Guest Post: On Being an Expat Wife in China | Speaking of China

24 Responses

  1. Svetlana
    Svetlana April 20, 2017 at 7:46 am | | Reply

    Would love to read and review the book 🙂

    1. antonella
      antonella April 20, 2017 at 2:00 pm | | Reply

      Hi Svetlana! I contacted you on your blog’s email!! Thank you for your interest in my work!

  2. Nicki Chen
    Nicki Chen April 20, 2017 at 8:37 am | | Reply

    Antonella, I’m looking forward to reading your book. I’d also be interested in reviewing it on my blog. Expat wives and how they adjust is definitely a fascinating topic, but not much has been written it.

    When I was a “trailing spouse” in the 1970s, ’80s, and early ’90s, as far as I know, the term hadn’t yet been invented. We were just expat wives.

    I had to do a lot of research for my first novel, Tiger Tail Soup, which was set in China in the 1930s and ’40s. I’d visited China couple of times by the time I started writing it, but I’d never lived there, and certainly not so many years ago. Now I’m working on a novel about an expat wife. It’s set in countries I’ve lived in, so at least I don’t have to worry about research.

    1. antonella
      antonella April 20, 2017 at 2:12 pm | | Reply

      Hi Nicki! Definitely life of expat wives can be of inspiration for many books! I look forward to yours! Thank you for your interest in reviewing my novel, you can contact me on my email (contact page on my blog).

  3. Louise Bell
    Louise Bell April 20, 2017 at 9:18 am | | Reply

    So of course I had to buy the book, which I’ve just done, and my Kindle and I now have a date 🙂

    1. antonella
      antonella April 20, 2017 at 2:15 pm | | Reply

      Thank you, Louise!

  4. Holly Hollins
    Holly Hollins April 20, 2017 at 9:59 am | | Reply

    Interesting read! I wish I had a kindle, but I have a Nook. Maybe there is a way to buy the book. Will have to put that on my summer reading list (:

    1. antonella
      antonella April 20, 2017 at 2:30 pm | | Reply

      Hi Holly! The book is available also in paperback edition. Amazon just needs some days to link it to the book page!

      1. Holly Hollins
        Holly Hollins May 7, 2017 at 11:00 pm | | Reply

        Good news! I won a Kindle Fire from my university’s counseling center two weeks ago! So I’m able to purchase the book on my kindle fire.

  5. Marta
    Marta April 20, 2017 at 6:15 pm | | Reply

    Thanks for posting this, Jocelyn! I’m looking forward to reading the book and meeting Antonella in Suzhou *^_^*

    1. antonella
      antonella April 20, 2017 at 11:01 pm | | Reply

      Me too!

  6. Julie Collins-Ni
    Julie Collins-Ni May 5, 2017 at 10:07 pm | | Reply

    We live in the United States right now. We deal with some struggles. Things are not perfect here for Americans married to Chinese men. Americans and Chinese think us too strange. I have Chinese women in the United States asking my husband. “Isn’t he hungry!? American wife?! What will you eat?!” Really, I would never walk away from my marriage, but it can be difficult sometimes. If we are ostracized here, what will happen in China? Will I have friends? Will Chinese women continue to shun me as a joke wife? I will follow my husband anywhere with no regrets , but it still feels overwhelming.

    1. Blue Sky Country
      Blue Sky Country May 6, 2017 at 10:55 pm | | Reply

      I understand exactly what you are saying about marriage and its difficulties, however, one of the things that should never contribute to the potential struggles in a married life is how others may judge you.

      Think about this: Every single day, we are judged no matter where we go. I get on a subway train in NYC and immediately notices people looking, at me or at other people also getting on. When I sit down, then I naturally glance at others getting on or off. It is normal of people to judge when they see something, anything. People see my dusty work jacket and heavy canvas gloves sticking out of a back pocket and immediately think “oh, this guy is a construction worker and he is Asian”. Well I do delivery driving but thats close. And if I see a man reading a magazine with energy drink commercials and exercise equipment on the cover, I may think “oh this guy probably does mixed martial arts or something”. Thing is, if we pay attention to EVERY single detail of other peoples’ thoughts, implicit or otherwise, we might just go insane from the information overload. It will be like walking down a street trying to memorize every license plate that drives by.

      People judge, and we should not let that affect what WE as individuals do. We are not diatoms that make up a coral colony or worker bees serving a queen. We are individuals with every right to pursue our own dreams and goals. I understand it is sometimes frustrating when you or your husband receives looks or a random poorly thought out question. Hell, it is the same for me, a single individual. Sometimes people whisper to each other on the bus if I might be a drug dealer or an addict or some burned out thug when I get off from work and I am disheveled and my clothes are dirty. And I drive an unmarked white box truck for local freight sometimes. Yes here comes the kidnapper and pedophile jokes. I hear them and I am forced to ignore them for productivity’s sake. This is what a single working guy deals with on a daily basis. Not to mention the times I am standing outside a convenience store to finish a cigarette, my hands in my coat pockets and the guys working inside glance among each other no doubt thinking I am gonna rob the place or something. If I let all that get to me I would have to lock myself in some remote cabin somewhere and close off all contact with the world. Yeah and become some horror story hermit LOL right?

      What others say should never undermine a relationship. The companionship and love between two people who share such strong and positive emotions for each other is simply too precious to allow to be damaged by remarks or questions from strangers who dont know better. It is like me using a $200 Browning hunting knife to cut down a pile of dirty waterlogged shipping cartons at the back of the warehouse trash storage. No I am going to use my cheap expendable Home Depot stockman razor for that. That Browning stays oiled and sharp inside my belt just in case it has to save my life or someone elses’ life.

      Please dont let the “bandwagon” pollute the wonderful relationship you have with your husband. Like you said in another post, Kong and Julie will ALWAYS be Kong and Julie and it should be that way for always. May the best of luck and my warmest wishes be with you and your husband. Dont ever let something so precious get tainted by the meaningless BS that we as people deal with every day in life. Oh by the way, that cheap stockman razor broke this morning when I was prying out pebbles from the tire treads of one of the trucks in the lot that had apparently been taken offroad yesterday in the rain. HAHAHA oh well. I can get another one for 2 dollars.

  7. Julie Collins-Ni
    Julie Collins-Ni May 7, 2017 at 12:20 am | | Reply

    BlueSky, you always confirm what I know so well. I think that you have a lot in common with Kong. He also does construction. He built all the restaurants with his own hands and he gets stares as well. Lol. We think it is so so funny. I believe that I said this before, I will say again to you that I think you will be an amazing husband.

    1. Blue Sky Country
      Blue Sky Country May 7, 2017 at 11:30 pm | | Reply

      Thank you so much for your kind words Julie! Your post on the “multicultural marriages” thread about you and Kong moved me so much. Just the way you wrote about your relationship is enough to state the fact that you two are truly meant for each other. When the there is a lot of negativity in the world, which there is, it tends to build up just like the smoke from a group of pool players puffing repeatedly on cheap cigarettes in a small enclosed room. There is absolutely no need to get all that ash and stench on your clothing, in your nostrils and in your lungs and make your day miserable.

      My best wishes once again to you and Kong.

  8. Julie Collins-Ni
    Julie Collins-Ni May 8, 2017 at 1:58 am | | Reply

    Jocelyn, thanks for the kind words!!! They mean a lot to me right now. I know you understand how it is in the United States and prejudice. Your husband’s civil case is a pretty solid and unfortunate situation. I know you have experienced how it can be here. Many days reading articles and blogs on Speaking of China give me much solace when facing difficulty. Thanks for giving a safe haven. We are the lucky women with extraordinary husbands. ????

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