Guest Post: Why I Love and Hate Pickup Artists – New TEDx Speech

I’m thrilled to welcome Wang Jia (who you might remember from his AMWF TEDx speech) back to the blog once again. Last time he blogged about the world of pickup artists; this time, he’s here to share his latest TEDx speech titled “Why I love and hate Pickup Artists”.

Do you have something you’d like to see featured on Speaking of China? Check out the submit a post page and then contact me today with your ideas or draft post.

My first TEDx speech [] was about Asian men Western women (AMWF) relationships. I never expected that so many people would reach out to me with a whole range of thoughts. One repeated theme was the pickup artists (PUA), also known as the seduction community. Some believe that pickup is the best way to balance the AMWF issue. In a previous blog, I have written some of my thoughts. It’s a fascinating topic. I feel strongly that more people should know about the existence of PUA, especially women.

From a small sample group of my friends, I discovered that PUA is widely known among men, but for women, it’s another story. There is limited knowledge about PUA and often it’s biased. PUA is mainly a male thing, indeed, but it is a very important development in modern dating. It should be equally important for women.

When I discovered PUA around 2005 it was still a relatively unknown community. I learned some things and was not convinced that this was something for me. Even though I was struggling to have a successful dating life. That’s probably why PUA kept coming back to me. After my first TEDx, I thought, why not do a speech on PUA? And TEDx is fun!

Some people told me it was courageous to talk about the seduction community on TEDx. Yes, and I allowed myself to be that bad boy! TEDx is full of all kinds of topics. Some are shocking, some are depressing, some are controversial. I have always wondered why there was no speech focused on pickup artists?

My speech is now online: “Why I love and hate Pickup Artists”. []

While preparing this speech, I interviewed many PUA coaches, gathered data, and attended some PUA training sessions once again (don’t ask me how my wife felt about it… 😉 ). I also encountered a strong resistance from the TEDx community on this topic. It was an eye opener for me to see some of the harsh rejections. At a certain moment I noticed that this topic makes some people feel very uncomfortable. But I believe in my mission, even if no one appreciates my effort, even if I am not a dating expert. I want to make more people know about PUA with a balanced view.

From a public speaking point of view, I must admit, it was tough to squeeze everything into a 13-minute speech. I changed versions so much that I ran out of friends to get feedback. They all got fed up with it. Some even got pissed off by what I wanted to say. You may find that my first speech on Asian men Western women was more fun and engaging, but only I know the work I put into this speech.

If you think some of your friends need to know about PUA, then please share my speech. You can also continue the conversation about PUA on my blog

Wang Jia blogs about the chemistry of relationships at You can view his first TEDx speech on AMWF: Western Women, Eastern Men at

Speaking of China is always on the lookout for outstanding guest posts! If you have something you’d like us to feature, visit the submit a post page for details — and then submit yours today.

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3 thoughts on “Guest Post: Why I Love and Hate Pickup Artists – New TEDx Speech

  • August 13, 2017 at 1:55 am

    I wished that I knew about the PUA community when I was younger and single. I would have loved to learn some of their tactics and methods and then applied them in real life situations. I would have had a lot more fun and success.

  • August 15, 2017 at 7:03 am

    Jocelyn, you are quite “naughty.”


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