Chapter 80: The Foreign Foreigners

Bar street with a neon light-up "bar" sign
When you’re abroad, your brethren foreigners can sometimes be just as foreign to you as the locals, just as John and I discovered one night while dining on a bar street.

One Saturday in Shanghai, John and I eschewed our usual date-night standby — the Tianran Vegetarian restaurant — for a Mexican joint my coworker recommended. The place hovered over a bar street in Shanghai that I’d heard of — from heavy ads in all the foreigner mags in Shanghai — but never visited. I maybe had a beer or glass of wine once a month, and couldn’t even remember the last time I’d been in a bar. Still, in a country where avocados were more foreign than I was, I missed Mexican food desperately — desperate enough to go to a neighborhood I’d never gone to before.

With all of the bar ads for this street — and all of those “happy hour” promos — I expected the patrons and music to be overflowing as much as the alcohol. But instead, I could barely hear the music, and saw only a handful of patrons here and there lurking in the shadows, as if this was the Prohibition era and no one wanted to be caught. And even stranger, the restaurant, perched on the second floor, had the same lascivious glow of a red-light district brothel in Amsterdam. Was this really the Mexican food dinner my friend, a girl at that, had recommended? Continue reading “Chapter 80: The Foreign Foreigners”

Chapter 79: Battling Roaches and Rats

Dark cockroach
In our old Shanghai town house, John and I faced a double infestation -- cockroaches and rats -- despite the popular wisdom that you can't have both together.

In China, I’ve heard people say you might have rats or cockroaches in your apartment, but never both.

If only they’d lived where I did. That creaky old wooden Shanghai townhouse — in the same 1920s style as the surrounding neighborhood — oozed a lot more than just character after we moved in.

John and I returned home one balmy evening and turned the lights on to find a black spot on the ceiling that moved. And just as I shrieked in disgust, it then began to fly, darting around the ceiling with a defiant buzz, as if to say “Go ahead, just try and kill me. I dare you.” Not even John’s whacks to the ceiling with a broom did any good, as the cockroach scrambled — and flew — away from our reach. We looked at each other with a tired grimace, and almost didn’t even need to say what was on our minds — yet another cockroach infestation. Continue reading “Chapter 79: Battling Roaches and Rats”

Ask the Yangxifu: Love and Location Dilemma With a Chinese Man

A European science graduate student loves a Chinese man, but doesn't love the thought of sacrificing her career to live with him in China. Can they overcome location to be together?

LoveDilemma asks:

I’m a 22 years old girl from europe and currently finishing a master’s degree in biology. Everything was clear in my life until last year, when I meet a chinese exchange student in my university. Our friendship evolved into something so deep that we become boyfriend and girlfriend. But he had to went back to China 8 months ago to finish his bachelor there. We simply could not give up of our relationship and we keep in touch, but now we have a dilemma…He wish he could move to my country but he can’t find a job here. I’m finishing my degree and I also can’t see any job prospects for me in China as well…Even if I move there to live with him, my future seems dark. I wouldn’t even consider the possibility to move to China if my love wasn’t so deep…I’d be completely dependent on him in a foreign country with strict immigration laws… I’m not even a native english speaker nor have any teaching degree in languages or teaching experience, can’t speak mandarin fluently… so my scientific degree seems worthless there. Unless I find a stable job and income in China (unrealistic), I think I won’t be welcome there or get a stable residence permit. How many foreign women had married a chinese national under these conditions? My head tells me it’s not wise but my heart……So we will have to break up because he’s chinese and I’m a foreign girl? I still can’t simply accept this and move on… Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: Love and Location Dilemma With a Chinese Man”