Guest Post: Nothing Can Prepare You for Living with Chinese Relatives | Speaking of China

9 Responses

  1. Lao Zhang
    Lao Zhang October 28, 2016 at 12:03 pm | | Reply

    Haha, you are just in your twenties, there is a long way to go for happiness (or challenges, who knows?). But it is better if you have your own residence independent of the in-laws. Out of sight, out of mind. They might influence you through their son or your husband, but now there are more and more distractions available to turn away their attention, like a grandchild or square dance (group dance in public squares). Haha, good luck.

  2. Miriam
    Miriam October 28, 2016 at 12:52 pm | | Reply

    Aww, you and your boyfriend look so happy together 🙂 :-). I agree with Lao Zhang that you need to get your own place! I lived with my parents for 6 months as an adult and it isn’t something I would ever do again.

    I think living in China as a westerner can really work out well sometimes – there seem to be more opportunities here work-wise and and I love the family oriented culture. Wishing all good things to you both on your adventure together!

  3. Marion
    Marion October 28, 2016 at 8:05 pm | | Reply

    Wow. I just had an inconclusive discussion on same issue. Came to the blog to post a question, and here is Becky writing about it! Thanks!

    (Now, how DO you stop people barging in when you’re sleeping?)

  4. Hypnocorg
    Hypnocorg October 29, 2016 at 12:58 pm | | Reply

    This is the only cultural issue we’ve ever had! My mother and father in law are the kindest most amazing people in the world but OMG. When I had my son they came to stay for six months and I seriously almost tore my hair out and curled into a ball and died. The cultural difference was like a truck to the face. They wanted to do everything for my baby and they were ALWAYS around. It made me seriously nuts. I found after finding what was worth fighting for I was much happier. I made sure they knew I was going to be the primary care giver and they were there to help- not the other way around! And barging into my room was 1000% unacceptable. Other than that they did things their way- and I mine. There was a huge learning curve but you can find a balance! Good luck and you guys are adorable!

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