Ask the Yangxifu: On the Chinese Mother-in-law

A grandmother chopping a vegetable in the kitchen
When I think of mothers, I think of those Chinese mother-in-law dilemmas readers write me about. (photo by Zelenyak Zoltan)

Programming note: from May 2 until May 13, I’ll be in the process of flying to and then settling down in China for the summer. During this time, I’ll be digging up some classic content from the archives, and sharing it with you in the form of theme-related posts. And don’t worry — I’ll be back on May 16. Promise! 😉


It’s Mother’s Day this weekend in the US. When I think of mothers, I think of those Chinese mother-in-law dilemmas readers often write me about (and still continue to discuss). So I’ve compiled a couple of my favorite Ask the Yangxifu advice columns about the Chinese mother-in-law:

Building Better Relations with a Chinese Mother-in-law. Is your (future) Chinese mother-in-law giving you the cold shoulder? How can you build a better relationship with her, and be the “model daughter-in-law”, even if you’re not Chinese?

Your Chinese Boyfriend’s Parents Say No? Even though this one is about both parents, I was reminded of how I had a hard time getting my Chinese mother-in-law to warm up to me.

The Troubling Chinese Mother-in-law Relationship. Okay, it’s not an Ask the Yangxifu — but it might as well be since the conversation has attracted a lot of great questions and answers. Thanks so much to my readers for the comments, which have made this post a popular go-to for readers with Chinese mother-in-law headaches.

Happy Mother’s Day!


Do you have a question about life, dating, marriage and family in China/Chinese culture (or Western culture)? Every Friday, I answer questions on my blog. Send me your question today.

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