What dating apps or websites should I use? That’s the question a young Chinese man, who was looking to meet women from Western countries, posed to me recently.
But it’s also worth asking, are dating apps the best way for Chinese and foreigners to find love together?
Before we get to that, however, let’s consider what dating apps you might want to use.
Tinder remains one of the most popular options globally, so if you’re someone Chinese looking to meet a non-Chinese woman, then you should consider it, along with a few other possibilities:
If you’re looking for the best dating app to use worldwide, Tinder is currently probably your best bet. Coffee Meets Bagel and Bumble seem to be on the rise as well, but in terms of sheer volume, Tinder, PoF[Plenty of Fish], Match and Badoo seem like the biggest players in the current dating app game.
Disclaimer time – I’ve never used any of these apps, as I’m happily married! But you can give them a try. Just make sure you have a VPN in China, as some apps, notably Tinder, are blocked. (Note: if you need a VPN, one option is Vypr VPN – I’m an affiliate, so your purchase helps support this site.)
For non-Chinese individuals looking to meet someone Chinese, you should definitely give Tantan and Momo, the Chinese dating apps, a go, as well as WeChat.
Yet, should you depend on dating apps to deliver that Mr. or Ms. Right? It depends.
Here’s what Ms. Wai of WWAM BAM had to say about dating apps from her experience in China:
Last time I advised girls to try dating apps to meet guys, but that won’t work well the other way around. Few foreign women are on the dating apps and the ones that are are overwhelmed with requests (I had 24,000 “likes” on tantan before I turned it off.) If you really want to use an app, get a VPN, a Facebook account and try Tinder. But that will still be a challenge.
In other words, foreign women in China may have an easier time finding love through dating apps than Chinese men.
I should also note that Asian men in Western countries tend to have a harder time finding love online as well, though some have found success despite the odds.
Nevertheless, Ms. Wai recommends meeting people face to face in China, suggesting:
There must be neighborhoods, or cafes, foreigners hang out at. Or join some activities where foreigners are sure to be at like Toastmasters, English Corner at the university, or Hash House Harriers. Check online for where and when those groups meet. If you join international activities you’ll get to do something fun and have a chance to meet a lot of people, including women.
It’s definitely NOT fair that Chinese men might have to “pound the pavement” a bit more to find love. (Maybe you can keep in mind that saying in Chinese: 好事多磨 (hǎoshìduōmó), or good things never come easy.)
Then again, as Ms. Wai notes, even the foreign ladies need a little chutzpah:
I know, it’s typically the guy that makes the first move, but in China, you’ll need to be a bit brave in making your intentions clear. Even if you are over-the-top flirting you might lose a little self-confidence because you feel like it’s not being reciprocated. Most of the time the guy seriously has no idea. They think you, a special butterfly, would never like just a “normal” guy like them, so they don’t pick up any hints you’re giving them. The dating world in China isn’t a good place for subtlety. Use your courage!
What’s your take? What dating apps would you recommend, and should people use them to find love?
P.S.: If you’re looking for more ideas on dating apps, read this guest post Single and Abroad? Here’s What You Need to Know About Dating Apps in China.