“Sara” (not her real name) met a Chinese man online, and soon came to think of him as her soulmate. But even though he loved her deeply, he ultimately felt that she “deserved a better man.” Read on, and thanks to Sara for sharing!
I was using QQ International for a while now and something amazing happened. One day I received a message from a Chinese guy who is living in the Netherlands on temporary basis. He just wanted to chat. Although we had a 15-year age difference, soon we talked on a daily basis.
From the beginning, we were soulmates. We both had the same odd humor (a bit ironic and teasing), and the same stubborn and competitive personality. We loved the same movies — such as Woody Allen’s Whatever Works — and enjoyed good conversations about life and love. We could talk for hours and there was never a dull moment. I learned more about differences in Dutch and Chinese society, like filial piety in China (which is different from the Netherlands) and the way parents are involved in lives of their children. Most of all, we had so much love and respect for each other. We decided to meet and it was love at first sight.
But after a couple of months, something changed. He told me that I deserved a better man. It was not because of his own reputation, but it was because of my reputation. It had to do with my job as a civil servant in the Netherlands. He felt like he was not good enough for me, and that he could never be my equal. So if he would go on with the relationship, he would be selfish. He told me he would be an obstacle on my way to finding a better man to marry. It was like he was sacrificing himself to give me a better life. We talked about it, because I didn’t want to search for another guy to marry. But he was so stubborn and proud, and he just couldn’t handle the situation.
So, one day he just quit without saying anything and never answered a message or phone call. That caused so much pain — not only for me, but also for him. I lost my beautiful Chinese love and my soulmate, and he wanted me to forget about him. But that will never happen.
I feel lucky to have shared time with such a wonderful person, and I have enjoyed learning about Chinese culture. This summer, I hope to start a Mandarin Chinese language course, so I can practice conversation with other Chinese friends of mine. And maybe I will visit China in 2014.
We’re looking for a few good stories from Chinese men and Western women in love — or out of love — to share on Fridays. Submit your original story or a published blog post today.