Interview with Alex Tizon on His Memoir “Big Little Man: In Search of My Asian Self”

If this blog was a course and you were one of my students, there’s one book that would be at the top of your assigned reading list: Big Little Man by Alex Tizon.

Big Little Man: In Search of My Asian Self

Subtitled “In Search of My Asian Self”, Alex Tizon’s new memoir deftly covers many of the popular topics I’ve written about on this blog. Yellow fever? Check. The challenges of Asian men in the dating world? Check. Hollywood’s harmful stereotypical portrayals of Asian men? Check. The myth that Asian men have small penises? Check. Discrimination against Asians (especially Asian men)? Check. Asian male role models that make us proud? Check. Big Little Man considers just about everything about Asian masculinity in the West in one fantastic book, which is one of the reasons I adore it.

But what I love most about Big Little Man is how Tizon tells the story. He’s painfully honest about his own struggles with things such as identity and feeling inferior in an America that has traditionally marginalized Asian men. He also keeps you turning the pages with his superlative writing and storytelling skills, which is where his journalist credentials especially shine through (Tizon received a Pulitzer Prize for his work in 1997).

Ultimately, this is a memoir I’ll cherish for years – and chances are, you will too. You must read Big Little Man. And if you’re like me, you’ll want to peruse its compelling pages again and again.

I’m thrilled to introduce you to Big Little Man and Alex Tizon through this interview.

Alex Tizon
Alex Tizon

During his 20 years as a journalist, Tizon worked first for the Seattle Times and then the Los Angeles Times. A graduate of the University of Oregon and Stanford, he now teaches journalism at the University of Oregon. You can learn more about him and his writing at

In this interview with Alex Tizon, I asked him all about Big Little Man – from what it was like writing about yellow fever and his own insecurities about penis size, to what he thinks it’s going to take for Asian men to be seen as desirable romantic partners.


You offer one of the most devastating critiques of Western men with yellow fever seeking Asian women that I’ve ever read. While you acknowledge at the end of the book that you’re now more accepting of these relationships, for a time this phenomenon actually angered you. How did it feel to revisit your past feelings on this issue?

It didn’t feel very good. It felt terrible, actually. And the feeling wasn’t limited to just this phenomenon. The writing process itself is painful to me, and when you combine it with the probing and remembering that were required to tell the story, the whole enterprise at times seemed too much to bear. Remembering the sense of exile that I felt as a young man actually recreated the feeling of exile. Remembering the indignation I felt upon seeing rich old white men buying the affections of impoverished 15-year-old prostitutes in the Philippines filled me once again with anger and resentment, and I walked around that way. It put me in a snarly mood. I wasn’t fit to be around people. I withdrew and took a lot of naps. I really hope my next book won’t be such a torture.

In your memoir, you courageously confront the pernicious “small penis” stereotype of Asian men in part by sharing your own very personal and intimate experiences. When I was reading this section of your book, I almost often felt as if I was sneaking a peek at your diary! What was it like writing so honestly about something most men would never dare to discuss?

People are surprised to hear that it wasn’t that difficult to do, really. There were sections of the book that were much harder to conceptualize and write about. If I were thirty years younger, I might not have been able to write about this topic because of adolescent ego and vanity that are still so powerful at that age. But I’m in my 50s, with a respectable record of romances, and am happily married. I’ve sufficiently proven myself, at least in my own mind. My insecurities have moved on to other areas.

The challenge in writing the penis chapter was to do it in a way that elevated the discussion, at least a little, from the junior high locker room level to something that addressed the symbolism of the subject. I don’t know if I succeeded. My wife thought the chapter was extraneous and a little puerile. In my defense, I was more interested in exploring what the penis represents in the various mythologies about race. It would be incomplete to talk about the Asian male experience without addressing the idea of his mythically small penis, just as it would be incomplete to talk about the black male experience without addressing his mythically large one. These myths exert social force. Both myths are hollow, of course. “Asian” covers too many people over too large a swath of geography, as does “black” or “African.” The riotous diversity in those swaths! When you make simplistic generalizations about such immense sections of humanity, you’re bound to be wrong half the time. Nevertheless, the myths endure.

You devote an entire chapter to exploring Asian men in American TV and the movies, from the embarrassing stereotypes to “yellowface”. It’s one of the most comprehensive takes on this subject that I’ve encountered. How do you feel about the state of the Asian man in American movies and TV for this year?

There are promising signs. ABC will have two primetime comedies this fall starring Asian leads, including one, Selfie, in which actor John Cho plays a lead role, and some predict a romantic lead role. We’ll have to wait and see if that pans out. There’s Steven Yeung on The Walking Dead, and Daniel Dae Kim in Hawaii Five-O; both of those are supporting roles but good ones.

Cultural habits are hard to break, though. One show on TBS, 2 Broke Girls, that was called by the New Yorker as “so racist it’s baffling,” features an Asian male character straight out of KKK central casting: a diminutive, sexless, bumbling, language-challenged restaurant owner who is a constant butt of jokes, and he takes it like a true spineless loser. He’s the 2014 version of Lloyd Lee on Entourage, and Hop Sing on Bonanza. White America needs at least one per generation to remind itself that, oh yeah, this is what we think of Asian men. Chop Chop!

A few weeks ago, I watched a movie called Edge of Tomorrow in which the lead character was played by Tom Cruise. I like Tom Cruise. But the movie was based on a Japanese graphic novel, written by a Japanese author, in which the lead character is Japanese. There’s another movie coming out soon – same situation, based on a novel out of Japan, but the lead role was given to blonde, green-eyed Garrett Hedlund, who I’m sure is a terrific actor. When Hollywood starts casting Asian men in roles originally conceived as Asian men by writers who are also Asian men, then I’ll know we’re making real progress.

Regarding your romantic life as a young man in college, you wrote, “My sense was female eyes did not see me…I was undesirable.” The three distinguished young Asian men you profile in your book, who you single out as examples of progress, also admit to challenges of dating at universities where most women are white. What do you think it’s going to take for Asian men to be seen as desirable partners?

Time. And a re-positioning of the world order, which is happening as we speak. Desirability in men is so often tied to power. As Asian nations and diasporas, and Asian Americans, both male and female, continue to accrue power – economic, social, political, corporeal – the more appealing they’ll become, and the more influence they’ll have in affecting ideals of beauty and desirability, which will be redrawn in their likeness. It’s a matter of time. Of course I’m talking about historical time: decades and generations rather than weeks and months.

While your entire book is an incredibly fascinating portrait of Asian manhood, I especially enjoyed your chapter on the Chinese concept of Wen Wu (文武) as it relates to masculinity: “For the past two thousand years in China, you could not be merely a tough guy to be considered an ideal man. You also had to be scholarly, poetic, and wise. The manliest of men were philosopher-warriors, and more philosopher than warrior. A cultivated mind was more highly esteemed than big biceps or deft swordsmanship.” How did it feel to discover this tradition of masculinity, and that it had such a long history?

It really put in place a missing piece of the puzzle for me. But it was more a sense of re-discovering it rather than discovering it. Because I grew up with it in my family, only I didn’t realize it at the time. We didn’t have the language for it, nor sufficient knowledge of our own history. But when I realized that the dynamics of our family, specifically the ones that shaped my father and brothers, were part of an old tradition of masculinity (I like the way you put that: a tradition of masculinity) that went back to the ancient Chinese, whose teachings influenced the whole continent, it made sense of things I’d been trying to figure out. It also liberated me in a very real way. I was freed to be the man that I was raised to be.

You write briefly about your first marriage to a white woman, which ended in divorce. You stated, “I don’t believe our ethnic and racial backgrounds played a huge role in our breaking apart, but they may have played a role.” How much do you think ethnic and racial backgrounds matter in relationships?

I have to believe that it will matter in different ways and in different intensities for different couples. I can really only speak to my own experience, and I’m more and more believing that I underestimated the influence, on a subconscious, molecular level, of our families or, as I put it in the book, our clans. I think the Emerson quote I use in the book, that we’re each a quotation from all our ancestors, is true. The wider the gulf between our ancestors, the greater the potential for disconnect in present-day relationships.

But I also know of a few interracial and interethnic marriages that are as solid as any I’ve encountered. They make it work. They do the impossible work of bridging impossibly wide gulfs. And let’s face it, the gulf between men and women everywhere and in all times can seem impossibly wide. But these couples seem to have what it takes for any couple of any background to last a long time: humility, deep friendship, an ability to create a spark now and then in some area of life. A little luck doesn’t hurt either.

You write about initially feeling uncomfortable with being lumped together with all the different ethnic groups from Asia under one label (“Oriental” when you were growing up, and “Asian” today), as if Japanese and Filipino is “the same thing”. At the end of your book, you state, “For the time being, and until we collectively move on to more enlightened ways of identifying ourselves, I guess I am an Asian guy.” What do you think would be a more enlightened way to identify ourselves?

Almost anything other than “Asian” or “Black” or “White” would be more enlightened. Nationality or ethnicity or geographic location would be an improvement. Perhaps the more specific the better. I am a fisherman from the Pacific Northwest of the North American continent. When I traveled to my mother’s home province in the Philippines in the early 1990s, I was enchanted to meet people who identified themselves, not as Filipinos or even as Tarlacenos (from Tarlac Province), but as people of such-and-such mountain or such-and-such river. They harkened from a very specific place, and identified themselves accordingly.

I’m watching the HBO series Game of Thrones, which is roughly based on medieval Europe, and I love the way the characters identify themselves with these very long, compound sentences: I am Alexander of House Tizon, Son of the First Men, Subject of the Seven Gods of Hodor, Squire for the Protector of the Realm, Native of the Andals and Ally of the Cebuano Fishers of the Black Sea, etc. I mean, it gets a little long-winded but it’s so eloquent and beautiful and rich, and so multidimensional. Wouldn’t it be great if we did the same in identifying ourselves. It might require the creation of a new language and a new tradition. Might it actually enrich our experience? Because what we name ourselves, I believe, profoundly affects how we see ourselves as individuals, and in turn how we conduct our lives. “I’m Black” or “I’m White or “I’m Asian” seems to open the door to such a limited reality – small and ridiculously vague at the same time.

Among some Indian tribes in New Mexico, there are over a hundred words for sunlight. There’s a word for the light that peeks over a hill in the morning. There’s a word for the light as it moves behind a particular kind of cloud. There’s a word for the sun just as it disappears below the horizon, and so on. You have to believe that their experience of the sun had more dimensions to it, was richer, and more poetic and precise. If we can figure out how to identify ourselves in ways as textured and layered and nuanced, we’ll have done a kindness and maybe come closer to the enlightened approach I hint at in the book.


A huge thank you to Alex Tizon for enlightening us all about Big Little Man through this interview! For more information about Tizon and his writing, you can visit his website (where you can also find links to him on social media sites). You can purchase Big Little Man at all major online retailers including

26 Replies to “Interview with Alex Tizon on His Memoir “Big Little Man: In Search of My Asian Self””

  1. My two favorite parts of this interview are the discussion of the philosopher-warrior and Alex’s answer about a more enlightened way to identify himself.

    Regarding the philosopher-warrior: As a woman, I find it disappointing when a man considers that his masculinity is dependent on only the warrior side. I respect a man who is both strong AND wise.

    Regarding how to identify oneself: How sad and simplistic it is for any of us to be identified by one small characteristic! It may be somewhat better to be known as a Filipino-American rather than simply an Asian. But Alex and all of us are so much more than our race. I liked the long compound sentence he used to describe himself. If only we would all take the time to learn that much about each other.

    1. Thanks Nicki! I totally agree — it is incredibly disappointing to see a man who thinks his warrior side is the only dimension to masculinity. And indeed, we are far more than a simplistic term like “Asian” or “White” — I adored how Alex described himself!

  2. My Korean ex often complained that people thought him as Chinese when in fact he’s from Korea. (At this point I’m surprised he was with me because when we first met I thought he was Chinese…)

    To also be honest, if I’m with an Asian man, they constantly ask me about the small penis myth which becomes annoying. I tell them I don’t believe it, and that for me endurance was far more important. (Not meaning to turn this discussion into a small penis myth.)

    I also never liked the whole Western idea of tough male without emotion. (I do admit openly that the best memories of my dad is when he’s with dachshund and he’s happy.) I do hope that warrior-philosopher idea catches on more instead of disappearing.

  3. I honestly believe that the kind of discrimination heaped on Asian men in the west constitute a new kind of underhanded, subversive genocide. It’s the most subversive ever. The sneakiest and the one that will take the longest to notice because of its subversive nature. It’s a slow genocide that seeks to destroy a group by destroying any self esteem and sense of self worth first then the group.

  4. Hollywood Whitewashing on Asians based on real live

    (1) 21
    Jim Sturgess, the white guy, played the guy who exploited Las Vegas with his improved method of card counting; a scene where he mentally calculated the price on the spot for the customer asking the price after sale tax, discount, bla bla bla, leaving the customer mouth agape literally with his incredible mathematical skills.

    The real guy in real life –> Jeff Ma

    If you think “Well, it’s Hollywood, nobody actually cares”, I’d say how about Hollywood shooting a film based on Howard Hughes aviator real life and cast “Jackie Chan” as Howard Hughes? if nobody really cares.

    (2) Extraordinary Measure
    Harrison Ford, the white guy, who miraculously developed a cure for Pompe disease. Without giving in to the monetary pressure, he persistently pursued his dream of finding a cure, sometimes clashing with the financing authority, being impatient with his lab colleagues procrastination, ultimately leading the audience to believe that how a White guy can achieve something so unbelievable and something so incredible.

    The real guy in real life –> Yuan-Tsong Chen

    Just imagine Thomas Edison toying with his whole life on something we should be thankful for coming years for “lights bulb” and Hollywood makes a film, casting “Chow Yun-fat” as Mr. Edison?

    Hollywood whitewashing on Asians based on fictions, novels characters

    (3) Dragon Balls
    The guy who can spit fire, with those thick spiky hairs, whom we Asians hold as “Superman” in our childhood, suddenly become a White guy.
    –> Imagine Superman was cast with an Asian guy, and Lois will be Ms. white girl.

    (4) 47 Ronin
    47 Samurai known as Ronin, suddenly became half Asian guy whom most of the Americans find it hard to identify which ethnicity Keanu Reeve is actually.

    (5) Hunger Games
    Battle Royale copycat, the whole story is based on survival instincts of each and individual who are isolated from the normal society. You can’t even trust your loved one because the game only allows one person to survive.

    (6) Inception
    Oh Leonardo, what a magnificent stroke of skills and storytelling by Chris Nolan on how one can control the other person mind through dream when you’re asleep. Well, “Paprika” is a Japanese animated film, story largely based on hypnotizing someone through their dreams. Chris Nolan openly admitted he got his idea from Paprika.

    Don’t get me started on how screwed up the Hollywood is.

    Every scene you’d see Black doctors, scientists, engineers, authorities, etc etc etc. In real life? Come to America. You see NONE. They pamper Blacks so that they won’t revolt. In fact, most of those high paying jobs, you’d see more Asians in real life. Professors, scientists, engineers, name one, and you’d see Asians.

    In Hollywood America, you’re bound to see more Asian guys portrayed in emasculated, nerdy, babbling MORE OFTEN than what the US symbols represents –> A Bald Eagle.

    1. Don’t be so damn ungrateful. Asian-Americans as a whole have benefited greatly from the battles fought for civil rights by African Americans.

      The reason there are more African-Americans in Hollywood is because there are more quality actors, scriptwriters and directors.

      Do you think they get fair breaks? Spike Lee, only last year went out publicly how he still had to fund his own films because Hollywood aren’t interested in funding him, and he is a world famous director.

      Hollywood is massively prejudiced against Asian-Americans, this has been proven with the casting of Emma Stone in Aloha. It is wrong that this is still happening in the 21st century.

      But the same happens with Hispanics (Gang bangers and creepy lotharios) Native Americans and Native Hawaiians. What about them? Or are you only bothered about lobbying for your own group.

      And that is the problem, if you won’t go out to bat for others, sure as hell no-one will go out and bat for you, except African-Americans did and you should show a bit of damn gratitude.

      1. Let’s be realistic. African Americans have never been pro-active for other minority. That’s the fact. Either you like it or not, I have no damn gratitude. That’s the bottom line.

        When the last time SAG went with Diversity, so much beautiful, there’s no Asian Americans at all. When they talk about Diversity, they only consider having “Blacks” in the group.

        When Blacks said Black Lives Matter, they only go for “Black Lives”, no other Lives matter.

        When I said Hollywood Whitewash, I only meant to say “White Washing”, not “Diversity” per se.

        I’m fine with White people acting their own roles, and be an actor or actress. But Blacks in fact are greedy when it comes to casting choice. They’re not fine with having only White actors. They demand every movie need at least One Black cast, calls for diversity. Not a single Asian/Hispanic/Latino cast, but just a Black presence in every movie.

        Has Spike Lee ever cast an Asian American in his movie?

        When you asked if I only lobby for my own group, do me a favor, and read my comment thoughtfully.

        I lobby for Fair and Justice. I did not, and won’t lobby for “Diversity” every time I got screwed. If Hollywood cast a White guy in Iron Man, I’m fine with that. If Hollywood cast a Black guy in MLK documentary, I’m fine with that.

        What I find it ridiculous is, if Hollywood starts casting a White guy in Mao Zedong documentary, that’s a utter falsification of historical event.

        All the movies I listed above had to do with those falsification. For that, I don’t have a damn gratitude towards Blacks for that matter. For that falsification, Neither Blacks or Hispanic groups have stepped forward to ask for Fair and Justice from Hollywood.

        Did you?

        1. Did Asian Americans benefit from the civil rights movement?

          Yes or no?

          I think the answer is yes, but who were missing from the civil rights movement were of course, Asian Americans, there were blacks, whites, Jews, Hispanics – you can name the famous people of that movement from those ethnic groups, and now, you want the white man to represent you in Hollywood because you are like the snivelling, weedy, weak, wimp in the playground, you want others to do the bidding and the fighting, just like you let African Americans fight and win you some civil rights.

          The only people who can break down the door for Asian Americans in Hollywood are Asian Americans. The biggest Hollywood film starring Asian Americans was written by two white men. Keep letting white men write your stories, then don’t complain when you don’t like the result.

          Has Spike Lee ever cast Asian Americans in his films? Go and watch them again, but check out ‘Do The Right Thing’ for a very sympathetic portrayl of Asian Americans living in black communities.

          What you seem to be doing is getting a load of situations and trying to tie them up, is Will Smith lobbying for black actors? He is, in this particular case, but this has nothing to do with ‘civil rights’ rather than his own self advancement. Hollywood has done wrong to Asian Americans, that I already said in my original post. But your enemy is not the African American, some are out for themselves, do you think Will Smith cares about diversity or racism? No. Is that the same for all African-Americans, and the answer to that is also no.

          Your enemy are the rich and powerful of all colours, but you as an Asian American, should be on your knees to African Americans because up until 1965, they and other brave people of colour were fighting your battles, not many – if any – Asian Americans were on the march to Selma (for example).

          I’ll ask you this, did your parents or grandparents fight for their civil rights?

          If they were born in Asia, you have black people for the change in law in 1965 where your family were able to emigrate to the States, black people and the civil rights movement made that possible, you are welcome

          1. This is the most hilarious comment I’ve read in a while.

            Every Asian American achievement, we owe something to Black people.

            Every Asian American immigration, we owe something to Blacks. We’re not even talking about Civil Rights movement here. But you intentionally brought up.

            Ok here we go.

            Go and study “Yuri Kochiyama” before you spew out any gratitude AA owe to Blacks.

            By the way, we’re not talking about Civil Rights movement here.

            I didn’t say I like Whites to represent AA. I said Hollywood whitewashed AA achievement. Are your brain cells dead?

            Besides, CEA was introduced in 1882 and finally repealed in 1943.

            1965? Are you in the rabbit hole? So we owe gratitude to Blacks. Jezus F Christ. Chinese immigration and Black civil rights movement has nothing in common.

            That’s why I heard people (including Whites) whisper in your back that “Blacks think everyone on this planet owe something to them.”

            Go and watch in youtube.

            By the way, I’m not hating on Blacks. I’m just saying, you think every AA owe some kind of gratitude to Blacks, which is utterly ridiculous.


            I’m not coming back again.

        2. No, that would be like saying that every black achievement in America, a debt is owed to the people who freed them. What I am saying is simple, Asian Americans owe a debt of gratitude to the civil rights movement for fighting for social justice on their behalf.

          Thank you for name check of Yuchi Konchiyama – interesting to read about her. There weren’t many more was there? As for Hollywood, they just ignore Asian American achievements – ignoring the 555 battalion is a semi-criminal act but they will continue to do this until we get more Asian American writers, directors and scriptwriters.

          Yes, 1965! Look up the 1965 immigration and nationality act, all down to the civil rights movement which allowed millions of Asians the opportunity to make their lives better by going to America. Who do you think forced that issue?

          You want to stop listening to stupid people whispering to you. It doesn’t make it true. What you need to do is read up on the civil rights movement and what benefits it brought for Asian Americans, black people did that for you, be grateful.

      2. First of all let’s be civil here Bejarano. (No pun intended.) The only demographic that Hollywood is fair to is white men. Everyone else got shafted into negative stereotypes, or else became invisible. (Why don’t I ever see movies that focus on Judaism from a woman’s point of view? Why aren’t there movies about growing up as an immigrant from another country? Why are there barely any brunette actresses that have positive and uplifting roles instead of demon ones? Why as a child did I have to suffer from low self esteem and hatred of myself due to Hollywood?)

        Asian-Americans do have a lot of talent when it comes to writing, acting, directing and so forth. Every group has writers and directors that can act as voices for minorities, but its lack of roles and interest in Asian-American issues that are with holding them back. In order to give a cinematic voice to one’s story, you need lots and lots of money as well as support from those in power to make sure the movie succeeds. Sad but true.

        And if we’re talking about the civil rights, I can say that if it weren’t for Jewish or other white people that sacrificed their lives for the cause, African Americans would never have gotten civil rights in the first place. In history, Asian-Americans went through civil rights way before African-Americans have, and this is something that’s not studied.

        I have nothing against African American men and women, but simply speaking, I’m tired of other minority groups not being included when the word diversity enters into vocabulary. Let’s be honest, most people think diversity equals being African-American. Being Asian, Latino, Native American,biracial, etc. doesn’t enter into their minds. Heck, ethnic minority groups don’t enter into people’s minds either when speaking of the word diversity. Instead of using attention that African Americans gain from those in power for others and being helpful, they don’t do that; they don’t speak out against injustices of other groups. Have any African Americans spoken out against what is going in Europe with the Jews right now? Have any African Americans protested of how Asian-American men and women get cast into movies as either an asexual male or a lustful China doll? Have any African Americans decided to film the immigrant struggle of Latinos coming over here illegally?

        Also as well, why have I never heard of BET award Caucasians, Latinos, Native Americans or even Asian Americans for capturing the African-American experience, yet there is demand that SAG include more “diverse” (African-American) stars and movies? And why aren’t African Americans pointing out that more races should be included in SAG?

        Jocelyn, if my comment is offensive or violates your rules, please take it down.

  5. I liked the concept of “Yellow Fever” which I have no shame in admitting that I have. I cannot believe that Alex Tizaon was so troubled by seeing many white men with young Asian girls. If he is troubled by seeing many old white men paying for the affection of the teenage girl who were 15-years old, then I agree that it is disgusting as they are exploiting children and engaging in prostitution. But if a white man whether elderly or young is capable of using his beauty, skills, and sexual prowess to get the younger (not teenage or child) Asian girl, I do not think that he should be condemned for doing so. After all, Asian boys are free to try to pickup on white girls. So, don’t forget that it is a two way street also.

    I find it strange that if an elderly white man is seen with a young pretty Asian girl, he is criticized. But yet if an elderly Chinese man is seen with a young pretty white girl, no one gives a “f _ _ _.” He might even be praised for his Asian prowess but never condemned. Don’t you think that the world is now engaging in some form of reverse discrimination?

  6. I love this interview and I love Alex Tizon’s book. I agree that it should be required reading for your blog viewers (!), but would also like to see it added to high school English curricula. I think college would be too late.

  7. I’m loving the book reviews. I just started reading Caroline Ng’s novel and I’m really enjoying it. I want to read this one next.

    I agree with what Nicki said about masculinity and also identity. It’s too bad most of us have such a narrow view of these concepts.

    I think some of the other comments here are very interesting. I agree with Manny that “Yellow Fever” doesn’t bother me so much. As long as both parties are consenting in the relationship, that’s fine. What I don’t like is when white men bash on white women. And I do wish Asian men weren’t overlooked by white/black/Latino women. They can make great partners.

    Rdm’s comments about Hollywood whitewashing are interesting. I think this might start to change as Asian actors become more famous. Part of the problem is picking a lead that is well-known and adored, which, sadly is usually a white or perhaps a black guy.

  8. What do you think would be said if Tizon had used old men hiring rent boys as an example of gay relationships, he would be crucified, and rightly so.

    If his epitome example of a mixed race relationship has to involve prostitution and paedophilia then shame on him.

  9. I am currently reading “Big Little Man,” and writing down my thoughts and impressions about the late Alex Tizon and he relates to me as we are both of Philippine-descent and that we both arrived and lived in America starting at a young age. Yet, I find so much to dislike about him, having paid close attention to details regarding his life experiences, attitudes, and especially how he viewed himself within the context of our shared cultural/ethnic background….Perhaps not surprisingly, the issues I raise receive scant attention based on the book reviews that I have read.

  10. I read Alex’s book when I became aware of it thru his very moving last article in the Atlantic Magazine, “My Family’s Slave”.

    His book is probably the best book on the subject of Asian male experience growing up in the West.

    I’ve been researching on this topic since growing up, feeling angry, marginalized from stereotyping, too.

    One of the costs of this is, which I haven’t seen a lot of research in is Asian sisters who tell their brothers they won’t date Asian Men using the stereotyping that AM face as justification and the family estrangement that follows, other than Karen Pyke’s research, an academic researcher. Her work is on Google.

    I recently came across this documentary, an Korean male adoptee & his battle with his identity growing up who later became a model.

    1. Phil, thank you very much for your comment. I concur with your thoughts about Alex’s book — and I mourn the passing of him, as his voice will be sorely missed in the world.

      That is interesting what you describe about sisters — I had not heard that before; will look up Karen Pyke’s research.

      I had come across that documentary in 2018 and did a writeup for WWAM BAM.

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