(NOTE: For the most up-to-date list of these blogs, read my 2018 update of this list)
March is women’s history month, and just last week, March 8 was international women’s day. As we remember the women who make a difference in our world, there’s one minority voice we shouldn’t forget — the Western women who love Chinese men.
China blogs are still a man’s world, so our voices are often lost in the comments and trackbacks. But Western women who love Chinese men have a unique perspective to a woman’s experience in China — which makes their blogs even more valuable in the blogsphere. Here’s my list, in alphabetical order (according to the blog’s name).
Aimee Barnes. She’s more known for thoughtful, probing interviews with China’s up-and-coming movers and shakers — but she once loved a man from Shandong (and, I hope, hasn’t given up writing about it). I’ve come to appreciate her voice even more after reading this post about how she went against expectations (she had a learning disability) to master Mandarin and succeed in college and graduate school.
American Family. An American woman with a Chinese husband, a hapa daughter, and an adopted daughter from China, living in the US — and blogging about it since 2003. While it’s not all Chinese culture, all the time, you have to love a woman who writes about things like learning how to cook good Chinese (for her husband, of course ;-)) and guanxi conundrums.
The Downtown Diner. Melanie Gao, who lives with her Chinese husband in Beijing, has no pretensions about her — and her blog is a homey, welcoming little slice of the China blogosphere. Some of her most interesting posts are about her children’s experiences in Chinese schools (trees can’t have green trunks?). She’s also my unofficial twin in the China blogosphere (we really do look alike). Thanks for keeping it real, Melanie.
Elise in Korea. Elise is a Canadian woman married to a Chinese man — who happens to live with him in Korea. Her blog is an eclectic kimchi sampler that reflects an interest in so many things East Asia. But don’t worry — Korea hasn’t taken the passion for China out of her, since she devoted a page to China, with some helpful links on learning Mandarin.
Foreigner in the Family. Elliot, an English woman with a Chinese husband, writes about her ‘ordinary’ Chinese family — with an extraordinary sense for character. Her thoughtfully written blog feels more like a novel about Chinese women, whose portraits come to life with each paragraph, such as this recent entry on Meimei. Keep up the outstanding writing, Elliot. 😉
[Insert Suitably Snappy Title Here]. Kathmeista is a New Zealand woman living with her husband in Taiwan — with an appetite for the written word, so her blog focuses on great reads. She does, however, slide Taiwan into the stacks here and there, including this entry on a book about Taiwan. Of course, I’m so jealous that she’s got the Eslite bookstore (èª å“書店) right in her backyard. 😉
Life Behind the Wall. The only blog here written by an African-American woman with a Chinese husband. Jo Gan is one extraordinary woman, and her writing provides insight into a life rarely chronicled in China. I love how she takes on the Chinese standard of beauty. You go, Jo!
The Local Dialect. Jessica is one unique yangxifu (洋媳妇, foreign wife of a Chinese man, that is). She fell in love with and married a Chinese man who speaks no English. She also has two children, and is the primary breadwinner for her family, working as an English teacher at an international school. And, with no inlaws (her husband’s parents passed away), the couple has, until recently, had to care for the children themselves. I admire Jessica for her ability to balance work and family in China — and that she shares her experience with the world.
Looking for a Chinese Husband. One European Girl’s quest to find that Chinese leading man in her life — a journey that, as it turns out, is not so straightforward. She writes about meeting Chinese men who only want Chinese women, and even a sad one-night stand that she believed was something real. Let’s hope this blog has a happy ending!
Musing Mandarin. Marie Cardenas is a Southern California woman, living in Shanghai, with the love of her life — a Chinese man she calls Ken. While she doesn’t call attention to the uniqueness of her relationship, she offers a virtual scrapbook of observations, experiences and photos that capture her new life in Shanghai — including those small moments where something, such as using a cell phone while bicycling, might surprise you.
Plate of Wander. Ellis, you had me after this line in your About page: “she teaches college English, travels China, and eats enough food to feed two or three grown men.” You have to love a woman who is passionate about writing and travel, and never apologizes for her appetite. And while she has no Chinese beau, she’s written about the rarity of such relationships (and expressed an openness).
Shandongxifu. Ericka, who lives in Qingdao with her Shandong husband, is better known to us through her posts at the Lost Laowai blog — where she confidently reminded us that Laowai Girls Love Asian Boys. I share her passion for Jay Chou and, yes, Meteor Garden (quiet sigh). She’s just launched Shandongxifu (with, from the looks of the design, firecrackers, perhaps) and I look forward to some more explosive reading from her.
Tianjin Shannon. Shannon’s blog makes me feel red all over — wedding red, that is. She and her Hunan boyfriend just had a wedding ceremony in Hunan in February, and they’re getting ready to say “I do” in Thailand later this year. Even though I’ve long past the wedding stage, Shannon’s writing is like stepping into the bridal store in China all over again. So many of her experiences, such as whether or not to change her name, resonate with yangxifu everywhere.
Too real to be mythical. Juliet, an American woman, and David, a Chinese man, decided to start their blog to show the world that couples of Asian Men and White Women really do exist — hence the name. Their blog offers a friendly window in family, marriage and more, and, unlike the other blogs listed here, also includes David’s voice, such as in this post.
White Girl in a Chinese-American World. This is the voice for the Western women in relationships on the opposite side of the pond. She’s a blond Southerner, he’s a Chinese American, and they’re in love in America. Yet, not even this melting pot will always understand relationships like theirs, as she writes recently about misgivings from her grandmother. But she writes courageously about their love, and the cultural misunderstandings — and makes the blog a valuable read to the would-be couples in the Western hemisphere.
Wo Ai Ni. Rhiannon, an American woman who met and married her Chinese husband in the US, creates a whimsical collage of an intercultural family (see this recent trip to Florida) on her site. It’s a snapshot of daily family life — including two blonde-haired children from a previous marriage, and three young half-Chinese kids. In a way, Wo Ai Ni is the world I hope for — where having a Chinese husband, and children of different ethnic backgrounds, is a natural, everyday thing.
Do you know of other blogs by Western women who love Chinese men? I’d love to add them to this (hopefully growing) list of unique voices online.
UPDATES: Added in American Family. Added Musing Mandarin. Correction on Wo Ai Ni. Added in Too real to be mythical.
(NOTE: For the most up-to-date list of these blogs, read my 2016 update of this list)
I am married to a Chinese/Taiwanese American man. We have one daughter adopted from China and one daughter born to us. I have been blogging about our family life for the past six years. I blog less about the cultural issues now that our girls are so big, but it still comes up from time to time…especially when we visit with my mother in law (heh!).
Hi American Family,
It’s so great to find your blog! I just added you to my links, and I will update this entry shortly to add you on the list.
(I bet those cultural issues come up w/ MIL visits! 😉 )
There is one called Musing Mandarin that I believe fits your request:
http://musingmandarin.com/
Thanks for the recommendation, Impacted Wisdom Truth! I’ve added it to my sidebar links, and will do another update to this page soon.
Hey Jocelyn,
Do you by any chance have a list of blog written by Asian Women who love Western Men? It is so hard to find them.
Please add the letter s to the end of the word ‘blog’ in the comment above. LOL. It was a typo.
Thanks for the shoutout Jocelyn! In my own blogroll there are a lot of blogs by foreign women living in Japan with Japanese husbands, you might check some of them out sometime. For whatever reason, there seem to be a lot more Western women married to local men in Japan than in China, but a lot of our experiences are (shhh, don’t tell the Japan-phobic husbands) very similar.
@Priscilla, thanks for the comment! I don’t currently have such a list — but that might be worth investigating. (As an aside, while I don’t know about Asian women in general, I have to wonder if at least Chinese women are less interested in broadcasting their love with a foreign man, given the vitriol on the web about it?)
@Jessica, glad to promote your fantastic blog! And thanks for the nod on the Japan blogs by Western women w/ Japanese husbands — I’ll have to check them out. (And, if my anti-Japan husband ever asks, of course they’re “completely different experiences.” ;-)).
Hi Jocelyn, I am a Canadian-born Chinese currently going to school at University of Toronto in Canada. I have to say that this article is quite a surprise for me! Of course, I have seen both Chinese Women/Western Man and Western Woman/Chinese Man couples, although based on my experiences here in Canada, I have always thought the former combination was far more common. It makes me really happy to see a foreigner take such a positive interest in Chinese culture, with all this China bashing in the news I have a hard time convincing my western friends to do the same.
Hi Robert — thanks for the comment, and glad you enjoyed the article! The China bashing in the news can certainly cloud perceptions of China, and deter people from an interest in the culture. I’ve found, from my experience, that no country or culture is perfect — yet, every place has things of value worth understanding, if you can get past the politics.
Do you know of a Taiwanese actor named 王少伟
You should look him up….your husband looks EXACTLY like him.
I mean…EXACTLY.
Hi Jason, thanks for the comment! You are right, he does look like 王少伟 — I almost had a double take when I saw the pictures online.
I wanted to tell you about my blog as well. It is called Too Real To Be Mythical. My husband contributes occasionally as well. I haven’t yet been picked up on the blogosphere’s radar, sadly.
http://2r2bm.blogspot.com/
Dear Juliet,
I am so grateful you told me about your blog — I’ve already added it into my list, and also added a link to your blog on my blogroll (Foreign Women + Chinese Men). I’m sure my readers will be interested in what you have to write.
Thank you very much for the add!
I just wanted to say, I have ONLY ever been attracted to Asian men. I lived in and speak Thai, I have had bf’s but for the most part the “parents” of the Chinese (Cantonese men and Taiwanese are my preference–and yes I can even tell region they are from) are usually really hostile to the relationship.
I love Asian skin, hair, the facial features, culture, name it. I actually think that my mother cheated on my Dad and I am part Asian. I have black hair, and semi-Asiatic features which would explain a lot. Anyone know a good place for a girl in FL to meet a hot Asian guy that is open to a white/asian relation please let me know.
PS—me an my shih tzus are ready to move anywhere for the right guy. I can learn chinese easily (I speak a lot of languages) and I am just looking for a nice and good looking chinese guy. I am not into Japanese usually and Korean, sorry. Other Asians can apply 😉
Dear Alexis, thanks so much for the comments. Good luck with finding your dream Asian man!
Mmmgoi or Xixi depending on dialect Jocelyn. The first love of my life was half Taiwanese. I have always had this thing with Asians. It is really hard where I live, there are just not many Asians and when I lived in Asia a lot of mothers were vehemently opposed to a non-Asian woman in their son’s lives. I look quite Asian though which is strange, (like a half breed) and some mother’s, with inevitably older or not so attractive sons, were eager to fix me up with their sons. In the west a lot of Asians, older especially, will just speak to me in Chinese which I find strange because I am caucasian but as stated in an earlier post, think I have some Asian in me somewhere because I do have very Asiatic features and preferences.
Thank you for your wishes! Hopefully I will find him!
I love reading your blogs and this one was very interesting. I will be sure to visit some of these sites. Please add my blog to your list… http://www.lifebehindthewall.wordpress.com
I am also married to a Chinese man .. however.. I am African-American and living in China.. an even more rare occurance. Keep up the good work.
Hi Jo, thanks so much for reminding me — I’ve been meaning to add your site, but then life got crazy this month. I’m so sorry about that. I added you in, with a link to a post I really like. Keep up the good work!
TO Alexis:
why not move to china? 🙂
Thanks for the addition girlfriend… and as always you enlighten, encourage and impress…much love and respect..
Double Happiness to you both…..
Stephen you know what I find–and I lived in Thailand and mostly liked the Norther or more “Chinese” extracted Thai and there it is not hard to find someone, but I found in China typically “good families” (and I know this is a sweeping generalisation) will be very opposed to a white girl in the family and often Chinese men are very oblivious to over flirtation. It is almost like you need to send an invitation.
Alexis, thanks for sharing! Sounds like you had some interesting experiences in Thailand. Your generalization, admittedly, does hold true in the majority of cases (unfortunately). But I have hope. 🙂
Jocelyn, on the flirting, the guys just do not seem to suspect it. It is very strange, it is like the girls are all prepared and the men feel like if they see a foreign woman they should look in shame the other way. I personally prefer their musculature, their leaner bodies (generally) their more chiselled features, their hairlessness, generally, their tight pores, and I can go on. The IRONY is that they are NOT known to treat other Asian girls right but my experience has always been good. The Thai, The Vietnamese, Myanmarese (look very much like Chinese) all are very eager to be with a white girl, the Chinese themselves have prejudices—but I suppose we found a group of girls here without these, call us “chinophiles?” unfortunately with 1 billion it is like needles in haystacks to find a group of them.
Hi Jocelyn,
I’ve often been attracted to Chinese men here in the UK but I never thought for a nano second they’d be interested in a Westerner – purely for cultural reasons. I know very little about Chinese culture so thanks to your blog I am learning a little more.
I did find a hilarious article written by a Welsh chinese guy on a UK dating site – he said he loves women of all cultures, but he’s wary of the ones who only want to date him for free chips (he runs a chip shop!).
With best wishes
Suzy (UK)
Thanks for stopping by, Suzy — and glad you enjoy the blog! That sounds like a great article. If you can ever find it again, please post it up here and share. Sounds like a funny piece!
Hi Jocelyn,
I just discovered your post about western women/asian men’s blogs!!! Thanks for talking about my blog!
I moved to Beijing last June, and I started a new blog. I now mostly blog about cultural differences in child rearing, as I’m a new mom and I’m trying to find a happy medium between Chinese tradition and Western ways! Thank heavens my man is not traditional and my MIL is not involved at all in our family!!! 🙂
Two more blogs worth checking out:
http://juliekintaiwan.wordpress.com/ Canadian woman married to a Taiwanese man, with two lovely children.
http://lingluth2008.blogspot.com/ American woman married to a Taiwanese man, also mom to two cutties!
Hello all, Thank you a lot because you love China and Chinese men. In this concern, learning Mandarin Chinese will be helpful for all of you. Best wishes.
I’m so glad I came across this site! I’m a New Zealand woman married to a Hong Kong/New Zealand Chinese man, living in Singapore (after a short stint in Taiwan). I very rarely come across the Asian Guy/White Girl mix and so I’m so excited about reading what you have all written. Just to share one little thing – I changed my surname when I got married, so I now have a Chinese one, and I get such a kick when I see people’s reactions to me when they are expecting to meet a CHinese woman. It’s brilliant – especially at job interviews 🙂
Emily:
You will really enjoy Singapore…a tolerant and welcoming society though with very strict laws which are enforced!
Jocelyn what a sweet way to describe me and my blog – thank you!!! I’m so honored to be included on this list. We’re lucky to have these wonderful Chinese men in our lives, aren’t we?
Hugs to you, Twin Sister!
you missed this site http://www.hello-china.over-blog.com
Hi Jocelyn, your blog is an eye opener for me. I was so sure that there are no more white girls who’s interested in Asian men. I am a 30 yo asian man, Chinese descent who was born in different Asian country, who is dreaming to marry a white girl. By moving to USA, I thought my chance of marrying a white girl will be higher. I was wrong. It is a tough market for me here, I guess partly because I don’t play by local’s dating rules….. 🙁
But your blog has proven me wrong because there are white girls who are falling in love with chinese men and proud of it. I hope soon I’ll find my own princess.
Hi Jocelyn, I thought I posted before but don’t see it here. I think we know each other somehow but I can’t remember how – were you at Smallworld? Or Candle? Anyway, love your site, so nice to find a meeting of like lives and loves. I blog (somewhat irregularly) about my life with three small kids and a Chinese husband in Beijing at beijingmom.blogspot.com. Keep up the good work! Jenny
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I am a white woman married to a Chinese man, who appreciated finding this site about women in China, I am so sick of the trite and hostile comments on the Internet about Chinese men versus white men, I just put up a new website, http://canadarielle.tripod.com/men…Mrs. Wong Says: Chinese Men Are As Sexy As Western Men…! Hope others enjoy it!
I have another larger site on this and many other topics, though just wanted to get going joining this discussion….
Ellie,
Now finally another White woman thinks those sterotypes are not true! Some Chinese women are just bad. Sometimes, we have to get a mirror and take a good look at ourselves before we talk bad about our own race and other races. If you want to know more about something, you have to have friends who are from that race and you have to participate in EVERYTHING that they do in order to understand why. The more you’re involved, the more you will know that those things are not true. 2 to 3 times a night??? what an animal!!!! lol 🙂 you are very lucky :).. Yes, I’ve tried 2-3 times a night before and now I still want 2 -3 times a night. Another close Chinese friend of mine wanted 3 to 4 times a day. 🙂
I’ve known about this website for a while, and used to come by here and check now and again. I’d like to post up my story in one of my blogs, but I’m somewhat shy about exposing my personal life too much, and rather private.
My story is amazing, in my view, because it all happened when I least expected it, and thank God that I chose to listen to my gut feeling. At first, I was having doubts about dating him because of his cynical attitude. But I knew, somehow, that this attitude was just a mask resulted from some negative experiences in his past. Despite my repulsion, I decided to look past the surface and keep going for it. THANK GOD I did not give up! He turned out to be the best man in the world. He treats me so well, I never imagined I would have such a luck to meet such a wonderful man. I feel so safe and loved with him, it’s beyond description. His family also accepted me without any difficulty. And they all are also very caring with me. He is Chinese, but born and raised in Germany. His parents are from Hong Kong. I feel so blessed and, despite that he is the eldest son in the family, and I am Caucasian, his parents have been very accepting and loving with me from the start. It’s amazing how well he and I fit together. Didn’t expect this, but I found the love of my life and I feel fullfilled.
Chemistry and trust go hand in hand here. Chinese men tend to be very devoted in a trusted relationship. Why do you think most of us let our Chinese women “monitor” our bank accounts? I advise everyone who found love of your life to hold onto him tight. very hard for another men just like this to come by again.
Could you update this list? Seems many links don’t work or the blogs haven’t been updated in years. Cheers.
Hi Chris, thanks for the comment! You might have missed the link at the top of the post for my 2014 update (admittedly, it is a little small and I should probably put it at the bottom of the post). I do update the list every single year in March. Here’s the link for the 2014 update.
P.S.: After I submit this comment, I’ll add the link for the update in the bottom of this post too!
hey guys am looking for a chinese guy..is it possible i get.am a kenyan