I’ve heard this phrase uttered countless times by people in China when the holidays roll around, whether it’s Christmas or Chinese New Year.
And while I used to think the comparison was a bit of a stretch, over the years I’ve recoginzed that Chinese New Year and Christmas share fascinating, and sometimes surprising, commonalities.
Here are the most interesting ones I’ve observed over the years:
I have a January confession to make – my Christmas tree is still up.
Back in Cleveland, Ohio, where I grew up, this is not the norm. By Jan 6, most people have already packed away their ornaments and let garbage collectors remove the dried-out firs and spruces that were once dazzling in their living rooms. To them, the holiday season is over.
But my Christmas tree remains for a very good reason. To me, it’s also a symbol of the holiday season and my holidays aren’t finished yet.
Recently, China Daily published my Christmas story in a piece titled Christmas memories from foreigners living in China. (I know I’m a bit late updating you but I’ve been busy battling a cold and also caring for my husband, who caught the flu. But hey, if you subscribe to the 12 days of Christmas, it’s still technically the holidays. 😉 ) Here’s an excerpt from the piece:
In December 2013, I had to spend Christmas in the Hangzhou countryside with my husband’s family, who never had the tradition to celebrate this holiday.
It was my first Christmas away from America in many years, and the loss felt palpable in this rural village, where there wasn’t even a hint of the holidays. But in the end, I made a resolution — if they could not bring Christmas to me, I would bring it to them.
When my husband and I first began dating many years before, he had just quit his job at the company that also employed me. And that fall he started a master’s program in Shanghai, which only offered him a paltry stipend every month.
Translation? He was mostly broke.
That didn’t trouble me, though. I had a good job. And besides, I was really happy that Jun was working towards the career of his dreams. I didn’t mind being the “breadwinner” in our relationship, because Jun was so extraordinarily generous and loving in so many ways, and that was something you could never put a price on.
As our first Christmas together arrived that December, I never pressured Jun to shower me with lavish gifts. When he asked what I wanted, I insisted I didn’t need anything and told him to save his money instead.
So of course, he bought me something anyhow. (I shouldn’t have been surprised. Jun famously borrowed money from his friend just to treat me on our first official date together.)
As it turned out, it was just a small, inexpensive token — a guide to the birds of China, with full-color photos, the ideal gift for his bird-loving girlfriend.
But that wasn’t the only gift. He also presented me with what looked like a scroll. But after a more careful study, I realized it was just a piece of paper rolled up and tied with a piece of string. What was he doing giving me this?
As I unraveled the paper, I discovered a series of hand-drawn comics scribbled on it. While the stick figures made it clear Jun’s calling was decidedly not in art, one thing did become apparent — how much Jun loved me. Because there on this humble piece of paper, he had drawn a simple comic commemorating how we became a couple, from that humid train ride to Yiwu to the unforgettable evening by the West Lake when he professed his true feelings for me.
How did Jun even think to draw this for me? And how did he not feel even slightly self-conscious over doing it? All I know is, I remember feeling a rush of tenderness for him at the gesture. It was the stuff of made-for-TV movies, the kind of thing you imagine only happens to someone else.
I’m pretty sure a tear of gladness — or two — fell across my cheeks that day.
Those hand-drawn comics would become a regular from Jun while he was a student. And I came to treasure every one of them.
Have you ever been surprised or moved by a gift from someone?
What do the holidays taste like to you? Growing up, I would have said things like cranberry, gingerbread and all of the chocolates in my Advent calendar. But ever since I married a Chinese man, I’ve come to also associate many of his foods with the most wonderful time of the year.
Here are three Chinese foods guaranteed to put me in a holiday mood:
By 我乃野云鹤 – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=58911328
#1: Dumplings (Jiaozi)
For years, when my husband and I spent Christmas together in the US, it just wasn’t the holidays without having a dumpling-making party. Whether it was with several friends or just the two of us, we would spend a long evening, sometimes even Christmas Eve, folding up mountains of handmade dumplings, also known as jiaozi. My favorite filling is still tofu and pickled vegetables (including kimchi — yum!).
So if you put a stack of jiaozi dumpling wrappers before me, along with a heaping bowl of filling, it immediately puts me in a holiday mood. Especially when you’re able to share the experience with friends.
On the winter solstice, my husband’s family always has a huge family dinner, along with a huge helping of homemade sesame balls or maqiu. It was years before I actually tried one. But once I did, I found these treats, made of sticky rice dough coated in fragrant roasted black sesame seeds and sugar, a delicious and simple holiday treat.
During last month of the lunar year, it’s tradition in many parts of China (including where my husband’s family lives) to have a bowl of this colorful porridge. I first tried it in early 2014 and immediately fell in love with the sweet, rich flavors of all the “treasures” within the porridge — which could include everything from dates and goji berries to peanuts and lotus seeds. With all the eye-catching fruits and nuts hidden within this porridge, it kind of reminds me of fruitcake, another holiday food back in the West. Except, unlike fruitcake, you don’t have all of that dread or the associated jokes.
Just the other day, I met another foreign colleague of mine proudly announcing a trip back to his Western country to finally spend a proper Christmas with the family. He said he hadn’t gone back in five years, which easily won my sympathy as well as congratulations on finally having the opportunity to go. I was happy for him. And seeing him smile, a grin that could have flicked on all the Christmas lights in town, was refreshing.
But yet, after I retreated to my apartment, I couldn’t help but feel a certain uneasiness stirring within me. And it soon morphed into that ugly emotion of envy.
Yes, I admit it — I envied him a bit for finally getting home to enjoy a proper Christmas. Maybe I envied him even more because I too hadn’t spent Christmas with family and friends for five years. Five long years of spending Christmas in China.
And when I pondered this later on, I also recognized something else — that unlike my colleague, I’m “married to China.” Eventually he’ll return to his home country, either for a new job or to retire. Not me. When I moved back to China in 2013, I did it with the understanding that this would be my home for the rest of my life. That means a long future of years living in a country where December 25 is just another day — and not the biggest holiday of the year.
Every year I remind myself that Christmas in China is getting better, easier. And it’s true, I am becoming accustomed to spending December in China. There are things I’ve grown to love and appreciate over here — such as the joys of celebrating Christmas with someone who didn’t grow up with it, and the pleasure of introducing Christmas to friends and family. But that doesn’t mean I’m immune to feeling a little down every now and then. And sometimes, instead of trying to be another Pollyanna and pretend everything is just perfect, it’s a relief to admit how you really feel.
Honestly, though, sometimes I think the longer I’m away from Christmas, the more nostalgic I’ve become for the holiday. When you’re living in a country that doesn’t celebrate Christmas, it’s so easy to forget the worst of the holidays — such as the pressure to buy, buy, buy, or the endless parties you’d rather not attend. In my mind, Christmas has retreated into its own perfect snow globe and taken on a strangely romantic glow…in some ways, not unlike what many Chinese think of the holiday. But that could happen to anyone who longs for something they’ve missed over many years.
What I do know, though, is that the holidays will turn out just fine. Jun and I will come up with our own personal “Christmas program,” just as we do every year, including a Christmas dinner for two. We’ll also decorate the tree, put on our favorite Christmas music, and enjoy a few classic holiday movies. It won’t be the Christmas I once knew in Ohio, but I’m certain we’ll create plenty of Christmas cheer in the process.
Besides, as it turns out, my colleague is a little jealous I’m spending the holidays here. He heard there’s finally going to be a Christmas party for the foreign staff, something that hasn’t happened since 2010. And he’s not here to experience it.
Never thought the day would come that someone actually envied me for spending Christmas in China.
Have you ever spent Christmas in a country that doesn’t celebrate the holiday?
Christmas is coming! If you’d like to do Christmas like the Chinese do, here are three ideas for the holidays:
(Photo by Tom Gill via https://www.flickr.com/photos/lapstrake/2899950676/)
#1: Eat apples on Christmas Eve
“Isn’t it true you eat apples on Christmas Eve?”
When my sister-in-law asked me this, I remember thinking, huh? Where did she get this idea?
Well, it’s not hard to imagine why Chinese would have this idea. After all, the Chinese for Christmas Eve – Ping’an Ye (平安夜) – has the character ping (平) in it, which means peace. That sounds just like the ping in the Chinese word for apples (pingguo，苹果).
Last Christmas, I actually saw women selling “Christmas Eve” apples on the street. They promised every buyer a peaceful new year with the fruit.
Truth or fiction? While I doubt an apple on Christmas Eve will keep all the bad luck away, who doesn’t love a little fresh fruit for the holidays? What the heck, why not apples?
I’ll never forget one Christmas Eve when I stepped out onto Huaihai Road, Shanghai’s equivalent of Fifth Avenue, and right into a sea of twentysomething and thirtysomething couples, strolling hand-in-hand under strings of soft white led Christmas lights up and down the street. There were so many young people in love all around me, I almost felt like I walked onto a set-in-China romantic holiday movie.
It’s not as if Christmas isn’t romantic in the US, where I grew up. After all, Christmas remains the most popular time for wedding proposals, and often a season when many will surprise their loved ones with “a little sparkle” of jewelry under the tree. Plus, there’s at least one romantic holiday movie every year that squeezes in among all of the Santa Claus and elves at the movies (and often far more made-for-TV romantic movies — yes, Lifetime, I’m thinking of you).
But perhaps all that Christmas romance gets lost behind the Santa Claus and the Christmas story and Christmas Eve at your grandma’s and all of your other holiday and family traditions. I don’t know about you, but in my mind, I still think of family when I think of Christmas, and no amount of romantic movies and “buy your engagement ring” commercials could ever change that.
In China, the story changes. Christmas loses much of the holiday baggage and traditions we know because, well, it’s not traditionally in Chinese culture. At the same time, more young people tend to celebrate, instead of the cross-generational celebrations I remembered growing up. Maybe it’s just inevitable that, when you strip away the traditional meanings of the holiday and populate it with young people, romance is what you get.
In China, a romantic Christmas night out might include dinner for two at a cozy little restaurant. Or walking down the city streets, enjoying the Christmas lights and the crowds. Or even, if you’re lucky, a Christmas proposal. 😉
#3: Enjoy some traditional Chinese Winter Solstice Foods
The closest holiday to Christmas in China is the Winter Solstice. In the north, people ring in the holiday with dumplings (jiaozi). In the south, people eat tangyuan or similar foods (such as the sesame balls or maqiu my mother-in-law prepares). If you want to add some Chinese traditions to your Christmas, why not serve a traditional solstice food during your holiday dinner? Here’s a super-easy recipe for my mother-in-law’s homemade sesame balls.
I can’t believe it’s already December 20. As I write this post, I’m still knee deep in preparations for two Christmas parties this week — and, of course, have yet to do a single Christmas card. (At least I can send them out by e-mail – thank you, Hallmark eCards.)
Welcome to my busy December!
Of course, I’m busy in part because I moved a little over a week ago. (We’re still kind of living out of bags!)
But a lot of us get busy this time of year just because of the holidays. Believe me, I’ve been there.
You know – weekends packed with holiday get-togethers or shopping for presents or even just decorating your place. Then comes the big day and you’re schlepping yourself across town to visit all the family. Or you’re at home most of the day preparing dinner for the guests.
I’m exhausted just thinking about it!
But if you need some last minute holiday ideas, I’m here to help.
Are you struggling to decorate your place with a little Chinese flair? How To Make It A Very Chinese Christmas is chock-full of ideas, including a bunch of easy DIY decoration tips.
If you’re still pulling together your holiday menu, sometimes all it takes is a dish to bring a little something Chinese to the table. My husband and I always loved making sesame balls, one of his mom’s signature dishes for the Winter Solstice. Turns out, they’re super easy to prepare and very delicious. Check out the recipe here.
The holiday season is just around the corner. Whether you’re filled with delightful anticipation or dread, don’t worry. I’ve got you covered with this 2016 holiday gift and survival guide.
Okay, so let’s start with the biggest thing on everyone’s mind – the gifts.
Stumped on what to buy? Repeat after me – fruit basket! It’s the perfect present for your Chinese loved ones when you have absolutely no clue what to get. Check out my 4 Tips for Giving Gift Baskets in China.
What do you do if you’re stuck in China during Christmas and missing the holiday spirit? Well I say, if they can’t bring the holidays to you, you can always bring the holidays to them. Here’s How to spend Christmas in China with your Chinese family.
But sometimes, no matter what you do, you’ll still face those holiday blues, especially if you’re spending the holidays in China. You’ll find comfort in my post On Having the Christmas Blues in China.
Finally, a huge thank you to everyone who has been shopping Amazon to help support my husband’s case! If you’d like to join them and support the blog (and my husband) while you shop for the holidays, at NO additional cost to you, here’s how:
Finally, I’m an affiliate for Vypr VPN, a VPN provider that I started using before I signed up for the affiliate program. I’m currently offering two discounts – three months free OR 50% off your first month.
Wishing you all a great start to your holiday season!
Growing up in Cleveland, Ohio in America, January was always a great melancholy expanse of a month, as depressingly white as the snow that piled around the house.
Sad little evergreens, once the beloved focal point of the season, would end up tossed unceremoniously beside the road for garbage collection soon after the New Year, while I secretly hoped for a few more weeks with the trees on display. Everyone would pull the plug on their merry Christmas lighting, and its absence on those dark and well-below freezing nights would lend even more of a chill to the neighborhood. And just the thought of another two months or more of winter was often enough to make my head ache, just like a bad after-Christmas hangover.
Sure, I loved that Christmas trailed the Winter Solstice by a few days, entertaining us through the longest nights of the year with family, feasts and fabulous presents. But what would get us through the long and often bitter winter weather ahead of us? (I’m not kidding about the “bitter” part — Cleveland, Ohio actually made the Forbes list of America’s worst winter weather cities).
Thank god I married a man from China, where January marks the start – not the end – of the holiday season.
Everywhere I go in Hangzhou, there’s a palpable sense of anticipation of what the Chinese consider the most wonderful time of the year. The other night, I caught a glimpse of a raucous end of the year banquet, where everyone wore a festive red scarf printed with Chinese characters around their necks as toasts were made among laughter and smiles. Supermarkets entice shoppers with glossy red Chinese New Year gift bags that shine like beautiful Christmas wrapping paper, each filled with the season’s must-have snacks, herbal remedies and spirits, the perfect gifts for relatives and friends you’ll visit during the holidays. Christmas trees, holiday lights and even Santa Claus himself continue to grace the malls, stores and public squares, a nod to the many Chinese friends who often think of Christmas as Chinese New Year in the West – borrowing those Christmas symbols to imbue the city with even more holiday cheer. My mother-in-law has spoken of how she plans to do another large batch of homemade tofu, and given the way her fried tofu melted in my mouth the first time I tasted it, I’m salivating just thinking about it.
With all of this joy, excitement and holiday spirit buzzing all around me, the January blues I used to know as a child don’t have a chance in the buildup to Chinese New Year.
I love the timing of the Chinese holiday season. We have a holiday to look forward to just when winter is at its worst. Plus, once it’s over, you needn’t wait long for Spring. People here call Chinese New Year “Spring Festival” and in Hangzhou, it actually lives up to its name – not long after the official end of the holidays, the golden rapeseed flowers start to bloom in the countryside.
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#2: Sesame balls (Maqiu)
#2: Make it romantic
#3: Enjoy some traditional Chinese Winter Solstice Foods
