How Blogging Saved My Life (More on the Courage to Blog About Love in China) | Speaking of China

12 Responses

  1. Autumn
    Autumn June 8, 2016 at 1:35 am | | Reply

    First, I’m really glad you didn’t give up blogging, for my own selfish reasons. Even if I found you a little too late!

    Second, I’m really proud of you for not giving up on your husband, your dreams, and your own life. Yay, Jocelyn! You are a fighter! Don’t give up! Never surrender!

    Third, depression is understandable. It’s really difficult to focus on the positive things in your life when your dreams are crushed. When I have to cope with losing a job, having my work rejected, losing a parent, etc., I can make jokes — some of the VERY BLACK — and haul myself back out of the hole. It’s not easy, but it can be done.

    But when it’s a family member, close friend or partner? I think sometimes it’s worse to be the bystander when your loved one’s dreams are crushed. There’s such a sense of helplessness. You don’t know what to do or say. And sometimes what I would need isn’t what the other person needs. And sometimes that other person is a gaping maw of need, and that’s exhausting, too.

    I’m glad you guys made it. Well done.

  2. Jonathan
    Jonathan June 8, 2016 at 1:43 am | | Reply

    strong support for your fighting

  3. Sorrel
    Sorrel June 8, 2016 at 1:52 pm | | Reply

    It takes great courage to admit a weakness or experiencing a difficult time in your life, and even greater courage to be open about it online, where you can expose yourself to trolls and key-board warriors who in themselves probably weak and inadequate in real life.

    Unfortunately admitting to depression (a perfectly normal response to circumstances and may not last a long time), especially in China, is a very large step because it is misunderstood and still very much stigmatised. Whereas depression is something most people will experience at some point in their life so recognising it for what it is and responding with understanding and support is essential.

    Your honesty should give people the courage to confide and trust in family and friends to help, even if it is to be silent and listen by way of support. I think we have all witnessed the amount of goodwill that genuine people have to help and support. But I also think we should all take a look at ourselves, as I have reading your blogs, and ask how much support we give those closest to ourselves and how much our daily ‘judgements’ can impact on them.

  4. Cat
    Cat June 10, 2016 at 7:17 am | | Reply

    I have been reading all your posts about this awful situation you and Jun are in very closely. While I have not had a similar experience I know what it is like to not be able to talk about something that’s really impacting on your life and to have to try and be ok when you aren’t ok. I really hope you can beat this.

  5. Ruth - China Elevator Stories
    Ruth - China Elevator Stories June 12, 2016 at 10:33 am | | Reply

    I’m glad you’re able to talk about it more openly now and don’t have to pretend like nothing serious is going on in your life. It must have been really hard to keep all this information to yourself all these years. I’m also glad you didn’t end it all and found the courage to keep on blogging. Sending you hugs!

  6. Traveller at heart
    Traveller at heart June 12, 2016 at 6:17 pm | | Reply

    I don’t know if there is such thing as what goes around, comes around. Perhaps!

    While my challenges did not carry on for as long as yours (except for a few personal stuff, many moons ago), both Jun and you have had been so brave and supportive of each other.

    Wishing both Jun and you the very best in the law suit. I hope Jun will be warded accordingly ie the PHD and compensation claims.

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