My husband Jun Yu and I have been fighting an important US Federal Court lawsuit that involves discrimination (and more). We strongly believe that justice will eventually prevail.
But there’s a human side to a US lawsuit. It’s inevitable that a huge US Federal Court case will ultimately affect you in countless ways, changing your life.
For a long time, I’ve struggled with how to exactly put this into words. But then I started thinking about a lot of the different experiences I’ve had in this past year related to the case. I started by writing a few things, and before I knew it I had a whole list.
So if you’ve ever wondered what it means to support your husband’s discrimination lawsuit, here’s a sampling of what it’s like:
It means buying a suit jacket and black dress at H&M at the last minute because your lawyer insisted you MUST be there at Jun’s deposition to support him. And even though the idea of watching your husband be deposed makes you anxious – and even though you toss and turn the entire night before – you show up the morning of his deposition dressed like this, and pull on your bravest smile.
It means driving, not flying, together across the US to save on the precious $$$ that this lawsuit is costing you. And as it turns out, you end up doing it during a summer when the nation’s midsection is getting barbecued under a scorching heatwave.
It also means staying at campgrounds along the way to cut costs as well. In one case, you arrive late and then get caught in a downpour that forces you to spend the night in your car.
It means spending an inordinate amount of time and energy on the challenge of collecting funds to pay your monthly legal bills. And even starting a crowdfunding campaign. It also means being shocked that your last monthly bill topped $40,000.
It means re-reading reports from all the Very Important Experts in the psychology field who support your husband. They’re a reminder that you and your husband have great leaders behind you…leaders who believe this is an important case.
It means sacrificing your appendix to the cause. (RIP, appendix)
It means that, even though you’re a lapsed Catholic with diverse spiritual beliefs that include Buddhist and Taoist ideas and you still haven’t been to mass in years, you start your mornings praying to St. Jude.
It means living a super-frugal existence in an apartment smaller than any hotel room you’ve ever stayed in, because you need to save money for the lawsuit and its associated costs.
It means learning more about the legal system than you ever expected to know, and impressing family and friends at parties with your understanding of motions, depositions and declarations.
It means being amazed by the fact that your husband’s case is getting stronger every day – and remembering how far you’ve come from when the injustice first took place.
It means feeling emotional about the injustice from time to time, and finding solace in a good hug.
It means discovering who your real friends and supporters are, and feeling your spirits soar whenever someone says to you, “I’m glad you’re fighting this.”
It means in the darkest moments, finding ways to remind yourself that you did it all for #JusticeForJun. Like when your friend Sally told you to never forget in your heart what this battle is all about.
It means learning to see the silver lining to everything that happened to you and Jun – and believing that this will lead the both of you to something better than you ever imagined.
What do you think?
P.S.: In case you’re new to Jun’s case, you can learn more about it here.