What It Means to Support Your Husband’s Discrimination Lawsuit

My husband Jun Yu and I have been fighting an important US Federal Court lawsuit that involves discrimination (and more). We strongly believe that justice will eventually prevail.

But there’s a human side to a US lawsuit. It’s inevitable that a huge US Federal Court case will ultimately affect you in countless ways, changing your life.

For a long time, I’ve struggled with how to exactly put this into words. But then I started thinking about a lot of the different experiences I’ve had in this past year related to the case. I started by writing a few things, and before I knew it I had a whole list.

So if you’ve ever wondered what it means to support your husband’s discrimination lawsuit, here’s a sampling of what it’s like:

img_20160726_101028It means buying a suit jacket and black dress at H&M at the last minute because your lawyer insisted you MUST be there at Jun’s deposition to support him. And even though the idea of watching your husband be deposed makes you anxious – and even though you toss and turn the entire night before – you show up the morning of his deposition dressed like this, and pull on your bravest smile.

IMG_20160723_211016It means driving, not flying, together across the US to save on the precious $$$ that this lawsuit is costing you. And as it turns out, you end up doing it during a summer when the nation’s midsection is getting barbecued under a scorching heatwave.

IMG_20160722_090432It also means staying at campgrounds along the way to cut costs as well. In one case, you arrive late and then get caught in a downpour that forces you to spend the night in your car.

Jun Yu's fundraising video_I need your help 2It means spending an inordinate amount of time and energy on the challenge of collecting funds to pay your monthly legal bills. And even starting a crowdfunding campaign. It also means being shocked that your last monthly bill topped $40,000.

img_20161023_174120It means re-reading reports from all the Very Important Experts in the psychology field who support your husband. They’re a reminder that you and your husband have great leaders behind you…leaders who believe this is an important case.

IMG_20160616_143841It means sacrificing your appendix to the cause. (RIP, appendix)

anthonis_van_dyck_088It means that, even though you’re a lapsed Catholic with diverse spiritual beliefs that include Buddhist and Taoist ideas and you still haven’t been to mass in years, you start your mornings praying to St. Jude.

img_20160922_124219It means living a super-frugal existence in an apartment smaller than any hotel room you’ve ever stayed in, because you need to save money for the lawsuit and its associated costs.

img_20160916_081938_hdrIt means learning more about the legal system than you ever expected to know, and impressing family and friends at parties with your understanding of motions, depositions and declarations.

img_20160806_175325_hdrIt means being amazed by the fact that your husband’s case is getting stronger every day – and remembering how far you’ve come from when the injustice first took place.

img_20160728_174338_hdrIt means feeling emotional about the injustice from time to time, and finding solace in a good hug.

img_20160728_193332_hdrIt means discovering who your real friends and supporters are, and feeling your spirits soar whenever someone says to you, “I’m glad you’re fighting this.”

img_20161023_203435It means in the darkest moments, finding ways to remind yourself that you did it all for #JusticeForJun. Like when your friend Sally told you to never forget in your heart what this battle is all about.

img_20160818_203224It means learning to see the silver lining to everything that happened to you and Jun – and believing that this will lead the both of you to something better than you ever imagined.

What do you think?

P.S.: In case you’re new to Jun’s case, you can learn more about it here.

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29 thoughts on “What It Means to Support Your Husband’s Discrimination Lawsuit

  • October 24, 2016 at 7:26 am
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    Idaho is a very “conservative” state, and has strong connection with white-nationalist movement. If the system there is rigged against minority man like John, I would not feel any surprise. Dismissing his right for degree attainment given his academic status was absolutely discrimination, and so blunt one. Racism still plays a role.

    Stay strong against all the hostility toward Asian men since Gold Rush. Most “white people” would never know in their lives how minorities suffer from institutional disparity until some of them become significant other of a person of color.

    Welcome to the hinterland of old-school White America. And all the best for the lawsuit for justice.

    Another full-Asian man in the states.

    Reply
  • October 24, 2016 at 9:45 am
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    Phew! I did not know it was this tough. I wish you both all the best.

    Reply
  • October 24, 2016 at 2:42 pm
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    Jocelyn, you have your supporters, love and support around you. Stay strong and positive. You can do it.

    I will write to you at some point.

    Reply
  • October 24, 2016 at 4:04 pm
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    My heart goes out to you guys and justice must certainly prevail in the end. Some states may be racist, however there are national laws about this sort of discrimination.

    You’re both looking really strong and healthy though and it looks like you have a really strong support system…power to you both while fighting this injustice.

    Reply
  • October 24, 2016 at 9:12 pm
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    I don’t really understand the law system of your country since we in China often do not give a damn to any law. Here I see a good wife is all about, that guy, that is, your dear other half, is lucky enough to have such a good wife, what more can he ask for? Perhaps a child or two to extend the love and happiness.

    Reply
    • October 25, 2016 at 9:20 am
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      I agree with Lao Zhang – Jun has a wonderful wife!! Not sure I agree about kids though…a very personal choice and some people make the perfect family as a couple 🙂 🙂

      Reply
  • October 24, 2016 at 11:55 pm
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    Court cases are brutal (said the woman from a family of lawyers). They’ll wear you down, financially and emotionally.

    Reply
  • October 25, 2016 at 4:03 am
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    Hi J.E.,

    I am glad that you and Jun are fighting for your dreams. Don’t waver in face of troubled times. Stay strong and be brave.

    Reply
  • October 27, 2016 at 9:40 am
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    You are so strong Jocelyn, I truly admire your strength in standing-by Jun and helping him through this. I hope that I can be like you one day, you are an inspiration! We are all behind you; just know that you can always count on us when you need to be lifted!

    Reply
  • October 27, 2016 at 2:33 pm
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    Jocelyn, you’re so amazing!!! I’m so impressed by your resilience and courage… not just you, but also Jun, too. It takes a lot of strength and willpower to fight through a lawsuit, and I really believe you and Jun can make it. Hang in there… I really hope this pays off and justice wins! I’ll be in California rooting for you!

    Reply
  • November 2, 2016 at 12:54 am
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    Thank you for sharing this, Jocelyn. I can only imagine what you’re going through. Keep fighting, stay strong! May justice prevail!

    Reply
  • November 3, 2016 at 4:03 am
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    From a black female American.
    I’m not really surprised. This has happened. You need to keep this in the news in your state! And in the rest of America. Sorry that the so called education system still tries stuff like this.

    Reply
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  • March 31, 2017 at 9:53 am
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    Boy, Jun is a lucky man to have such a devoted wife by his side through all this! That’s why I believe a husband should give his all in support of his marriage and he should have a similar mindset even during an exclusive dating relationship. To all you guys out there: Never, ever underestimate the strength and fortitude of the women who love you. Never, ever take them for granted.

    Reply

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