Ask the Yangxifu: How to Introduce Your White Girlfriend to Your Asian Parents

Instead of my usual Q&A this Friday (nothing to do with April Fools Day, I promise!), I’m steering you over to my latest article on the Asian Man White Woman magazine. If you’re a Chinese guy who just started dating a White girl, well, this one’s for you. It’s called How to Introduce Your White Girlfriend to Your Asian Parents — here’s a snippet:

When I first started dating John, my future Chinese husband, everything seemed as perfect as our first kiss by the lake.

We could have entire conversations with just a glance. Our chemistry was so good that, for weeks, I came to work every morning, beaming from bedroom bliss. And within weeks of getting together, we had taken two romantic dates together, and planned a third trip to Beijing.

So finally, after a little over a month together, John decided to go home and tell his Asian parents all about me. His report?

“My father said I can be friends with you, but not date you.”

Gulp. Not exactly what you’d call, uh, “perfect.”

So if you have a white girlfriend or fiancee, what do you do when your Asian family gets in the way of happily ever after?

To find out, read the full article now. If you like it, share it. And thanks!

10 Replies to “Ask the Yangxifu: How to Introduce Your White Girlfriend to Your Asian Parents”

  1. I am fortunate to not have this problem. My husband and I got married in Key West and his mother and didi (younger brother) were there. I can’t say I can relate. What great advice, though. =o) Very good points.

  2. Great! Now how do I introduce my Chinese-American boyfriend from Hawaii to my white western parents living in Atlanata!

  3. Jocelyn, as usual you have great advice. i think the points you have mentioned should really work, and work well. It is always a pleasure to read your blog. Keep up the good work. If there should be a noticeable increase in the number of successful AMWW pairings, you surely have played a part.

    1. Belated thanks to all for the comments!

      @Henry Yeh, no, actually my MIL was the harder nut to crack. I think it’s just a fluke that I haven’t posted up photos with the FIL — plus, probably, that, among the easy-to-find photos on my computer (I was terrible at arranging them for a long time), the ones that seem to look better happen to be with my MIL. But I should dig a little more. Surely there are some decent photos with the FIL? Next time I have a post about the parents, I’ll try to put one out there.

  4. When I married my Chinese wife, her mother, brothers and sisters liked me fom the start. Her father on the other hand refused to even meet me because he was in the Chinese army during the Korean conflict. To him, as an American, I was THE ENEMY!. But from the day I left China till the day she arrived in Texas, she her mother and siblings made it a point of telling him how nice I was. After she came to the US, they kept it up and my wife called him regularly to let him know she was happy. Finally on our next trip to China, he agreed to meet me. As a gesture of thanks, and cosulting with the wife, I bought an antique railroad gold pocket watch as a gift. He loved the gift (after seeing them in moves he watched as a child, always wanted one) and from that moment on decided I was #1 son in law.

    My advice is, just be yourself. If you are a good person, it will come through and the Chinese family will come to accept you

  5. Very thoughtful comments. One thing though: Western does not automatically mean White.

    I am an African American woman happily married for nearly 20 years to a Hong Kong-born/ New York City-raised, Cantonese-speaking husband.

    Couples and families likes ours have our own unique, valuable and authentic experiences as we bridge the cultural divide that is East and West and Black and Yellow.

    Again, it is very disrespectful to Black people and other people-of-color to presume that westernness = whiteness.

    1. Hi EB, thank you so much for the comment — I made a mistake in how I worded this post, and I want to apologize for that, as you are correct that Western does not automatically mean white. I’ve since updated it. Really appreciate your feedback.

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