I Asked ChatGPT Why Couples of Chinese Men, Western Women Are Rare, and its Answer Underwhelmed Me

Why are couples of Chinese men and Western women so rare? This question, which I had first posed many years ago, fired up this blog, and fueled an interest that pushed me to do a deep dive to fully understand, through posts about everything from stereotypes to sex appeal.

So with the advent of ChatGPT, I wondered if the widely acclaimed AI chatbot could offer new insights and perspectives into this question. And I was largely underwhelmed by the answer:

There are several factors that may contribute to the relatively low number of couples consisting of Chinese men and Western women:

1. Cultural Differences: Cultural differences between China and Western countries can make it difficult for couples from different backgrounds to understand each other’s values and ways of life. This can create communication barriers and make it challenging for the couple to form a strong connection.
2. Stereotypes and Prejudice: Stereotypes and prejudices about each other’s cultures can also create barriers for couples from different backgrounds. For example, some Western women may have negative stereotypes about Chinese men, which can make them less likely to consider dating or marrying someone from China.
3. Language Barriers: Language barriers can also be a factor in forming relationships between people from different countries. If one or both parties are not fluent in each other’s language, it can be difficult to communicate effectively and build a strong relationship.
4. Social and Family Pressure: Social and family pressure can also play a role in relationships between people from different cultures. In some cultures, there may be social or familial expectations that individuals should marry within their own cultural group, which can make it difficult for couples from different backgrounds to form relationships.

It’s important to note that while there may be fewer couples consisting of Chinese men and Western women compared to other combinations, there are still many successful and happy relationships between people from different cultural backgrounds.

Of the three answers, only one made sense to me: stereotypes and prejudice. As I wrote before:

“Years of pernicious stereotypes have branded Asian men as emasculated, weak, asexual, and even too small in a certain department—essentially, editing them out of the most eligible bachelor pool.”

And Chinese harbor their own set of stereotypes about Western women — as the seductress or a casual lover, who could never accept a Chinese way of life. 

The other three reasons, however–cultural differences, language barriers, social and family pressure–felt a bit out of place, as if the chatbot had hastily pasted them in. After all, if these cultural differences, language barriers, and social and family pressure were truly a problem, why weren’t they hindering the number of Chinese women and Western men pairing up? I may concede that cultural differences and social/family pressure can differ between genders, but I doubt these were enough to sway the skewed coupling in reality.

And sure enough, when I asked ChatGPT why there were so many couples of Chinese women and Western men, the answer betrayed its shortcomings in understanding cross-cultural relationship dynamics:

There are several factors that may contribute to the relatively high number of couples consisting of Chinese women and Western men:

1. Cultural Differences: While cultural differences can create barriers for some couples, they can also be a factor that draws other couples together. Some Western men are attracted to Chinese women because of their unique cultural background and traditions, which can be seen as exotic and alluring.
2. Gender Imbalances: In China, there is a well-documented gender imbalance, with more men than women due to the one-child policy and cultural preference for male offspring. This can make it more difficult for Chinese men to find partners, while Western men may be seen as a more viable option for Chinese women.
3. Economic Factors: Some Chinese women may be attracted to Western men because they are perceived to have more economic stability and opportunities compared to Chinese men.
4. Language Ability: Western men who speak Chinese fluently may be more attractive to Chinese women because it can facilitate communication and understanding between the couple.

It’s important to note that while there may be many couples consisting of Chinese women and Western men, these factors do not apply to all couples and there are many successful and happy relationships between people from different cultural backgrounds.

Right, ChatGPT — so the “cultural differences” that tear some people apart will bring others together? This answer struck me as a veiled attempt to cite fetishization of Chinese women without actually using that term.

What do  “gender imbalances” have to do with this? ChatGPT, in case you haven’t noticed, a similar phenomenon exists around the world — lots of Asian women and Western men, compared to fewer Asian men and Western women. 

While I’m willing to concede the third reason (economic) might have some traction, the fourth, language ability, seemed laughable. How many times have I seen Western men, who could utter little else beyond “Ni Hao” and “Xie Xie”, with a Chinese woman at their side? Besides, plenty of Western women have mastered Chinese, which hasn’t necessarily translated into more couples.

ChatGPT offered little insight into the dynamics in Chinese/Western relationships, but it did teach me something: AI still apparently has much to learn about race, ethnicity and culture, and how it plays out in relationships and marriage.