Anonymous asks:
My Chinese boyfriend who I started dating several months ago sometimes asks me when the last time I contacted my parents was. I usually tell him I called them a month or two ago and he scolds me for not contacting them more often.
The reason for my sporadic contact is that my parents were physically and emotionally abusive to me and to each other when I was growing up. I keep infrequent contact with them to protect my mental health and my experiences still haunt me to this day.
Although I’ve mentioned that my relationship with my parents is difficult, I have never fully explained what happened to him. When I’ve said our relationship is rough, he has said that he’s sure it’s just a misunderstanding. I am concerned he will think what my parents did was just standard parental punishment, since his own parents beat him heavily with belts when he was growing up. I worry he will think I am over-sensitive, ungrateful and unfilial for no reason.
How can I explain what happened and how severely it impacted my life to him in a way that he will understand? What can I say to help him to see why I would think parents do not deserve unwavering fealty regardless of their actions? Continue reading “Ask the Yangxifu: My Boyfriend Doesn’t Understand My Past Child Abuse”