As Jemma’s story reminded me, I’m not the only one that never expected to find love — and more — in China. I’m also not the only one who had a few friends intervene on my behalf to find a better man. 😉
When I arrived in China in 2008, I figured I would stay two years and then move on to another place. But that was before I met my Chinese boyfriend.
I dated a few men, all Chinese, and had some horror stories and some that just didn’t work out. One night, I happened to share my latest bad date with friends. The date was a nice guy, but seemed only interested in me because I was a foreigner. After hearing this, one of the friends decided to give my e-mail address to a man he met at the gym, a guy who had jokingly asked him to set him up with a foreign woman.
At first, this man and I only spoke on the Internet, until he finally got the courage to ask me out for dinner. When we met that night, I liked him straight away — maybe not tall, but definitely handsome. He was a perfect gentleman in the corny, traditional sort of way. He opened doors for me, pulled my chair out, always checked to see if I wanted more food or drink, and refused to let me pay even though he was still a student. After dinner, we went for a walk in the local park and talked for hours, until he finally walked me home and said good night.
But the next week, I heard nothing from him. I was devastated. I thought, maybe my loud Western ways scared him away. Fortunately, though, when he did eventually call, he could not apologise enough. Turns out, he had a family emergency and had to return home, which was a long way from where we lived.
The same day he returned we also met for dinner, followed by a walk in the same park. I enjoyed talking to him and he seemed to enjoy being with me too. I told him that my parents wanted me to learn martial arts so I could look after myself, so we had a little play fight and he didn’t mind that I beat him (I think he let me win because he is very strong).
After the third dinner date, after we bought some fruit and sat under the trees to talk, we had our first kiss. That was the start of our official relationship.
My boyfriend told me he likes that I am less demanding than many Chinese girls — he does not earn very much and said his last girlfriend dumped him because his family is too poor. He is very impressed that I always ask about his mother and want to do the same things for her that I do for my own mother. He also appreciates that I am learning to cook Chinese food, though I still have a lot of work to do. 😉
We are now about to celebrate our second year together and hope to get married soon. Needless to say, I will be staying in China a little longer than I first planned.
Jemma imagined marrying a handsome Asian man after seeing an Andy Lau film when she was 16, and is thrilled her dreams will finally come true.
How did you meet? Why do you love him/her (or Chinese men/Western women)? How two different people “complete each other” in unexpected ways? We’re looking for a few good stories from Chinese men and Western women in love to share on Fridays. Submit your original story or a published blog post today.