posted..My first step into China: A graduate internship

  10. foerest
    foerest August 19, 2013 at 2:48 pm | | Reply

    The story is realy touching my heart. Wish the best for you.

    @Laura – Dont think anyone can forget the one who makes heart stop and skip. We will always wonder “what if” even without anything tangible.

  11. Yabin
    Yabin August 25, 2013 at 8:06 pm | | Reply

    My first reaction is it’s not really about a relationship — this man is living his life with a lot of personal issues. Romance relationship is just a mirror, perhaps the best mirror, that reflected all his problems. His sense of guilt that seems hard to understand for Lisa, which might indicate his high level of narcissism; His mental image of a “right relationship”; And his image of himself (“once he ends things, it is over”). And the insurance claim is a catalyst for his problems to burst out — it could be anything else in his life in my opinion.

    And I feel bad for Lisa because she is innocent. She might have her problems too but I don’t see that from this story. She was confused and angry and had no idea of what’s going on. I think every girl would feel the same because this man’s problem will emerge someday eventually in every relationship.

    I personally think Lisa might be better off without this man — at least before he took the time to really observe himself instead of trying to recess into a “secure” cave. Imagine what if the insurance claim happens after their happy marriage? That man’s inclination of “sacrificing himself ” might make this whole stuff really complex.

    Well it’s just my opinion, and I might be severely wrong because I knew their relationship from this short story which could be biased. But I do think love is impossible without a mature soul — or two souls.

  12. W
    W August 29, 2013 at 4:23 am | | Reply

    I’m sorry to be posting such a negative comment, but this guy is an idiot and an absolute dumbass.

    If it matters at all, I am also Chinese (by ethnicity but not nationality).

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