Comments on: Giving Gifts to your Chinese family – A Modest Guide http://www.speakingofchina.com/how-to-china-guides/gifts-chinese-family/ One Western woman with a Chinese husband makes sense of China 洋媳妇谈中国 Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:44:03 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Abee http://www.speakingofchina.com/how-to-china-guides/gifts-chinese-family/comment-page-1/#comment-919 Abee Wed, 06 Jan 2010 09:55:35 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=207#comment-919 I appreciate the post/suggestions! =) Your knowledgeable perspective on this topic is great help. I appreciate the post/suggestions! =) Your knowledgeable perspective on this topic is great help.

]]> By: Susan http://www.speakingofchina.com/how-to-china-guides/gifts-chinese-family/comment-page-1/#comment-801 Susan Fri, 18 Dec 2009 03:58:07 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=207#comment-801 About the re-gifting, my experience is that it's extremely common, quite acceptable, and part of the social "grease" in parts of Chinese society. In fact, this subject of re-gifting causes me to wonder if the Chinese invented it! I also wonder if it's ever been studied by any sociologist (my geeky academic side at work). The re-gifting culture has ended up helping us here, since we've been given alot of things we neither can use nor have space for in our luggage going home, and it's handy to re-give when you are taken to dinner (etc.) by yet another person, as a show of thanks. I won't go into the countless (and sometimes bewildering) examples we've experienced here, but suffice it to say, you are likely helping out your relative, even if they re-gift the item you give them, since there's always someone they'll need to give a gift to! About the re-gifting, my experience is that it’s extremely common, quite acceptable, and part of the social “grease” in parts of Chinese society. In fact, this subject of re-gifting causes me to wonder if the Chinese invented it! I also wonder if it’s ever been studied by any sociologist (my geeky academic side at work). The re-gifting culture has ended up helping us here, since we’ve been given alot of things we neither can use nor have space for in our luggage going home, and it’s handy to re-give when you are taken to dinner (etc.) by yet another person, as a show of thanks. I won’t go into the countless (and sometimes bewildering) examples we’ve experienced here, but suffice it to say, you are likely helping out your relative, even if they re-gift the item you give them, since there’s always someone they’ll need to give a gift to!

]]> By: KSL http://www.speakingofchina.com/how-to-china-guides/gifts-chinese-family/comment-page-1/#comment-795 KSL Thu, 17 Dec 2009 17:22:19 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=207#comment-795 Along the same lines as vitamins, fish oil supplements are pretty big right now. On re-gifting - I think it's much more openly accepted in China than in the U.S. When my mother re-gifts, she will often tell her recipient that the item was a gift from someone else. Along the same lines as vitamins, fish oil supplements are pretty big right now. On re-gifting – I think it’s much more openly accepted in China than in the U.S. When my mother re-gifts, she will often tell her recipient that the item was a gift from someone else.

]]> By: pug_ster http://www.speakingofchina.com/how-to-china-guides/gifts-chinese-family/comment-page-1/#comment-614 pug_ster Mon, 30 Nov 2009 15:00:12 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=207#comment-614 You're right about the vitamins thing. I know some of my wife's co-workers who comes to the States from China for the first time and the first store they go to is GNC. Also, my wife's co-workers from China like us to buy vitamins in bulk, namely from costco. You’re right about the vitamins thing. I know some of my wife’s co-workers who comes to the States from China for the first time and the first store they go to is GNC. Also, my wife’s co-workers from China like us to buy vitamins in bulk, namely from costco.

]]> By: Jocelyn http://www.speakingofchina.com/how-to-china-guides/gifts-chinese-family/comment-page-1/#comment-609 Jocelyn Mon, 30 Nov 2009 04:38:58 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=207#comment-609 Melanie, Thanks for the great comment -- excellent suggestions. Good point on the sweets. It's so true that American sweets are usually way too sugary for the Chinese palate. I have given some chocolates here from the States, but not very many -- at least, not enough to get a sense that they were overly sweet for Chinese. Your point on re-gifting is so insightful. Now that I think about it, I have seen others in my Chinese family re-gift things. Nice kids' suggestion. You know, I did buy Legos for my nephew this summer...but not realizing they were so much more expensive in China. Good to know. And good call on the skin-bronzing products. That one slipped by me! I guess the whole idea of "milk-white skin" has been permanently ingrained into my consciousness after hearing way too many Qingchun Bao ads (更白，更细，更光洁). ;-) Melanie,

Thanks for the great comment — excellent suggestions.

Good point on the sweets. It’s so true that American sweets are usually way too sugary for the Chinese palate. I have given some chocolates here from the States, but not very many — at least, not enough to get a sense that they were overly sweet for Chinese.

Your point on re-gifting is so insightful. Now that I think about it, I have seen others in my Chinese family re-gift things.

Nice kids’ suggestion. You know, I did buy Legos for my nephew this summer…but not realizing they were so much more expensive in China. Good to know.

And good call on the skin-bronzing products. That one slipped by me! I guess the whole idea of “milk-white skin” has been permanently ingrained into my consciousness after hearing way too many Qingchun Bao ads (更白，更细，更光洁). ;-)

]]> By: melanie gao http://www.speakingofchina.com/how-to-china-guides/gifts-chinese-family/comment-page-1/#comment-606 melanie gao Sun, 29 Nov 2009 23:43:38 +0000 http://www.speakingofchina.com/?p=207#comment-606 You know how they say married couples fight over three things - money, sex and the kids? In my marriage "gift giving" will trump all of those. I have learned so much in this area over this years, and every single lesson was painful. Here are my thoughts. Sweets: Good idea to suggest buying ones made in China for the Chinese palette. I have spent hours laboring over cakes and cookies, only to have my in-laws or friends reject them as too sweet. Even if I cut the sugar in half! And forget about gifting American treats like Oreos or Reese's peanut butter cups - those are definitely too sweet. Other flavors to avoid: licorice or mint-flavored chocolate. Re-gifting: It hurt my feelings so badly the first time someone in my husband's family re-gifted something that I had carefully chosen just for them. But I had to get over it. I learned to stop spending so much time choosing a gift that was perfect for them. Instead I started focusing on gifts that could be easily re-gifted! Gloves for example are a good gift that can be easily re-gifted if necessary. Brand-name handbags are another, as well as high-end moisturizers. Lipstick is bad, as are shoes, foundation and anything monogrammed. In the end I realized that re-gifting isn't meant as an insult to the giver, and it doesn't mean the recipient wasn't grateful. And people do it the U.S. as well, they just try to hide it a little more. Cigarettes: This one is tough! Naturally I don't want to encourage people to smoke, but if I know someone is a smoker and they will spend lots of money on tobacco, and if I'm going to give them a gift anyway and I want to give them something they can really use, well, cigarettes are perfect. They're light and easy to transport, they won't go bad. And they can be easily re-gifted! For kids: Lego's. They're so expensive in China. And all the kids here I know love them. Avoid: Skin-bronzing products. It would be like giving an American a product that would turn their teeth yellow! :) (On a side note, I am forever perplexed by the fact that Americans are obsessed with whitening their teeth and Asians are obsessed with whitening their skin, but neither has infected the other with their obsession.) You know how they say married couples fight over three things – money, sex and the kids? In my marriage “gift giving” will trump all of those. I have learned so much in this area over this years, and every single lesson was painful. Here are my thoughts.

Sweets: Good idea to suggest buying ones made in China for the Chinese palette. I have spent hours laboring over cakes and cookies, only to have my in-laws or friends reject them as too sweet. Even if I cut the sugar in half! And forget about gifting American treats like Oreos or Reese’s peanut butter cups – those are definitely too sweet. Other flavors to avoid: licorice or mint-flavored chocolate.

Re-gifting: It hurt my feelings so badly the first time someone in my husband’s family re-gifted something that I had carefully chosen just for them. But I had to get over it. I learned to stop spending so much time choosing a gift that was perfect for them. Instead I started focusing on gifts that could be easily re-gifted! Gloves for example are a good gift that can be easily re-gifted if necessary. Brand-name handbags are another, as well as high-end moisturizers. Lipstick is bad, as are shoes, foundation and anything monogrammed. In the end I realized that re-gifting isn’t meant as an insult to the giver, and it doesn’t mean the recipient wasn’t grateful. And people do it the U.S. as well, they just try to hide it a little more.

Cigarettes: This one is tough! Naturally I don’t want to encourage people to smoke, but if I know someone is a smoker and they will spend lots of money on tobacco, and if I’m going to give them a gift anyway and I want to give them something they can really use, well, cigarettes are perfect. They’re light and easy to transport, they won’t go bad. And they can be easily re-gifted!

For kids: Lego’s. They’re so expensive in China. And all the kids here I know love them.

Avoid: Skin-bronzing products. It would be like giving an American a product that would turn their teeth yellow! :) (On a side note, I am forever perplexed by the fact that Americans are obsessed with whitening their teeth and Asians are obsessed with whitening their skin, but neither has infected the other with their obsession.)

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