Tag: The Huffington Post

The Huffington Post just ran my piece titled An Open Letter to the Girl Whose Interracial Relationship Ended, which I first published on this blog.

In case you haven’t read it yet, here’s a snippet:

I was shocked to learn your steady Asian boyfriend of several years had left you.

Even though we’ve never met in person, I feel like you’re an old friend. Maybe that’s because we’ve both been in interracial relationships with Asian men. Or because I came to know you through what you shared with me over the years. Or even because you’ve supported me when I needed it most.

So I don’t think it’s enough to just say, “I’m sorry.” Sorry is such a small word, and small comfort. Honestly, I would rather give you hugs, just holding you the way friends have for me when I’ve weathered breakups.

You can read it all at the Huffington Post. And if you love it, share it!

P.S.: I’m in the process of moving this week, so I might be slow to respond to comments. Thanks in advance for your understanding!

It’s always a pleasant surprise when your friend shares a link with you on social media — and it turns out to be an article you wrote a few years back.

That happened to me just the other day. There it was in my social media messenging app — a picture of Jun and me under the title, Why Won’t Western Women Date Chinese Men? It was the first piece the Huffington Post ever published from me. Cool to see it’s still getting read, even after two years.

If you’ve never read it, here’s an excerpt:

“Whenever I arrive at the airport in America, the first thing I notice is our men, how handsome and how tall they are,” one of my white female colleagues mentioned over lunch. “I’ll just stare at them for hours, as if I was Chinese and had never seen a foreign man before in my life.”

At least that woman wasn’t as blunt as another colleague, who used to bicycle with me through the streets of Zhengzhou. As we stopped on the corner of a side street and watched the mostly-male populous pedaling past us through the intersection, she grimaced.

“Chinese men don’t really seem that attractive.”

“How can you say that?” I asked her.

“I don’t know… they just aren’t.” She sounded too casual for a woman who just dismissed the entire male population in China.

How could these women just write off all Chinese men as undateable? The question haunted me as I pondered my crush on Tian. But it wouldn’t be the last time I would find myself up against these ideas. As I continued to date the locals in China and eventually married a fellow from Hangzhou, I would come to realize that most expat women in China agreed with my Zhengzhou colleagues. And sometimes, their dislike was just shocking. A European woman I worked with in 2001 famously told me that, while she found all Chinese men completely repulsive, she considered Chinese children so adorable.

Check out the full piece at the Huffington Post. And if you like it, share it just like my friend did.

It’s October 7, the last day of China’s National Day holiday. Here’s wishing all of my friends in China had a great break! I’ll be back on Monday.

The Huffington Post just published How Loving a “Foreign Enemy” (And Writing About It) Changes Lives — a piece that first appeared here. In case you missed it, here’s an excerpt:

There’s so much we miss about a country if we only picture it through the eyes of the media.

Ron Coulter, my husband’s lawyer, reminded me of the value that comes from writing about what it’s like to live with – and even sleep with – the so-called “enemy” country.

When we share stories of our daily lives across unlikely borders, we offer a chance to go beyond the headlines. To understand that there’s more to these countries than what the reporters say. To connect with the people and realize that, despite the cultural and linguistic differences, we have a lot in common.

Maybe we really can change the world, one blog post (about a so-called “enemy” country) at a time.

You can read the full article on the Huffington Post. And if you love it, share it!