Ask the Yangxifu: Western Woman Wants Baby, But Maybe Not Marriage, in China

(photo by Christopher Lance via

Marie asks:

I am a foreign woman in my early 40s working here in China. I met this 30 year old Chinese guy online, we became friends coz’ he speaks good english and quite smart, we dated twice and we have constant communication for more than 3 months now. ( We live in nearby China provinces)

Honestly, I was not attracted when I first saw him but I still like him enough to be willing to know him better.

Problem #1: He seems in a rush to ask me to be his gf while I’m telling him, hey, I need time. ( When asked why he’s in a rush, aside from the standard because I love you, etc..there is pressure on his side to have his own family.) I asked him before, what if I can no longer bear him a child ( my biological clock is ticking away…), his answer was: as long as we were together.

Problem #2: He is not financially capable of having a family ( he honestly told me he is a poor man). This makes me think, is he after my money? please don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging, its just a natural reaction.

As far as I’m concerned, this guy is serious, he’s been asking me to visit his hometown as he’d already mentioned about me to his mom.

I am already in my early 40s and desperately wants to have a child BUT I cannot just “throw cautions to the wind” and be his girlfriend just for the sake of having a chance to have a baby? Now, the guy seems want to give up because I’ve been rejecting him quite a number of times.

Now, I’m thinking am I that desperate? really need of your advice. Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: Western Woman Wants Baby, But Maybe Not Marriage, in China”